


Us+Countries=CHAOS

by CrazyFangirlOfLots



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 89,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyFangirlOfLots/pseuds/CrazyFangirlOfLots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love, hate, and a whole lot of HUMOR is what this story is. It's about five friends from our world that get transported into the anime world of Hetalia. THIS IS NOT A FANGIRL INTO WORLD FIC! These girls have no idea of what Hetalia is, so they wont be fangirling over them...but there will be fangirling over other stuff. Enjoy & please comment!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Imagine if

Imagine if everything was going well. Life was good and your future was bright. Then, some mysterious force flips your life upside down, says, “Suck it loser!” and you land flat on your face. Your life has been completely turned around and you have no idea of what to do. This new life contradicts everything you thought you knew and you are completely unprepared and so confused.

... And yet...somehow...it’s better.

That’s what happened to me.

To us.

To all of us.

 

It all began on a normal Friday night. I was going to a sleepover with my not-so-normal friends. We’re the oddballs, the nerds, the goody-two-shoes, the dorks, the crazies. Most definitely the crazies. But we embrace the titles. Why not be crazy and enjoy life?

Anyway, the party was at Safira’s because she lived out in the boonies, where there was enough room for us all and we could be as loud as we dang well pleased.

When I got there, I was greeted at the door by Safira herself. She’s only a little shorter than me, with long, strait light brown hair and green-blue eyes. She was wearing jeans, a T-shirt with penguins on it and her colorful socks were mismatched (a common thing among my friends, while I myself prefer to go barefoot). She was also wearing the super fuzzy panda hat with paws that I’d given her for her Sweet 16. She is the quietest of us, even though I’ve seen her cut loose when just with us, and she is arguably the least crazy of our group.  
“Adaliz!” she smiled and gave me a fuzzy hug.

“Hi Safi!” I smiled as I hugged back.

“How are you?” She asked as she let me in.

“Great!” I replied as I took off my jacket and shoes. “I’m super excited for tonight!”

“Good! Alexandra and Marina are already here. We’re still waiting on Zara.”

“Oh no, she didn’t get in trouble with her parents again, did she?”

“Nope, she’s just late.”

“Good. ALEX! MARI! GET YOUR BUTTS UP HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU!”

“COME DOWN HERE AND LISTEN TO ONE DIRECTION!” Alex screamed back.

“I DON’T WANNA LISTEN TO THOSE-”

“Don’t you dare,” Safi threatened from beside me. Dang it.

“Yes Mom,” I muttered as I walked downstairs.

“If you call me that again I’m gonna make you stand in the corner!”

I blew a raspberry up at her and then laughed as ran the rest of the way downstairs, Safi close behind me.  
“Hi guys!” I yelled as I launched myself into the air and bellyflopped onto the wide couch of Safi’s that I love so much and landed to Alex’s right.

Alexandra is about Safi’s height with long, strait brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a Justice Crew T-shirt with jeans and she had a gummy worm hanging out the side of her smirk. She was holding up her smartphone for Mari to see the video, one leg crossed over the other.

Marina was at Alex’s left side. She’s the tallest of us shorties, about two or three inches tall than me. She has long, curly brown hair clipped back on one side with green eyes. She had on her trademarks: a key necklace of some sort, many rings on her fingers, and a watch on her wrist. She wore a Harry potter T-shirt, jeans and a small, handmade chap stick holder clipped to her belt loop. She had a smile on her face, but then again, she always did.

“Hey Lees!” they said as they gave me attempted hugs from my spot next to them.

“How’s it goin’?” I said sitting up.

“Pretty good!” Alex replied, tossing her head up so that the rest the gummy worm fell into her mouth. “One D?” she asked as she offered her phone for me to see, still chewing. Luckily, I speak food.

“Is it the song that sound like a-”

“No! It’s Heart Attack.”

“Oh fine.” I said, adjusting myself to see the screen. Safi came over too and sat next to Mari. We listened to the rest of the song, singing along to the five British boys-oh, excuse me, four British boys and one Scottish-until the song ended. I didn’t really mind 1D, they were actually pretty good, but I didn’t fangirl all over them like some of my friends. I thought they should rap and breakdance more, and turn up the bass.

Baby, you got me sick,/I don't know what I did,/Need to take a break and figure it out, yeah,/Got your voice in my head,/Sayin' "Let's just be friends,"/Can't believe the words came out of your mouth, yeah

I'm tryna be okay,/I'm tryna be alright,/But seein' you with him,/Just don't feel right

And I'm like (ow!) never thought it'd hurt so bad/Gettin' over you-ooh,/And (ow!) you're givin' me a heart attack/Lookin' like you do-ooh,/'Cause you're all I ever wanted,/Thought you would be the one/It's (ow!) givin' me a heart attack,/Gettin' over you-ooh-ooh-ooh,

Yeah,/Baby now that you're gone,/I can't stand dumb love songs,/Missing you is all I'm thinking about, yeah/Everyone's tellin' me,/I'm just too blind to see,/How you messed me up, I'm better off now, yeah

I'm tryna be okay,/I'm tryna be alright,/But seein' you with him,/Just don't feel right

And I'm like (ow!) never thought it'd hurt so bad/Gettin' over you-ooh,/And (ow!) you're givin' me a heart attack/Lookin' like you do-ooh,/'Cause you're all I ever wanted,/Thought you would be the one/It's (ow!) givin' me a heart attack,/Gettin' over you-ooh-ooh-ooh,

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,/Ow!/Oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh/Yeah, every time you look like that,/Ow!/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Ow!/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh/You're givin' me a heart attack

But seeing you with him,/Just don't feel right

And I'm like (ow!) never thought it'd hurt so bad/Gettin' over you-ooh,/And (ow!) you're givin' me a heart attack/Lookin' like you do-ooh,/'Cause you're all I ever wanted,/Thought you would be the one/It's (ow!) givin' me a heart attack,/Gettin' over you-ooh-ooh-ooh,

You,/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh/You're all I ever wanted,/Ow/Yeah, every time you look like that,/Ow/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh/Come on, you're all I ever wanted/Ow/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh/You're giving me a heart attack,/Ow! 

Not a second after the song ended, we heard a door slam open upstairs.

“ZARA IS IN THE HIZ-OUSE!!!” The squad was completed. The craziest of us had arrived. Safi started to get up to help Zara in like a good hostess but the next thing we knew Zara had leaped down the stairs, spun around and launched herself at us. She landed in the middle of us, creating a heap of crazy girls.

“Zara!” we all complained. 

“Hey guys!” she said happily, as if the rest of us had not just been crushed. I couldn’t exactly glomp her, (as was customary between us, usually I’d have to hold her up though because she has terrible balance), since she was lying down, so I did the next back thing. I grabbed her around the middle and tackled her to the floor and off of the rest of our friends.

“‘Sup dude?” I asked as I stood up.

“The stratosphere.” she said from her spot on the floor. She’s a tiny thing at only an inch above five feet (though she insists that she’s 5’2”), and she has long, dyed black hair with purple highlights and brown eyes that changed shades. She was wearing a One Direction T-shirt and jeans.

“Hardeeharhar,” I said as I helped her up. “We’re watching One Dee, you in?”

“Am I in? Seriously?” She asked sarcastically as she got up and took my seat beside Alex. I shrugged and sat next to her. Mari, Alex, Safi, Zara and I sung to the song, Rock Me.

Do you remember summer '09?/Wanna go back there every night,/Just can't lie, was the best time of my life,/Lying on the beach as the sun blew out,/Playing this guitar by the fire too loud,/Oh my, my, they could never shut us down

I used to think that I was better alone,/Why did I ever wanna let you go?/Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea,/The words you whispered I will always believe

I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah,/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah,/I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah

We were together summer '09,/Wanna roll back like pressing rewind,/You were mine and we never said goodbye

I used to think that I was better alone (better alone),/Why did I ever wanna let you go? (let you go),/Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea (stared at the sea),/The words you whispered I will always believe

I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah

R-O-C-K me again,/R-O-C-K me again,/R-O-C-K me again, yeah/I want you to R-O-C-K me again,/R-O-C-K me again,/R-O-C-K me again, yeah

I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah

I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah/I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care/I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah

“Oh, I forgot to tell you guys,” Safi said when the song was over. “I have one more guest here tonight.

“Who?” Safi asked.

“Hailey.”

“HAILEY?!?!?!”  
I smiled. I love Hailey.

“But she’s crazy!” Mari protested.

“Yeah she makes Zara look like a Zen master!” Alex added.

“Ommmmm,” Zara said for effect.

“I know,” Safi sighed. “But it’s only for the night. I’ve just been watching her while my parents were on vacation. They’re coming over to pick her up tomorrow.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Alex said.

Safi stood up. “I’m going to go get her now,” she said. “She can’t stay in that room all night.”

“Okay,” we all said. We watched Safi go up the stairs. Nothing was said as we listened to the sound of Safi’s footsteps upstairs. Then the footsteps stopped.

“You guys ready?” Safi yelled down to us.

The rest of us huddled close together on the couch. I was still smiling. “Ready!” We yelled back.

Then we heard the sound of a door opening.

Safi had unleashed the monster.

A loud, fast thumping of feet came to our ears. The thumping ran across the house with incredible speed, and then it practically flew down the stairs. We huddled closer together and I closed my eyes as the thumping turned to skidding across the hardwood floor.

The monster had arrived.

I opened my eyes just in time to see a blur of strawberry blonde came straight at us.

WOOF

“HAILEY!!!” Everyone complained to the golden retriever that had jumped on top of us.

I laughed. “Hailey!” I exclaimed. Hailey responded by jumping on top of me. I laughed harder as she covered me in doggy kisses, trying to keep my mouth out of her reach. I love dogs and I don’t mind being slobbered on as long as none of it gets in my mouth. I’m not one of those crazy people who like it when dogs lick inside my mouth. I hadn’t had a dog since I was 13, and she’d been a very nervous dog who often bit us, so we gave her away. I’d never been able to have a real dog, so I loved every chance I got to be around one.

Hailey jumped off me and tried to give the same treatment to my friends, but they had all grown up with crazy dogs, so they weren’t as pleased as I was.

“Hailey! Heel!” Safi came down and commanded, to no effect. “HAILEY! HEEL!” 

Eventually, Hailey had calmed down to laying down beside the couch, quivering with excitement. 

Wiping the slobber off my face, I beamed and said, “Hey Safi! Can we play hide and seek Hailey? Please pretty please?”

“Hey that sounds like fun!” Zara said and Mari and Alex agreed, both beginning to grin giddily.

Safi smiled and nodded. “Okay, that’s a good way to start off the party” she said.

“YES!” Zara and I exclaimed and high-fived. “Me first!” Zara yelled as she ran up the stairs.

Hailey was about to run after her, but Safi was able to catch her by the collar before she could go anywhere. “You have one minute!” she called after Zara.

One minute later, and we were all grinning like madwomen. Safi looked up at us. “Should we let her have it?” she asked.

We looked at each other and started to count down loud enough for Zara to hear us, wherever she was. “Three! Two! One! GO!” We yelled and Safi let go of Hailey’s collar.

“Hailey! Go find Zara!” Safi ordered.

Hailey took off like a rocket. She zoomed up the stairs and the rest of us ran after her. She got to Zara before the rest of us did.

“AAIE!!!” We heard a scream from ahead. “Hailey get off! No! Ahahahahaha! Eek! Guys come help me!”

We all laughed and rounded the corner to see the tip of Hailey’s wagging tail in the bathroom door. We ran in and saw that Zara had curled herself into a small cabinet under the sink and had closed the doors. Somehow, Hailey had managed to nose the door open and now Zara was cornered and being loved to death.

Safi pulled Hailey off of Zara, who managed to uncurl herself from the ball she was in and crawl out of the cabinet. “That was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me,” she said, wiping some slobber off her face.

I giggled. “My turn!” I said as I ran back downstairs. Reaching the bottom, I looked around. I knew that I had only one minute to hide, so I had to make my hiding place a good one. That would be hard, since small, dark spaces are the best hiding spots, and I’m not too fond of small, dark spaces. I glanced down at my feet. I actually had socks on, for once. Then I got an idea. I took off my socks-phew! Did they stink! Yep, this would defiantly do the trick. So I dragged the socks along the ground until I came to the bookshelf and stuffed them in a small corner. 

“Three! Two! One! GO! Hailey! Go find Adaliz!” I heard from upstairs. Out of time to come up with a better idea, I quickly ran to the back of the living room and hid behind the couch. Not a second later, Hailey came pounding down the stairs. Just as I had hoped, she ran right over to where I’d put my socks and my friends followed.

“No! NO! Hailey drop it!” I heard Safi say.

“Adaliz! Hailey’s got your socks!!” I heard Mari yell.

Oh great! I shot out from behind the couch just in time to see Safi rip my socks from Hailey’s mouth. I walked over and took them from Safi’s hands. They were nothing but torn, wet rags now. I giggled. “That’s what I get for trying to cheat!” I said as I tossed what once were socks into the garbage.

“I’ve got some extra socks if you want them, Lees,” Mari offered.

I looked up and smiled at her. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I usually go sockless anyway!”  
~~Skippo~~  
We played three more times. Alex hid in the shower, Mari hid in a large pile of stuffed animals, and Safi hid under her bed. Hailey found all of us every time. After the game was over, we put Hailey outside to burn of some energy. As IF!

“Well,” Mari said, still smiling. “What should we do now?”

“I know!” Safi exclaimed, and in a burst on energy only seen at our parties, she ran out of the room. I smiled, happy to see her cut loose.

Soon, we heard the scrape of wood against wood, and then we saw Safi dragging out a wooden limbo set.

“Limbo!” Zara screamed, ran up to Safi and before we could stop her, she stole the limbo stick and ran around the room waving it in the air.

“ZARA HAS A STICK!!!” Alex sounded the alarm and Mari, Safi and I tackled her to the ground.

“My sticky! Mine!” Zara yelled as we tried to take the stick from her, being careful of her teeth. Zara bites.

“Zara let go or I won’t let you have any brownies!” Mari threatened.

“Letting go!” Zara said and suddenly let go of the stick, sending the rest of us flying backwards.

“Zara,” Safi sighed from her spot on the floor. “Be a good girl and go plug this into the stereo.” She held up her phone for Zara, knowing better than to toss something to her.

“Okay!” Zara exclaimed as she jumped up and took the phone from Safi’s hands. As the rest of us picked ourselves off the floor and set up the limbo set on the carpet, Zara looked through Safi’s song list and found Limbo Rock.

Somehow, I’d ended up at the front of the limbo line. I am the least flexible girl on the planet. I can’t even touch my toes, but at least it was just me and my friends. It was pretty much impossible for me to feel embarrassed when with my friends.  
“You guys had better not step on my face when I fall,” I joked and my friends laughed. Then I looked at the relatively high bar in front of me. Ima kill dis stick! I told myself with a smirk.  
“Okay guys!” Zara said, finger poised above the play button. “You ready?”

“Yeah!”

“Let’s go!” Zara exclaimed, pressing the button.

Every limbo boy and girl/All around the limbo world/Gonna do the limbo rock/All around the limbo clock/Jack be limbo, Jack be quick/Jack go unda limbo stick  
As the music started, I bent backwards to make it under the stick. The rest of my friends followed, Zara hardly having to duck at all.  
All around the limbo clock/Hey, let's do the limbo rock  
Limbo lower now/Limbo lower now/How low can you go  
First you spread your limbo feet/Then you move to limbo beat/Limbo ankolimboneee,/Bend back like a limbo tree/Jack be limbo, Jack be quick/Jack go unda limbo stick/All around the limbo clock/Hey, let's do the limbo rock  
la la la etc (instead of instrumental break)  
We went around a few more times, moving the bar lower with each round. It wasn’t long before the bar had reached a height at which I wasn’t sure if I could make it under. I eyed the bar distastefully, but then I began to bend over backwards. I knew that my balance wasn’t very good; it was almost as bad as Zara’s! I had a reputation for being clumsy, but then again, all of us did. So when I reached a height at which I might, might be able to make it under, I stepped forward. I kept going until the stick was right under my nose. Then I started to tip.  
“WoaAAH!” I yelled as my arms flailed out to the sides in a desperate yet futile attempt to maintain balance. When my toes lifted off the ground, my back stopped arching and I landed on my rump.  
My friends started laughing as so did I. It was funny! I must’ve looked like a cartoon with my arms going everywhere! I got up from my spot on the floor , stood next to the limbo stick, flipped back non-existent dreads, and said “Keep da game goin’, mahn!” in a Jamaican accent. My friends laughed and as they continued limboing I continued singing the song in a Jamaican accent, humming when I didn’t know the lyrics, which was pretty much for the entire song.  
Get yourself a limbo girl/Give that chic a limbo whirl/There's a limbo moon above/You will fall in limbo love/Jack be limbo, Jack be quick/Jack go unda limbo stick/All around the limbo clock/Hey, let's do the limbo rock  
Eventually only Zara and Safi were left; Zara because she’s so small, and Safi because she’s extremely flexible. The bar was ridiculously low, and Zara lived up to her unbalanced reputation and didn’t make it under. Safi stood looking at the stick.  
“Come on Safira! You can do it!” we cheered.  
Safi looked at us and smiled. Then she calmly took off her panda hat with paws and set it down to her left. Then she lifted her hands over her head and she bent back…and back…and back until her palms were on the floor. In this bridge shape, she proceeded to sort of scuttle under the stick. One she had passed, she erected herself, beaming.  
Don't move that limbo bar/You'll be a limbo star/How low can you go  
“Woo hoo! Go Safi!” we cheered again as we all gave her hugs.  
“As winner of the limbo contest,” Safi said, placing her panda hat on her head like a winner’s crown. “and hostess of this party, I declare that we shall have a dance party to celebrate!”  
“YAY!” We all yelled and made a dash for the stereo. Alex got there first and plugged in her phone. She immediately turned on Justice Crew’s “Boom Boom”, to which none of us protested. She proceeded to teach us the moves she knew from the chorus, which included moves which we would never do in public.  
Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)

Woo!

Okay, the gang's all here/And everything feels alright/Ladies, the drinks on me/Yeah, we can do shots all night/That's right, I'm on that s***/(I'm on it)/And it's about to go go down/All night, we ain't gon' quit/And all I need is a few more chicks/(Let's go)

Yeah, ladies we drop it/So no man is hot in it/And we got money/To blow oh oh/The party is rockin'/The whole crew is poppin'/We own this, we got this/Let's go oh oh

Callin' all sexy girls/All around the world/Look at that aeroplane fly/Up on cloud nine/D*** you so sexy ooh/And the things you do/Drive me out of my mi-mi-mind/And the party goes boom boom boom

New York to Cali/London, Miami/Them girls be slammin'/And the party goes boom boom boom/Rio, Dubai/Moscow, Mumbai/So sexy fly/'Cause the party goes boom boom boom

D*** girl you were ten, oh my/And you keep looking at me/No wings, but you still fly/If you got a man tell him bye bye bye

Yeah, ladies we drop it/So no man is hot in it/And we got money/To blow oh oh/The party is rockin'/The whole crew is poppin'/We own this, we got this/Let's go oh oh

Callin' all sexy girls/All around the world/Look at that aeroplane fly/Up on cloud nine/D*** you so sexy ooh/And the things you do/Drive me out of my mi-mi-mind/And the party goes boom boom boom

New York to Cali/London, Miami/Them girls be slammin'/And the party goes boom boom boom/Rio, Dubai/Moscow, Mumbai/So sexy fly/'Cause the party goes boom boom boom

Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/'Cause the party goes boom boom boom/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/(It's getting hot in here)/Boom boom/Yeeeeaaahhh

Callin' all sexy girls/All around the world/Look at that aeroplane fly/Up on cloud nine/D*** you so sexy ooh/And the things you do/Drive me out of my mi-mi-mind/And the party goes boom boom boom

New York to Cali/London, Miami/Them girls be slammin'/And the party goes boom boom boom (yeah)/Rio, Dubai/Moscow, Mumbai/So sexy fly/'Cause the party goes boom boom boom

New York to Cali/(Boom Boom)/London, Miami/(Boom Boom)/Them girls be slammin'/(Boom Boom)/And the party goes boom boom boom boom/Rio, Dubai/(Boom Boom)/Moscow Mumbai/(Boom Boom)/So sexy fly/’Cause the party goes boom boom boom  
I am such a bad dancer, but I love to dance! Thankfully embarrassment among my friends and I is virtually nonexistent, so I didn’t have to hold back. After some more songs, we eventually became exhausted and we decided that maybe we should change into our pj’s and order pizza.  
When it was my turn to go into the bathroom to change, I quickly put on a huge blue T-shirt and my fuzzy cow pajama pants. I took a quick glance at the mirror. I’m around 5’4” with maple syrup brown eyes. My hair was a pixie cut that had been dyed a bright blue, but was starting to fade away and you could see my dirty blond/light brown hair color at the roots. I smiled at how messed up my hair was from all that dancing. Just wait until my morning bedhead came…  
I walked out of the bathroom just in time to see Alex grab the phone to dial Domino’s Pizza. Then I got an idea…  
“Alex wait!” I exclaimed as I ran up to her. “Guys!” I called and beckoned everyone closer. “I’ve got an idea, but first, Alex, let me use your phone,” When she handed it to me, I used it to YouTube “Gabriel Iglesias Drive Thru Voice”…  
~~Skippeedoo~~  
One minute and forty-two seconds later, we were all rolling on the floor laughing. “So do you guys think we should do it?” I asked them between laughs.  
“OH MY GOSH YES!” Zara screamed and that sent us into another laughing frenzy.  
“Okay then since Alex has the best composure I think that she should do it,” I said.  
“All right!” Alex fist pumped and then dialed.  
“Everyone be quiet!” Mari giggled.  
We could just barely hear the person on the other end come on and greet her.  
“Hello sir? Hahahahahahaha!” Alex said in a very high, obnoxious voice. “Can I please have three large cheese pizzas and an order of breadsticks? Hahahahaha!” The speaker repeated the order and Alex said, “Oh my gosh yes!”  
We all almost fainted trying to keep our laughter in. Alex then proceeded to give our address in the same voice and then hung up. We all rolled around on the floor laughing hysterically for a good five minutes until we could finally talk again.  
“Okay Safi,” I said. “When the guy comes, you go get the pizzas, okay?”  
Safi frowned. She was very shy around strangers and did not enjoy talking to them.  
“Don’t worry,” I said “Only Alex will actually talk.” I explained the rest of my plan.  
Safi cocked her head to one side, considering this, then she smiled and nodded.  
~~Skippeedee~~  
When the pizza man came, a very quiet, shy Safi opened the door. The pizza man looked confused at her silence. “Uh, did you order three large cheese pizzas and an order of breadsticks?” he asked her. She nodded, shyly avoiding eye contact and pointed to the table sitting next to the door. As the pizza man came in we made sure that we were all hidden and Alex began sneaking up behind the man. Once he’d set the pizzas down, he turned to her and said, “Will you be paying in cash?”  
That’s when Alex popped out at the guy’s shoulder and said in that same voice, “Oh my gosh yes! Hahahahahahaha!”  
The look on that poor guy’s face was priceless! We couldn’t take it anymore and we fell out of our hiding spots, laughing like crazy. The dude didn’t know what to do, and so we paid him and gave him an extra-large tip for all the trouble we had caused. We sent him away then, shutting the door before laughing once more and diving into our pizzas.  
~~Skippeeday~~  
After we’d finished eating our pizzas, it was decided that we should play Safi’s singing game on her gaming system. Mari went up first, and she squealed with delight when she found one of her favorite songs.

Hey, hey, hey 

Your lipstick stains On the front lobe of my/Left-side brains/I knew I wouldn't forget you/And so I went and let you/Blow my mind  
Your sweet moonbeam The smell of you in every Single dream I dream I knew when we collided You're the one I have decided Who's one of my kind 

Hey soul sister/Ain't that mister mister/On the radio, stereo/The way you move ain't fair, you know/Hey soul sister I don't wanna miss/A single thing you do/Tonight 

Hey, hey, hey 

Just in time/I'm so glad you have/A one track mind like me/You gave my life direction/A game show love connection/We can't deny /I'm so obsessed/My heart is bound to beat/Right out my untrimmed chest/I believe in you/Like a virgin, you're Madonna/And I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind 

Hey soul sister/Ain't that mister mister/On the radio, stereo/The way you move ain't fair, you know/Hey soul sister I don't wanna miss/A single thing you do/Tonight 

The way you can cut a rug/Watching you is the only drug I need/So gangster, I'm so thug/You're the only one I'm dreaming of /You see, I can be myself now finally/In fact there's nothing I can't be/I want the world to see you'll be with me 

Hey soul sister/Ain't that mister mister/On the radio, stereo/The way you move ain't fair, you know/Hey soul sister I don't wanna miss/A single thing you do/Tonight 

Hey soul sister I don't wanna miss/A single thing you do/Tonight 

Hey, hey, hey/Tonight/Hey, hey, hey/Tonight  
We all clapped and cheered for her when she had finished. She’s a really good singer! After her, a few more people sang. When it was Safi’s turn, she came across a song on the list that she didn’t recognize.  
“What the heck is that?”  
“I dunno, look at the lyrics.”  
…  
“Oh great! Another drunk song!”  
“Isn’t a Bolognese a dog?”  
“They mean the sauce!”  
“Why are they drawing a circle?”  
“That’s the earth!”  
“Why are they toasting with boots?”  
“It’s an Italian thing.”  
“It’s so weird!”  
“It actually sounds kindof fun!”  
“Hey it’s a five person song!”  
“Really? I thought the max was four!”  
“Let’s all sing! Come on! Let’s share the mike!”  
“Okay! Here we go!”  
Hey hey papa, could I have some wine/Hey hey mama, hey hey mama!? It doesn’t matter what I do I’ll never forget,/The taste of Bolognese won’t get out of my head!  
Draw a circle, that’s the earth! Draw a circle, that’s the earth! Draw a circle, that’s the earth! I am Hetalia!  
Ah, the world around us,/Can be seen through the stroke of a single brush,/And now we give a toast with our boots!/Hetalia!  
“AAAAAAAH!!!” The next thing we knew, we were falling through the air! Then everything went black. When we woke up, something was very different.

There were eight men staring at us. And Zara screamed:

“OMIGOSH IMA CARTOON!!!”


	2. OMIGOSH

“OHMIGOSH I’M A CARTOON!!!” Zara screamed.  
“Ugh,” I groaned, sore all over. My eyes were closed, but I could feel grass under me. “Zara,” I said, rubbing my eyes before opening them, “What are you talking abou-AAH!!!” I screamed. What I saw in front of me was a life-sized, living anime girl! She had screamed at the same moment I had and we both launched ourselves backwards. The anime girl had green eyes and long, curly brown hair clipped to one side. She looked to be about two or three inches taller than me. We stared at each other for a while, then I finally broke the silence. “… Marina?”   
The anime girl blinked at me. “Adaliz?”  
“Yes!” I exclaimed and got to my feet. I offered my hand to Mari and she took it.  
“What’s going on?” she asked as I helped her up.  
“Guys?” I heard Alex say. Mari and I turned to see an anime Alexandra helping up an anime Safira.  
Just then, a blur of black and purple flew by. “I’M A CARTOON!!!” an anime Zara screamed as she ran around in circles.  
“Zara! Come!” Safi called, holding out her arms.  
Zara turned on a dime and ran into Safi’s arms and the rest of us crowded around them.  
“What is going on guys?” Safi asked, her voice raised to a frantic octave that reflected all of our fear.  
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to keep calm and keep my voice from rising also.  
“Perhaps we could be of assistance,” said a voice from behind us.  
We all screamed and whirled around, and since we’d been standing so close together, we got tangled up in each other and we fell into a pile.  
“Ow,” I moaned, rubbing my head and looking up. What I saw made me gasp.  
There were eight young anime men staring at us.  
My friends saw them too, and we huddled together in a frightened, confused lump. Zara was gripping onto Safi, still saying “Omigosh! Omigosh!” Safi was somewhat behind Alex, peeking out over her shoulder. Alex was looking at the men in confusion, arms linked with Mari, who had landed next to me. I was at the front of the pile, closest to the men. We stared at the men in fright and confusion, and they just stared out of confusion.  
One of the young anime men stepped forward, towards us.  
I snatched a nearby stick off the ground and pointed it at the men like a weapon. “S-Stay back!” I commanded, trying to appear threatening, but my voice was shaking and so was the stick, which meant that I was shaking. “What anime are we in?” I asked them. “Avatar? Inuasha? Ranma 1/2? School Rumble?” I rattled off any anime name that came to mind. Then I realized how stupid of a question that was. “Er, never mind,” I shook my head. One of those wasn’t even Japanese, and it’s not as if anime characters knew that they were in stories. I revised my question “Where are we? Who are you?”  
The man who had stepped forward spoke. He was only about two inches taller that Mari and looked to be in his early twenties. He had short, messy blond hair, lime-green eyes, and very, very thick, dark eyebrows. He wore a brown coat over a simple white dress shirt with a red tie. “It’s alright,” he had a British accent and used a comforting tone. “We aren’t going to hurt you.”  
“We saw you farr from the sky,” said a thin young man with a calm, soft Japanese accent. He was the shortest of the group, maybe only an inch taller than me, and he had black hair and dark brown eyes. He wore a white suit. “We wanted to see if you were arright.”  
“Safi, why can’t that guy say his L’s right?” I heard Zara say softly, hopefully softly enough for the Japanese man not to hear.  
“Ayia!” said a young man with a Chinese accent. “That was some fall!” He was only an inch or two taller than the Japanese man, and he had dark hair pulled back in a ponytail and amber-brown eyes. He wore white mandarin-collar jacket and dark green pants. “We didn’t think that anyone could survive a fall from that great of a height.”  
“You are alright, da?” said a man with a Russian accent. He had to be six feet tall, the tallest of the group. He had a round, childish face and a more prominent nose for an anime character. He had very light beige hair and his eyes were a vivid violet. He wore a white hooded jacket over a brown sweater vest, white dress shirt, red tie, a pinkish-tan scarf, and dark pants. “You do not seem to have any eenjuries.”  
I lowered my stick slightly. Maybe these guys weren't a threat. “Yeah,” I said. “Everybody alright?” I turned around to look at my friends and assess any possible injuries.  
“Just cuts and bruises,” Mari answered.  
“Zat is impossible!” a man with a German accent exclaimed. He was tall, only about an inch shorter than the Russian, and quite muscular. His blond hair was slicked back and he had sky blue eyes. His face was very stern, yet quite handsome. We wore a deep brown suit with a matching tie and a white dress shirt. He looked to be about twenty, but his aura of seriousness made it hard to judge. “How could you have possibly lived after falling from zat high?”  
“No flippin' clue,” Alex said. “How high were we?”  
“You had to have fallen from at least a mile high,” the British man answered with an expression on his face that was a mix of shocked, disturbed, and concerned.  
Silence dominated the air as my friends and I turned to look at each other in chock. A mile high? Surviving that should have been impossible...  
“We don't know,” I answered as I turned back around to the men. “A miracle.” I stated, seeing how there was no other explanation. “But you still haven't answered my question,” I said, raising my stick again. “Who are you?”  
The British man was about to answer, but he was interrupted.  
“ 'Sup dudettes!” exclaimed an enthusiastic man that didn't have an accent, but he had a very loud, obnoxious voice. He was just barely taller than the Brit, and he wore glasses. He had short, dusty blond hair with a small hair sticking up near his scalp and blue eyes. He wore a simple white dress shirt, a mahogany tie, tan blazer and tan pants. He looked to be maybe not quite twenty. Then he said something very strange. “I'm America! Your very own country!”  
“You bloody idiot!” the Brit broke his calm demeanor and I watched his anime face contort with expression. His eyes went all white and his mouth got bigger when he yelled, “You're not supposed to tell them that!”  
My friends and I looked at each other, each one of us astonished by the extreme expressions that were common to anime but didn't exist in our world.  
“Ciao pretty ladies!” said a man with an Italian accent who had been hiding behind the German man. He was only a tiny bit taller that Mari. He had short auburn hair with a random curl sticking out the left side of his head. His expression of happiness was so extreme that his eyes were squeezed so tightly that I couldn't tell what color eyes he had. He wore a striped dress shirt with a green tie and white pants. He looked to be about twenty, although he acted much younger. “My-a name's Italy!”  
“Dummkopf!” the German man got angry extremely fast, and his angry face, under different circumstances, would've been quite funny. “Zat's supposed to be a secret!”  
“Aah! I'm-a so sorry Germany!” 'Italy' cried, his expression changed from extreme happiness to extreme fear and he trembled violently, even though somehow I thought that 'Germany' wouldn't hurt him. I still couldn't see his eyes.  
“Bonjour, ma cherries,” said the last man with a French accent. He was the same height as the Brit, although he looked to be in his mid-twenties. He had shoulder-length, wavy blond hair, stubble on his chin, blue eyes and a suave smile. “I am France, le pays de amour,” he said with a wink.  
“The what-da-wha?” Zara asked, confused.  
“The country of love,” Mari translated.  
“Ohonhonhon, you speak ma language?” 'France' asked.  
“Oh no you don't, you frog!” the Brit exclaimed as he smacked 'France' in the face.  
“ 'Ey! I was just ‘aving a conversation, England!” 'France' retorted.  
“Shut up!” yelled the Chinese man. “You are giving away our secrets!”  
“Countries...?” I asked, glancing at my friends, who were as confused as I.  
“I guess it's possible,” Safi said quietly. “This is an anime after all. Not much isn't possible.”  
'England' facepalmed and sighed. “Yes,” he said. “We are all the personifications of our countries, and it's supposed to be a secret,” he said pointedly at 'America', who only smiled in response. So that guy really was our country? Oh gosh... “You’ve already met this idiot America, France and Italy. I am England,” he introduced himself.  
“Ni hao!” said the Chinese man. “I am China!”  
“Konichiwa,” said the Japanese man with a small bow. “I am Japan. I am very preased to meet you.”  
“I am Russia, da,” said the Russian man with a smile.  
“Und I am Germany,” said the German.  
“So wait,” Alex said. “In this world, each country is a person?”  
The countries nodded.  
Alex let this sink in for a minute, then she yelled, “TAKE ME TO AUSTRALIA!!!”  
I slapped a hand over her mouth and looked back at the countries, who were surprised at the sudden outburst. My face began to heat up and I laughed nervously, “Heh heh-AAH!” I yelled as I snatched my hand away. 'Alex!” I said in a harsh whisper. “Don't. Lick. My hand.”  
Alex just smiled at me.  
I turned back to the countries, who all had weirded-out expressions on their faces.  
“Uh, er, uh,” I said intelligently, trying to think of something to say. Then, I saw that Zara had materialized next to Italy. She stood there staring at him, and him at her nervously. Suddenly, she hugged him and started shaking him back and forth violently.  
“YOU MADE PASTA!!!” she screamed.  
Poor Italy's head was flinging back and forth wildly, and I was sure that Zara was going to give him whiplash. “Aah! Germany save-a me! The bella is attacking me!” He screamed.  
“Guys help me!” I yelled as I grabbed Zara before Germany could I and tried to pry her off. When I got response, I looked over at my friends. Alex had a giddy look on her face, still thinking about Australia no doubt. Safi was sitting stock still; the only part of her body moving was her eyes, which were going back and forth between England, Alex and China. One Direction, Australians and pandas, but I hoped that her shyness would keep her at bay. Mari was also staring at England.  
“Mari!” I yelled to her, still trying to pry Zara away from Italy. “Stay with me!”  
“But Harry Potter,” Mari moaned like a zombie, looking as if she might attack England in a hug. I tried to think of something I could do to snap her out of it. The only thing I could think of would be a horrid lie, and I might cry, but I had to do it. “Jason is better than Percy!” I yelled at her.  
That snapped her out of it immediately, but then she glared death at me. “How could you?!” she demanded. “Traitor!”  
“I lied! I had to do it! I'm so sorry! Now help me get Zara off this guy!”  
Mari then returned to her normal self, got up and helped me pry Zara off.   
“Watch her teeth,” I warned Mari as she held down Zara.  
Mari nodded and then bent and whispered something in Zara's ear, which at first made Zara very angry, but then she relaxed and Mari let go of her.  
I then walked over to Safi who hadn't moved, but she looked like she was about to crack. I sat down next to her. “Safi,” I said. “I'm sorry I have to do this, but,” I whispered into her ear, “Death to all mangoes.”  
Safi whirled around at me and I just nearly dodged a slap in the face. Anger dominated her face briefly, which was extremely terrifying, but then she returned to normal once she realized why I'd said what I did.  
“Now go help Alex,” I told her. “You know what you have to say.”  
Safi's eyes widened at me. “I-I can't!” she said. “Please don't make me say it!”  
I sighed and then walked over to a still giddy Alex. I didn't sit down next to her, that would be too dangerous. Instead, I said as quickly as I could. “Australiansaren'thot!”  
“No!” she screamed and tried to attack me, but I had already jumped out of reach. “I've even converted you into a J- Crewie!”  
“Shut up Alex!” I yelled, not willing to admit that I had become a fan of any boy band, especially when I wasn’t. “Snap out of it!”  
Alex looked at me, puzzled for a moment, then her face registered realization. “Oh you were just-”  
“Yes!” I said. A sighed and sat down, tired out quickly from the many threats of disembowelment. The imitate threat had been extinguished. It's not like I didn't have my own reasons for screaming and glomping the countries also, but I was trying to keep them at bay. And I'll even admit that it was hard.   
I forced myself to look at the countries.  
Most of them were sweat dropping, with their eyes had gone white, and they're faces had changed from scared to terrified.  
My faces got extremely hot. I don't know if I blush or not, but it sure felt like I was now. “Uh,” I said trying to think of what I could possibly say. “I'm so sorry about that. We're not usually like this,” I lied. “We’ve all had a long, confusing night, and I think we're all a little bit hysterical.”  
The countries stared at us for a moment. Then Russia, the only country who hadn't looked terrified of us, smiled. “You girls are so cute.” he said.  
Now my friends, the other countries, and I all turned to stare at him.  
“I'm not cute.” I heard Safi mutter quietly.  
Then the countries turned back to us and we stared at each other in silence.  
“Okay, let’s just take a step back here for a moment.” England said, trying to calm down. “First questions first: Where did you come from?”  
Before any of my friends could answer, I let my defensiveness take over. “What does it matter?” I said a bit harshly. Realizing that what I’d said sounded suspicious, I bit my tongue and said quickly, “I mean, we don’t know how to get back, or if we even can.” I glanced at my friend’s confused faces. Don’t say anything, I attempted telepathic communication.  
The countries pondered this for a bit in silence. “Vell,” said Germany slowly, turning to his fellow countries. “Zese girls have obviously been zrough a lot. Maybe it vould be best for zem if ve found a place for zem to stay ze night.”  
“Yeah bro!” America exclaimed as he fist-pumped. “They should totally stay at my house because they're my citizens and I'm the hero!”  
“I do not think that wourd be any good for their hearth,” Japan mumbled quietly.  
“They could always stay with me,” France said as he winked at us again.  
“NO!” the countries all yelled at him.  
“It is getting dark,” Russia observed. “Why not just let them stay at my house, da?”  
The countries all looked at him, even more terrified of him then they had been of us. It was weird, he seemed innocent enough, but something about him made me...perturbed.  
“They can't stay with any one of us,” England said. “It wouldn't be right for young women to stay at a man's house.”  
“But Russian dude’s right about one thing,” America said. “It is getting dark.”  
We all looked around. Sure enough the evening was turning into twilight, which was funny because when we left our world it had been late at night.  
“I know!” China said after a pause. “We'll let them stay at the World Conference Hall-aru, at least until we can figure out what to do with them.”  
“Excuse me,” Mari spoke up. “What to do with us?”  
The countries turned back to us. “Yes,” England said. “We don't know how long you'll be here, so we must make accommodations for you.”  
“But why not just hand us over to the authorities?” Mari asked. “Wouldn't that be easier than doing it yourselves?”  
The countries looked at each other a bit nervously, as if they had been hoping that Mari wouldn't ask that question. The Japan spoke up. “You know our secret, therefore we are responcabre for you. It is the porite thing to do. Besides, I do not think that your...situation, would be suitabre for the authorities to handre.”  
“We have to make sure zat you keep our secret,” Germany added, crossing his arms. “Ve need you to come viz us so zat ve can keep an eye on you.”  
“So, you're kidnapping us.” Alex summed it up.  
“Are any of you minors?” England asked.  
My friends and I shook our heads.  
“Then it is only abduction if you do not come with us willingly,” said England with a small smile.  
My friends and I looked at each other, and Alex motioned us into a huddle.  
“Uh, we'll be just a moment,” I said to the countries before joining the huddle.  
“I think that we should go with them,” Alex said.  
“What?” I asked her. I'd been thinking about making a break for it. “Are you crazy?”  
“Yes,” Alex answered. “but that aside, we need their help. And anyway, who wouldn't want to be kidnapped by eight hot guys?”  
“I wouldn't,” I said. “We don't even know if these guys are who they say they are. I mean, countries? They could be escapees from the funny farm!”  
“They're dressed pretty nicely for that,” Mari countered.  
“That's just what they want you to think!” I said pointing a finger at her. “We are in an anime after all; they could be dangerous.”  
“I don't know,” Zara said. “They seem alright to me,” Now Zara may be crazy, but she's not dumb, and she also happens to be a great judge of character.  
“Yeah,” Mari agreed. “Besides, I think that if these guys are who they say they are, they're are best shot at getting home.”  
I thought for a moment, then I said, “Safi, what do you think.”  
We all turned to look at Safi, who was looking at the ground, silent in thought. Then, she said, “Guys, we're all alone in an anime world where countries are people. We need help, that's putting it mildly, and I have a feeling that these guys are going to be the best help we can get. No one who didn't see us fall is going to believe our story.”  
After a moment of thinking, I asked, “Anybody got any better ideas?”  
No one replied.   
“We're in agreement then? We're going to go with these strange anime guys who claim to be their own countries?”  
Everyone nodded.  
I sighed, but I decided to trust my friends' judgment. “Alright,” I said. “Let's do this thing.”  
My friends smiled and we turned back to the countries, who had been waiting patiently. They now looked at us expectantly.  
I took a deep breath, then said, “We have decided to come with you, willingly.”  
“Yay! We're going with the countries! We're going with the countries!” Zara sang as she skipped around. She stopped in front of Italy, who cringed as if waiting for impact. “Hey,” she said, poking him in the arm and he looked at her. “Sorry for glomping you,” she said. “I just really like pasta. We all do!” she motioned to the rest of us.  
Italy's face lit up. “Me too!” he exclaimed. “Pasta's the best! Besides, when I'm not being shaken, I like hugs!” and to prove this, he gave Zara a hug, and she hugged back, beaming happily.  
“By the way,” England said, smiling slightly, “I don't believe that we've had the pleasure of learning your names.”  
“I'm Marina,” Mari said with a grin.  
“I be the amazing Alexandra!” Alex proclaimed, lifting her chin high.  
“I'm Safira,” Safi said shyly, but she was smiling.  
“My name is Zara!” Zara exclaimed happily.  
“And I'm Adaliz,” I said, a friendly smile spreading across my face. Hey, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. At least we were all still together.  
The countries smiled, well except for Germany, but he didn't look unhappy. I got the feeling that he didn't smile much.  
“We should probably get going,” China said. “It is getting cold and these girls are in their night clothes.”  
I looked down and sure enough, China was right. I crossed my legs apprehensively, a little embarrassed that I'd been seen by a bunch of guys in my fuzzy cow pajama pants.  
“Alrighty then!” America exclaimed. “To the World conference Hall! Everyone follow the hero!” He yelled as he pushed himself to the front of the group and then began marching in a way that I guess he thought heroic. If this was our country...no wonder everybody hates us!  
Alex laughed and ran to join him, marching 'heroically' at America's side, who beamed at her.  
Some of the other countries shook their heads at our country as we all followed.  
“Um,” I heard Mari say in front of me, and I saw her walking beside England. “I just wanted to say, it's your country that Harry Potter came from, so thanks.”  
England grinned at her. “You're very welcome,” he said. “Those are some of my favorite books. The magic simply fascinates me.”  
Mari smiled. “Me too!” she said, and then they struck up a conversation about spells and stuff I wouldn't know about because I don't read Harry Potter.  
Safi walked next to me, trying not to draw attention to herself, but China came up to her and smiled. “Ni hao,” he said pleasantly. “You remind me of a little panda-aru.”  
Now, this I found random, but apparently Safi liked it because she smiled, blushing madly. “I love pandas,” she told him softly.  
“I love pandas too!” China exclaimed “They are so cute!” He then went on to talk about pandas. Safi listened in genuine interest, smiling and nodding and even putting her own two cents in every once in a while as she became more relaxed.  
I could also hear Zara and Italy having a lively conversation about pasta from behind us. Well, at least it started out about pasta, then it switched to pizza, and then to many other things. Italy seemed to be as random as Zara, and that was saying something.  
I walked along in silence. All my friends were talking to someone, and I was too shy to start up a conversation myself. As we walked, I started shivering after a while. I looked down at my feet, which were bare. Dang, it hadn't seemed like a big deal when Hailey ate my socks, but now I was walking around at night without anything on my feet, and it was a chilly night. Well, there was nothing I could do about it, so I kept walking and didn't complain.   
“Hey,” someone said, and I turned to see Germany walking to my right. “You look cold,” he said. It was then that I realized that there were small shiver-lines around my body, especially near my feet. Germany had noticed this already, so I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't cold.  
“It's alright,” I said. “I'm hot blooded anyway. I'll be fine.”  
Germany looked at my feet for a moment, not saying anything. Then he stopped and took off his shoes. “Here,” he said, holding them out to me. “Take zese.”  
“No you don't have to-” I tried to protest but when I saw Germany's unwavering expression, his blue eyes like stone, I stopped and took the shoes. “Thank you,” I said, putting them on. They were much too big for me, but they were warm and I sighed with relief, a small smile on my face.  
“Vhere are your socks?” Germany asked me as we continued walking.  
“Oh, um,” I said, looking back to my feet. “Safi's crazy dog ate them.”  
Germany nodded in understanding. “Dogs can be like zat,” he said. “I have zree at home.”  
“Three?” I asked, looking back up at him. “That must be a handful. What are their names?”  
“Blackie is a German Shepard, Berlitz is a Doberman, und Aster is a golden retriever.”   
I smiled. “Cool,” I said. “I love dogs, even if they eat my socks.”  
“Do you have any?”  
“I had a couple when I was a kid, but they weren't very good dogs. The last time I had one was when I was...thirteen I think. I can't afford more than an ankle-bitter dog right now, and I can't stand those.”  
“I hate zose!” Germany said. “Zey are always barking, and zeir eyes bug out of their heads.”  
I giggled slightly. “I'd never do this myself,” I said. “But I heard somewhere that it's possible to squeeze them so hard that their eyes pop out,”  
“No vay! Zat's disgusting!”  
“Isn't it?” I laughed. “You'd think it'd happen more often the way people squeeze them and carry them around all the time.”  
“I've never understood zat. Vhy can't zey let zeir dogs valk on ze ground like normal dogs?”  
“I know, right? If you want something to carry around all the time, get a cat.”  
I saw what might have been the start of a smile on Germany's face, but interrupted by “Ve Germany! I want pasta!”  
Both of us turned around, and Zara said, “Yeah Leesy, let’s get some pasta!”  
“Zara,” I said with a sigh. “We just ate three large pizzas and a box of breadsticks! Aren’t you full?”  
“Never!” Zara giggled.  
Sighing, I turned back around to continue on our way, but I tripped on one of Germany's big shoes and faceplanted into the ground.   
Zara laughed, Italy cried out in surprise, China said “Ayia!” and Safi gasped. I pressed my face into the ground, thinking...more or less, Fuuuuuuuuuudge. My clumsiness had struck again, in front of people we had just met.  
“Mein go-! Are you alright?” I heard Germany exclaim as he and Safi helped me up.  
My face was burning with embarrassment. I couldn't think of anything to say, but luckily Zara piped up from behind me and said, “Don't worry! We're all clumsy like that!” and Safi nodded in agreement while she tried not to smile.  
“Five more Italys,” Germany sighed, and I turned my head to see him put his face in his hand. Somehow I got the feeling that wasn't a good thing. “Vell,” he said. “Please try not to hurt yourselves.”  
“Oh, we never try to,” Zara said. “It just happens.”  
I giggled softly, trying to laugh off my embarrassment. “Once,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “I slipped down the same set of stairs twice in the same trip down.”  
Germany stared at me, as if he wondered how on earth I'd lived this long. “How did you manage zat?” he asked.  
“Well, um,” I said, my face heating up again. “They were thin, steep stairs made of smooth metal, and there wasn't much light in the room.”  
“... I guess zat is a little more understandable.”  
“We've gotten better though,” Safi pointed out. “That happened when we were freshmen in high school.”  
“True,” I said, smiling a bit as I made a conscious effort to walk slower in Germany's shoes. “Very true.”  
~~Skippideedoodahday~~  
Soon, we were at the World Conference Hall. When we got inside, the countries found some blankets and pillows from some storerooms in the basement.  
“Well,” Mari said through a yawn as we took the blankets. “In the world we came from, it was almost midnight, so I think that we should get some shuteye.”  
England nodded. “We'll let you get some sleep then” he said, motioning to the other countries to leave.  
As they began to leave, I suddenly remembered that I still had on Germany's shoes. “Germany! Wait!” I called and ran up to him. I handed his shoes back to him “Thanks for letting me use these,” I said.  
Germany nodded. “You're velcome. Guten noct,” he said, turning to leave.  
“Auf wiedersehen.”  
Germany turned back to me for a second, as if surprised that I'd spoke his language. Then he turned and left.  
The rest of the countries said goodbye in their own native language as they filed out the door. England was the last to leave. “We'll come to check on you again in the morning,” he said with a small smile. “Now sleep well,” He closed the door.  
“Goodnight,” We called after him, then we got ready for bed. We arranged the many blankets that the countries had given us so that the biggest ones were on the bottom like a mattress. The rest were piled on top of us as we crawled in for the night without a word. We huddled close together, more for comfort than for warmth. We lied there silently for a long time.  
“Guys?” Zara finally broke the silence. “What's going to happen now?” No one spoke for a while; no one really had an answer.  
“Yeah,” Alex said. “Are we going to get back home?”  
“Or will we be stuck here?” Mari asked.  
“Forever.” Safi added ominously.  
After another silence, I finally said, “Well, right now we're going to sleep. We'll be able to think better in the morning.”  
My friends nodded slowly in agreement, and then they settled in for sleep.  
Being on the edge of the group, I turned to my open side, my back against Mari's, and said a silent prayer. When I was finished, I lied there thinking to myself. What's going to happen now? I repeated Zara's question and I sighed. I don't know guys... I just don't know.


	3. WWIII: Food Style

“Lees, you should get up,”  
I pressed my face into my pillow and waved my hand around in the air. “I’ll get up when the waffles are ready,” I mumbled.  
“There are no waffles,”  
I lifted my head a bit, keeping my eyes shut. “Pancakes?”  
“No.”  
“French toast?”  
“No!”  
“Then what da heck are we havin’?!’”  
“Adaliz! Remember where we are?”  
I paused a moment. “… Oh yeah,” I said. “… So, no breakfast?”  
“I think you’d better get up,”  
“Why?”  
“The countries are coming…and you have bedhead.”  
It took some time for my groggy brain to process the significance of that statement. I always got bedhead…bedhead…BEDHEAD! I shot upwards and looked at my friends. Safi and Mari were standing over me, Zara was searching around the room, looking around the room and saying, “Waffles are you here?” and Alex was still asleep.  
“Don’t worry, we’ll get to her next,” Mari said, nodding towards Alex.  
“We figured you’d want to fix…that,” Safi explained. “before the countries came.”  
I put a hand to my head and asked, “Is it bad?”  
My friends nodded and I felt the utter chaos that was my hair with my hand. I shot up and found a nearby bathroom. I ran in, took one look at the mirror and shrieked. This was the first time I’d seen my anime self. It was weird looking so…simple, yet having the manga-idealized appearance. It was hard to recognize myself, but it was me. My eyes were larger and more reflective, but they were the same maple-syrup brown, and my pixie cut hair was still bright blue. My hair. Oh gosh my hair. If I didn’t look anime before, I sure did now. My hair stuck up all over the place and I looked like a shonen action hero. Lacking a shower, I dunked my head in the sink instead. When I pulled up, I expected to see blue dye in the water since my color was fading, but I didn’t. Then I looked up at the mirror and noticed that my natural hair color wasn’t poking through my scalp anymore. Wincing, I plucked a hair out of my head and studied it. It was blue to the root. I had naturally blue hair. Wow. Blue hair. That was the last straw.  
I cracked.  
“GIAAAAAAAAH!!!” I screamed as I ran out of the bathroom. “I HAVE BLUE HAIR! I HAVE BLUE HAIR!”  
“ADALIZ! Calm down!” Safi screamed and she took ahold of my shoulders. “You’ve had blue hair for a while now!”  
“No! You don’t understand!” I screamed back. “It’s naturally blue!”  
“Really?” Zara asked. “Is my hair natural now too?” and she tried to see her own scalp.  
“Hold still,” Mari said, looking at Zara’s head. “Yup, yours is too.”  
“Sweet!” Zara said, not freaking out like I had. “Now I don’t have to pay for re-dyes!”  
“Lees,” said Safi, releasing my shoulders. “You might wanna go dry your hair. It’s sopping wet.”  
“… Oh…right,” I said, recovering from my shock before dashing to the bathroom again. Since it was a public bathroom, there were no towels, so instead I dried my hair in those had-air-drier thingies. It took a while, but it got the job done. Once I fixed my hair I went back out to join my friends. Alex was awake now, though she didn’t look too happy about it. Zara had shown Alex her newly colored hair.  
“Oooooookay,” Alex said. “At least that’s not the weirdest thing that could’ve happened.”  
“Don’t jinx it,” I said walking over to them. “Anyone know when they’re supposed to be here?”  
“No idea,” Mari said, looking at her watch. “But it’s about-… Listen,” she stopped short and we all listened. We turned towards the door and heard many feet approaching. Soon, the door opened a crack, and America’s head popped through.  
“Yo dudettes! He said loudly. “Ya’ll awake yet?”  
“Hi America!” Alex said with a smile. “Yup we’re awake!”  
“Good!” America replied as he kicked the door open. In his hands was a great big heaping plate of-  
“Waffles!” Zara exclaimed as she began to jump up and down excitedly.  
Italy appeared from behind America. “Hello to you pretty ladies!” he said with a big smile. “How did you sleep?”  
“We slept good Italy!” Zara replied with a wave and a smile.  
“That’s well. You slept well.” England said before coming into view. He smiled at us. “Good day ladies,” he nodded to us.  
“We have brought you some breakfast, da!” Russia said with a smile as he came in, trailed by the rest of the countries, each one of them holding food. The smell of all the food was so tantalizing that my mouth watered and my stomach growled, and my friends looked equally hungry.  
“Food sounds very good right now,” Mari said with a smile.  
The countries set up the food at a long table that was probably used for their meetings and my friends and I sat down next to each other. As the food was passed around I took a little bit of everything. I’d been a very picky eater in the past but I had changed that now, plus I’d always liked foreign foods.  
Italy had brought some pastries, Germany brought sausages with cheese, Japan brought steamed rice and something called miso soup, China brought some fried noodles, Russia brought ‘oladushki’, which looked like pancakes, and France had brought crepes.  
As England’s plate was passed to me, I recognized something next to the pudding.  
“Sheepskin!” I cried, delighted.  
England looked at me funny, “No,” he said. “It’s fried bread dough.”  
“Is that what it’s normally called?” I asked. “My family always called it sheepskin. I would’ve never guessed it to be English, but the point is it’s delicious!”  
Every single one of the countries stared at me in shock.  
“… What?” I asked nervously.  
“Oh, ma Cherie,” France said. “Anything that comes from England’s house is certainly not delicious, if it is not toxic.”  
“My food is not that bad France!” England yelled indignantly.  
“Uh, it’s deep fried bread dough smothered in cinnamon and sugar,” I said flatly. “What’s not to like?” I took a large piece for myself.  
“Sounds like a doughnut!” Zara piped up.  
“Exactly!” I said, pointing my sheepskin at her before taking a bite. As soon as I had, I wished I hadn’t. It was the most disgusting sheepskin I’d ever had; it tasted like real sheep skin. I closed my eyes and forced myself to chew and swallow, fighting a gag reflex. When I looked up, I was the countries all watching me again. All the attention was making me uncomfortable.  
Just then, America burst out laughing. “England can’t even make doughnuts right!” he cried.  
“Shut up you bloody git!” England screamed, seriously pissed off.  
I wanted to disappear soooo badly. I felt terrible for getting someone laughed at, and I turned to my friends for support.  
Mari, who had taken some sheepskin before me, was now eyeing it cautiously. Safi looked at me with pity; she knew what it was like to not want to be the center of attention. Alex was daring Zara to eat some sheepskin, but for once Zara didn’t look so sure. Instead, she shrugged Alex off and finished her waffle.  
“Zara!” America exclaimed. “Dude, you just ate like five waffles in three minutes!”  
Zara paused, a now pastry-filled hand halfway to her mouth. “That’s nothing,” she said. “I once ate seven pancakes in five minutes, and I’ve eaten more than that.”  
America gaped at her. “Where do you put it all?!” he asked.  
“My legs are hollow,” she said simply. “It all goes to my legs.” She slapped her thigh and took a bite out of her pastry. “Mm! Italy these are delicious!”  
“Thank you!” Italy replied happily. “I wanted to bring pasta, but Germany wouldn’t let me.”  
“Zat is not a breakfast food.” Germany grumbled like he’d said that many times before.  
“But China brought pasta for breakfast,” Alex pointed out.  
“No,” China said. “I brought noodles. Pasta is made from flour, noodles are made from rice. Noodles and pasta are very different.”  
“I don’t know…” Alex said, lifting a fried noodle to her eye before eating it.  
I glanced towards my friends, and then I did a double take. Zara’s hands were in a braced position against the table and her eyes were wide as she stared at Russia. Russia was smiling and staring back, only it wasn’t staring back, only it wasn’t a stare like Zara’s, he was just looking at her without blinking. Zara’s eyes got wider and so did Russia’s smile. Suddenly, Russia’s eyes and smile opened and he was suddenly surrounded by a purple aura. It happened so suddenly that I jumped in my seat, and so did Zara.  
“Aah!” she screamed, but then she banged her head against the table. “Dang it!” she exclaimed in defeat. “Dude! How do you do that?!”  
Russia laughed, which sounded high and unmanly, but it seemed to fit him. “It is fun to have these ‘staring contests’.”  
“Wait, you just-!” France exclaimed but didn’t finish his statement.  
“But he’s so-!” China said in a similar fashion.  
“How could you stand-!” England unconsciously followed their example.  
Zara shrugged, ignoring the other countries’ awed stares and continued eating.  
“So, is there a Greece?” Mari asked.  
“Yes,” England replied with an annoyed tone, though it was not directed at Mari. “But he’s always sleeping.”  
“He seems stoned!” America put in, his mouth full of food.  
“Well, he can’t be all bad,” Mari said. “I mean, he did invent Greek mythology, which is the basis for Percy Jackson.”  
“Actuarry,” Japan said. “That wourd be his mother, Ancient Greece.”  
“Either way,” Mari said. “Because of Percy, I am grateful to him.”  
“I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” Alex said, not looking up from her food. “Percy Jackson isn’t even cute.”  
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?” Mari screamed. I was tempted to do the same, but I decided to let Mari handle the gross insult.  
Alex shrugged. “He can’t compare to Australians,” she said.  
“THAT’S IT!” Mari screamed and launched herself at Alex, knocking her off her chair. What ensued after that was a dust cloud (yes inside a building) from which occasional limbs or heads in chibi form would pop out of and then disappear into again.  
I glanced at the other countries nervously, but most of them acted like this was normal behavior. Still. “Erm, hey guys,” I said to my fighting friends. “Guys? GUYS!” I shouted at them. The dust cloud vanished and Mari and Alex were revealed with each one’s hands around the other’s throat. They both stopped to look at me.  
“Let’s try not to go completely anime crazy yet!” I told them.  
They looked at each other for a second before letting go. Mari made an ‘I’ve got my eyes on you’ sign before sitting down.  
Safi had been pretty quiet, so I looked over at her. She’d eaten all her food except for England’s pudding, which if it was as bad as his sheepskin, I couldn’t blame her nor not eating. Instead, she seemed to be seeing what she could do with it. She had already made a small pudding-snowman using her spoon and now she was silently but dramatically destroying it. When she looked up and saw me watching her, she leaned in towards me and whispered, “It’s just like the mashed potatoes at school!”  
I’m pretty sure that fried noodles almost came out my nose (EW!) as I tried hard not to laugh. When I recovered, I saw Safi scoop up a big glob of pudding and act like she was going to take aim with it.  
“You wouldn’t!” I whispered, a huge grin spreading across my face. Obviously Safi would never do anything like that, but the idea of it happening anyway was extremely amusing and I secretly hoping that it would.  
Safi shook her head, grinning, “That would be funny though,” And she pulled back on her spoon as if to shoot.  
Suddenly, her finger slipped. The world went into slow motion, which made the whole scene that much more painful to watch. The glob of pudding sailed through the air, across the table, headed straight for… Oh gosh, it was headed straight for Germany! Safi and I were frozen in horror as we watched the pudding not waver from its path to its chosen target. Germany looked up from his food just in time for the world to switch back to real time and smack him straight in the face.  
Everyone gasped when they saw what had happened and everyone at the table went silent, watching, waiting…  
Still frozen in horror, Safi and I stared, mouths agape as Germany wiped some pudding out of his eye. Safi’s hand was still holding the spoon in a post-launch position, so Germany easily identified her as the culprit and glared at her.   
Everyone waited in silence for something to happen.  
Safi looked at me, her eyes pleading for help.  
I gulped as I looked back at Germany, who had stopped glaring at Safi and was now looking at only me. He waited sternly for an explanation.  
“Oh. My. Gosh.” I said, still stunned, but I wasn’t going to let Safi take the brunt of this. “I am so sorry! I swear we weren’t aiming for anybody, especially not you! We were just-”  
“That’s a great idea!” America exclaimed suddenly. He jumped up and, holding a syrup-drenched waffle over his head, yelled, “FOOD FIGHT!” and chucked it into England’s face.  
England didn’t move as the waffle fell slowly and comically from his face and then dropped into his lap. He stood up calmly, his faced covered in syrup, placed one hand against the table and with the other took a handful of pudding. “TAKE THIS YANKIE!” he screamed as he threw it at our home country, who ducked, and so the pudding smashed into the side of China’s head.  
“AYIA!” China cried angrily. “You western nations are so immature!” and he grabbed some fried noodles and threw them.  
From there it escalated into WWIII: Food Style. America, England and China continued throwing food, and France was throwing crepes into peoples’ faces for the pure joy of it. Russia was pulling food out of a faucet pipe that he’d grabbed out of nowhere and was throwing it, though no one dared to throw any back at him, and he was smiling happily. Italy was hiding beneath the table, crying and babbling incoherently while waving a little white flag. Japan sat in his chair, quietly eating his food, acting as if he didn’t notice food flying past him.  
“Hey!” Mari shrieked as she barely dodged a flying crepe. “Watch it!” she yelled as she picked up the crepe just thrown and whipped it into France’s face with a smack with force equal to a slap in the face. France went down. Alex and Zara were laughing and throwing food also, having a great time. Safi had sunk a little in her seat, looking horrified at what she’d started, yet she watched the fight in great interest. It was quite amusing to see grown people throwing food at each other.  
I’ll admit it; the food fight looked like a lot of fun, especially since everyone was in on it, but I didn’t join in because I’d seen Germany before I could grab any food. His eyes were squeezed shut and his teeth were gritted. A growling sound emitted from him, which escalated in volume. He looked like a volcano that was about to explode, and then he did.  
“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.  
Everyone stopped what they were doing immediately and looked at Germany, a bit scared.  
“Ve came here to velcome our guests not to fight like ve do at meetings! Just because one mistake is made does not mean zat you can all start zrowing food! Sit down stop acting like children und eat your food!”  
Everyone who had been standing sat immediately and it was silent for a long time.  
“… We are very sorry, ladies,” England broke the silence by apologizing to us. “It appears that we have gotten carried away. I suppose you think us quite off our rockers now.”  
My friends and I looked at each other, unable to think of anything to say, yet all thinking the same thing. Zara started it off with a giggle, then Mari started to chuckle. Safi was trying not to laugh, but she was having a hard time with it. Alex started laughing out loud and then I lost it too, clutching my stomach and laughing very hard. Soon, the five of us had fallen to the floor in a heap of anime girls, hopelessly lost in our laughter.  
“Oh dear,” England said worriedly. “It looks as if we have shocked them into hysteria.”  
“You-!” I cried out, gasping for breath. “You guys-think that-you’re off your rockers?! Ha!” I stood up, still shaking from laughter as I helped my friends up. Still laughing, just not as hard as before, we all more or less leaned on each other for support. Once we’d calmed down enough to wipe the tears from our eyes and minimize our laughing to fits of giggles, I stepped forward towards England. “My good man,” I said formally, too far into our post-laugh attack bliss to be embarrassed. “If you fine gentlemen are as crazy as this, then we are all going to get along just fine.”  
England looked at us for a moment, surprised, then he smiled. So did the rest of the countries, except for Germany. He sighed and put his chin in his hand. He looked like a person does after they’ve thrown their hands in the air and said ‘I give up!’, like he knew that this was going to be a crazy ride but wasn’t going to complain about it. I may have just imagined it, but I thought that I saw the barest hint of amusement in his eyes.  
~~Para bailar la time skip~~  
From that point on, it was as if a wall between is and the countries had broken down. We were all a lot more relaxed and conversations flowed more freely than before. Even Safi, whom Germany had forgiven for the pudding incident, spoke every now and then. Germany made everyone clean up the mess we’d made in the meeting room, which was only fair since the room was meant for things slightly more sophisticated than food fights. Luckily, it didn’t take very long. In animes, time seems to skips over boring parts, and this was no exception. The next thing we knew, the meeting room was literally sparkling with cleanliness.  
“Ve should get going,” Germany said to us all.  
“Where are you going?” Mari asked, a little disappointed that they were leaving so soon.  
“We,” England said with a smile. “referring to us and you, are going to take you girls to where you’ll be staying while you’re with us.  
“Sweet!” Alex said happily. “Let’s go guys!” she beckoned to us as she skipped to the door.  
“Wait,” Safi stopped us. “Guys, we’re still in our pajamas!”  
My friends and I looked at each other. Yup, we were. We didn’t have anything else to wear.  
“Who cares?!” Zara said and she ran out the door, into the world, in her pajamas.  
My friends, some of the countries and I laughed as we joined her. As we went out the door, I noticed that there was still some pudding on Germany’s face.  
“Excuse me, Germany?” I said, making an attempt to be less hyper around this country. “You’ve got a little something on your face.”  
“Vhat?” Germany asked, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.  
I bit down a giggle at his obliviousness. “There’s still some pudding on your face,” I told him. “Though I wouldn’t recommend eating it,” I said in a quieter voice.  
“Don’t tell England that!” Mari giggled as she skipped by.  
I laughed and turned back to Germany, who wasn’t laughing. “Ahem,” I coughed, regaining a more serious demeanor as I glanced away for a second. “I, uh, I’m sorry about the pudding incident.”  
Germany sighed. “Aren’t you and your friends a little old to be playing with your food?”  
“… Yeah…,” I said. There’s no use denying it. “But aren’t the other countries a little old to be fighting like children?”  
Germany didn’t say anything for a moment, then he sighed. “Yes. Yes they are.” He said, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.  
“They give you headaches, don’t they?”  
Before he could say anything, we heard Italy yell in a sing-songy voice, “Germany! Germany!”  
The tall blond nation sighed and nodded. “Especially zat one,” he grumbled.  
Italy, trailed by Zara, came running up to Germany and glomped him, exclaiming, “Hug!” which surprised me greatly. Zara did the same, which did not surprise me the slightest.  
Germany sighed again and pried the man off him. “Vhat is it Italy?” He said in the same tone an annoyed adult would use with a child.  
“Germany! We’re almost at the pretty ladies’ new house!” he said excitedly.  
“Ja I know Italy.” He told the other nation. “Now go play until ve get zere.”  
Italy did and Zara followed him like a puppy. The two seemed to be getting along quite well.  
“We’re already there?” I asked Germany.  
Germany nodded and looked at me. “Distance is different for us countries,” he explained. “Ve often valk to each ozer’s houses, vich are in our home countries. Und now zat you know about us, so vill it be for you und your friends.”  
I paused for a moment, then I smiled. “Sweet!” I exclaimed. “That’ll make getting around a lot easier!”  
“Lees! Lees!” Alex called as she came running up to me. She didn’t usually glomp me, but I found myself bracing for impact anyway. “We’re there!” she told me.  
“Alright!” I exclaimed and I ran after her. We joined the rest of our friends as we ran up the street to our new house. When we got to it, we all stopped and looked at it in silence.  
“They’re going to trust us?” Safi asked, looking at the house.  
“With a house?” Alex added.  
“By ourselves?” Zara said, grinning giddily.  
We looked at each other, and the rest of us began to grin also.  
“This,” I said. “Is gonna be great.”


	4. With a house

It was a relatively small house, about 30ft long by 24ft wide. A brick chimney ran its way up the front of the house, but no smoke came from it. The yard to the left went for only about twelve feet before it hit the woods, but the right yard stretched about thirty feet till it ended.   
A man, probably the seller, came out the door and strode down the walkway up to our group. He looked confused, but he was trying to hide it. “You folks must me the potential buyers,” he said with a slight southern drawl. “Name’s Berk. Nathan Berk. But you can call me Nate.”  
“Nice to meet ya Nate!” America greeted the man as he shook his hand enthusiastically. It didn’t strike me as smart to let America to be the one to talk to the seller, but then again we were probably in his country. “I’m Mr. Jones, and these are my colleges. We’re looking to buy a house for our friends,” America gestured to us non-countries. “Marina, Adaliz, Safira, Zara, and Alexandra.”  
“Oh! You’re here just for the ladies!” Nate exclaimed in realization, not greeting us. “That’s good, cuz I don’t got enough rooms for all of yous!” Then he looked at us funny and asked, “Why are they wearing pajamas?”  
Shoot, I thought, and everyone’s faces echoed my thought. It was time for someone to do some quick thinking, which was not my strong suit.  
“It’s National Pajamas Day,” Alex replied easily. “We’re just celebrating the holiday. These guys aren’t in on it cuz they’re party poopers.” She jutted her thumb at the countries.  
“Oh,” Nate said. “That makes more sense.” He happened to look my way. “Nice cows,” he said to me with a grin.  
Now normally I would’ve just laughed this off, but I was so emotionally drained from lack of sleep and surplus of excitement that my composure wasn’t what it should’ve been. My face went hot and I stared at the ground.  
“Herr Berk,” I heard Germany say quickly. “Ve vould like to see ze house now.”  
“Sure thing!” Nate replied with a smile. “And please, just call me Nate.” This guy must’ve been even more obtuse than me!  
As everyone began to walk towards the house, I received some pats on the shoulders from my friends. I quickly regained composure and went with the group up the walkway and into the house.  
“Have yourselves a look around,” Nate said once everyone was in the door, gesturing to the house with a broad sweep of his arm. “I’m here to answer any questions you have.”  
The countries stayed with Nate for the most part, who gave them a tour of the house, while my friends and I opted to and run around the house, looking at whatever we pleased. “Guys! Look at this weird oven!” Zara said.  
I looked over and saw that it was indeed not your average oven. The stovetop was not attached to it. It was one of those old-style ovens that opened from the side with a large, windowless door and was surrounded by brick, which was partially because the chimney was behind it. It looked like it should’ve run on wood, but there were dials below it for adjusting heat.  
“It kindof looks like a pizza parlor oven,” Mari commented. “Especially with the bricks.”  
“It’s big enough to put Zara in,” Alex added.  
“You are NOT going all Handsel and Gretel on me!” Zara yelled, to which we all laughed.  
The kitchen countertop was made of rusty-colored granite that matched the bricks, and it ended halfway down the length of the house with a bar. In the middle was a square island.  
“Whoever lived here must’ve really liked to cook,” Safi commented.  
“That’s one big fridge for one guy,” Alex commented, looking at the large, double door refrigerator.  
“Good thing too,” I replied, opening the door to look inside. “Since we eat like teenage boys after football practice.”  
“More like Australian teen guys after a rugby game,” Alex corrected.  
We laughed and then continued to the bathroom. We passed Nate and the countries on our way there; they were headed for the basement. Now, the five of us squeezing into a bathroom that was only ten feet square was never a smart move, but we didn’t really care.  
While in there, I found something intriguing between the shower and the sink: a small, square door in the wall. I opened it and stuck my head in for a better look. It was lined with sheets of metal like a vent, and it went both up and down. “Hey guys, check this out! Echo!” I giggled as my voice resounded down the tunnel. “What is this?” I asked  
“It’s a laundry chute,” I heard Mari answer, but I couldn’t really see her from inside the chute. “Remember the hole in the bottom of the closet at my parents’ house?”  
“The one I almost fell down?”  
“Yes. It’s like that. And don’t stick your head in any further or it’ll get stuck.”  
Heeding Mari, advice, I pulled my head out, or tried to anyway. Oh no. “Guys! I’m stuck!” I exclaimed, struggling to remove my head from the hole in the wall, claustrophobia starting to set in.  
Of course, my friends burst into laughter, like the good friends they are.  
“The countries have to see this!” Zara laughed and I guessed that she was headed for the door.  
“ZARA!” I shrieked, loud enough for Zara to hear me, but hopefully not loud enough for the countries or Nate to hear, though the way my voice carried up the tunnel disturbed me. “I WILL KILL YOU!”  
“No offence Lees,” I heard Alex say, and I felt someone pat my back. “But you’re not exactly in a …position, to be making threats,” she snickered at her joke.  
“Please Zara!” I switched from threatening to pleading. “I’m begging you! I’d be on my knees if I could be right now!”  
“Then you wouldn’t need to get out,” Alex pointed out.  
“Not helping!”  
“Sorry Lees!” I heard Zara say, and I could hear her grin. “This is too good to pass-ow! Safi, let go!”  
“No.” I heard Safi say as I heard the door click shut. “You are going to help us get her out of there.”  
“But-”  
“No.”  
“Fine.”  
“Is there any soap?” I asked. “Something to make this easier?”  
“Nope,” Alex answered. “No one lives here, so why would there be soap?”  
“Helpful,” I said sarcastically.  
“Hey now, watch your tone missy, or we’ll go get the countries.”  
“NO!” I screamed, forgetting that I was trying to be quiet. “I’m sorry! Just please help me!”  
“Say that Alex is more awesome than you.”  
“Fine!” I growled, hating that I was being toyed with. “Alex is more awesome than me! Now get me out of here! I’m claustrophobic!”  
Someone’s arms wrapped around my middle. “You ready?” I heard Mari say. “This’ll probably hurt…a lot.”  
“Yes! Just get me out of here!” I was starting to panic now.  
“Okay. One, two, three, pull!”  
I bit down a scream of pain as my head was wrenched out of the laundry chute. Once I was out, I rubbed the sides of my head. After a moment, I looked at the hole in the wall, pointed at it angrily and said in a deep voice, “Evil.”  
“Well, you did stick your head in a laundry chute.” Alex pointed out. “I’d’ve thought that if anyone‘d do that, it’d be Zara.”  
“Yeah,” Zara said, then she paused. “Wait… Hey!”  
“Let’s just keep going,” I sighed.  
We all exited the bathroom and continued looking around the house. The whole second half of the house was basically one large living room. The left looked more like a den, while the right was more open and had a sliding glass door that led outside to the patio. Directly across the house from the front door was a spiral staircase that went both up and down.   
I started to lead the way down the stairs, but I stopped short when I heard Nate say to the countries, “The house has never made those noises before. It almost sounded like screaming in the vents.”  
“Go up! Go back up!” I hissed at my friends as I began pushing them backwards up the spiral staircase. If someone asked one of my friends about the noises, I knew that they’d spill the beans, and I had no intention of that happening.  
“Why?” Zara asked from the back of the group.  
“Let’s see the second floor first! You know what they say! Start at the top and work your way down!”  
“Isn’t that-”  
“Just go already!”  
Eventually everybody went back up the stairs, much to my relief, and we went up to the second floor. There were six rooms, all the same size. Since we’d done a 180, that meant that left was right and right was left, so to our left were three bedrooms, and to the right was a bedroom, a bathroom, and another bedroom. As we looked in the rooms, we found that all the bedrooms were painfully almost identical, and the bathroom was nearly a carbon copy of the one downstairs.  
“If we do stay here,” Mari said, looking in another room. “We are going to make these rooms a lot more interesting.”  
“Paintjobs.” I said simply, looking at the plain white walls and grinning at Alex. “Defiantly needs paintjobs.”  
“And 1D posters!” Zara exclaimed.  
“PLEASE don’t start the poster contest again!” I begged.  
“Why noooooooooot? It’s just an innocent who-can-put-the-most-1D-posters-on-their-wall contest!”  
“Because that was absolutely ridiculous! You guys went bonkers from all those eyes staring at you!”  
“Aaaaaand your point?” Alex asked, receiving a swat on the arm from Safi.  
“Why’d you hold out that long?” Mari asked.  
Safi and Zara shrugged. “I wanted to win.”  
We didn’t stay there long, since there’s only so much you can do when looking at empty rooms, and everyone started heading downstairs for the basement. I sighed, praying that Nate and the countries were down talking about the strange noises, and I followed my friends down.  
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, we found a completely underground basement with concrete walls and carpeted floors. Along the right wall was some tile, on which were a washer and a drier, and beyond that was the equipment for heating the house, which is where we found Nate and the countries.  
“Hey there gallies!” Nate said with a grin. “I was just about to show these fellas how to work the heating stuff, but I suppose that if you gallies will be the ones living here then I should be teaching it to you!”  
We agreed and joined the countries. Looking around the room, I saw that the rest of it was empty, except for a fireplace on the far wall. That was confusing, since Nate was showing us the controls for normal methods of house heating. Mari noticed this too and asked him about him. Nate said that it was mostly for decoration, but could be used as a backup heating system if somehow both the natural gas heating system failed. Then Nate went back to showing us the equipment.  
“And Santa Claus can use it on Christmas!” Italy exclaimed happily.  
My friends and I looked at him. Italy was very childish true, but he was a grown man. Did he really believe in Santa Claus? I looked at the other countries, but they didn’t seem to share our confusion. I decided to question this, “Santa Claus?”  
“Of course,” England said simply. When he saw our faces, he asked, “You don’t believe in Santa Claus?”  
We shook our heads.  
The countries smiled knowingly at each other and then turned back to Nate.  
Nate went on to teach us how to use the equipment, but not many of us or the countries were listening. Safi was too busy keeping Zara from pushing buttons for either of them to pay any attention;  
“Safi, can I push the buttons?”  
“No Zara.”  
“Pleeeeeease Safi!”  
“I said no!”  
“Too bad! Ima do it anyway! Ow! Leggo!”  
Germany and Italy were in a similar situation;  
“Ve! I want to push the buttons Germany!”  
“Nein Italy. Stand still und listen.”  
“But they’re so pretty!”  
“Italy!”  
Alex, America and France were bored with all the techy talk.  
“*sigh* Why do we have to know this?”  
“Yeah! The hero shouldn’t have to learn anything!”  
“Oh mon ami, technology boring, no?”  
They started up a conversation about who knows what.  
England and China both looked very annoyed at all the noise everyone was making, and Russia just stood there, smiling happily.  
“I can’t hear a thing!”  
“Quiet down-aru!”  
“Vodkaaaaaaa,”  
Japan was quietly listening to Nate, but he was such a technologically advanced nation that he was probably only listening to be polite, although I did hear him mutter to himself something that I didn’t catch all of.  
“They wourd be abre to improve the system if they just *mumbling*”  
Mari and I were both listening, but there was a lot of noise going on.  
“How much of this are you getting?”  
“About half.”  
“Me too.”  
“Hopefully we’re catching different halves.”  
Nate either somehow didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he kept up his teaching undeterred. Once he’d finished his lesson, he finally showed us some instruction manuals. Good! At least we wouldn’t be totally in the dark. Then everybody went back up to the first floor.  
“Well, whaddya think of the house?” Nate asked us.  
The countries looked at each other and at us. “If you don’t mind,” England said to Nate. “We would like a chance to discuss this.”  
“Sure thing!” Nate said with a grin as he stepped out of the room.  
We all stood in a group as the countries talked about the quality of the house. I figured that they know better than I what a good house needed, so I just kind of zoned out for a while. I snapped out of it when I heard something that caught my attention.  
“Zere are no vindows in ze bazrooms, und ze locks are gut und strong.”  
“Excuse me?” I said, gathering the countries’ attention. “Why is that important? I mean, my friends and I are all girls, so why is it a concern?”  
The countries looked at each other for a second then they all looked at France.  
“Mr. France has a rong history of being, um, a peeping tom.” Japan said as if he wasn’t too sure of the term.  
“Peeping tom!” England exclaimed. “He’s a downright pervert!”  
I looked at France, who just sat there twirling his hair. “Guilty as charged,” he said. “Not that any of you ladies would mind I’m sure,” he took a step towards us that I guess was supposed to be seductive and said, “Why don’t we just skip the house and you girls can come and live with me?” He was looking us over.  
“Watch yourself,” I growled, going into protective mode. Aint nobody gonna looks at my friends that way. Nobody. “She bites,” I pointed at Zara, who bared her teeth. “She will taser you,” Alex patted her pocket suggestively. “She will shove a book down your throat,” Mari, being an anime now, pulled a thick Harry Potter book out of thin air. “She will scare you out of a love life,” Safi wore her scary face, which was actually quite effective. “And I’ll beat you to a pulp. And if you ever,” I grabbed his collar and pulled his face close to mine. “Ever, touch, look at, or even think of one of my friends in that way, what will we do Safi?”  
Safi said in her soft-yet-dark voice, which was actually terrifying, “We will take you to Switzerland, the neutral country, tie you to a tree in the middle of a forest, set the edges of the forest on fire so that you can watch the flames get closer and closer, until they reach you and you burn to death.”  
The scariest part? She thought of that off the top of her head.  
France’s eyes had gone wild with fear. He scrambled away from us and hid behind the other countries, who most of also looked terrified. Italy was hiding behind Germany. France screamed, “You are worse that Russia!”   
Russia laughed.  
It occurred to me that I may have overdone it, so I said, “But that’s only if you try something.”  
“I won’t try anything!” France wailed from his hiding place.  
The countries said nothing. They stared at us in fear. I was mentally facepalming. Great. Now instead of getting the house we were probably going to the insane asylum.  
Then they did the unexpected: They laughed! Most of the countries were laughing like they’d just heard the best joke ever. Even Italy was now laughing, probably only because he saw the other countries laughing.   
My friends and I stood where we were, frozen in confusion. Maybe we’d have to take them to the insane asylum.  
“What’s so funny?” Mari asked over their laughter.  
“We’ve never seen France so scared!” America howled, clutching his stomach.  
“You scared his Francy-pants right off!” England cried before laughing again.  
“‘EY! Zis isn’t funny you guys!” France yelled angrily, but no one paid attention to him.  
“He has always made advances-aru,” China said, who was trying to restrain his laughter but it wasn’t exactly working, “And he’s been told off and threatened before, but never like that!”  
“Ve vere vorried that you girls vouldn’t be able to protect yourselves,” Germany said. He wasn’t laughing but he did look amused. “but now ve see zat you can handle it yourselves.”  
My friends and I looked at each other. Had we really just dodged that bullet? Wow. Talk about lucky. Good thing too, because I’m too claustrophobic to be put in a straitjacket and have a fear of asylums. Once the countries had calmed down enough to talk normally again, they once again began to talk about the house. The difference was that now they were asking us about the house, how we liked it and stuff. We said that we liked it a lot and that we were just happy to have a place to stay. The countries then called Nate back in and they settled the deed on the house. “Alrighty!” Nate said happily. “When should I expect you to get the gallies moved in?”  
“Now.”  
Nate was taken aback. “Now?”  
“Yes, now.”  
“… Oh. Okay,” Nate said. “Well the house is yours now, so I’ll be on my way. Here are the keys, enjoy the house!” he called as he walked out the door.  
“We will!” Zara called after him.  
Everyone stood there looking at the empty house. Very empty.  
“We shouldn’t leave these girls in this empty house,” China said. “There’s nothing to do-aru.”  
“Vhat else can ve do vith zem?” Germany asked “You know where ve have to be soon… Oh nein,” he said when no one answered. “Nein nein nein! Ve are not taking zem zere! Zat place is crazy enough!...*sigh* Fine.”  
“Where are we going?” Alex asked.  
“Back to ze Vorld Conference hall.” Germany said grimly. “You are going to attend a vorld meeting.”


	5. We Go to a Meeting Well Sort of

“We’re going to a meeting! We’re going to a meeting!” Zara sang as she skipped along with us back to the meeting hall. “Skip with me!” she exclaimed and looped her arm through Alex’s, who skipped along with her arm through Alex’s who skipped along with her. They’d probably go for Mari, Safi and I in a bit, but for now they were content as a twosome. Some of the countries shared the same happy-go-lucky mindset, like America and Italy. They linked arms with Alex and Zara and they began to sing, “We’re off to see the wizard,” Well, at least the Americans did. Italy didn’t know the words, so he just said, “Ve, ve, ve,” to the beat. Russia watched them, smiling happily. France was looking at his reflection in his nails. The rest of the countries weren’t so at ease. They seemed worried about the meeting, like they didn’t think bringing us was such a good idea. I should’ve been offended by that, but they were probably right.  
It didn’t take us long to get there, since we’d been there only an hour before, but when we got there, we noticed something that we hadn’t noticed last night when we’d gone into the building. There was a sign on the door, and it said ‘Authorized Personnel Only’. When the countries saw it, they weren’t happy.  
“Scheisse.” Germany growled.  
“What’s the matter?” Mari asked.  
England answered, and he didn’t look much happier than Germany. “We’d forgotten the rules,” he said. “Humans aren’t allowed at these meetings, and I’m afraid that you are all quite human.”  
“I’m the ghost queen, so I’m not human anymore.” Safi stated, more to us than to the countries.  
“I’m a mermaid! But don’t tell me! I don’t know it yet!” Zara exclaimed happily, not caring who heard her. Then she pointed to me and said “She’s a ninja!”  
“… Uh, don’t ask just please don’t ask.”  
The countries stared at us. “Ooookay,” America said. “Are you guys skitzo like England?”  
“For the last time I’m not schizophrenic!”  
“She told you not to ask,” Mari said.  
“Vell you still cannot come in.”  
“Whadaya mean we can’t come in?!” Zara exclaimed. “We came all the way here and now you’re telling us that we can’t come in?!”  
“Zat’s exactly vhat I’m saying.”  
“How long is the meeting?” Mari asked.  
“Usuarry a few hours,” Japan answered, looking sad.  
“A few hours?!” Zara yelled. “But that’s like forever! Can’t we just go with you guys?”  
“Ve, yeah Germany!” Italy said, hugging the larger nation for emphasis. “Can the pretty girls come with us? Please pretty please with pasta on top?”   
Germany scowled down at Italy, not even bothering to attempt to shake him off. “Nein Italy,” he said. “Ze ozer countries vould have a fit. Besides, it’s against ze rules.”  
“Rules schmules!” Alex exclaimed, and Germany did not seem too fond of the saying. “We’re not going to wait out here for hours!”  
“Zen go back to you empty house,” Germany said as he ushered the other countries in.  
“Don’t worry dudettes!” America called after us. “The hero and his sidekicks will come back for you!”  
“Let us in!” Zara yelled, making a charge for the door. Unluckily for her, the door slammed shut just before she got there. She ran into the door and stayed there, plastered to it.  
“Oo,” I said, grimacing as I began to peel Zara off the door. “That has got to hurt.”  
But Zara recovered remarkably quickly and in the next instant she was tugging on the door with all her might. “Let us in!” she screamed, but the door didn’t respond.  
“Well, what are we gonna do now?” Safi asked.  
“We find a way in, that’s what we gonnna do!” Alex said, pounding a fist into her palm.  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Mari asked.  
“No. Now who’s with me?”  
No one responded, except Zara, who said, “I!”  
“The ey’s have it! Let’s ride!” Alex exclaimed and she and Zara marched off.   
Safi, Mari and I looked at each other.  
“We’d better-”  
“So they don’t-”  
“Yeah, let’s go.”  
“Lees!” Zara called. “Use your ninja skills to find a way in!”  
I frowned. “You do know that I’m not actually a ninja, right?” I asked. “If anyone’s a ninja, its Safi. She’s the flexible one.”  
“No.” Alex said firmly, grabbing me by the shoulders and walking me towards the side of the building. “You’re our ninja. Now use your super ninja powers to find a way in.” She gave me a shove.  
I stumbled a bit before I regained my footing. I sighed and wished that I really did have super ninja powers as I walked to the side of the building. I walked the length of it until I came upon a basement window, one of the old kinds that opened on a hinge. “I think this might work,” I called to my friends and they came over. I gave the window a shove near the top and the bottom popped open. The space was small, but it looked like someone could fit through.  
“I say Zara goes in,” Alex said.  
“Okay!” Zara exclaimed happily. She got down on her stomach and wriggled through the window feet first. “Woah!” she yelled as she suddenly dropped from view, followed by a thud, then “Ow! You guys didn’t say that the window was seven feet off the ground!”  
“Sorry, we didn’t know,” I apologized. “Go look for a door!”  
The sunlight coming through the window illuminated Zara as she popped up. When she left the direct path of light, she disappeared into the darkness.  
“Woah,” I heard Zara say. “It’s really dark down here-ow!... Oh… I found the stairs!”  
“Maybe we shouldn’t have sent the clumsiest one in,” Mari said.  
“Too late now,” I said. “Go up them and look for a door! But be careful!”  
“I’ll crawl!” Zara said, and I heard scuffling. “Hey! I found the door!”  
“Open it!” Safi told her.  
We heard a door handle jiggling and Zara grunting. “Erg!” It’s locked!”  
“Dang,”  
After more scuffling, Zara came back into the light, but she couldn’t reach the window. I stuck myself through the window headfirst up to my chest. I reached down for Zara, but I wasn’t far enough down to get a good grip, so I scooted in up to my waist. This gave me a better grip, so I began to pull Zara up. Then I felt myself begin to tip. “GUYS!” I screamed and I was quickly grabbed around the legs.  
“We’ve got you Lees!” I heard Mari yell.  
“Don’t let go or I’m gonna fall on my head!” I looked down and gulped. “Onto concrete!” I looked down at Zara. “Okay, can you guys lower me down a bit?” I felt my friends shifting around and my ankles were grabbed as I was lowered. Zara and I locked arms and I yelled “Okay, I’ve got her!”  
“Pull!” Alex yelled and I was hoisted upwards. I prayed that my pajama pants wouldn’t come off.  
It was a painful, difficult experience, but Zara and I were pulled up and out. I sighed and shook some dirt out of my pajama shirt. “Well that didn’t work.”  
“Is there another way in?” Safi asked. We looked around and Alex saw an open window. The problem was, it was on the second floor.  
“How are we going to get all the way up there?” Mari asked.  
“… Weeeeeeeeeell,” I said thoughtfully. “I have an idea, but you’re not going to like it.  
~~Mystery time skip :3~~  
“It’s a good thing you guys aren’t wearing shoes,” Mari grunted from her hands and knees on the ground. I felt bad about formulating a plan that involved poor Mari at the bottom of a pile, so I was in the same position to her left. On our backs stood Safi, Alex and Zara. They weren’t doing the best job of keeping their balance, and it was only about to get worse. If they were following the plan, Safi and Alex were joining arms, and Zara was putting her hands on their shoulders and her foot on their arms.  
“You guys ready for this?” Safi asked Mari and I.  
I looked at Mari, who nodded. “We’re ready,” she replied and we braced ourselves.  
“Okay,” Alex said. “One, two, THREE!” Zara stepped on their arms and they hoisted her up. Mari and I groaned as the weight on our back became less evenly distributed.  
“Woah!” I heard Zara say and knew that she was swaying.  
“Lean towards the wall! The wall!!” Alex’s strained voices shouted.  
“Zara if you fall,” Mari threatened.  
“Hey! I’m okay!” Zara yelled happily.  
“Just get up there!” I shouted, my arms starting to shake. A few seconds later, there was less weight on our shoulders, and Zara didn’t fall to the ground, so she must’ve made it through the window.  
“Come on Safi!” Zara called down. I felt Alex and Safi repositioning themselves, and I knew that Alex gave Safi a boost up and then she was the only one on our backs. She quickly stepped off, much to our relief, and we hoisted her up the same way she and Safi had lifted Zara, who held onto Zara’s waist and Safi hung out the window. Safi and Alex locked arms and Zara and Safi lifted Alex up. As she was pulled up, Mari and I positioned ourselves to catch her should she fall.   
When Alex was up, Mari got into position to lift me the same way Alex had lifted Safi. I shook my head.  
“But I’m stronger than you are,” Mari reasoned.  
“Which is why you’ll be more help up there than I will,” I pointed to our friends in the open window. “Lifting the last person is the hardest part. I trust you up there with them more than I trust myself.”  
Mari didn’t look sure about it, but she relented.  
I got into position and thought, Here we go. Mari’s skinny, so she shouldn’t be too hard to lift, and she’s tall, so I wouldn’t have to lift her for long, but I knew myself to be a weakling, so if we were gonna do this, we’d have to do it fast.  
Mari placed her hands on my shoulders and her foot on my arms. “Ready?” she asked me.  
“Ready.” I told her, then I called up to our friends in the window, “You guys ready?”  
“Ready!” Alex shouted, who was hanging out of the window.  
“Okay,” I said, bracing myself. “One, two, THREE!”  
I heaved upwards with all my might and was able to hold my position until Mari was lifted up. I stood under her as she was pulled up, ready to put myself between her and the ground.  
When she climbed up and over the window, she, Alex, Safi and Zara all looked exhausted. I was pretty tired too, so I yelled up to them, “Take a break! This is the hardest part! We’ll need all the energy we can get!”  
My friends sighed in relief and disappeared from view, probably sitting on the floor. I sat against a tree, rolling my shoulders. I really hoped that I wouldn’t get my arms yanked out of their sockets. That would be painful.  
After about five minutes, I got up and yelled to the window, “You guys ready?”  
My friends appeared in the window. They looked better, but they were still tired. There was little ambition in their voice as they said, “Yeah.”  
That wouldn’t do, that amount of energy, so I said, “Yeah?”  
My friends looked at me, confused, and said, “Yeah.”  
“Yeah?!” I yelled more forcefully.  
Then they caught on. “Yeah!”  
“Yeah?!?!”  
“Yeah!!”  
“YEAH?!?!?!”  
“YEAH!!!”  
“Let’s do this thing!”  
“Okay!” It was decided that Zara would be lowered because she’d be the easiest to catch, even though they had no intention of dropping her. Zara quickly put herself into position and she was quickly but carefully lowered down by Mari, Alex and Safi. She looked nervous at being held in the air, headfirst, (Who wouldn’t be?!), and yelled, “You’d better catch me if I fall!”  
“Wouldn’t think of doing otherwise” I shouted back as I reached for her arms. It wasn’t the best grip but it’d have to do. Soon I was being lifted off the ground. I clung to Zara with a death grip and kept very still while we were pulled up. Our hands were very sweaty and it was all Zara and I could do to try to keep our grips.  
After what seemed like forever, Zara cringed as she was pulled over the edge of the window. Now that she was up, more hands grabbed my arms and I too was dragged over the edge of the window. I would’ve faceplanted into the floor if my friends hadn’t caught me first.  
We all fell into a heap on the floor, gasping for breath and massaging our strained arms. Eventually, I said. “Great teamwork guys. The hard part’s over.”  
“Now the fun begins,” Alex said as she smiled mischievously. “Come on!” She got to her feet and yanked Safi to hers, which must’ve been torture on their arms. “Let’s go see what’s so secret about this meeting.”  
~~~~~~~~Squigles~~~~~~~~~  
Now, we’d been in the World Conference Hall before, but we hadn’t had a chance to look around. All we knew was how to get from the front door to the meeting room and to one bathroom. The rest of the rather large building was a mystery, and it was ours for the exploring!  
Carefully we picked our way through the numerous halls, being as quiet as our loud group could be. Sadly the building wasn’t as interesting as we’d hoped it to be.  
We heard voices. They were coming from further down the hall.  
Mari started freaking out in a whisper, “What’re we gonna do?! What’re we gonna do?!” She was scared into illiteracy. Safi looked like she was gonna start freaking out too.  
“Quick!” Alex said quietly as she opened a janitor’s closet. “Everyone inside!”  
I wasn’t too thrilled about the idea, but I followed my friends into the small, dark room and Alex shut the door behind us.  
Putting us in a small room together is not smart. Putting us in a dark room together is not smart. Putting us in a small, dark room together is really not smart.  
“Ow! Get off my foot Zara!”  
“Hey! Move over!”  
“Okay, who’s touching me?”  
“That is not my hand.”  
“Shh!” Alex hissed at us. “They’re coming!”  
We all became very quiet and very still. It was a miracle. We could hear footsteps approaching.  
“I swear I heard someone down here!” said a man’s voice with an Italian accent like Italy’s except not as high and definatly not as happy.  
“Oh, come on, mi amigo” said a man with a Spanish accent. “You’re just imagining things.”  
“I am not imagining things you d*** flamenco dancer!” said the Italian. “I heard someone down here, and it sounded like girls.”  
“Chicas?” said the Spaniard. “You have chicas on the brain, man. I raised you well.”  
The Italian told the Spaniard to shut up in a ride way and then said, ‘Come on, let’s go find my idiot brother. He’s probably with that potato b****** again.”  
We listened to them walk further and further away until we could hear them no more, then we let out our breath.  
“What was that all abou-?” Zara started to say but was interrupted by me when something brushed across my forehead.  
“WAH! Something’s on my face! It’s a spider! GetitoffgetitoffGETITOFF!!!”  
“LEES!” Mari shouted and suddenly the room lit up. “It was just the chain for the light bulb.”  
“… Oh.”  
“Hopefully the entire building didn’t hear you,” Alex said.  
I sighed and slunk to my knees, embarrassed, but while I was down there, something caught my eye. A box had slid out from beneath a shelf in our scuffle. It was filled with books, but it had so much dust on it that I couldn’t tell what they were about. I picked up a book and wiped off the cover to see a great big pair of-  
“OMIGOSH EW!” I yelled. “Safi! Virgin eyes! Oh gosh virgin eyes!” I slammed the book face down on top of the others, which did not help because the back had pictures on it too and they were not covered with dust. I averted my eyes.  
“What is it?” Safi asked, her hands over her eyes.  
“Dirty books,” I replied flatly.  
Safi didn’t quite get it. “So…they’re dirty. So what?”  
“No Safi,” Zara said. “Not dusty dirty, dirty dirty.”  
“… Oooooooh,” Safi said, not removing.  
“Whose are THOSE?” Mari asked, keeping her distance from the box. No one said anything for a second, then Mari kicked the box to Alex. She was the least sheltered one of us, and she had enough courage to look for a name.  
Alex rolled her eyes. “A guy’s,” Alex said bitterly as she looked for a name on the book. “Or a lesbian’s…possibly. I just hope that this isn’t a reflection of the world we’re in.” She peeked inside for a split second, but then quickly shut both the book and her eyes. “Oh gosh,” she said. “It’s really kinky too. That’s just disgusting.” She sighed. “And there’s no name on it.” She put the book back in the box. “Let’s just pretend it never happened.”  
“Agreed.” We said. Safi uncovered her eyes as Zara kicked the box back under the shelf and walked over to the door to put her ear against it. Everyone was quiet as she listened. “I don’t hear anything,” she said after a while. She turned the knob a little, but stopped when I said, “Wait. Let’s shut off the light first.”  
Mari reached up and yanked on the cord, once again plunging the closet into darkness. Zara then slowly turned the doorknob and poked her head out and looked down the hall both ways.  
“Coat’s clear,” she said.  
“… Coats?” I asked as we opened the door and stepped out of the closet.  
“Coat’s clear?” Safi giggled. “Who even says that?”  
“I don’t know!” Zara laughed.  
“Shh! You guys!” I said, trying to hold back giggles. “Y-You’re gonna get us caught!”  
Mari was smiling hugely and giggling. Oh no, if this continued, we’d go into an all-out laugh-attack and then we’d most definitely be found.  
Alex must’ve realized this too because she bit down her own laughter and said “Come on guys, we gotta keep moving.”  
We did the best we could to stifle our laughter and followed her down the hall. We found a room that was under construction. Nothing was very interesting about it, being that there were no power tools, paint or hammers around, and we were turning to leave when Zara said, “Wait.”  
We followed her pointed finger to a square hole in the wall. It was an air vent with the guard taken off. The vent was large enough for a person to crawl through…  
“… Oh no,” I said, realizing what Zara wanted to do.  
“Oh yes!” Zara said and she grabbed me in a burst of adrenaline and was able to shove me into the vent.  
“Zara I don’t want to do this!” I said, wriggling backwards.  
“Too late Lees!” I heard Zara say. “I’m already in the vent!”  
“So back out!” I countered, continuing to wriggle backwards, but I stopped when I felt something crawl over the sole of my bare foot. “EEP!” I squeaked and I shot forward through the vents in record speed. I only stopped when I came across a vent guard that was beneath me and revealed that we were in the ceiling vents, of this room anyway.  
I paused too long to look through it, for I soon felt something crawl over my foot again. “DON’T!” I squealed as I crawled quickly over the guard. Once I was on the other side, I curled myself into a tight ball and was able to reverse myself so that I was facing the person behind me. “Don’t do that!” I shouted.  
Zara laughed at me. “It was so funny though!” she exclaimed.  
“Yeah yeah.”  
Zara began to crawl over the vent. “Scoot back so I can turn around too,” she said and I complied so that she turned around the same way I had. Once she’d turned around I crawled half-over-half-beside her so that I could see the guard again. Mari crawled into view from across the vent, followed by Alex and Safi, who crawled on top of her in a similar fashion. We were all looking at the vent, but Safi said, “Shh! Someone’s coming!”  
We were all quiet and sure enough, we could hear footsteps approaching. Soon, we saw someone open the door and walk into the room. He looked about 19 and had shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes, wore a green sweater over a white dress shirt, green tie and dark pants and he was holding a bunch of papers and was looking through them. He did so frantically, and he had this nervous feel about him. Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing and looked around. “H-Hello?” he asked in an accent I didn’t recognize. “Is someone there?”  
None of us moved a muscle.  
“M-Mr. R-Russia?” he asked becoming even more nervous.” Is th-that y-you?”  
That gave me an idea. I looked at my friends, allowing myself a mischievous smile. They saw my smile and knew what I meant by it and they nodded, grinning eagerly.  
I cleared my throat, preparing my Russian accent, which I happen to be very proud of, remembered the pitch of Russia’s voice, and said in my best imitation, “Da, eet ees me, Russia. Who ees being dere?”  
My voice reverberated through the vent, so the guy couldn’t tell which direction my voice was coming from.  
“It’s me, Lithuania,” the country said. “M-Mr. Russia? You’re voice sounds different.”  
Shoot, I thought and said, “Da Leeduania, I believe I am coming down weed a cold.”  
“Oh.” Lithuania said. “I’m sorry to hear that. Where are you?”  
I choked a bit. “Er, um I am being een de oder room, but please to not come een. I do not weesh Leeduania to be getting seeck as well.”  
“Y-Yes Mr. Russia,” Lithuania said. “Would you like me to bring you anything sir?”  
“Da,” I said, winking to my friends, who covered their mouths to stifle any giggles that may come. “I need you to be getting me some caramel yak*,” I began.  
Lithuania made a funny face. “Um, Mr. Russia,” he said. “I don’t think-”  
“I am not being finished Leeduania,” I said with a bit of a threat.  
Lithuania gulped. “Y-Yes M-Mr. R-Russia. Wh-What else?”  
“I am also needing deesposable slacks,” I continued. “A Mormon deesco ball,”  
My friends muffled their laughter, and I tried so hard to not laugh. “And,” I said, my voice raising an octave, which only brought my friends and me closer to an outburst. I cleared my throat, returning to my Russia-voice. “And, I need an oil painting of circus clowns storming de beach at Normandy!” I plugged my nose to prevent myself from snorting.  
Lithuania was sooooo confused, and it was SOOOOOO funny! “Um, is that all Mr. Russia?”  
“Da, I said. “Dat ees all. You may go now Leeduania.”  
“Y-Yes sir,” Lithuania said, still super confused. He went out the door, shut it, and his footsteps got further and further until they were gone.  
We couldn’t take it anymore. Our howling laughter filled the vents, reverberating down the metal tunnels, but we didn’t care.  
“Omigosh!” Mari cried, whipping away a tear. “That was amazing!”  
“Thank you,” I said, bowing with my head. “Now can we keep going? I don’t like being in here much.”  
“Okay,” Zara said, still giggling wildly. “You’ve earned it.”  
I grinned, turned myself around and lead my crazy friends through the vents.  
~~Scrolling scrolling scrolling~~  
I soon found a vent hanging over a different room that was large enough for us to drop through. I took off the guard, set it aside, and dropped to the ground. Once I was down, Zara came down after me. I had to partially catch her because her balance is so horrible, but we fell over into a laughing heap anyways. Mari came down next and laughed at us, as did Alex, and Safi smiled at us and said, “Oh Zara.”  
We were in another empty room, so we decided to move on. Still giggling and just enjoying ourselves, we walked over to the door.  
“Now we gotta be quiet you guys!” I giggled hysterically at tem, trying to shush them but giggling every time I tried. I opened the door to lead the way out. “We don’t wanna get-” I stared down the barrel of a gun. “-in trouble.”  
The person holding the gun was a short young man of about 18 with choppy blond hair in a chin-length bob cut and dark flatly-colored mint-green eyes. He wore a green camouflage-print hooded jacket with a brown shoulder strap and dark pants. He did not look happy. “Who are you girls?’ he asked in an accent I did not recognize. “What are you doing in here? Don’t you know zat zis building is restricted?”  
“Yes,” Zara said before anyone could stop her.  
“Zen you’re knowingly trespassing!” He said, getting angrier.  
“Svitzerland!” Someone yelled in an accent that was similar to Germany’s but more proper-sounding. “You know zat veapons are restricted in here!” He came into view and noticed us. He had violet eyes and somewhat wavy brown hair, with a wild strand. He wore a deep blue suit with a white dress shirt and frilly neck thing. “VHAT ARE ZESE GIRLS DOING IN HERE?!” he spazzed.  
“That’s what I was trying to find out when you showed up Austria! You’re always butting in on my business!’  
“Zat’s because you can never do anyzing right! Und it’s all of our business if zey’re in here!”  
The two of them were too busy arguing to notice us anymore, so I looked at my friends, jutted my head to the side, and we slowly started to sneak away. They didn’t so much as look in our direction so we went down the hall and rounded the corner with ease.  
“Dodged that bullet!” I said, breaking into a run. I looked over my shoulder at my friends, who weren’t running. “Come on guys!” I called. “Let’s go!”  
“Lees! Look out!” Mari yelled.  
I turned my head back around just in time to slam face-first into something large and hard. The force of the impact knocked me backwards onto my butt. I shook my head to clear it and said, “Hey! Watch it ya-” I looked up to meet a pair of sky blue eyes. They were NOT HAPPY.  
“… Oh,” I said after a pause. “Guten tag Germany.”

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYbVpAwGGGs


	6. He made me mad

Germany scowled down at me, seemingly unfazed by the fact that I’d just slammed into him. Like I said before, he did not look happy. “Vhat are you doing in here?!” he yelled at me.  
I crossed my arms and scowled back from my place on the ground. “You didn’t really think we were gonna just wait outside for hours, did you?” I countered. “I mean, it is us. We’re gonna find a way in.”  
The big angry German was just about to yell something back, but he was interrupted by Austria yelling “Germany!”  
The Austrian spazz stalked up to Germany, maybe even more pissed off than the later, if that was possible. “Do you know somezing about zese human girls being in here?!”  
Germany facepalmed. “Yes Austria,” he growled. “Ve found zem, zey know our secret, unt zey vere supposed to vait outside!” Germany removed his hand and glared at me.  
I very childishly blew a raspberry at him. Then I felt hands under my arms and I was dragged away. I twisted around to see Safi with my left arm and Mari with my right arm.  
“Come on Lees. We don’t want to make the blissed off German any more blissed off do we?”” Safi reasoned, using her own personal lingo.  
“I’m not afraid of him!” I struggled a bit.  
“We know Lees,” Mari said. “You’re not afraid of anyone. That’s why we have to step in and be your common sense.”  
… Yeah. They were probably right. So I let them drag me back over to Alex and Zara.  
Germany and Austria had missed this whole exchange because once Germany had said, “Zey know our secret,” Austria had screamed “ZEY KNOW OUR SECRET?!?!?!” and had started spazzing out at Germany.  
Being the bipolar weirdo that I am, I felt sorry for the angry German who’d just been yelling at me a moment ago. Austria seemed like a nuisance. Then I saw that Switzerland still had his gun pointed at my friends and I switched again. I stood up, and forced the gun upwards so that it was not pointed over our heads. “Don’t shoot my friends.”  
That pissed him off. He pressed down with his gun, fighting against my upward thrust, looking like he wanted to shoot me, when Mari stepped in. “What our friend means to say is that we are no threat and we’d prefer not to die today.”  
Switzerland blinked. “Die?” he asked, then his face changed to realization. “Oh yeah. Humans aren’t immortal.” He looked reluctant about it, but he lowered his gun.  
“Immortal?” Safi asked.  
Switzerland nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Zere isn’t much zat can kill a country. England’s taken both a rocket and a shooting star to the head.”  
“How did that-” I started to say, but I was interrupted.  
“Yup! That’s right!” Zara said overenthusiastically. “No immortal countries here! Just us humans!”  
“Exactly!” We turned to see a still mad Austria marching up to us. A tired-looking Germany followed him. “Humans cannot know our secret! Zey are not trustvorzy!”  
“Hey!” Alex protested “We’re very trustworthy!”  
“Zen vhy didn’t you stay outside like you vere told?” Austria countered, shifting his glasses.  
“Because we can’t wait for that long!”  
“Zere! You just admitted to not being able to do as you are told!”  
“Hey hey HEY!” a familiar voice said, and everyone turned to see America racing towards us, trailed by the other countries we knew. “Stop harpin’ on my citizens Austrian dude!” he said, putting himself in a dynamic pose between us and Austria, who took a step back in indignant surprise. America looked back at us. “Fear not dudettes!” he said with a grin. “The hero’s come to your rescue!”  
“America!” Austria yelled. “You are on zis too?!”  
“We all are,” England said, gesturing to the other countries who knew us.  
“Vhat vere you all zinking?!” Austria spazzed. “Humans cannot be trusted viz a secret of zis magnitude!”  
“On the contrary,” Japan spoke up. “Quite a few other humans know our secret.”  
“Like who?!”  
“Our bosses.”  
Austria sputtered angrily, clearly taken aback. “Zey do not count!”  
“Wait, bosses?” Mari asked. “You guys are countries but you have bosses?”  
“Of course!” America replied. “Our leaders! Like Obama’s my boss right now.”  
“Oooooooh,” Zara said. “I get it!”  
“And if our bosses can be trusted,” England reasoned. “Why can’t these girls?”  
“Because…because…” Austria sputtered. “Zey’re children!”  
“Woah! Hang on! Back it up a second,” Alex said. “Okay, we are not children. We’re all adults in our country and that makes us full citizens of the world! We can be trusted!”  
“But how do five humans suddenly know our secret?” Austria asked, turning to the other countries.  
They explained what happened, and Austria had a hard time believing the falling from the sky part, but he eventually accepted the story.  
“I’m not so sure about you giving zem a house.” Switzerland stepped in. “What if zey’re gone tomorrow? Wouldn’t zat be an awful waste of money?”  
“But we don’t know if we’re ever going back,” Zara said, unusually un-peppy in her statement.  
The countries looked at us, some on sympathy, some in dread, some in both.  
“Ve! Don’t be sad bella!” Italy said as he glomped Zara. “You can’t be happy if you are sad!”  
Zara smiled, even though the Italian was probably squeezing the life out of her. “Okay!” she said happily.  
“Yay!” Italy exclaimed. He let go of her only to grab her hands and start dancing with Zara, who giggled and danced along. None of my friends were fazed. That’s just Zara. None of the countries seemed fazed. That was probably just Italy.  
“The point is,” Chine said, turning back to Switzerland. “We made permanent accommodations for them because we do not know how long they’ll be staying-aru.”  
Before anyone could respond, someone said, “I knew it!” It was the Italian guy who we’d heard while we were inside the closet. He had dark brown hair, olive skin and hazel brown eyes. He had a long wild curl on the side of his head, like Italy, but his was on his right. He wore a teal suit and a pink tie. “I knew I’d heard girls in here! I told you so!” he yelled in the face of the man behind him.   
The man had somewhat curly brown hair, green eyes and lightly tanned skin. He wore the sleeves of his whie dress shirt rolled up along with brown pants and a red tie. “So you did,” he said, not at all fazed by the rude Italian. He must’ve been the Spaniard we’d heard. “Now what are all these chicas bonitas doing in here?” He looked back at us. “Oh, excuse me, senoritas. Soy Espana.” He said with a deep bow.  
“Spain,” I said quickly to my French friends Mari, Alex and Safi.  
“Don’t speak Spanish!” the Italian protested. “I seriously doubt any of them speak your stupid language!”  
“Hablamos espanol!” I protested. “Ella y mi,” I pointed at Zara, who was still dancing with Italy. “And who are you?” I turned off the Spanish to ask the taken-aback Italian.  
“Ve! That’s my big brother Romano!” Italy said happily as he continued dancing.  
“Romano?” Alex asked, her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Never heard of that country.”  
Romano’s face became as red as a tomato. “Of course you have!” he fumed. “Haven’t you ever heard of the nation of Italy?”  
“Well yeah,” Alex said. “But he’s right there,” she pointed at Italy, who was still dancing.  
“Italy! Stop dancing already!” Germany snapped.  
“Ah! Yes Germany!” Italy snapped into a salute, to which Germany sighed. “To answer your-a question, I’m the Northern half of Italy, and my big brother’s the-a Southern half! My full name is Veneziano Italy!”  
Once again, before anyone could say anything, yet another person came in. It was Lithuania, his arms filled with stuff, and he scrambled up to Russia.   
When I saw what he was holding, I thought, Oh no,  
“Mr. Russia,” he said, trying to hold onto all his stuff. “I did my best to get the things you wanted. I looked up what a Mormon is and I made this disco ball,” He held up a disco ball with the Mormon symbol painted on it. “Some caramel yak,” He held up little chocolates stuffed with caramel that were shaped like yaks. “You can throw away these slacks when you’re done with them,” he held up a pair of slacks. “And here’s your painting.” And good gray grief he had an actual oil painting of clowns storming the beach at Normandy!  
America burst out laughing. “That’s totally from Black Friday Shopping Prank yo!” he yelled. “I didn’t know you watched American YouTube Russian dude!”  
“Do not be seelly Leeduania,” Russia said. “I deed not tell you to get dese deengs.”  
Poor Lithuania looked so confused. “B-But, you told me to,” he stammered. “Hey, your voice sounds better now, sir.”  
As if on cue, all the countries turned towards my friends and me.  
My face went hot. “Um,” I said, fiddling with my fingers. “We saw Lithuania while we were looking around, and he sensed that we were there. He thought maybe it was Russia, so I, um, I imitated Russia’s voice and told him to get those things,” I said quickly.  
“How did you do that?!” China exclaimed.  
“Well, I uh. L-like this: Leedu-” I stopped to clear my throat from its frightened squeak. “Leeduania I am needing dees and dat,” I said in my Russia-imitation voice.  
“Th-that’s the voice I heard!” Lithuania said, pointing a shaking finger at me.  
Russia walked over to me. Oh crap, I thought. Russia seemed nice enough, but something about him being at such a close range with me seriously set me off. I glanced nervously up at his face. He was smiling, so that was a good sign…right?  
“Dat is very good try,” Russia said, “But you need to speak more from de gut.” He tapped my stomach with his hand for emphasis, to which a bit back a squeak. No, I didn’t want him to know that I was afraid. I took a deep, shaky breath.  
“Dobroye utro. I am Russia. I am being pleased to meet you.”  
The other country’s eyes widened, especially Lithuania. Had I said something that Russia would find insulting? Did I go too far with the broken English? I gulped as I awaited Russia’s response.  
Russia’s smile got a little wider. “Dat ees much better!” he said, putting a hand on my head. He pressed down with an unbelievable amount of strength for such a casual pose, and I wavered under the great pressure. “You sound more like me now. Do you do oder voices?”  
I gulped. “Y-Yeah,” I stuttered. My plan to not show fear wasn’t working. “I do lots of accents, but not right now.”  
“Okay,” Russia said good naturedly, taking his pressing hand off my head and giving me what was probably supposed to be a small shove towards my friends, but it came out with a lot of force and my friends had to catch me. I clung to my friends, hating how cowardly I was acting but not being able to help it, and I trying to stop shaking.  
“Correction,” Mari whispered so that only my friends heard. “Lees is afraid of one person: Russia.”  
“B-But where were you?” Lithuania asked us. As upset as he was, I sensed some pity for me and my encounter with Russia. “I didn’t see you anywhere.”  
I looked at Zara; it had been her idea after all, and I didn’t wasn’t to take any more of the blame.  
“I found an open air duct,” Zara explained easily. “We decided to crawl through it and we found the room you were in.”  
“So wait, you were in the walls?” Lithuania asked, eyes wide and trembling like we were part of some sort of horror video game.  
“The ceiling actually,” Alex put in helpfully.  
“And, we are sorry,” Mari said and we added our earnest agreements. “We were just having fun; we didn’t mean to cause you trouble.”  
“Oh,” Lithuania seemed surprised. “I-It’s okay; I’m used to running errands and stuff like that.”  
After a long, awkward pause, France said, “Well it sounds like you ladies ‘ad an interesting two hours.”  
“Two hours?!” I exclaimed, looking at Mari.  
She checked her watch. “Yep,” she said. “We got here around noon and it’s two o’clock now.”  
“Wow.” Safi said quietly. “Time really flies when you’re dodging people.”  
“Which is why we need to get back to ze meeting,” Switzerland stated. “Humans or no humans, zere are still zings we need to discuss.”  
“I am not letting unqualified humans into our meeting!” Austria put his foot down.  
“Ve! Come on Mr. Austria!” Italy pleaded, latching onto the man. “Can’t the pretty ladies come with us?”  
“Austria?” Safi spoke up before Austria could reply. “You’re Austria?”  
The spazzy country looked down at Safi. “Yes, vhat’s it to you?”  
Safi’s eyes lit up. “Music.” she said wistfully. “I love your music! Beethoven was a genius!”  
Austria’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You like classical music?” he asked incredulously.  
Safi nodded, smiling. “Egmont, Sonata Pathétique, and Piano Sonata are my favorites.”  
My eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Wait,” I said softly, looking towards Germany, who once again had his face in his hand. “Wasn’t Beethoven Ger-”  
Germany looked up at me, head still in his hand. He gave his head the slightest shake ‘no’. It must’ve been a sore subject between the two, so I kept my mouth shut.  
“… Vell,” Austria said after a moment of thought. I guess it vouldn’t be so bad if zey came...”  
Safi beamed. “Thank you, sir.” she said politely. She grabbed Zara’s hand to ensure that she stayed quiet and polite.   
As everybody started heading for the meeting room. I shook my head and smiled. Leave it to the shy one to save us.  
Germany was about to protest, but he looked at my friends and I with a tired look, and sighed. I looked at him pitifully. We were a handful. Maybe I should apologize… Nah.  
~~Nanananana~~  
The countries lead us to the meeting room. It was a different room than the one we’d spent the night in. It was smaller and the table was shorter. The countries sat at the far end of the table, with Germany at the head. That made sense; he’d be good at keeping order. My friends and I sat at the other end. Because I was the last to walk in, I had to sit at the opposite end of the table. I sighed and took my place. Zara and Mari sat to my right, and Safi and Alex sat to my left.  
The meeting started again, but it wasn’t about anything interesting. My friends and I, having short attention spans, soon became very bored. Mari started drawing smiley faces with some paper and a pencil she’d found. Safi and Zara had found an old eraser and we were now flicking pieces of it at each other across the table. Alex was watching them intently, keeping track of how many erasers made direct hits.   
At one point, I saw Mari look over at Safi and Zara. She studied what they were doing before taking a piece of eraser for herself. She took her aim and fired. The eraser bit flew over Safi’s head and hit the dead center of the thermostat behind her on the wall. Safi and Alex slowly turned back to Mari, wide-eyed. Mari went back to drawing smiley faces, a self-satisfied smile on her face.  
I plugged my nose to hold back a snort. Mari was the furthest, most accurate flicker I’d ever seen. It was not smart to challenge her.  
Unable to take part in the eraser war myself, being perpendicular to them, I placed my palms on top of each other on the table and rested my chin on my hands. I let my eyes wander around the table, tuning out what the countries said, only focusing on their faces. Anime faces are so expressive! It must be hard to get away with a lie in an anime.   
Needless to say, it was entertaining to watch. My eyes landed on Germany. He sat across the long table from me, watching the other countries debate with stern silence.   
I studied his face… He was not bishie, I decided. In fact, none of them were. They didn’t have the Twilight-like, girly intensity signature to the pretty-boy manga characters. No, their eyes reminded me of moe, but they were adult men, which I’d never heard of.   
My eyes narrowed as I focused in on Germany, and I wondered… How would he look with a mustache? You know, a big bushy moustache, like some hipster at an art school party… Where’d that come from? I didn’t know, but I began forming a picture in my mind…  
“PFFT!” I couldn’t stop my outburst at the image my brain had formulated. I hid my head in my arms, trying desperately to make my shoulders stop shaking from the laughter bubbling up inside. Because I knew that I’d been heard, I kept my head down until I heard the countries continue on with their meeting.  
I was tapped on the shoulder. “Lees,” I heard Mari whisper. “What was so funny?”  
I bit my lip to keep the laughter from coming back. “Tell you later,” I whispered back.  
A few minutes later, my head still hidden in my arms, I heard the sound of a pencil tapping the table rhythmically. I looked up to see that the culprit was America, who was barely aware of what he was doing. That rhythm gave me an idea…  
“Ugh,” I groaned softly. “What, is that mysterious tapping noise?”* I asked in a deeper yet nasally voice, lifting my head a bit and talking only loud enough form my friends to hear.  
They looked at me quizzically.  
“Not over here,” I muttered, looking to my right. “Not over there,” I looked to my left. “Hm,” I turned back to the middle. After a pause, I said, “… Kindof… catchy.” I gave a sly smile as I looked at my friends.  
They got the message and grinned with anticipation.  
I took a quick look around again before starting to sing, “Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.”  
“Dumbledore!” Safi exclaimed quietly but giddily as I continued singing.  
After two more rounds, Mari started singing, “Ron, Ron, Ron WEAsley,” Along with us in a higher voice.  
Soon, after another round, Zara started singing “… Hermione… Hermione… Hermione, Hermione, Hermione.”  
“Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Oo!” Alex butted in like she was supposed to. “Harry Potter! Harry Potter that’s me!”   
We continued doing this for one more round, then Alex and I stood up from our chairs abruptly and everyone else stopped. We argued, “Snape!” “Harry!” nine times at a speed we’d never been able to accomplish back in our world, getting angrier and angrier, then Safi popped up between us and exclaimed, “Dumbledooooooooooore!”  
Zara strangely floated by behind us, saying, “Herrrrrrrrmione!”  
The whole thing was started up again by Safi’s “Dumbledore!” Then everybody did the same thing as before, except for Alex, who said, “I’m Harry Potter,” over and over again.  
We did this for two more rounds, before singing all together, “Singin’ our song, all day long at Hoooooooogwaaaarts!”  
“I’ve found the source of the tapping!” Mari exclaimed. “It’s a pipe bomb!”  
“Yaaaaay!” Alex and Zara said happily as Safi and I turned to each other. On an unspoken cue, we all made exploding noises and ducked under the table.  
The tapping had stopped, and we heard England say in a deeper voice, “Muahahahahahaha!” Oh gosh he was in on this too! This is great! I thought happily. He started tapping his pencil on the table again and sang, “Voldemort, Voldemort, oo Volde Volde Volde Voldemort!”  
“Wa dup wa wa wa! Wup.” I imitated the funny noise as I popped back up. The rest of my friends popped up also and we all started laughing. America was laughing too, and England had his hand over his face in a desperate attempt to keep his laughter silent. Italy was laughing too, though I doubt he know what was going on. Romano was scowling at anyone laughing. Spain laughed at probably our sheer silliness. Lithuania looked frightened and confused at why we were laughing. China looked just plain confused. Russia was smiling happily. France didn’t look like he quite got it wither, but he laughed a bit. Japan seemed confused also, but he had a small, amused smile. Switzerland didn’t look happy, Austria looked even less happy, but the person who was least happy was Germany.  
It occurred to me that our little happy fun time may have escalated in volume.   
Germany stood up abruptly, and everyone went silent. He walked around the table and began to stalk towards us.  
Some of the other countries tried to stop Germany, to reason with him into letting us off easier, but he took no notice of them and continued towards us. Towards me. I started it, I ended it, and now I was going to get it.  
I stood up, jaw set, shoulders back, ready to face him. No fear.  
The very angry German stopped right in front of me, glowering down at my face.  
I hated how much taller he was than me. I was behind by a good seven inches at least, but that didn’t stop me from forcing myself to look him in the eyes. No shame.  
Germany wavered for a moment, as if surprised that I was defiantly facing him, but then he decided that he didn’t care. “VHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he yelled at the top of his lungs into my face.  
I squeezed my eyes shut and grit my teeth, the force of his shouting blowing my hair out of my face.  
“CAN’T YOU DO ANYZING AS YOU’RE TOLD?!” Germany continued. “VE ASK YOU TO VAIT OUTSIDE FOR UND YOU FIND A VAY IN! YOU SEND SOMEONE OFF ON A VILD GOOSE CHASE UND YOU INTERUPT OUR MEETING! YOU DELAY OUR MEETING, CAUSE DISTURBANCES UND BRING IT TO A HALT! VHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!”  
Once he had finished, I opened my eyes to look at his again.  
He’d done it. He’d made me mad.  
My brain was formulating a thousand different comebacks; starting with ‘Are you finished?’ and ending with many swear words in many languages, including Elizabethan English.  
“Adaliz,” I heard my friends say behind me, but I thrust my palm backwards to silence them. I could handle him.  
I took a deep breath, No retreat, shut my eyes and screamed.  
“DON’T YELL AT ME!!!”  
The room was silent, but I didn’t dare to open my eyes yet.  
“THERE WAS NO WAY WE WERE GOING TO WAIT OUTSIDE FOR THAT LONG!” I continued. “WE ALREADY APPOLOGIZED TO LITHUANIA AND WE DIDN’T MEAN TO INTERUPT YOUR MEETING! WE DIDN’T TRY TO DELAY ANYTHING, I DIDN’T MEAN TO LAUGH OUT LOUD AND WE STARTED SINGING BECAUSE WE WERE BORED! AND ABOVE ALL, I’M SORRY!”  
I opened my eyes and met Germany’s, daring him to shout again.  
Germany’s anger had left his face to be replaced by complete and utter shock. “… Did…you just say…you’re sorry?” he asked incredulously after a long pause.  
I gave a nod. “Yes.” I said simply. “I said I’m sorry.”  
Another long silence ensued, in which I kept myself neatly calm and composed.   
Germany stared at me as if he still didn’t believe that he’d heard me right. “… I…except your apology.” He said, not at all sure of what he was saying.  
I gave another nod. “Thank you.” I said, then I turned on my heel to face my friends, who all looked shocked but were also suppressing smiles. “I suggest that we go outside and wait for the countries to finish their meeting.” I said simply.  
After yet another pause, my friends nodded and we proceeded to exit the meeting room in complete silence. We went down the halls and out the main entrance of the building. We filed outside and I shut the door behind us.  
The silence broke. We all fell into a laughing heap in the grass.  
“Did you see his face?!”  
“I know! He was all like, ‘OMIGOSH I GOT TOLD OFF BY A GIRL!’”  
“It was so great! And the apology just made it that much better!”  
“He was sooooo surprised! I doubt he’ll ever yell at you!”  
“He’d better not!” I laughed. “Or I’ll just do it again!”  
This made us fall into a laughing fit again. I’d gone from being super mad to laughing my butt off. Cool.  
~~BATMAN!~~  
“Red rover red rover let Zara come over!” Alex and I chanted in unison. That’s right. We were playing Red Rover like a bunch of elementary kids. But honestly, who cares?  
Zara ran, yelling hysterically at Alex and I. She didn’t break our arms apart, but she pushed us with enough force to make us fall down on top of her. We laughed in our tangled up heap and Safi and Mari laughed as they came over to untangle us.   
Just then, the countries came out. They were all very quiet, like they were still in shock. The countries we’d only met today, Romano, Spain, Lithuania, Switzerland, and Austria all left without a word, leaving us with the first eight countries. They stared at us and we stared at them. Germany watched me with an unreadable expression.  
I smiled and got to my feet. This couldn’t get any more awkward than it already was, so I decided to do what I could to end it. I walked right up to Germany. We stared at each other for a few second, then I said, “Hey,” and held out my hand. “No hard feelings?”  
Germany stared at my hand, as did the other countries. What would he do? Would he start yelling at me again? Would he reject my peace offering? Then he took it. “Nein.” He said, giving my hand a firm shake. “I must admit,” he continued. “I’ve never quite had an encounter like zat before.” In his eyes I saw a newfound respect for me, as if he’d silently said, ‘Well played.’  
I smiled.

*THIS IS FUNNY EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A HARRY POTTER FAN…LIKE ME!!!  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4


	7. Hide&Seek

Thankfully, the awkwardness was gone now. I hate awkwardness. It’s so…awkward.  
“Well,” America said. “What do we do now?”  
After another long pause, which only brought more awkwardness, Zara suddenly did the unexpected (well, unexpected for a normal person, expected for Zara) and screamed “HIDE!”  
Not hesitating for even a moment, my friends and I spun 180’s and ran at top speed for the nearby woods. Now, I know that you’re not supposed to look back, but I did anyways. The countries hadn’t moved from where they stood, no doubt frozen in shock. Good! This would give us a good head start!   
In case you didn’t get any of that, we had decided to play hide & seek, (no we don’t care that we’re too old for it), and we hadn’t exactly told the countries. Heck, we hadn’t told the countries at all!  
Because I didn’t want to trip and fall and fail epically, I turned my head back around and grinned hugely as my friends and I sprinted for the woods.  
Zara’s POV  
Yay it’s time to play hide and seek! Gotta find a place to hide! Gotta hide gotta hide gotta-birdie! I looked up and saw a fat little white bird sitting on a branch. It was really loud and annoying, saying, “CHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAP!” over and over again!  
“Shh!” I said, holding a finger up to my lips and shushed very loudly. “Don’t give me away!”  
“CHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAPCHAP!” the bird kept going on and on and on. It didn’t even stop to listen to me! “Hel-lo? Rude!” I said, but the annoying bird kept making weird noises, so I decided to ignore it and to keep going.   
I looked around for a place to hide, but there was nothing good! I was just about to yell for Safi when I noticed that my sock was wet. I looked down and saw that I’d stepped into a small pond. Perfect! I could hide in here! So I jumped in.  
“Brr!” I exclaimed, shivering a bit. I was about to go hide underwater, but then I remembered that I wouldn’t be able to breathe anymore. Dang! I wish I really was a mermaid! How cool would that be?! But sadly, it wasn’t true, so I’d have to use my smarticles instead. I looked around the pond and found some of those hollow reeds that cartoons always breathe through in cartoons! Perfect! I plucked up one of the reeds and stuck in my mouth. It tasted funny. I tried to breathe through the reed, but it was like breathing through a skinny straw! I spat the reed out. What was I going to do now?  
Just then, I heard the countries making their way through the woods. They were getting closer by the second.  
Oh crap! They’re here already! I panicked. I took a huge gulp of air and ducked under.  
I don’t know how long I was under for, but it seemed like forever. My lungs were about to burst, so I had no choice but to come up for air. I sprang to the surface, sputtering and splashing. It occurred to me that if I’d have been quieter about it and I might’ve been able to stay hidden… OH WELL!  
I coughed and rubbed the water from my eyes. The first thing I saw was Italy leaning over the edge, looking at me with those weird closed eyes of his and a goofy smile on his face. “Ve! I found you bella!” he said happily.  
I don’t know why he kept calling me Bella, cuz I’m pretty sure my name’s Zara… Of course I could always be wrong. “Not until you catch me!” I yelled, paddling away.  
Italy reached out to touch me, but his coordination (BIG WORD!) must’ve been as bad as mine because he fell right into the water! “Ve! Help me! I’m-a drowning!” he screamed, floundering around in the water, arms waving spasmodically.  
“Italy!” I giggled, paddling over to him. “Just stand up!” I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to his feet. The next thing I knew, I was holding him Scooby-Doo style. I couldn’t believe that I’d been able to hold him! I mean, he’s a pretty small guy, but I’m such a weakling! It’s a miracle!  
“Ve! You saved me! Thank you bella!” Italy said happily.  
I was confused for a minute. I didn’t do much… “Yeah… You’re welcome!” I said happily, grinning.  
Then Italy leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear. “Bella?”  
“Yeah?” I said, not sure why I was answering to what was clearly not my name.  
“I caught you!” Italy declared happily, a huge smile spreading over his face.  
I sputtered. “What? No! I caught you!”   
Italy shook his head, still smiling. “But I wasn’t hiding!” he told me.  
“But… But…” I tried to come up with a comeback, but I got nothing. “Okay fine,” I said, sticking my tongue out at Italy.  
“Yaaaay!” Italy said happily.   
I tried to let go of Italy, but he clung onto me all the same. So I shrugged it off and walked out of the pond. As soon as the water was beyond my waist, my weakness returned. “GAH!” yelped, unable to keep upright. I tripped under the sudden weight, dropping Italy and we both went tumbling into the muddy brush. The miracle was over. It occurred to me that maybe my sudden super-strength could have come from being in the water… Nah.  
“Ve! Are you okay bella?” I heard Italy say and then I saw his head pop up above some brush. He had mud on his face and two twigs sticking out on both sides of his head like antlers.  
When I saw this, I began to giggle.  
“What are you laughing at bella?” Italy asked, making a very cute confused face.  
“Y-Your hair!” I said, my giggles turning into laughter. “You have antlers!”  
Italy put up his hands and felt the twigs in his hair. “AAAAAAH!” he screamed and began running around, yelling, “I’ve-a turned into a deer! I don’t want to be a deer!”  
“Italy!” I laughed, getting up and yanking the twigs out of his hair. “It’s just sticks, see?”  
Italy looked at the sticks with closed eyes. “Ve!” You’re right bella!” he said, then he looked at me. Strangely, he started laughing.  
“What?” I asked, confused.  
“You look like a unicorn!” Italy laughed and pointed at my head.  
I walked over to the pond and looked at my reflection. Then I started laughing along with Italy. There was a twig in my hair, sticking strait out of the middle of my forehead. I did look like a unicorn!  
“Come on Italy,” I said when our laughter had ended. “Let’s go find the others. I betcha they haven’t even been found yet!”  
“Ve! Okay!” Italy said happily, linking his arm through mine and we skipped off through the woods together, laughing all the way.  
Safi’s POV  
I knew that we probably should’ve told the countries where we were going, but that’d take away from the fun!   
Anyway, I was determined not to be found. So I ran around looking for a good place to hide. I love trees, so naturally I was looking for a hiding spot that was tree-related. I wasn’t having a whole lot of luck, and I was just about to give up, but then I found the spot. It was a large oak tree, with very big branches. A ways off the ground, the tree had a great big hole in it.  
I grinned at the hole. Yes! I grabbed one of the low-hanging branches and swung myself up onto another branch. From there, I climbed up to the hole in the tree like an epic ninja-cat. I looked into the hole. It wasn’t as big as it had looked from on the ground, but I could probably fit in. The hole was still a little way up; I had to jump op to grab the bottom edge of it. From there I pulled myself up and very carefully turned myself around and slowly began to lower myself into the hole. It was a tight squeeze, but not enough for me to get stuck. Because I didn’t want my arms pinned to my sides, I grabbed the edge of the hole and used it to push myself further down. Then my sock-feet hit the bottom of the hole. I looked down and frowned. My head still wasn’t in the hole.  
Before I could figure out a plan to hide my head, I saw the brush rustling in the brush a ways a way. I gasped and ducked my head, which probably didn’t hide it very well, but there wasn’t much I could do. I really hoped that whatever was in the brush wasn’t a bear, or a cougar, or some sort of evil forest dragon. A nice forest dragon would be fine, even cool, but not an evil forest dragon.  
I didn’t hear anything for a while, and I was about to raise my head to look around, but then I heard/felt something through the tree. Something was climbing it. It didn’t sound big and clunky like a bear, so I could rule that out. In fact, by the way that it climbed, it made me think of something more apelike. I really really hoped that some sort of evil forest gorilla was coming for me, or any gorilla really.  
I bit down on my lip and shut my eyes tightly as the thing came closer, and closer…  
“There you are!” I gasped, thinking, A talking evil gorilla! and looked up to see...not an evil gorilla.  
“China!” I said, letting out a sigh of relief. “You scared me!”  
China smiled a bit. “Sorry-aru. I didn’t mean to startle you, but I did mean to find you.”  
I didn’t ask why he had called me Aru; instead I smiled good-naturedly and began to pull myself out of the hole. When everything from my knees up was out of the hole, I couldn’t get out by pushing anymore. I reached for something to grab to pull myself out with, but my hands found nothing. Before I could regain my balance I started to fall forward. I squeezed my eyes shut and did the one thing I could do. I yelled, “HELP!”  
I was suddenly grabbed by the back of my shirt. “It’s okay!” I heard China reassure me. “I got you-aru!”  
I opened my eyes, which was a mistake. I gasped when I saw the ground far below me and I tried to scramble upwards and I grabbed the first stable thing I felt…which happened to be China. I blushed a bit, but I clung to him tighter still. I did not wasn’t to fall.  
“Don’t worry,” China said and his arm wrapped firmly around my waist, only making me blush more. “You’re safe now.” He bent over a bit to look at my face. “Are you okay-aru?” he asked me.  
I gulped, managing a nod, but not managing to look him in the eyes. “Y-Yeah,” I said. “I’m okay.”  
“Good,” China said. “Because I’m going to need you to hang on.”  
I looked at him, puzzled. “Why would I need to hang oAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!” I screamed as China leapt from the tree. I once again squeezed my eyes shut and waited to be dead, but after a bump, there was no more movement. Everything was still.  
“We are on the ground now-aru,” China told me. “You can let go now.”  
“… Are you sure?” I asked. There was no way that I was going to let go until I was absolutely sure that I was not going to fall anymore.  
I felt China suppress a chuckle. “Yes,” he told me. “You’re safe now.”  
I slowly, slowly opened my eyes, to see the ground under my feet. … Well, technically under China’s feet. I was still clinging on to him. Realizing this, I let go suddenly and stepped away, blushing madly. I looked down at my feet and noticed that I was covered in cobwebs, sap and rotten tree bark.  
China looked at me with a small, kind smile. He had his fair share of bark on him as well. “What were you doing up there anyway-aru?” He asked me, carefully pulling some twigs out of his ponytail.  
I swallowed, trying to suppressing my blushing as I raked my fingers through my hair, pulling out some cobwebs. “Playing hide and seek,” I said quietly.  
China cocked his head slightly. “Why would you do this and not tell us-aru?”  
I shrugged. “More fun.”  
“But how would we know to look for you?”  
“You looked for me.”  
China didn’t really have an answer for that, so after a while of thinking, he smiled at me. “Come on,” he said, jutting his head towards the woods. “We should go and find the other countries.” He grabbed my hand and led me in that direction, me blushing all the way.  
3rd Person POV, Alex and Mari  
Alex and Mari ran together through the forest. They were smart and had decided to stay together so that if they got lost and had to live in the forest for the rest of their lives cannibalism could be an option… JUST KIDDING! They just didn’t want to be alone in the woods while they hid, although they had discussed cannibalism before…  
“Hey! Look at that!” Alex said to Mari.  
Mari followed Alex’s pointing finger and saw a large group of big wild strawberry bushes. “Perfect!” Mari said. “That’s a great place to hide!”  
“Hide?” Alex asked Mari, a confused look on her face. “I meant the berries. I’m getting kindof hungry…”  
Mari rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Then I guess you won’t mind if I hide in there,” she said.  
“Are you kidding?!” Alex exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. “And ruin the strawberries?! I don’t think so!”  
Mari frowned. “But we need to hide from the countries!” she reasoned. “You don’t want to be found, do you?”  
“But I wanna eeeeeeeat!” Alex whined.  
Mari ignored her and began making her way into the bush, but she was grabbed by the scruff of her shirt and yanked back. She turned to look at Alex, who had a murderous look on her face. “I said,” she said. “Don’t. Touch. The strawberries.”  
Mari narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Do you want to go bro?” she asked.  
“I TOLD YOU YOU’RE BANNED FROM SAYING BRO!!!” Alex screamed. “It sounds so weird when you say it! You’re supposed to be a grammar Nazi!”  
“I’ll say what I want to when I want to!” Mari yelled back. “I’m going to hide in this strawberry bush, wreck the berries, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” She turned on her heel and marched into the bush.   
“NO!” Alex shrieked and tackled Mari to the ground. As they had in the meeting room during breakfast, there was an all-out brawl on the forest floor. It was very entertaining to watch, which is why America and England didn’t do anything at first.  
“… Should we stop them?” England asked America, not looking away from the girls.   
When the younger nation didn’t answer, England turned to see that America had his iPhone out. “Dude,” he said. “This is totally going on YouTube.”  
England got mad at America. “You git! You should at least ask their permission first!”  
America frowned. “Hey lay off English dude!” he exclaimed.  
“Delete that video immediately!” England demanded, reaching for the iPhone.  
“No! I do what I want biatch!” America countered, holding the iPhone just out of England’s reach, brutally reminding the Brit of his adversary’s height advantage.  
Soon they were in a brawl too. Eventually the two dust clouds merged into one, and noticing the close proximity of the others, everyone stopped.  
“What are you guys doing?” Alex asked, Mari standing next to her.  
England and America glanced at each other. “Nothing…” they said unconvincingly.  
Mari and Alex crossed their arms. “Boys,” Mari said like a mother talking to feuding children, secretly amused that the countries had failed to confront her and Alex about their fight.  
Before England could say anything, America pointed at him and said, “England was telling me what to doooo!”  
“What?!” England exclaimed. “You were going to post a video of them on the internet you bloody-”  
“Hey! You can’t tell America what to do!” Alex said, crossing her arms. “He’s great!”  
“Heck yeah!” America exclaimed, doing a fistpump. “My citizen is awesome!”  
Mari frowned. “You were going to post a video of us fighting? You can’t do that without asking!”  
“Actually, I can,” America said, holding up his iPhone. “I got the whole thing on video.”  
Mari’s voice began to get very red, and eyes reflected her murderous thoughts.  
When America saw this, he began backing away, being unusually smart for who he was. “Hey now,” he said. “We’re all bros here, right? Which is why you won’t mind if I post this, right?” Aaaaaand there went the unusual smartness.  
Mari was just about to launch herself at America, when England beat her to it. “I WON’T LET YOU!” the Brit screamed, once again engaging in a brawl.  
“YEAH! Go England!” Mari yelled, smiling in triumph. She grabbed a handful of strawberries and began chucking them at the American idiot with spectacular aim.  
“Ow! Ow! OW!’ America cried out as each strawberry hit him. He couldn’t block the offending berries for he desperately did not want England to win.  
“NO!” Alex yelled, jumping in and putting herself between the fighting countries and Mari’s strawberries of doom. When Mari paused to reload, Alex turned and kicked England in the forehead, sending him somersaulting backwards and into the brush.  
“HEY!” Mari screamed when she saw what had happened to the unfortunate nation. “You can’t do that to England! He’s too awesome!”  
“RUN!” Alex yelled as she dragged America into the protection of the strawberry bushes. She pushed him to the ground so that they were both on their stomachs in the dirt.  
Alex’s POV  
That was the last straw…berry. First Mari’d wanted to ruin the strawberries, then she’d told America what to do, then she’d wasted strawberries by throwing them at him! This means war!  
America looked at me strangely “What’ere you doing-”   
He was interrupted as I slapped my hand over his mouth. Hey… He’s kinda cute! But I’ll have to save my hot-guy knowledge for a later date. “Sh!” I told him before removing my hand to wipe some strawberry off his face. “We’re in the belly of the beast now, my friend. We have Mari as an adversary, which is never good-”  
“So what’re we gonna d-OW!” America exclaimed as he was hit with a strawberry.  
“I said sh!” I said again, silently apologizing to the strawberry for wasting it to get him to listen. “Now, as I was saying,” I continued, picking strawberries off the bush and therefor breaking my vow to do nothing to strawberries but eat them. “Mari may be a worthy adversary,” I turned and grinned evilly at America. “But so am I.”  
America stared at me for a moment, and then his face broke into an equally evil smile. “I like the way you work, shawty,” he said, trying and failing to pull off a gangster voice.  
I bit back a laugh at his epic fail, but smiling at the oddly complimenting statement. “All right then. For the USA, and strawberries! ATTACK!”  
Mari’s POV, a few minutes before  
Ohohoho, so Alex wanted a war, did she? Well then, a war she would get.  
I jumped into the bush, crawling around on my hands and knees, whisper-calling, “England! England!” I was just about to give up, when something came hurtling at me through the brush. I shrieked as we rolled around through the brush. I was soon pinned to the ground.  
“Got you Yankie!” England yelled from on top of me. When he looked at my face, his green eyes widened in horror. “Oh no!” he exclaimed as he jumped off of me, visibly startled “I-I’m so sorry love! I thought you were America!”  
I hadn’t moved from my spot on the ground. I was a bit frozen in shock from the close proximity I’d just been with the English man. Knowing that my silence was only making the encounter that much more awkward, I forced myself to sit up. “I-It’s okay,” I said, trying to keep my breathing from becoming unusually loud. “It was an accident.”  
There was a moment of awkward silence, then England said, “That bloody wanker! I’ll kill him! If he hadn’t taken that video this wouldn’t have happened!”  
I turned to look at England. He was sitting in the dirt with his head bowed, and he was visibly shaking with anger. “Why do you care?” I asked. The question was not rude, just honest.  
England raised his head to look at me, met my eyes and became extremely flustered. “I j-just don’t think it’s right. I didn’t want that wanker posting that video. Knowing how quickly the internet works, you two might become the next laughing stock of the internet. I didn’t want that to happen.”  
I looked at him for a moment, and then I smiled. “Well, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen then.” I said, fingering some nearby strawberries.  
England took a second to process what I’d said, and then he grinned an evil smile that could rival even mine.   
“Ready love?” he asked me after we’d loaded up. I nodded. “On three… One, two three-”  
Just then, America and Alex burst through the bush, Alex screaming,  
“ATTACK!”  
My POV  
In retrospect, my friends and I probably should’ve stayed together as a group. Then again, that would only make us easier to find. Of course there’s always the chance of me getting lost out here on my own… But I’ve watched plenty of Survivor Man and I’ve read the Hatchet books, so I’d be fine…although I lacked a hatchet…and a harmonica.  
ANYWAYS, being an experienced hide-and-seeker, I knew that the best way to keep hidden was to keep changing your hiding spot. So I walked around, looking for a spot to hide in that would hide me well but I could easily get out of without making much noise. Yes, I happen to be a very picky hider. Get over it. I finally found a place that I deemed worthy; a very large cedar tree. I smiled as I began to climb up the cedar’s rather large low-hanging branches, remembering the tall cedars at my grandparents’ house.  
It took me not long at all to reach a good height in the tree, which was a very good thing, because I heard someone moving through the brush. Quickly, I positioned myself in the tree so that the trunk was between me and the direction I’d heard the noises coming from. The noises continued and soon they turned into footsteps. They came closer and closer until they stopped right under the tree.  
I quieted my breath, closed my eyes and became very still, thinking, Tree, tree, be the tree.  
There was no noise for a long time. Had the person snuck away unnaturally quietly? I had to control my curiosity so that I didn’t move to look at who it was, or if they were even still there. If I hold still long enough, if they don’t see me, they’ll go away…  
“Vhat are you doing up zere?” I heard a familiar German voice say from directly below me.  
Dang! I sighed and turned to look down at Germany. It was funny to see him from above, a perspective I hadn’t had the pleasure of viewing. He looked straight up at me with a confused look on his face. “Well, I was hiding,” I said simply.   
Germany’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Vhy vere you hiding?” he asked.  
“Hide and seek, duh.” I replied, repositioning myself so that my back was leaning against the tree and I crossed my arms over my chest as I casually looked down at him. “And now you’ve found me.”  
After a long pause of neither of us moving, Germany finally said, “Aren’t you going to come down?”  
“Nope.” I replied simply.  
This only made the German more confused. “Vhy?” he asked.  
I smirked, partially at his accent, which I enjoyed hearing. “We play tag hide-and-seek. You have to tag me before I quit.”  
Germany frowned. “I am not coming up zere!” he stated firmly.  
My smirk turned into a real smile. “Guess I’ll have to run then!” I said. Before Germany could ask just how I was going to do that, and before I even knew what I was doing, I broke out into a run along the strong bow I was standing on. Relying on my speed and my bare feet to cancel out my natural incoordination, I ran down the length of the branch until it tapered to a width that would no longer support my weight, and I leaped.  
“NEIN!” Germany screamed, but I paid him no heed.   
Gasping, I forced myself to keep my eyes open as I flew through the cedar leaves slightly feet-first. My feet made contact with a branch and my hands grabbed onto one also. Then I was still. I look down to see that I was standing on the branch of a paper birch, my hands grasping another branch above my head for support. I twisted my head around to see where I’d broken through the cedar leaves, and I hadn’t lost hardly any height!  
My face broke into a huge, open-mouthed grin. How had I done that?! I’d never have been able to do that back in our world… That’s it! It’s this anime world! It lets the impossible become possible! THIS IS GREAT! I looked down at Germany, who was gaping at me with a shocked expression that only anime could produce. I laughed, partially at his funny face, partially in sheer amazement at what I’d just done. “That was amazing!” I cried out into the forest, then my eyes widened with an idea. “Let’s see if I can do it again!”  
Germany’s face changed from unconscious shock to conscious horror. “Nein! Nein! Don’t do tha-OH MEIN-!”  
“WOO HOO!” I yelled as I leaped to another tree, drowning out Germany’s (no doubt) swearing. This time, my feet didn’t make contact with anything, but my hands did. My momentum was enough to swing me up and around the branch like the gymnast I was NOT, yelling “WoahoahOAH!” and I landed with my legs on either side of the branch, clutching it in front of me. I broke out into another bout of laughter. “This is crazy! This is absolutely crazy!” I exclaimed to myself in sheer joy.  
“You’ve got zat right!” I smiled down at Germany beneath me. Ha! This tree had no lowing hanging branches so he couldn’t climb up to get me even if he wanted to! “Get down here before you fall und break your neck!” he yelled.  
“Hm,” I said, as if considering his command. “How ‘bout…no.” I stood up on the branch I was sitting on, using the tree trunk for support, and leaped to another tree.  
This ordeal carried on for a while. I’d leap to a tree, Germany’d follow on the ground and scream at me, I’d leap to another tree. It’s not like I was doing anything super-ninja; the trees in this part of the forest were perfect for this kind of thing, and as long as long as I didn’t think much about what I was doing, I always landed safely.  
After a few more minutes, my height had decrease to about ten feet above the ground, and Germany had stopped screaming. He did continue to follow me from the ground however, muttering to himself what were probably mostly threats in angry German. “Vhy do you keep jumping avay?” He stopped his muttering to yell at me. “Vhat are you doing?”  
“Whee!” I said, jumping to another branch then hung upside-down on it. If Germany had been closer, I would’ve been nearly eye to eye with him. “Trying to lose you.” I said simply, quickly flipping myself upright again and balancing myself on the branch incase Germany tried to pull me to the ground.  
Germany looked confused. “… Vhy?” he asked.  
“It’s how you play the game,” I said shrugging. “No offence or anything, but I have to be caught before I will come with you.” I jumped to another tree. “Although,” I said, gripping the trunk. “It is pretty slow going.”  
“Zen vhy don’t you give up?”  
“NEVA!” I exclaimed before jumping away again.  
Germany sighed. “You do know that you’ll fall eventually,” he stated oh so encouragingly.  
I looked down at him and shook my head. “Nope.” I said. “I don’t believe in falling”*  
Germany looked at me funny for about the hundredth time that day. “… I don’t zink zat’s how it vorks…” he said.  
I grinned. “Sure it is!” I said. “Watch this!” and I leaped. I really shouldn’t have said that because I misjudged the distance I slipped. I gasped as my feet didn’t grip the branch and I fell…almost. My hands caught the branch I’d tried to land on and I dangled there helplessly.  
“I told you!” I heard Germany running to me.  
Grunting, I tried to pull myself up, but it was no use. I dropped to the ground, my legs buckling and ended up with one knee and one hand on the ground. “I didn’t fall,” I said, my back turned to Germany as I dusted myself off. “That was a drop, not a fall. Drops are voluntarY!” I yelped as my shoulders were grabbed and I was spun around.  
“ARE YOU CRAZY FRAU?!?!?!” Germany shouted in my face as he shook my shoulders violently, my head whipping back and forth. “You could’ve been killed!”  
“Ubaduadubarga!” I tried to speak as my head continued its wild motions.  
Germany, realizing that I could not answer in this state, stopped shaking me to stare at me with a very angry face, but when I looked into his blue eyes and saw…concern.  
I smiled mischievously. “Were you worried about me?”  
Germany’s face turned to surprise, as did mine. Even I was surprised at my own cockiness! It must’ve been extra-high from my epic tree adventure because normally I wouldn’t have said anything like that.   
My face heated up, and I was about to try and somehow fix what I’d said, but before I could say anything, Germany looked away and muttered, “I…just didn’t vant you to get hurt. Zat’s all.”  
I blinked. I wasn’t sure what to say…so I smiled again. “Gave you quite the scare, didn’t I?” I said, giving into this newfound cockiness.  
Germany turned back to glare at me. He lifted one hand from my shoulder. “Don’t. Ever. Do. Zat. Again.” He said firmly, accenting each word with a poke.  
I blinked and flinched with each poke, but when he was done, Germany let go of my shoulders and I smiled once again. Aw, he does care! I thought to myself.   
“So you finally caught me,” I said aloud. This cockiness was kind of fun!  
Germany nodded. “Und I am going to make sue zat you don’t run avay again.”   
Before I could react, Germany grabbed my arms and threw me over his shoulder. “Oof!” I grunted as my stomach made contact with his shoulder. “Hey! What’s the big idea? Put me down!” I yelled, my face heating up again.  
Germany’s arm wrapped firmly around my legs and he started to walk. “Nein.” he said without looking at me.  
I sighed, blowing my hair out of my face. “Where are we going?” I asked.  
“To find your friends und ze ozer countries,” he said as we walked through the brush.  
“I’ve been caught you know,” I pointed out. “I’m not gonna run away again.”  
“Not taking any chances,” Germany stated as he continued walking.  
I sighed again as I propped my head on my elbow against Germany’s back, being glad that he could not see my small smile.

*Where I’d Like To Be, by Frances O'Roark Dowell. Great book! Real deep for being told by an eleven-year-old! Read it!


	8. FOOD

YOUR FACE IS KAWAII!!! ‘Ellos audience! *gets chased by Tobuscus and Pewdiepie* GERRRRRRRRRMAAAAAAAANYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Some of my favorite YouTube guys are chasing me agaaaaaaain!

So there I was, slung over Germany’s shoulder like some sack of potatoes as he walked through the forest. It was a little weird…okay, a LOT weird, being carried around like that I hadn’t been since I’d been a little kid, so you can imagine how strange it was as an adult.  
Gosh he’s strong, I thought. I was against his back after all; I could feel the well-developed muscles…  
My eyes flew open. No. No no no no NO! I wanted to keep my mind virgin! I knew that I was an adult so it was a little too late for that, but I try not to give into the sick-mindedness that was so stereotypical to our age group, and being carried by a big buff guy was not helping.  
“Put me down!” I shouted, squirming around. I didn’t want to be stuck in this position any longer.  
“Stop struggling!” Germany ordered, tightening his grip around my legs. “You’re only making zis harder!”  
“That’s kind of the point,” I said, pressing my hands against Germany’s back in an attempt to push myself loose.  
Suddenly, Germany released my legs.  
“GAH!” I exclaimed as I dropped head-first towards the ground.  
In an instant, my legs were grabbed again and my descent was stopped. However, my hips were now across Germany’s shoulder, rather than my stomach as before. This left me in a much more helpless position.  
My breath quickened from my sudden almost-trip to the ground. A fear had been reawakened, a long-forgotten fear that had dissipated as I got older and was held less, but now it was back. An old fear; a fear of being dropped.  
“Don’t drop me!” I shouted, hoping that I sounded more commanding than pleading.  
“I zought you didn’t believe in falling,” Germany said as he began walking again.  
My hands quickly grabbed the back of Germany’s shirt at the sudden movement. It was a desperate attempt at preventing me from getting any lower, but I knew all the same that if I really was dropped that my precaution would be futile. I just didn’t care. “I don’t,” I said, trying not to look down. “But I believe in dropping, which I really hope you do not do to me right now.”  
“I don’t plan on dropping you,” Germany stated. “As long as you stop trying to get avay.”  
I sighed in defeat. “Fine.” I said. “I’ll stop. Just don’t drop me.”  
“I von’t.”  
“Promise.”  
“…Promise? Vhy?”  
“Because I don’t want to be dropped.”  
“I’ve already told you zat I von’t.”  
“I know, and now I want you to promise.”  
After a pause, Germany sighed. “I promise.” He said. “Now vould you please let of of mein shirt?”  
“… Pull me back up.”  
“What?”  
“If you insist on carrying me, then at least pull me back up!”  
Germany sighed again, then he sort of bounced upwards in the way you would if repositioning a sack, sending me into the air.  
I gave a yelp and let go of Germany’s shirt to brace myself for impact, (because I thought that I was being dropped), but instead my legs were tugged on, pulling me so that my stomach was once again on Germany’s shoulder.  
I gasped as some air was knocked out of me. “Do you enjoy scaring the crap out of me?!” I asked him, although I sighed in relief at being in a much safer position. As long as I didn’t push against Germany again, if he let go of my legs I wouldn’t fall.  
Germany didn’t answer, and I sorely wished that I could see his face to try and guess that the heck he was thinking.  
“Ve Germany!” I heard a familiar voice say, and the next thing I knew, Germany was attacked in a hug.  
I gasped again as Germany’s balance wavered, but he didn’t drop me. I craned my head to try and see what was going on.  
“Italy!” Germany scolded. “Vhy are you soaking vet?!”  
“Lees!” I heard Zara say. My face began to get hot; I wasn’t exactly in a normal position right now.  
Zara walked into my line of sight. She twisted around so that her head was almost upside-down like mine. “What’re you doin’?” she asked innocently.  
I sighed. “Germany doesn’t trust me not to run away anymore.” I said softly.  
Zara giggled. “Ha!” she said. “It’s you for once and not me!”   
My face burned because it was true and said nothing. I noticed that Zara was dripping water, so that gave me something to say. “Why are you all wet?” I asked.  
Zara grinned. “Oh,” she said, “I hid in a pond.” like it was the most casual thing ever.  
My eyes widened. “You hid in a pond?” I asked.  
“Yes Echo!” Zara laughed. “And Italy fell in too!”  
I said nothing, listening to Germany grumble about being all wet now, and Italy had just hugged him. This sent me into a fit of giggles. Better you than me big guy, I thought to myself. “Have you seen the others?” I asked Zara aloud.  
She looked like she was about to say no, but then there was some rustling in the brush and Zara looked up to see what it was. I, sadly, could not.  
“I see Safi!” Zara exclaimed, running out of sight and no doubt to give her a bit wet hug.  
“… Lees?” I heard Safi say after she’d taken her sopping-wet glomp. “Is that you?”  
“Aiya! Germany, what’s on your shoulder!?” I heard China exclaim.  
I moved my right hand a bit in a weak attempt at a wave. “Yup.” I said unenthusiastically. “It’s me.”  
“What happened?” Safi asked as she came into view. She was covered in rotten wood and cobwebs and there was a leaf on her head, like she’d been attacked by an old, musty tree.  
“Leesy got in trooooouble!” Zara sang giddily as she skipped around Safi.  
“Zara I will gag you with a spoon!” I threatened, pushing myself up against Germany’s back with my left hand as I grabbed at Zara, only to miss with my right and loose grip with my left, resulting in me flopping back down unepically as Zara laughed.  
I growled a bit at my smallest friend before asking Safi, “So what happened to you?”  
Safi blushed a bit. “I hid inside a tree, off the ground.” She said. “China had to help me down.”  
Before I could ask for details, we heard more rustling in the brush. This time, I pushed myself upwards against Germany’s back with both hands so that I was half-planking, but I could see who was coming for myself.  
Out of the brush came Alex, America, Mari and England. They all looked like they’d gone through the Great Pie War*, only instead of pie they were covered in…berry juice?  
“Woah!” Zara exclaimed laughingly. “What happened to you guys?”  
Mari wiped some berry juice out of her eye. “Battle.” She said in a very serious tone.  
“Strawberry style.” Alex added, licking some berry juice off the back of her hand.  
Mari looked up and saw me, a puzzled expression on her face. “Why is Lees-?”  
“Dude! Hahahahaha!” America laughed obnoxiously. “What’re you doing on the German dude’s shoulder? This is so going on the interwebs!” and to my absolute horror he whipped out an iPhone and aimed it at me as if to take a picture.  
“NO!” I screamed, and in a sudden burst of strength I launched myself backwards and out of Germany’s grasp. If Germany hadn’t grabbed me again I would’ve landed flat on my back, but he did, so I was placed right back on his shoulder as before.  
Luckily England was now fighting with America for his phone, so my home country hadn’t had the chance to take an embarrassing photo of me.  
Soon after that, the rest of the countries found us. France, Russia and Japan came through the brush and joined the group.  
“Why is de leettle girl on your shoulder Germany?” Russia asked.  
Before I could say something along the likes of ‘I’m not “leettle”!’ France chuckled, “Ohonhonhon, you are in quite the vulnerable position, aren’t you, ma Cherie?”  
“France if you came anywhere near meI will personally see to it that you never have children!”  
Thankfully that was enough to keep him at bay.  
“Usuarry it is Italy-kun who is on Germany-san’s shoulder.” Japan said, walking over to me, tipping his head slightly to look at me.  
“Ve, you look funny lady!” Italy laughed cheerfully at me, following Japan’s example, except he bent himself almost upside-down.  
“Thaaaaaanks,” I said sarcastically, but of course Italy didn’t get my sarcasm and said. “You’re welcome!”  
“Do you guys have any more strawberries?” Zara asked the berry-war veterans randomly.  
Mari and Alex looked at each other. “I think we used them all as ammo.” Alex said.  
“Darn!” Zara exclaimed. “I’m getting’ hungry!”  
Now that I thought about it, it was probably getting close to supper time, we’d all missed lunch, and my stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Germany may have felt this, or he may have just been hungry also, because he said, “Maybe ve should get somezing to eat.”  
“Yeah dude!” America exclaimed as he fist-pumped. “Let’s all go to my place to eat yo!”  
“We do not want to eat your greasy fast food!” England retorted.  
America frowned. “Hey! It’s the grease that makes it taste so good, Englanddude!” And it’s better than your food any day!”  
Before this turned into an all-out brawl, Italy interrupted with, “Veeeeeee! I want pastaaaaa!’  
This only made my stomach rumble more. Pastaaaaa, I thought dreamily. It was my favorite food ever, and the fact that I was already very hungry made it sound that much more wonderful.  
America snapped his fingers. “I got it!” he exclaimed. “Let’s go to Il Pomodoro!” It’s an Italian restaurant at my place, and the food there is quality!”  
My friends and I all perked up at this suggestion. Il Pomodoro had always been one of our favorite places to go, but the food wasn’t exactly cheap, so we only went there on special occasions.  
Mari realized this and said, “Are you sure? That place is pretty spendy…”  
America made a ‘pfft’ noise and laughed. “Spendy?” he said. “I’m one of the richest frikin’ countries in the world! This is nothing!”  
Even though it was an Italian/American chain restaurant, the other countries seemed game. They must’ve been fairly used to eating other countries’ foods. So we headed off.  
“Uh, Germany?” I said before he had the chance to start walking. “My friends and I are going to a fancy restaurant in our pajamas, so we’ll be looked at weird enough, and I’m not Italy, so could you please put me down so that I don’t lose all of my pride?”  
Germany agreed and he set me back down on my feet. All of the blood that had flowed to my brain while upside-down now rushed back down to my feet and I suddenly became very dizzy. I probably would’ve fallen over if Germany hadn’t set a strong hand on my shoulder.  
“Whoa,” I said, regaining my balance. “Thank you.” As I started to walk off with the rest of the group, Germany kept his hand firmly on my shoulder.  
“Uh, Germany?” I said again. “You can, you can let go now.”  
“I don’t vant you running off again.” He stated.  
“… Really?” I asked, giving him a look, seriously wishing that I could cock my eyebrow like Mari.  
“Ja.” Germany replied sternly.  
I looked at him for a moment, then I sighed and continued walking.  
~~Hungry timeskip~~  
At only a block away from Il Pomodoro, we could smell the garlic and baking bread in the air. While I’ve always been told that garlic has an unpleasant smell, I’d grown up with strong Italian influences from my father’s side and so the smell had always been heavenly to me. And who doesn’t love the smell of freshly-baked garlic bread when hungry?  
When we walked through the door, the aroma strengthened and my mouth watered. The place had an Italian village feel to it, which I found very appealing. The building itself was not that large but there was a sort of second-story/balcony thingy to create more space.  
“Hello!” said the hostess. Her mouth smiled brightly but her eyes darted over me and my pajama-ed friends. “Welcome to Il Pomodoro!”  
“Ve! Ciao Signorina!” Italy said to the lady. “Table for thirteen, per favore!”  
The woman smiled and said, “Of course! Right this way!” She grabbed a bundle of menus and left her booth, motioning for us to follow. On the way to our table, she stopped to speak to some other workers. They walked ahead of us and went upstairs to the balcony-thingy. The hostess also lead us up the stairs, and we saw the other workers arranging seven small, square tables into one large, rectangular table. Our table was in a corner by a large window, which gave a great view of whatever city we were in. It wasn’t big like Minneapolis or anything, and there were no landmarks that I recognized, so I figured that we were just in some sort of medium-sized city in the US. Anywho, the view was wonderful.  
My friends sat down at the table, and Germany released my shoulder so that I could too. I sat with Safi to my left and Zara to my right. To Zara’s right sat Alex and to Safi’s left sat Mari. Alex and Mari still seemed a bit steamed form the strawberry war… Meh, they’d be better by tomorrow. They always were.  
“Your waiter will be with you in a moment.” The hostess stated, still smiling pleasantly, passing out the menus. “Enjoy your time at Il Pomodoro!” And with that she left us for her booth.  
I gasped as suddenly both my hands were grabbed and pulled behind my chair. I tried to pull free, but I was hopelessly outmatched in strength and something metal clicked around my wrists. I tried to move my hands, but they wouldn’t move more than a few inches. “What the-?” I said, yanking my hands harder, producing a clinking-clanking sound. I craned my neck over my shoulder to see Germany standing behind me, and when I looked down I saw that my hands had been cuffed behind the chair. “Hey what’s the big idea?!” I exclaimed at the culprit.  
Germany looked down at me with a stern expression. “To keep you from running avay.” He stated.  
This made me pretty POed, and I was about to argue, but the expression on Germany’s face said so clearly ‘Don’t mess with me’ that I huffed and instead and said, “Never gonna let that go, are ya?”  
“Maybe at ze end of ze night.” Germany told me before walking off to find a seat.  
I resisted the urge to bang my head against the table. I grumbled a bit under my breath, but I stopped when I saw Zara looking at me. Her eyes were bright with mischief and her mouth was twisted into a funny shape, no doubt with suppressed laughter.  
“Hey Leesy,” she said.  
I eyed her warily. It was never good when she looked like this. “… What?” I finally asked.  
Zara leaned in closer to me, as if to tell me a secret, but instead she lifted a finger and quickly tapped my nose. “Boop!” she chirped.  
“Oh for the love of-!” I started to exclaim, but I was interrupted by another “Boop!”  
I growled at Zara. I hated being booped, and she knew it. She was having a great time; she laughed between boops, laughing even harder when I tried to bite her fingers. Dang her! I couldn’t fight back, and Zara knew that she was fast enough to not get bitten. This made a giddy Zara and an irritated me.  
Most of the countries’ eyes and smiles betrayed their amusement as they suppressed their laughter, which my friends did not even try to do. Alex and Mari were giggling as they watched, and even Safi was covering her smile with her hand.  
“Boop! Boop boop boop! Boooooop!” Zara pressed my nose for a long time before snatching her finger out of reach of my teeth and cackling.  
“I will bite you eventually!” I threatened, glaring at my attacker.  
Zara laughed good-naturedly but thankful stopped her attacks.  
I sighed with relief before looking at the other countries, who were still watching me. “Take a pic, it’ll last longer,” I mumbled.  
“Okay!” America exclaimed, whipping out his ever-present phone.  
I acted upon my instinct and made the most unattractive face I possibly could. My method was successful in the fact that America began laughing too hard to take the picture.  
“What was that about anyway?” America asked when he’d calmed down. “The booping thing.”  
“Lees doesn’t like being booped.” Alex explained with a grin.  
“She hates it!” Mari giggled. “She totally despises it, and now she can’t even fight back!”  
“Yeah yeah yeah,” I grumbled glaring at Germany and thinking, This is your fault!  
Germany looked at me with what might’ve been a suppressed smirk and amusement in his blue eyes.  
Before anyone could say anything else, a man dressed like a waiter walked up to us. “Hello.” He said unenthusiastically. “I’ll be your waiter for today. My name is Paul.”  
“What?” Zara asked.  
“I said my name is Paul.” Paul relied in the exact same tone.  
“Oh, I thought you were a woman.” Zara whispered to me. I quickly bit down on my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to keep the corners of my mouth from curling upwards as I suppressed a large amount of laugher. “Carrrrrrl,” I managed to whine softly and both Zara and I bit back sniggers. We looked up to see Paul glare at us for a moment before taking everyone’s orders for drinks. The funny thing was since Paul didn’t move around to my side of the table he didn’t see that I was in handcuffs. At least we wouldn’t be kicked out for handcuffing people to chairs. Cross that one off the long list of possibilities…  
“I’ll be back with drinks and bread in just a moment.” Paul stated monotone-ly after he’d taken our orders and walked away.  
Everyone opened their menus, except me of course. “Have whatever you want guys!” America said. “My treat! Take two of everything for all I care!”  
Safi looked over at me and noticed my predicament. She gave me a sympathetic smile before putting her menu between the two of us so that I could see it too.  
I smiled back at her and we looked through the menu together. Dang she’s fast! I thought, trying to keep up with Safi. She could read a whole page in the time it took me to go halfway though, and I’m a pretty fast reader. She even retained all of that info too! Luckily, we were both thinking pasta, so we didn’t have to do a whole lot of flipping.  
In not too much time, Paul came back and gave us each our drinks and set a few baskets of bread, some small bowls, and a bottle of virgin olive oil along the table. “Bread is unlimited,” Paul stated as if he was reading a script. “So let me know if you need more.” Then he took our orders.  
When he got to Alex, she said, “I’ll just have a plate of plain noodles with some cheesy bread please.”  
Paul stared at her. “Plain noodles?” he asked.  
“Yes.” Alex stated. She looked around the table to see some of us looking at her. Italy looked just plain horrified. “So I’m picky. Get over it.”  
Paul sighed and continued. When he got to America, our country exclaimed, “I’ll have twenty burgers!” heroically.  
Paul raised his eyebrows, not looking amused. “We don’t carry burgers.” He stated.  
“What?!” America shouted angrily. “What kind of American restaurant doesn’t carry burgers?!”  
“Sir, if you have a problem with our menu, you can find yourself somewhere else to eat.” Paul said in a controlled-anger voice.  
America huffed. “I guess I’ll have the steak then.” he said unenthusiastically.  
When Paul got to Zara, she said, “I’ll have the Parmesan Challenge!”  
Paul’s eyes widened. “That is a lot of food. Not many can do it.”  
“But I’ll get a free desert!”  
“If you finish.”  
“Not if, when.”  
Paul sighed again, but wrote on his notepad. “I’ll be back with your food soon.” And he left, walking rather quickly.  
I stared at the basket of bread that had unfortunately been placed directly in front of me. It smelled wonderful, and it had come with a small bowl of oil for dipping. My stomach moaned in longing, and I tried to reach out for the bread but was stopped by the handcuffs. I watched sadly as the others took bread while I had so sit there and watch.  
I was so focused on what I was missing out on that I didn’t even notice when Germany got up, walked around the table and knelt down behind me. I jumped in my chair when I felt my handcuffs being messed with from behind, being a naturally jumpy person. I craned my head over my shoulder to see Germany release my right hand and lock the other cuff to the chair.  
Germany looked up to see the slightly surprised expression on my face. “How can you eat without a free hand?” he reasoned.  
Even though Germany was the one who’d cuffed me in the first place, I couldn’t help but give him a small smile of gratitude. Then I turned back to the table and eagerly grabbed a piece of bread. I dipped in in the olive oil, let the excess oil drip off, then raised it to my mouth and took a bite. I sighed in satisfaction, enjoying the taste of freshly baked bread and olive oil on my tongue. I hadn’t eaten nice like this for so long, so that and my hunger made it taste that much better.  
As we waited for our food the countries, my friends and I chatted up a storm. It was extremely interesting, talking to the countries, and they seemed to find us interesting as well. We traded stories, each one funnier than the last, having a great time! The more we talked, the more we got to know about each other, the more fun we had.  
“So where deed you girls come from?” Russia asked us at one point.  
My friends and I looked at each other. “Well,” Safi started off. “We come from-”  
“Another dimension!” Alex blurted out.  
“ALEX!” My friends and I yelled at her.  
Alex shrugged. “Well we did! They were going to find out somehow.”  
“The plan was to break it to them slowly!” Mari said, putting her face in her hands.  
I sighed and looked at the countries. They all had shocked looks on their faces. “W-What?” Japan stuttered. “We thought maybe you ferr out of an airoprane! Another dimension? Are you serious!?”  
“Yep!” Zara said and I facepalmed. I guess she’d given up on sticking to the plan also.  
“Another dimension?” America asked, astonished. “Are you serious dudes? That is so cool yo! What’s it like?!”  
We all looked at Mari looked at Mari, who would probably have the best chance of explaining it.  
“Um,” Mari said. “Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. The world isn’t anime, like this is.” She gestured to the world.  
“Then…what is it?” England asked.  
“It’s…more detailed.” Safi said.   
Zara snapped her fingers. “Lees! Draw ‘um a picture.” She commanded.  
“What?” I asked, taken aback. “I’m not sure if I can pull that from memory, but I can try. Does anybody have paper and a pencil?”  
“Can’t you pull some out of thin air?” Alex asked. “Like these guys can and Mari did with the book earlier.”  
“Um, I don’t know,” I answered, then I looked at the countries. “How do you do that?” I asked.  
“Wait, you can’t do that-aru?” China asked.  
“… No. If we want to pull something out, it comes from our pockets, and we have to have put it in there earlier.”  
“Vell zat seems limiting.” Germany commented.  
I nodded. “It is, but we manage…for the most part. Anyway, how do you guys do it?”  
None of the countries really knew how they did it, they just did it. When I asked Mari, she shrugged and made a “Wff!” sound, so I decided to just try it. With my free hand, I reached behind me, thinking, paper and pencil, paper and pencil. To my surprise, I actually felt something in my hand. Smiling triumphantly, I pulled my hand back around to the front to look at…a rubber ducky.  
“… Uh…” I said, staring at the yellow imposter. “You are not a pencil.” I gave it a squeak before bursting into laughter to be joined by my friends and the countries. “Here Ducky,” I said, handing the duck to Zara. “Have a ducky.” This earned another bout of laughter from her.  
“Ve, I did not know you were a duck!” Italy exclaimed at Zara, which made her only laugh some more.  
“Long story,” she said, and before she could elaborate, Paul and some more workers walked up to our table with huge platters filled with food in their hands. Even though I was starving, we were having such a good time that it’d seemed like hardly any time had passed at all. Not that I would’ve liked to postpone the food; Oh no, I was more than happy to except it now.  
My eyes widened as my dish was placed in front of me. It was a huge, heaping plate of fettuccine alfrado, with a breaded chicken breast and shrimp, all topped with a dusting of parmesan cheese. My mouth literally hurt from watering so much. I inhaled the aroma of my dish, eyes rolling back in pleasure of the tantalizing smell. It took every ounce of my self-control to not dig in and wait for everyone to be served.  
Zara was presented with her Parmesan Challenge, and she licked her lips with anticipation while my eyes bulged out of my head. The heap of pasta was huge! It’d take maybe two big guys to eat it all…or one Zara.  
Once everyone started, so did I. Sadly, I couldn’t use the fun round little spoon thing with my fork that you sometimes get at Italian restaurants to spin up your noodles with since I only had one free hand, but I managed. I quickly spun up a forkful and popped it in my mouth. “Mmmm,” I moaned softly as I sat back in my chair, chewing slowly and enjoying the blissfully delicious food. As soon as I swallowed, I filled my fork with more. I ate quickly like this for a while, satisfying my hunger before I slowed down and could focus on something other than my food.  
This is when I figured out that Mari and Alex were fighting. I had completely missed the cause of the argument, as I have a tendency to enter, exit, and reenter group conversations at weird times, but I figured it had something to do with the strawberry-war from before.  
A plain noodle sailed through the air, hit Mari in the face and stuck there. A very POed Mari stood up from her chair, grabbed her untouched plate of spaghetti, walked over to Alex, and promptly dumped it on her head. “Waiter!” she called to Paul, who was nearby but somehow hadn’t seen what she’d just done. “May I have another order of spaghetti please?”  
Paul sighed, wrote on his notepad before walking back down the stairs.  
Once he was gone, Alex launched herself at Mari and knocked her to the ground. Yet another dust cloud ensued.  
“Guys!” I yelled when I’d thought that it’d gone on long enough. “Do you really want to get kicked out?”  
The stopped fighting and looked at me. Then they looked at each other. They stayed frozen like that for a while. Then Alex picked the first noodle she’d thrown off Mari’s face with her finger and put the end of it in her mouth, slurping up the rest. Mari didn’t move and Alex froze as well. Suddenly, they burst out laughing, hugged and walked back to their seats.  
The countries stared at them, but Safi, Zara and I just shrugged our shoulders and continued eating. This was normal behavior among my friends and I; making up suddenly for no discernible reason. Maybe it was because we hated being mad at each other? Meh, it didn’t really matter.  
My short attention span moving on, I looked around the table, noticing some funny occurrences. Japan and China seemed to be having a hard time with their forks, being used to eating with chopsticks after all, and found it easier to instead use two forks in a chopstick-like fashion. America was eating his steak, grumbling about the lack of burgers while chewing, a very messy process indeed. I couldn’t look at that for very long. Italy and Zara were going absolutely bonkers, shoving pasta down their throats, trying each other’s, and even stealing some from the people around them; all when Zara was supposed to eat that huge plate of pasta. Well, she’d manage. Safi sat quietly next to me, not saying anything as she ate her five cheese ziti. She never really talked much while she ate. No reason, she just didn’t. China however did not know this and her silence bothered him. “Are you alright-aru?” he asked her.  
Safi glanced up from her food, nodding briefly at him before returning to eating.  
China’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why are you not talking?” he asked persistently.  
“Ahem,” Mari cleared her throat after, swallowing some food before saying, “Safi doesn’t talk much while she’s eating. It’s just a quirk of hers, right Safi?”  
Safi nodded again, not bothering to look up from her food.  
China still didn’t look convinced. “Say something-aru!” he pleaded.  
Safi swallowed her pasta, wiped her mouth with a napkin, looked up at him, smiled and said, “Hi China!” cutely and went right back to her food.  
I chuckled at China’s surprised expression, then I saw something reaching for my pasta out of the corner of my eye. “No!” I said, slapping away the offending fork with my own. “Bad girl!”  
“Aw!” Zara whined. “Leesyyyyy!”  
“It’s my pasta and you can’t have it!’  
“Pleeeeease?”  
“No.”  
“Pretty pleeeeease?”  
“No!”  
“Pretty pretty pleeeeeease?”  
“NEIN!”  
Every one of the countries stopped eating and looked at me, including Germany, who was just plain staring at me.  
“… What?” I asked, not realizing what I’d just said.  
“You just spoke in Germany-san’s native ranguage.” Japan explained.  
“Ve!” Italy exclaimed. “You sounded like Germany when he’s angry!”  
“… Oh!” I said, just now realizing what I’d said. “I just- I mean- I didn’t-”  
“She does that.” Zara explained with a laugh for me. “When she wants to say no and she really means it, she’ll say it in German.”  
“And it’s even funnier when she shouts it in public!” Alex giggled.  
“She meant no disrespect,” Mari added quickly.  
“It’s just a quirk of hers.” Safi said with a smile. “Right Lees?”  
“… Right.” I finished lamely. I looked in Germany’s direction but was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. “I just think German’s a cool language, that’s all.” To give myself something to do, and to draw the attention away from me, I continued eating my pasta. Once everyone’s conversations stared up again, I sighed with relief and tackled the task of cutting up my chicken with one hand. It was difficult, and I had to use my fork, but the chicken was wonderfully tender, so I managed.  
I was slowing down, filling up with food. Zara meanwhile had been steadily working away at her Parmesan Challenge, when she hadn’t been laughing or stealing other people’s pasta. She was about 3/4ths of the way done, and she wasn’t slowing down. I smiled at the sight of such a small girl eating so much food, but I had no doubts in her. Zara frikin’ ate like a pro linebacker. Knowing her, she’d have no trouble finishing both her pasta and her free desert. I hummed Eye of the Tiger in encouragement, not that she needed it.  
~~Stuffed timeskip~~  
It was getting towards the end of the night and most of the countries and my friends were just finishing up their food. I was full; full to the brim and tired. Some of it was because of the food, but most of it was because we’d had a long, eventful day and it was getting late. Because we were in public, I stayed sitting up, but what I wanted to do was go find a place to lie down. It seemed to me that I should be ashamed for eating so much. Weren’t girls supposed to eat dainty foods like salad? Salads are okay, but give me real food any day. I felt fat, immobile and exhausted. Is this what being pregnant feels like? my groggy mind wondered. Then I realized that there was still about a forkful of fettuccine on my plate. I’d eaten everything; the chicken, the shrimp, the rest of the pasta, everything but that little bit. I groaned inwardly and lifted my fork. It wasn’t enough to take in a box and there was no way I was just going to waste this amazing food, no matter how full I was. I slowly scooped up the remaining noodles and brought them to my mouth. I took as deep a breath as I thought I could manage and ate it. Swallowing, I lifted my fork a bit and said “Yay.” softly to no one in particular in celebration of my accomplishment. I hadn’t the energy to do anything more.  
“YEAH!” I didn’t even jump in my chair as Zara yelled in triumph. “I DID IT!” she exclaimed, leaping up from her chair and dancing wildly in celebration.  
I and several others gaped at Zara in astonishment. First, she’d actually been able to eat that massive plate of pasta; I couldn’t be prouder. Second, she still had the energy and mobility to jump up and dance.  
“Ve, good job bella,” Italy said sleepily as he began dozing off against Germany.  
Paul walked over to us and stared at Zara’s empty plate. “You actually managed to eat that?” he wondered aloud.  
“That’s right Paulie!” Zara exclaimed as she continued dancing. “I’m getting’ a free desert! All right!”  
Paul sighed, clearly not appreciating the nickname. “Allright,” he said. “What would you like?”  
“The fudge-stuffed brownies!” Zara proclaimed as she sat back down. Then she looked around and saw many more empty plates and tired faces around the table and added, “To go please.”  
Paul nodded and handed America the bill before walking off to get Zara’s prize.  
America took the bill and smiled at it. “I’ll leave an extra-large tip; poor Paulie deserves it.” To which we all agreed.  
“Paulie…” I heard Safi and Alex sigh in unison, pretty much asleep.  
Everyone forced themselves up from the table in preparation to leave, some forcing each other to their feet. I tried to rise also, but the handcuffs kept me to the chair. “Germanyyyyyyyy,” I said, moaning a bit as I yanked on the cuffs.  
Germany looked up at me, shrugged Italy off him and walked over to me. “Had enough for one night?” he asked.   
“Mmhm.” I was so groggy I didn’t even bother to give a smart reply. I just let Germany undo the cuffs, stood up and walked with my friends and the countries towards the stairs.  
Paul came up to us and asked for the bill. America handed it to him with a pat on the back, a grin on his face but silent.  
Once we’d almost made it down the stairs, we heard Paul scream, “Oh my gosh! Guys! Look at this tip!” he appeared over the balcony, beaming hugely…and maybe tears in his eyes? “Thank you! Thank you sir! You have no idea what this means to me!”  
Our country laughed. “Peace out dude!” he said, holding up his fingers in a peace sign as he held the door for the rest of us to walk through.  
Once we were out of the building, England said, “My goodness America! Just how much did you give the man?”  
America smiled and looked over his shoulder at Il Pomodoro. Sounds of Paul’s celebration could be heard from outside. “Just enough,” he said.  
~~Sleepy timeskip~~  
The countries took us back to our new house. My friends and I were nearly falling asleep on our feet, so once we got in the door we walked directly into the unfurnished living room and flopped down into a pile on the carpet. Zara staggered over to the fridge and put her fudge-stuffed brownies in. I’d been able to convince her to not go and get a sugar-high right before we went to bed. Then she walked over to our pile and flopped down on top.  
The countries watched us in amusement, but we were so tired we didn’t really care.  
“You ladies seem tired,” England said, smiling kindly down at us as he stated the obvious. “So we’ll let you sleep. There’ll be a surprise here for you in the morning.” He tossed a key to me, which I just barely caught. “Be sure to lock up. Sleep well.” He said and him and the other countries headed towards the doors.  
I groaned, wedging myself out from under my friends, staggered to my feet and followed the countries to the door. “G’nite,” I said groggily. “Thanks for supper, and the house, and the breakfast, and so on, from all of us.”  
The countries smiled at me as they walked out the door. Germany was the last to leave. Seeing him made me remember something.  
“Thanks for uncuffing me Germany!” I shouted after him as he walked down the path. “Guten nacht!”  
Germany paused, turning to look at me funny. Then he gave a small smile. “Bitte.” He said before turning back around and walked after the other countries.  
I stared after him for a moment, my mouth open a bit. Slowly, I closed the door, locked it, and leaned against it. Did he just…smile?  
“Whadid he say Leesy?” Zara asked sleepily from the pile as I walked over.  
“Idk,” I mumbled, nestling into my mound of ‘migas. “I only got to take one quarter of German in sixth grade, but I think he actually smiled! Did you see that?”  
Zara didn’t answer; she was already asleep.  
I managed a small smile. I sighed contentedly, snuggled down, yawned “I love you guys,” randomly, and soon followed Zara’s example.

*Veggietales! King George and the Ducky! BEST CHILDHOOD EVER!!!


	9. MINI Chapter!

Stop what you’re doing right now, hopeful that means reading my story, get up and do a five-second dance party! DO IT!!! It makes a bad day so much better!  
On wid da story! Hasta la pasta!

“Leesy Leesy Leesy! Gedup gedup gedup!”  
“Nn shudup Ducky…” I groaned, still half-asleep.  
“But Leesyyyyyyyy!”  
“Get yer buts outa here!” I moaned, chucking a pillow down at where Zara’s voice was coming from. I snuggled down into my blankets and hugged my… WAIT A COD-PICKIN’ MINUTE!!!  
In a flash I sat up in bed, my loft bed! In my bright blue and sea green room! Hugging my chestnut brown stuffed horse named Star that I’ve slept with since I was five! … Wait a minute; you didn’t just hear that last part did you? Good. Anyways, I was in my room!  
“Zara,” I said, stuffing Star under the covers. “… Are we home?”  
My pint-sized, and still anime, buddy shook her head and beamed. “Nope! Look closer.”  
So I did. On the ceiling was my small, blue buckskin dream catcher above my head, which was normal, but the ceiling it hung from was sloped, which was not normal. The wall my loft bed was against looked to be nearly ten feet tall, while the opposite wall was only about six feet high. As I climbed down my ladder and noticed a few more differences. My blue and sea green walls were covered with the posters of animals, mostly horses and birds, I’d been meaning to put up. My loft bed was taller, the top of it reaching about six feet, like I’d always wanted it to be. My floor was not covered in papers like usual; instead they were organized neatly into the large box I’d always meant to put them in. In fact, the whole room was organized way better that I’d ever gotten it. It was as if my room had magically transported to our new house and had been adjusted in all the ways I would’ve wanted it to.  
I finally stopped looking around and turned to Zara. “Did this happen to everybody?” I asked her.  
Zara nodded eagerly. “Some see!” she said, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me out of my room. She took me down the hall into another bedroom, where we found Mari, looking around and grinning even wider than usual. Her walls were colored a pale purple and the canopy on her bed matched as did the pull-apart curtains on her windows. There was also an ornate mirror, a big-ish closet, a long dresser and Mari’s little sea creature and fairy figurines were everywhere.  
“Isn’t it great?” Mari giggled. “I’ve always wanted purple walls!”  
“WOO HOO!!!” We heard a scream from next door. The three of us ran out of Mari’s room and into the next room there we found Alex jumping on her circular bed. Also in her room was a desk, an awesome chair, a HUGE closet, and on the walls were posters of Justice Crew and The Wanted.  
“It’s my rooooooom!” she sing-songed. “It’s! My! Room!”  
All the noise made me think, Where’s Safi? So I went into another room and found Safi looking around, gazing at her room with her hands over her mouth. Her carpet was grassy green and her walls were sky blue, with a Wanted, J-Crew or 1D poster here and there. She had a window bed and outside the window were flower boxes filled with flowers. In a sun-filled corner was a small tree. It basically felt like we were outside.  
“How did it get here?” she asked softly. “How did it get so perfect?”  
“Hey guys!” Zara exclaimed before anyone could say anything. “Come see my room!” she skipped out the door and across the hall into her room and we followed. The walls were purple in her room…where it wasn’t covered with posters of 1D. She had a loft bed and a mini fridge too. On the wall was a corkboard that held everything from jewelry to posters to CDs, and on the shelves were lots of movies.  
Then Safi asked a very good question: “Did this only happen to the bedrooms?”  
My friends and I looked at each other for a second, then we made a mad dash for the stairs. We ran down them as fast as we could without falling and dying and we went into the living room. There was Safi’s round couch, only bigger, and it was facing a large flat screen TV from her house, with an impressive surround sound system and stacks of movies from all our houses, which added up to quite a few.  
“… I wonder,” Zara said to herself, then she and Alex looked at each other and dashed downstairs. Safi, Mari and I ran after them when we heard delighted screaming. Once we got downstairs, we saw another flat screen TV from my place, which was surrounded by gaming systems from all our houses. A Wii and Wii U from my house, X-box 360 with Kinect from Safi’s house, a PlayStation from Zara’s place, and all of our videogames combined. There was also equipment for Guitar Hero’s for different versions, including the Wii version from my place. There was also the floor hockey and the foosball tables from Mari’s place. Last but certainly not least was the mother of all music players. It looked like, and probably was, a combination of all our boom box-type-thingies from all our houses combined into one big piece of machinery no doubt loud enough to wake the dead.  
“Omigosh this is awesome!” Alex exclaimed, gazing around the large variety of electronics.  
“Crazy.” I said, gaping at the sound system. Oh how I wanted to plug in something heavy from Skillet, turn the bass up to the max and shake the glass. Screw it; why not shake the whole house?! I’d have fun with this. Oh how I’d have fun with this.  
While my friends continued to look around the downstairs, I went up for the kitchen. I always woke up ravenous and despite the huge meal I’d had last night today was no exception. I knew that last time we checked the kitchen all that was in it were Zara’s fudge-filled brownies in the fridge, but all the other stuff that had been magically transported here gave me hope. When I opened the fridge, I found that it was stuffed with food from all or our homes. The cupboards were full too, and in one I found what I was looking for.  
“GUYS!” I yelled. “IN THE MORNIN’, I’M MAKIN’ WAFFLES!”*  
“WAFFLES!!!” Zara screamed from the basement before thundering up the stairs, closely trailed by the rest of our waffle-loving friends.  
I laughed at the eagerness of my friends as I pulled out one, two, three, four, five waffle irons, including Mari’s super-awesome Mickey Mouse waffle iron. “Zara! List off ingredients for waffles!” I commanded.  
“Ma’am yes ma’am!” Zara answered, napping her feat together and saluting.  
“DON’T call me a ma’am do I look like a ma’am?**” I asked.  
“Yes ma’am! I mean no ma’am! I mean, yes sir! Ingredients include flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, eggs, milk and butter, sir!”  
“Now drop and give me twelve… eggs!”  
My friends and I laughed and we went around the kitchen collecting the requited ingredients. Well, four of us did. Alex went around collecting condiments. Berries, whipped cream, butter, syrup, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, candy, the works. Our waffles aren’t healthy, but they’re YUMMY!  
We decided to make a feast of waffles in celebration of all our stuff being transported here, so we plugged in all five waffle irons (we didn’t care about the fire hazard) and filled a huge bowl with waffle batter. However, making all the waffles would take a while, so we decided that we’d man each other’s irons while we took turns going up and showering. While making waffles, we turned on the radio and began flipping between stations, jamming to whatever was on. Whenever there wasn’t any music downstairs, we could hear some upstairs, so I assumed that they’d found my shower radio. One by one my friends went up the stairs, showered, got dressed and came back down. And, not to be weird or anything, but my friends looked really good! Now that they were clean and in fresh clothes, there was almost an aura of good-looking-ness around them. Come to think of it, there probably was. Must’ve been the anime-ness of the world kicking in.  
Like a nice friend I let my buddies go first, so I sighed with relief when it was finally my turn. I’d been wearing the same pajamas for three days now. My poor fuzzy cow pajama pants were covered in grass stairs, dirt stains, food stains and they stuck to my legs because of what was probably sweat. Gross! I couldn’t wait to change out of them.  
I quickly picked out some clothes before heading into the bathroom, and when I got there the radio was blaring some country station. I rolled my eyes, knowing that Mari had been here, and changed the station to something more pop/rock/rap-ish before entering the bliss of hot water.  
“I hear your hea-a-art beat to the beat of the drums (rum pum)/Oh, what a shame that you came here with someo-one/So while you're here in my a-a-arms/Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young!” I sang as I stepped out of the shower. As the song continued, I brushed my teeth as I hummed along to the music, a messy process to say the least. I spat, sang some, rinsed, swishing to the music, spat again and kept singing. “Young punks, shootin’ shots/Safi’s dog eats dirty socks/Music up, don’t get caught/T’s all the waffles that I’ve got/It's pretty obvious you want to drink Crush/You know I’m sexy and I’m makin’ you blush!” I grinned at the utter absurdity of my changed lyrics, so glad that no one was listening.  
I began dancing around the bathroom in happiness, slipping falling and laughing on the wet floor, all while singing, “Loo-king for some trouble tonight/Take my hand, I'll show you the wild, side/Like it's the last night of our lives/We'll keep dancing 'til we die!” Gosh it felt good to be clean! Speaking of clean, CLEAN CLOTHES! I quickly put on a pair of jeans that were neither tight nor loose, a blue and green tie-dye tank tip and a loose, light green shirt with feathers printed on it. I took a towel and rubbed it quickly over my blue, Anne Hathaway-style hair, grinning as it stuck up all over the place. I took out my hair goop that had been transported here and used it to fix my hair in a way that was messy but also looked good. Then I put in some brightly-colored feather earrings and I was done. I looked at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw. It was so easy to look good in this anime world! To express my happiness, I kicked my bare foot (socks are for squares…well, not literally) in the air and said, “Hya!” Once I’d gotten that out of my system, I shut off the radio, opened the door and presented myself to the world.  
BLOODY HECK LITERALLY!!!  
“HI LEES!” my friends, who were with the countries, screamed while grinning like madwomen when I walked out.  
“OH GOSH!” my immediate response was to gasp as I jumped a foot in the air. I put one hand over my rapidly-pounding heart and the other I used to brace myself against the doorframe. “Don’t DO that!” I yelled once I’d caught my breath “You guys almost gave me a heart attack!”  
“I’m so sorry Leesy!” Safi cried as she glomped me. She had probably been dragged into this.  
I sighed and then gasped again as the rest of my friends followed her example. Italy did too, but Germany pried him off. “We love you Leesy!” my friends yelled happily as they smothered me in love.  
“Guys!” I exclaimed from under my pile of friends. “I feel the love already!’  
My friends laughed and let go of me, totally not sorry at all.  
I couldn’t help but grin at them as I straitened my shirt. It’s not like I wouldn’t have done the same thing. Then I realized something. “… Wait,” I said. “How long have you guys been standing out here?”  
No one answered. My friends went into giggle fits beside me, America wore a mischievous grin on his face, England looked like he was holding back a smile, France had on a very pervy smile, Russia was smiling the same way he always did, China looked at me awkwardly, Italy stood there smiling idiotically, Japan looked uncomfortable and sensed the mood and refrained from speaking, and Germany wasn’t looking at me.  
I remembered what I’d been singing. You know I’m sexy and I’m makin’ you blush! Well I was the one blushing now. The next thing I knew I was hiding behind Mari like Italy with Germany. Shoot! Why’d I do that?! Now I was even more embarrassed because of my cowardice. But at the same time, there was no way I was leaving my ‘hiding’ place.  
“Aw, c’mon Lees!” Zara pulled me out from behind my Mari-shield, much to my displeasure. “It wasn’t that bad!”  
“Except for the sexy part,” Alex snickered.  
Upon hearing this, I quickly backed into the bathroom and shut the door.  
“Leesy! Stop it!” Safi said, pushing the door back open.  
“I need an emo sulking corner.” I stated flatly.  
“Later.” Safi replied and pulled me back out of the bathroom. “For now, stay out here and be social.”  
“But I don’t want tooooo!” I whined.  
“We’re sorry we…um, heard your singing, dude.” America said, trying to keep back laughter.  
I sighed, forcing a smile. “It’s fine. I’ll get over it.”  
No one answered. The countries just stood there staring at us for a long time. You could practically taste the awkwardness. Apparently the countries weren’t aware that they were staring.  
“DON’T DUCKING STARE AT ME!!!” Zara finally screamed. No, she didn’t swear. She really said ‘ducking’.  
This startled the heck out of the countries, Italy even hid behind Germany.  
“Whoa, easy there Ducky,” Alex said, putting a hand on Zara’s shoulder.  
“S-Sorry,” England said, still a bit shocked at Zara’s outburst. “It’s just, you ladies clean up nicely.”  
“Ve! We’ve only seen you pretty ladies all dirty!” Italy exclaimed happily as he came out from behind Germany. “Now you look even more pretty!”  
Mari and England twitched at the improper English.  
“Yeah! You chicks are hot!” America said loudly with a huge grin, which was soon whipped off his face when China smacked him upside the head.  
“America! That is not polite-aru!” China glanced at us. “E-Even if it is true.”  
“Ohonhonhon! You ladies are looking very sexy-OW!” France was saying with a very creepy smile only to get it punched off by Germany. “’Ey! What was zat for?!” he cried indignantly.  
Germany said nothing, his face like stone. He glanced at me and I gave him a half-smile of thanks for shutting the creeper up. He quickly looked away from me, looking very frustrated, which confused me.  
“So why are you guys here?” Safi got to the point.  
“Werr,” Japan said. “Since you girrs are not from here, we have decided that you wirr spend a day with each of us so that we can introduce you to this worrd.”  
“Sounds like fun!” Zara said with a grin.  
“Yeah dudes!” America shouted, striking an epic pose. “You chicks get to hang out with me first! We start out tomorrow yo!”   
“YEAH!” Alex responded almost as enthusiastically as our country and they high-fived.  
I couldn’t help but grin also. America was obnoxious, loud and annoying…just like us! This was going to be fun!  
“By the way,” Mari said, interrupting Alex and America’s happy-fest, addressing the rest of the countries. “Would any of you have anything to do with all our stuff being transported here by any chance?”  
England smiled a bit, raising his hand and said, “I am afraid I am the culprit. Surprise!”  
“You did this?” Mari asked, wide eyed. “How?”  
“A magician never reveals his secret,” he said, his smile turning a bit mischievous.  
“England likes to practice magic, da.” Russia said, smiling a bit wider.  
The Brit was about to protest but before he could Mari gasped. “Magic?” she exclaimed. “You do magic?”  
England looked around uncomfortably. “W-Well,” he said. “The thing is, I-Oh!” The next thing he knew Mari was hugging him tightly.  
“That is so cool!” she exclaimed. “Thank you for bringing our stuff here and making it even better! Can I see you do magic sometime?”  
England, stunned that he had been glomped, looked down at Mari with a shocked expression, who was looking up at him with puppy dog eyes, and boy was it working! “A-Alright,” he said, and I got the idea from the countries’ reactions that this was something that England would never allow.  
Mari smiled, her eyes alight with anticipation as she let go of the Brit, who looked almost a bit…sad. He must not get a lot of hugs.  
“I’m hungryyyyyyyy!” Zara whined randomly. “I want waffles!”  
Safi giggled, turned to the countries and asked, “Would you like to join us for some waffles?”  
“DUH!” America cried, did a fistpump and ran down the stairs, leaving a dust trail behind him…in the house.  
I watched our uber-hyper country charge downstairs, trailed by an also hyper Alex, a waffle-ecstatic Zara, an anxious Safi, a laughing Mari, and a whole lot of other countries shaking their heads. “Tomorrow’s gonna be one heck of a day huh?” I asked them.  
Then countries turned to look at me, and in unison they said, “You have no idea.” 

*Shrek  
**Transformers 3


	10. Day with an American Idiot

A DAY VIZ AMERICA!

BANG!  
SLAM!  
“HEL-LO DUDETTES!!!”  
I groaned and rolled over in bed onto my stomach. Gosh he’s loud, I thought as I pressed my face into my pillow. I mean, seriously, I could hear everything he did from upstairs. Heck, the nearest country could probably hear him! Were all us Americans this loud? It’s not that I wasn’t excited or anything, I really was! It was America for Stephano’s sake! Today was going to be a blast! But it was early in the morning and my warm bed felt soooo good…  
BANG!  
“YO! WAKE UP!”  
I jumped in bed at the sudden noise in my room. “Dude,” I said, rubbing my eyes as I sat up and looked at the clock. Okay, so it wasn’t so early in the morning, but still. “Why so early? We’re still in the AM’s man!”  
“HAHAHAHAHA!” America laughed loudly in my relatively small room. “No time to sleep in today dude! We got so much time and so little to do!”  
I sighed. “Strike that.” I used my finger to make circles in the air. “Reverse it*.”  
America laughed loudly again and just like that he left.  
I sighed again, thinking of oh how lucky I was that I was one of the nearest to the stairs and got to be woken first as I climbed down from my bed. I looked out in the hall and saw America and Alex waking people up. It was surprising to see Alex so bright eyed and bushy tailed; she was usually a worse morning person than me! But no, she was grinning almost giddily as she ran around waking people up.  
Eventually everyone came out of their rooms. Mari was smiling cuz she’s ridiculously happy in the morning, Zara looked pumped for the day, and Safi was radiating quiet excitement.  
“All right dudettes!” America yelled as he clapped his hands together. “Get dressed and wash up and we’ll be on our way!”  
“What about breakfast?” Mari asked.  
“We’re eatin’ in the car! Let’s go go go!”  
Energized by America’s contagious enthusiasm, we all scurried off to our rooms.  
~~…MERG!~~  
“ALEX! Open the door!” I heard Zara scream as I came back out into the hallway. She was banging on the door to the bathroom and Safi and Mari were with her. “Gosh dangit we gotta get in there too!”  
I sighed. Six bedrooms on one floor, but only one bathroom. Who designed this house?**  
Eventually Alex did come out and the rest of us scrambled for the bathroom. After that it was kind of a rushed situation in the bathroom with everyone wanting to get in. Somehow though, we made it work and we were soon ready.  
“Alright dudettes!” America exclaimed. Everybody in the car!” And with that he ran out the door with us at his heels.  
Alex ran like a madwoman, screaming, “Shotgun!” and reached the car amazingly fast. The rest of us would have to sit in the back, even though there were only three seats. We made it work, squishing close together, being glad that it wasn’t all five of us back there, so no one would have to lay across the top of the others… YOU HEARD NOTHING!!!  
“Zara want foooood,” Zara moaned, earning an elbow from Mari, but America only laughed.  
“Don’t worry dude!” he said. “We’re off to get some food right now at one of the best restaurants ever!”  
Before anyone could ask what that was, America turned into a McDonald’s parking lot. Most of us were game, but Safi frowned. You see, every morning when Safi woke up she drank a cup of chai tea, and chai tea was not offered at Mickey D’s.  
I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You know, I’m sure they have iced tea here.”  
Safi sighed. “It’s not the same,” she muttered under her breath a bit darkly.  
Uh oh…  
We all went in and ordered our food. America ordered every breakfast sandwich on the menu.  
“Geez,” I said, watching as the lady behind the counter piled sandwich after sandwich onto America’s tray. “What’re you gonna do with all those?” Then I watched wide-eyed as America stuck an entire Egg McMuffin into his mouth with an ‘Om!’ sound.  
“Ef derm, der,” he said, his mouth grossly full of food.  
As much as that disgusted me, I speak food and understood that he had said, ‘Eat them, duh,’ Shaking my head to dispel my utter shock at the sudden disappearance of the sandwich, I grabbed my bag of food. The smell emanating from it was so wonderful I stuck my face in to get a better whiff.  
“Come on Lees,” I heard Alex say and I lifted my head out as she grabbed my arm and lead me towards the rest of our group. “At least wait till we’re at the table to chow down.”  
“But it’s sooooo good!” I protested.  
“Yes yes,” Alex said, speaking to me as she would a child. “Now sit down and eat.” and she sat in the booth and pulled me in after her.  
I didn’t know why, but the six of us decided on a booth, rather than a much easier table. Nope, instead we squeezed three people into each side and ate that way. America was squished between the window and Alex, though neither of them looked as if they found anything wrong with the situation at all, and I sat next to Alex on the edge. Across from me sat Safi, then Zara in the middle, and Mari had the other window.  
I looked at Alex pleadingly. “Now?” I asked as pathetically as possible.  
Alex smiled. “Now.”  
My hand dove into my bag and came out holding its prize: a Southern Style Chicken Biscuit.  
“Lees,” Zara said, pointing her straw threateningly at me. “If you go all Tobuscus on us…”  
“Oh relax,” I said, unwrapping my treasure. “I don’t have any mashed potatoes or barbeque sauce.”  
“But you still have the-“  
“DON’T SAY IT!” Mari and Safi stopped Zara.  
I giggled but decided not to torture my friends today…yet. Instead I bit into my sandwich, savoring the flavor of what was probably not even chicken.  
America on the other hand was stuffing whole sandwiches into his mouth and talking loudly, enthusiastically emphasizing his words by pounding his fist on the table. My powers were useless in understanding a single word he said. As disgusting as it was, the whole process was actually quite fascinating to watch. My friends and I stared in awe as America continued ‘talking’, watching as he ate sandwich after sandwich in only one bite each.  
Finally, Mari’d had enough. “I can’t understand a single word you’re saying!” she protested. “Would you please just stop eating?”  
America swallowed. “My vocabulary can be intimidating.” he said, to which Mari let out an exasperated sigh. Clearly he hadn’t known Mari long enough. “I’ll stop eating this absurd pile of sandwiches so you can focus better.” Then he reached for his drink and I thought he would take a sip before starting.  
Nope.  
Sluuuurp “Shooting-” sluuuurp “burgers-” sluuuurp “games-” sluuuurp “Tony-” sluuuurp “Ah! You’ll get to spend the whole day with the hero!”  
We all gaped at him in silence.  
“… What?” America asked after a moment of looking confused.  
My friends and I looked at each other, then we shook our heads. “Nothing,” I said, continuing to ear. “Absolutely nothing.”  
~~GerbyGerbyGerbGerb~~  
“So this is what you meant!” Zara said as America pulled into another parking lot.  
“Exactly!” America replied as he got out of the car. “I said we were going to the shooting range! Guns are awesome!”  
“Shooting range?” Safi asked as she climbed out of the car. She looked…discombobulated. She wasn’t confused of anything, but something was definitely not right with her. No chai tea. She’d probably only pretended to drink the iced stuff. This was not good. “No no,” Safi I said, waving her pointed fingers around. “No. There is no way I’m going to shoot a gun! Guns are bad! I don’t know how to shoot one, and I have no desire to learn how!”  
“Ooooooh no,” I said, completely serious. “It’s the Chai-Tea-Deficiancy-Syndrome.”  
“Uh oh,” Mari said, her face registering genuine concern for the situation. “That’s almost as bad as the Post-Midnight-Madness!”  
“Oh goody!” Zara giggled hyper-ly, her expression betraying mischievous intent just begging to be let out. Then her face turned into a frown. “Although, it’s not like it’s the Past-Two-Pandemic.”  
America stared at us like we were lunatics…which we are. “What the heck are you dudes talking about?” he asked.  
“Hopefully you’ll get to find out,” Alex giggled in anticipation, grabbing America’s hand and leading him towards the gallery.  
Zara’s giggles turned wild. “C’mon Safi,” She took Safi’s hand and dragged out friend in the same direction, an almost evil aura floating around our ducky. (Think Britain w/ Busby’s chair…before Russia destroyed it) “Let’s get you a gun!”  
Safi was unusually stubborn. “No no no no NO!” she said louder than usual as she dug her heels into the ground, creating a screeching noise. “There’s no way I’m shooting a gun!”  
“This is not a good idea.” Mari muttered like she dreaded what was to follow.  
I shook my head and replied, “Nope nope nope.” as we followed the rest of our friends.  
“Lees! Catch your goggles!” I heard Zara yell and the next thing I knew something was flying towards my face.  
I yelped and ducked a bit as I ninja-caught the pair of eye goggles. “Catch is complete! No fumble!” I called back, beaming proudly as I triumphantly held up the goggles.  
Alex turned and looked at America, who looked confused again. “It’s always either a fumble or a ninja-catch with Lees.” she explained. “It’s always a guess which it’ll be this time.”  
America gave a funny smile. “You dudes must be Minnesotans.” He said randomly.  
We all turned and gaped at him with faces only anime can produce.  
“How did you know that we’re from Minnesota?” Mari asked.  
“Are you physic?!” Zara asked the less-logical question.  
America laughed. “No I’m not physic, though that would be totally awesome,” he answered. “I can tell by your accents!”  
“Accents?” my friends and I all asked at once.  
“Yeah!” The way you say ‘nope’ and ‘yep’ all the time, cEtch, yEr, and MinnesoDa!”  
“I never knew we had accents!” Alex said.  
“Hahaha! Yeah, it’s kind of cute!” America replied with a smile directed directly at Alex. Was it me, or was the ever-so-confident Alex’s face getting red?  
“L-Let’s get our guns guys,” Alex stuttered. Wait, now stuttering? Alex stuttering? What was going on here?  
Hm…  
I’d shot a gun before, but it’d been a long time since then so Mari, Zara, Alex and America gave me a quick recap. I was trying to keep myself under control because I was feeling unrealistically bad-apple with a gun in my arms and was getting trigger-happy. Honestly, this was probably why I hadn’t shot in so long.  
Safi, on the other hand, utterly refused to come anywhere near any firearms and she strongly disapproved of us doing so. “You guys are all animal-murdering red-necks!”  
“Oh c’mon Safi!” I said good-naturedly as I put my arms around her shoulders. “You know I’d never shoot anything alive!”  
“I would!” Mari said peppy-ly with a huge grin as she pumped her gun.  
I found this extremely comical and tried not to fall over laughing. “Remember when you brought that deer heart sandwich to lunch in elementary school?”  
“Yuppers!” she replied. “No one would eat it! Including you!”  
“Oh gosh no!” I answered with a laugh. Just the thought of it made me shudder. I’m squeamish.  
“You guys are all sick!” Safi said disgustedly as she shook my arm off her shoulders. “I hope you all get shot in the foot! Or the head cuz the head would work too! That’s what’s going to happen to the poor deer you shoot! It’s all Columbus’ fault cuz he had a gun and he was a jerk to the Native Americans! Then everyone came over to America with their stupid guns and-”  
“Safi you’re going to offend America!” Mari protested, seeing how desperate the situation was becoming.  
America however looked less offended and more confused, maybe even a bit curious. It was like he actually could not comprehend Safi’s distaste for guns.  
“Screw America!” Safi continued, becoming more and more upset. “Americans need to stop it with their shotguns! They’re idiots because-” She was cut off when Alex wrapped her arms around Safi’s middle from behind and they both fell backwards with Safi in Alex’s lap.  
“Safi calm down!!” Alex yelled but she was drowned out by Safi’s… Wait a second, Safi was actually screaming!, along with kicking the air and waving her arms wildly in efforts to escape.  
None of us really knew what to do at that point. Sure Safi was neutralized for a moment but Alex couldn’t exactly hang on to her forever and people were staring. My friends and I were also staring mostly because it was completely and utterly shocking to see quiet Safi making such a racket. Not even Chai tea would help now; she was past the point of no return. Finally, one of us came up with a solution.  
“SAFI!” Zara screamed at the top of her lungs. “FLOWERS!”  
Safi froze immediately and stared at Zara. “Where?” she asked urgently.  
“There!” Zara pointed to the side of the road at a public flower garden. Had that been there before?  
Safi followed Zara’s finger, and when she saw the garden she suddenly wrenched herself from Alex’s grip and booked it towards the garden. When she got there, she ever-so-calmly knelt down in the green grass and began to smell the flowers. Her face was one of bliss, and I don’t mean one of her substitution words. An aura of sparkliness surrounded our friend as she contentedly sat amongst the flowers. “You guys go have fun,” she said simply, waving her hand at us without so much as looking our way. “I’ll wait out here.”  
America’s face was one of absolute dumbfoundation. “B-But, sh-she was just-! Why did-? How did-d-d-duwa?!”  
My friends and I laughed at our country. “Come on America,” Alex said, leading him away. “Let’s get crackin’!”  
America looked down at her, majorly confused. “Is this one of those things you get used to?” he asked.  
At the same time, my friends and I answered, “Nope.”  
~~Doobeedoobeedoowah~~  
I was so excited to shoot I barely remembered to put the noise-cancelling headphones on. Can’t have me going deaf now can we? I thought to myself giddily as I put them on. Shifting myself around so that I was lying on my stomach, I pretended I was a sniper on a mission. I loaded the gun and then scanned the terrain. Soon, I saw a great big, round, red and white-Zombie! I thought to myself as I pulled the trigger. I braced myself, waiting for the bang, but…it never came. I gave my gun a confused look. Was something wrong, or was I just stupid? I jiggled my gun a bit before taking aim again and pulling the trigger.  
Nothing. Dang! “Erg, you suck,” I growled at the gun before standing up. “Excuse me?” I said to a random guy. “Couldn’t you help me with my gun please? I haven’t used one in a while, and I think there might be something wrong with it.”  
The man came over to me and said something I didn’t quite catch. “Huh? Wazzat?” I asked.  
I saw the man sigh and he pointed to his ear.  
It looked me a second to realize what he meant, then I realized that I still had the headphones on. “Oh, sorry,” I said, a bit embarrassed as I slid them off my head. “It won’t shoot.” I said as I handed him my gun.  
The man took it in his hands and inspected it for a moment before giving the barrel a good solid whack.  
BANG  
I jumped a foot in the air as my gun suddenly went off.  
“WHOA!” I heard someone yell. Fearing the worst, I whirled around and saw America hanging onto one of the wooden beams of the shelter we were in, legs spread wide. Behind him in the wooden wall was a bullet hole. If America hadn’t jumped, the bullet would’ve hit his… Oh NO!  
“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME IT WAS LOADED!!!” the man screamed at me.  
This made me start to panic. “OMIGOSHIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY!!!” I stared yelling insanely. I almost killed a person! I almost killed America! I ALMOST KILLED OUR COUNTRY!!! I rushed over to America. “OMIGOSH ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?!” I gasped.  
America dropped from the beam and landed on his feet. “Whew! Dodged that bullet! Literally!” he laughed.  
“HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!?!?!” I screamed at him. “I ALMOST KILLED YOU!!!”  
“Whoa!” America yelled just loud enough to silence me, putting his palms out in front of him. “Calm down there dudette! Everything’s cool bra! Accidents happen!” In a quieter voice, he said, “I’m a country, remember? I’m immortal. Although that would’ve hurt…a lot.” which didn’t help.  
Breathing heavily, I sat down on a bench. “I think I’m done for the day,” I said, fixating my eyes on the floor.  
“Aw come on dude!” America said. “Ya gotta get back up on that horse yo!”  
“Horse?” My head popped up and I looked around. Then I realized, “… Oh, you meant that metaphorically.”  
“Meta-what?”  
“Anyway, not today.” I shook my head.  
Before America could protest any more, there was a bang and I heard an all-too familiar scream.  
“ZARA!” In a flash I was on my feet and sprinting as fast as I could in the direction of the noise. No. No no NO!  
“Ah! My foot! OW!” Zara was yelling when I found her. She was hunched over and clutching her right foot. Redness oozed between her fingers.  
Although I was relieved that Zara hadn’t shot herself in any potentially fatal places, the situation was still dangerous. Instinct kicked in and I was beside her literally before I had even realized that I’d done so. “Zara! Let me see!” I ordered, instinct completely cancelling out all my natural squeamishness.  
“Oh. My. Gosh.” I heard Mari say, and I knew that she was standing above me.  
“Zara what happened-AUGH!” I heard Alex scream no doubt when she saw Zara’s foot.  
“I-It hurts!” Zara sobbed, pressing her face into her knees.  
“Zara, it’s going to be okay,” I said, strangely calm and reassuring. “Now let me see your foot.”  
“B-But it-t hurts!”  
“I can’t help if you don’t let me see it Zara.”  
“… O-Ok-kay…” Slowly, Zara removed her hands to reveal…  
Wait a second.  
“KETCHUP PACKETS?!?!?!” I shouted.  
Just then Zara keeled over…laughing. “YOU GUYS SHOULDA SEEN YOUR FACES!!!” she howled, clutching her stomach and kicking her ketchup-stained feet in the air.  
Suddenly Safi was beside me, breathing heavily like she’d just gone for a run. “I-” she panted. “I heard Zara scream! I-Is she-?”  
“Hi Safi!” Zara laughed as she looked up at our friend.  
Safi’s face flashed relief for a barely-visible millisecond, but then it turned to downright murderous. She stomped over to Zara and grabbed her by the collar. “You… youuuuUUUUUU!!!” she started to shout, but then suddenly she enveloped Zara in a hug. Equally as suddenly, Safi gripped Zara by the shoulders and shook her back and forth, screaming, “DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!”  
“WhoahoahOAH!” Zara yelled as she was being shaken. “S-SAF-FI S-ST-TO-O-OP SH-SHAK-KING M-M-ME-EE-EE!”  
Finally, Safi did as she asked and stopped shaking her. “Why would you do that?! I thought you were dead!”  
Zara smirked a bit. “That’s what you get for not shooting with us! They at least knew I was pretending to shoot myself in the foot-AUGH!” and with that we all tackled Zara. “What is this for?!” She cried from beneath our pile.  
“To punish you for scaring us so bad!” Mari answered, repeatedly patting Zara on the head, which she hates.  
“Gaaaaaaaah! Alright alright! I’m sorry! Now let me up already!”  
The rest of us couldn’t help but laugh at her surrender and we each pulled her into a hug.  
“Hahaha dude!” America laughed. “That was totally a great prank yo!”  
“You’re actually encouraging this?!” Safi asked, exasperated. “I’m done!” she turned around and walked away. “I’ll be in the garden if you need me.” She called over her shoulder.  
Zara giggled at our friend’s ragequit. Then, as quick as lightning, she changed the subject. “Alex!” she said. “I challenge thee to a shoot-off!”  
Alex beamed. “You’re on!” she replied, and with that they ran off for their guns, America not far behind.  
Mari and I looked at each other.  
“We should really-”  
“Yeah, let’s go.”  
When we reached them, Zara and Alex were getting their guns ready and we put our headphones on. The two got ready to start, nudging each other playfully as they waited for the signal.  
“Alright dudes!” America exclaimed, pulling a whistle out of nowhere. “Whoever gets closest to the center wins! You each get five shots! Zara, you’re up first!” Then he blew on the whistle much louder than necessary.  
Five bullets later, there were only three holes in the target, all on the outer ring.  
“Stupid gun!” Zara said angrily as Alex laughed. “There must be something wrong with it!” It was kind of funny seeing her struggle, since she’d been able to bring down deer before.  
“Suuuuuuure,” Alex said with a smirk. “My turn!” she exclaimed, motioning for America to blow the whistle.  
Five bullets later, there were only three more holes in the target, all on the outer ring.  
“What the heck?!” Alex yelled, glaring at the laughing Zara. Then, I saw her expression change. “America,” she said sweetly. “Will you help me?” She batted her eyelashes, making my bite back a ‘PFFT!’.  
“Sure thing!” America said with a huge grin. He stood behind Alex and held her arms in his as he showed her how to aim the gun.  
Mari, Zara and I were nearly doubling over in attempts to keep back laughter. This was sooooooo great!  
“Alright, now shoot!” America said, still holding her position with his arms.  
BANG!  
There was a new hole in the target, closer than the others, but still only one ring further in.  
Alex didn’t seem to care. “Wow!” She exclaimed, beaming. “You’re such a good teacher!”  
My eyes crossed and I bit down on my tongue. I saw what was going on, and I knew that Alex had gotten what she wanted, but I found the cliché situation pretty funny.  
Without warning, Mari stood up. Not saying anything, she picked up her gun and raised it to her shoulder. After taking a second to aim, she fired.  
BANG!  
The hole that appeared was waaaaay closer to the center than the others had been.  
Mari smirked at Alex, America and Zara’s gaping faces as she blew non-existent smoke off her gun.  
I couldn’t help but give her a fistbump.  
~~Bagnittybangbangbang~~  
“DON’T YA WANT ME BAAAAAAYBAY! DON’T YA WANT ME OOOOOOOOOOOOH!”  
Don’t ask me why we were singing to an 80’s song, but if you did anyway, the answer is: the 80’s were AWESOME! I’ve often wished that I was born in the 80’s, but then I remember the bomb threats and then I’m good.  
After stopping by the garden to pick up Safi, we’d stopped at Burger King on the way to America’s so we were all singing around paper bags with fatty foods, the largest being America’s. If he ate like this all the time, how he stayed thin I didn’t know, but I sure wanted to.  
“DON’T YA WANT ME BAAAAAY-Oh hey! We’re here!” America cut off the singing, turned off the car, (including the radio :’( ) and jumped out, the rest of us spilling out after him. As expected, America’s house was rather large. That’s all I have to say.  
“Welcome to my house!” America exclaimed, spreading out his arms for emphasis. “Put your stuff anywhere! C’mon there’s some friends I want ya to meet!” And with that he took off down the hallway.  
The rest of us had to run fast, but we were finally able to catch up with our energetic (UNDERSTATEMENT) country. He was standing in his back yard, standing at the edge of a large swimming pool and looking at something in it. As we joined him at the pool, my eyes flew open wide when I fixated my eyes on what America was looking at. “… Oh… My… Gosh” What I saw was a rather small…cartoon WHALE!  
“WHAT THE FLIP?!?!?!” My friends and I all yelled at the same time.  
“Ooooooooooooooooooo!” the whale sang, smiling in a strangely human-like way.  
“You have a whale?!” Zara asked the obvious.  
“Hahahaha! Of course dude! The hero can have a whale if he wants to! It just takes a little thing called coffee!” America answered.  
Now, I love whales. Absolutely adore them. Mari does too. But this whale…was strange. The thing was basically a sloppily-drawn whale, absolutely unidentifiable. Not to mention the fact that it smiled like a human. Maybe it was the coffee… Never the less, I was still jealous.  
The whale swum up to the edge of the pool and my friends and I all stepped back instinctively. America, however, ran right up to it and glomped the whale. “My friend!” he said happily as the whale sang, also happily. “Whale Dude!”  
My friends and I all stared at America in utter disbelief. Finally, we all said at the same time, “Can I hug your whale?”  
~~Wa Wa Wa Whales!~~  
“Tony! Where are ya dude?” America called as he wandered around the halls.  
“Who’s Tony?” Safi asked, wringing water out of her shirt. There’d been a slight mishap. Apparently, cartoon whales spouted water, unlike real whales by the way.  
“He’s a buddy of mine,” America replied, looking over his shoulder at us for a brief second. Turning back around, he said, “Tony! There you are! I got some friends I want ya to meet! Yeah! The ones I was telling you about the other day.” Our country turned to the side and revealed-  
“An alien!” I exclaimed, stuck somewhere between excitement and fear. Standing in front of us was a small white extraterrestrial! He was about half America’s height, had two small slits for nostrils and large red eyes, although they weren’t menacing.  
“… This is …Tony?” Mari asked, astonished. That’s-”  
“AMAZING!” I exclaimed as I knelt down in front of the creature, overtaken by sudden curiosity. “Hello?” I asked it. “Can you understand English?”  
Without opening its mouth, if it even had one, Tony said a single word.  
My expression must’ve been pretty darn funny, cuz my friends and America all busted out laughing.  
“W-What did I do to deserve that?” I sputtered exasperatedly as I stood up.  
“Nothing!” America laughed. “That’s pretty much all Tony ever says to strangers.”  
Tony confirmed this by repeating the word twice.  
“Well!” Zara said with a grin. “I never knew aliens were such potty-mouths!”  
“Haven’t you ever seen Paul?” America asked, earning ‘really?’ stares from all of us.  
“Where did you get an alien?” Alex asked, ignoring America’s previous comment.  
“Haven’t you ever heard of the Roswell incident?” our country asked.  
My friends all turned to me, I being the resident alien-nerd. “Well, yeah,” I answered. “But didn’t the government say it was just a weather balloon or something?” Not bothering to mention that I never believed that cover-up for a second. They didn’t need to know the complete extent of my craziness.  
At this, America’s normally happy face fell. “Yeah,” he said. “My boss wouldn’t let me tell my citizens. He even tried to get me to believe that it was a balloon too! But I’m no idiot; I know a spaceship when I see one!”  
“Okay, but why is…he here?” Mari asked, seemingly not quite sure of her gender evaluation.  
“He lives with me now!” America said, his usual happiness coming back. He knelt down beside Tony and put his arm around the alien’s shoulders. “I’ve Americanized him!” he proclaimed loudly.  
I wasn’t so sure that was a good thing, but an alien is an alien. “I have a question for you,” I knelt down again so that I was eye-to huge, red eye with Tony. “Are the Transformers real?”  
~~Ay ay ay aliens!~~  
“But does that mean yes or no?!” I whined desperately as America continued leading my friends and I through his house.   
“Yes!” Kelsey said, who was at my side and the only other resident Transfan. “We must know!”  
“C’mon dudes!” America didn’t even glance at Safi and I. “Let’s go play some videogames while we eat!”  
“You’re evading the question!” I accused as we entered another room. “We know that the government’s hiding them! Where is N.E.S.T. located?!”  
“Tell us what Tony said! You have to tell us-Oo shiny!” Safi left my side to go chase something shiny with Zara (Dang you Chai Tea Deficiency syndrome!) so I gave up.  
Everyone flopped onto the couch and began to eat our food amongst the abundance of videogames.  
“Alright!” America said, stuffing a hamburger down his throat. “Wa du ya wawa pay fas?”  
“What do we wanna play first?” I asked.  
“Wii Mario Karts!” Safi and Zara exclaimed at the same time and jumped for the controllers.  
Sadly, I didn’t get to the other controllers fast enough, so Mari and I watched and waited for our turns.  
It wasn’t too long before we heard a knock at the door.  
“VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIt’sopenRRRRRYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEER!” America said between making racecar noises as he drove his virtual cart.  
The door was then kicked open by someone with too-long sleeves holding a large crate with Asian writing on it that was blocking their face. “America!” A familiar voice said, then the person turned to the side and the box revealed China. “I’ve brought the shipments of Chai tea you’ve ordered-aru!”  
At the words ‘Chai’ and ‘tea’, Safi’s controller dropped from her hands in slow motion. It fell in complete silence and hit the ground with a thunderous clattering. Slowly, quietly and calmly, she turned around to face China in an almost creepy way.  
I knew that on the inside Safi was probably crying but also that she’d never ask if she could make some herself. “America,” I said, trying to get our country’s attention. When he didn’t respond, I used my foot (it was closer than my hand) to knock the controller out of his hands.  
“Hey!” he protested.  
“Safi would like permission to make some Chai tea please.” I said before he could complain any more.  
America looked at me funny. “Why would she want that?” he asked. “And why doesn’t she just ask herself?”  
“DON’T MESS WITH THE WOMAN’S TEA OR YOU’LL REGRET IT!” Zara screamed, wayyyyy to into her game.  
America looked confused until he saw Safi’s unchanged expression, which scared him a bit. “Yeah,” he said. “Go ahead dude.” And he quickly picked his controller back up and tried desperately to catch up with the others in the game.  
Calmly, Safi got up from the couch and walked over to China. He set the box down and opened it for her. “Here you go,” he said, handing a package to her. “I’ll show you to America’s kitchen.” And he led her out of the room. Soon the two were back, both holding a cup of steaming Chai tea. Safi had a blissful look on her face, as if everything was finally right with the world now that she had her tea. She looked up at China as if he was her hero, and China smiled back at her. It almost seemed as if her happiness was what was making him happy.  
Hm.  
The two sat down at a small table and began to converse. It was so weird to see Safi talk so freely with a person she barely knew, but I was also happy to see her loosed up with someone besides us.  
Anyways, that left an open spot in the game I let Mari take it since I was having fun just watching my overenthusiastic friends anyway. Although, it wasn’t long before we were interrupted again.  
BANG  
“G’DEYE!”  
I jumped as the door was slammed open and whirled around at the sound of an Australian accent. Standing in the doorway was a man with thick eyebrow, although not as thick as England’s, with brown hair eyes two ahoges, pale green eyes and a band aid across his nose.  
“AN AUSTRALIAN!” Alex screamed and immediately she jumped up, dropped her controller and glomped the man.  
“Whoa there little missy!” the Australian said good-naturedly with a smile. “I love a hug from a pretty girl as much as the next fella, but might I learn your name?”  
“I’m Alexandra!” Alex squealed happily. “And you’re an Australian!”  
The Australian laughed. “Not just any Austrayian mate, I’m THE Austrayia!”  
Alex’s jaw dropped. “No. Flippin’. Way.” She said. “Safi! It’s the real Australia!”  
Safi sat in her seat, smiling on the outside but no doubt fangirling on the inside.  
“Why hello there little missy!” America walked over to her with a dashing smile. “Might I have the pleasure of learning your name?”  
Safi avoided eye contact, extremely nervous but also extremely happy.  
“Her name is Safira,” China answered for her. For some reason he wore a sour face and glared at the friendly Australian, and I wondered about the sudden mood change.  
“Safi! He’s got abs!” Alex said gleefully us she poked Australia’s stomach, earning a facepalm from me. “Rock-hard abs!”  
“What’re you doin’ here man?” America asked. He looked as if he was trying to be cheerful, but he kept glancing at Alex. Now what was his issue?  
“Oh I just thought I’d stop in for a spell mate,” Australia grinned as if he didn’t see America’s ‘disapproval’ face. Come to think of it, he probably didn’t. He seemed like that kind of guy. Not necessarily insensitive, just oblivious. “Austria told me there were some new girlies who knew our secret, so I decided to come meet them for myself! And who might you be missy?” he asked Zara.  
“I…am… THE WINNER!” Zara finished the game, jumped up and screamed. She was the only one who hadn’t put down her controller when Australia walked in. “I win! I win! You lose! You lose!” she sang as she jumped around.  
“That’s Zara,” Mari explained, smiling at our little friend and then at Australia. “Hi, I’m Marina.” She said as she took his hand.  
“Nice to meet ya missy!” Australia said with a grin. “And ‘ow ‘bout you mate?” He looked at me.  
“Adaliz.” I said with a grin, holding out my hand. “And since you’re Australia, I have a question for you.”  
“Fire away mate!”  
“ Are yowies real?”  
The look of surprise on Australia’s face was so funny I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry!” I said, waving my hands apologetically. “I’m just joshin’ ya. It’s nice to meet you.”  
Australia’s face cleared itself of surprise and replaced itself with humor. “Ah, a joker ey? I can appreciate that. I’m quite the kidder myself.”  
I reclined with a relaxed expression on my face. “In all seriousness though,” I said. “Do they exist?”  
“Ooooooooooookay Leesy,” Alex pulled a very confused Australia away. “I think that’s enough of your sci-fi fantasies for tonight.”  
I huffed, crossed my arms and turned away. Two chances for two of my biggest questions in life to be answered, but noooooo!  
“Well, I’d best be off then,” Australia said casually, replacing his confused face with his normal happy one. “Just came by to say g’deye to the newbies. Nice to see ya America, China. Later mates!” and with that he left.  
~~Au Au Au Australians!~~  
“There! There! Green slugbug right there!”  
“What? No way dude! That was totally blue!”  
“Was not!”  
“Was too!”  
“Not!”  
“Too!”  
“Suhduh,” I mumbled ‘shudup’ as I very tiredly gnawed on my toasted grilled-chicken-and-cheddar-footlong-on-Italian Herbs & Cheese-sub. I was exhausted, as were Mari, Safi and Zara too. It’d gotten really late while we were at America’s place. China’d left a while ago, much to Safi’s disappointment, and we’d spend hours just playing videogames with our admittedly fun country. To top that off, we’re all lively videogamers, so the games hadn’t been without lots of movement, which is why we were so exhausted.  
Except, apparently, for Alex and America. Those two were still going strong, playing their car games on the drive back to our place. They were waving their arms around, Subway’s splattering everywhere, but America didn’t care, which was good because we’re not tidy. At all. We’re like boys. I’m serious.  
Zara was asleep on my shoulder, and Safi was cuddled between Mari and Zara. Mari and I were propped against our windows, trying desperately not to fall asleep as well.  
Soon we got home, since I guess it was our home now, and we thanked America for the great day we’d had.  
“It was so much fun!” Alex exclaimed. “Let’s do it again sometime!”  
America beamed hugely. “For sure!” he said. “But as for tomorrow, you’re Iggy’s, and I have just the thing for that!” America reached behind him and pulled out something I couldn’t see.  
“Oh no,” Alex said, looking at what America held. “I don’t-”  
“No no, not for you!” America laughed. “I follow my own laws.” He shook his head. “No, this is for England.” He handed the item to Alex. “You keep this hidden until the righty time comes, okay?”  
“How will I know when it’s the right time?” Alex asked.  
“Oh, you’ll know,” America said with a wink. It was dark out, and I was soooo tired, so I couldn’t tell for sure, but I thought Alex might’ve been blushing. “Alright dudettes!” America yelled as he started walking back towards his car. “Have a good day with Iggy tomorrow! Hopefully what I gave you will make the day more…interesting. Seeya later!” and he got in his car and drove off.  
My friends and I went inside our house, remembering our hectic day. Since it was already late, we all headed straight for bed. As I put on my pajamas and climbed up into my bed, I reflected on the day. Safi’d almost had a mental breakdown, I’d almost shot America in a bad spot, we’d thought Zara had shot herself in the foot, Mari showed what a great shot she was, we’d sung to the 80’s, we’d hugged a whale, I’d been cussed out by an alien, and I’d probably scared away a potential Australian friend.  
So overall a pretty good day!

*Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory  
** …*slowly raises hand* No, seriously, I love designing rooms & stuff and I actually made blueprints for this house.


	11. What Not to Do in England

Oh btw I regret to inform you that this fic’s rating is T because I’m just getting to paranoid about its K+ rating. Don’t worry, this story isn’t going to turn into a lemon or anything XP but I need a little breathing room. Countries gotta swear, (although I’ll keep doing this: F***), gotta drink, and some of them gotsta be pervs *eyeroll*. But overall it won’t affect my writing style so please stick with me!  
Thnx and enjoy the show!

Very, very quietly, we opened the door and snuck into Alex’s room. She was still asleep on that wonderful round bed of hers. I grinned in anticipation, my friends and I shushing each other. Gently, we stroked her arms and head, and then we began to sing softly, although in a rather unorganized way…  
Zara: It’s time to get up, in the morning.  
Safi: (In the morning.)  
Mari: Got MacDonald’s breakfast for you.  
Me: (Just for you.)  
Zara: (Or any other brand…)  
Safi: We drove two miles just to get it.  
Mari: So you’d better get up and eat it.  
Me & Zara: You don’t wanna be a selfish lazy (crazy) girl… (Alex)  
Alex’s bed looked soooo soft and comfy. Was it bouncy too? Time to find out!  
All: So we gotta get up! (Get) Time to get up! It’s time to get up! It’s time to get up! IT’S. TIME. TO. GET. UP. It’s time to get up! (time to get up)  
Safi: IT’S TIME TO GET UP!  
Mari & Me: IT’S TIME!  
Zara: It’s time to get up  
Safi: It’s time toooo  
Mari: SHH!  
Everyone stopped screaming and jumping on Alex and her bed and we returned to the softer volume of before, although we didn’t get off her bed.  
Me: Get up.  
Zara: It’s time.  
Safi: Doobie doo  
Mari & Me: Waaaaaaake (geeeet) UUUP…  
“Time to get up!” Alex exclaimed as she sprung out from under the covers, spreading her arms wide.  
“YAY!” We all yelled and laughed together, continuing to jump on Alex’s bed, this time her with us.  
“Yay for waking up to One Direction!” Zara yelled happily.  
“Yay for English stuff!” Mari shouted, equally as happy. “Yay for getting to see him today!”  
“Nyaaa the British are comin’ the British are comin’!” I yelled as I launched off Alex’s bed, holding my arms out to my sides as I flew out of her room and into the hallway. Making airplane noises, I kept my arms out as I ran down the hall, pretending that I was an F-22 like the Flying Dorito of Doom. That’s right. I’m five. GET OVER IT.  
At the sounds of other airplane noises, I looked over my shoulder to see my friends copying me. “Red tails! Attack!” I yelled as I lead the way sown the spiral staircase, my flock of featherless flying friends (Mari Mari! I made an alliteration! [Mari] That’s nice Lees. Now go back to the story. [Me] Oh poop.) right on my tail. Like a rambunctious little kid, I ran up the awesome circle couch and jumped off the back. For a second, as I flew through the air, I touched greatness. Then my feet hit the cold floor.   
But I didn’t have time to be disappointed because I heard Zara yell “Target acquired!” Before I knew what was happening, I was knocked to the floor and I landed flat on my face with something heavy on my back, the wind knocked out of me.  
“Target has been destroyed! Boo-yah!”  
“* Zara! Get off!” I gasped.   
“No-can-do Leesy!” I could hear Zara’s triumphant smile. “You’re my territory now!”  
Before I could protest any further, a non-female voice screamed. “WHAT THE BLOODY H*** IS GOING ON?!?!?!”  
I turned my head and looked up as Mari yelled, “Hi England!” Sure enough, there was Mr. Eyebrows himself, standing in our living room, staring at us like the crazy people we are.  
“ ‘Sup Iggy?” I grunted and slapped the floor weakly in an attempt to wave.  
A brief look of irritation crossed England’s face as he searched for the source of the sound. When he saw me there on the floor, his big ol’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. Still, he said, “Please don’t call me that,” before he told Zara, “I don’t think being sat on is a very comfortable position for her.”  
“You’d be surprised how much she likes it when I’m on top of her.” I heard Zara respond as I felt her pat my head.  
“ZaraAAA!” I screamed as I thrust myself to my hands and knees quickly, knocking Zara off my back. “That’s so sick! Why would you even say something like that?!”  
Zara didn’t even bother to get up; she just rolled around on the floor laughing. “Get your mind out of the gutter!” she yelled.  
“Who got it in there in the first place?!” I countered as I stood up and planted my foot firmly on Zara’s stomach.  
“Oof! Aughahahahaha!” Zara let out a puff of air when I put my foot on her stomach, but she kept laughing all the same.  
England watched this whole escapade with a ‘Well-that’s-bizarre’ look on his face until Mari drew his attention away.  
“We’re so glad you’re here!” she exclaimed as she glomped him.  
“Th-thank you, I’m glad to be here,” he said with a small smile.  
Mari returned it with a flash of her own pearly whites. “Have you eaten yet?” she asked.  
“Not quite yet. I figured I’d take you girls out for some English cuisine.”  
“You don’t have to do that! Why don’t we make you break-” She glanced at her watch. “Well, brunch I guess. Why don’t we make you some brunch here?”  
“Oh no, thank you, but the gentleman should really provide the food.”  
“Nonsense! We’ll be with you all day! The least we can do is make you some brunch!” Mari turned her smile to us. “Come on guys! Let’s go get some food going!”  
At first I didn’t completely comprehend Mari’s genius. Sure making breakfast here would be cheaper for England and probably healthier for everyone, but…. Wait, healthier. That’s it! We’d definitely stay healthier if we didn’t eat England’s food!  
Naturally, we got to work right away.  
“So are we making waffles, pancakes of French toast?” Safi asked.  
“WAFFLES!’ Zara immediately exclaimed.  
“No, we had waffles last time England was over,” Alex pointed out.  
“Y’allz better shut up so I don’t launch into song!” I said with a laugh. Sobering, I said. “I say pancakes.” Leaning closer in because our kitchen was open and I didn’t necessarily want England to hear this, I whispered, “I doubt he would care for the wonderful toast, whether we call it French of Freedom.”  
“Ze Lees makes a point!” Mari stated with a grin. “Pancakes it is! Some eggs would be good too. Hey England!” she called over to the living room. “How do you like your eggs?”  
“From a chicken.” Zara muttered under her breath and my friends and I laughed.  
England’s head popped out around the corner, a bit of a surprised look on his face. “Um, scrambled is fine love” he answered.  
“… Love?” Safi asked, soft enough for only my friends and I to hear as we all turned to get to work.  
Mari’s face looked puzzled for a moment, but soon realization spread across her face, along with a good amount of redness. “I-It’s just something the Brits say,” she stammered, hurrying to get started on the food.  
The rest of us laughed.  
~~Timeskip-named-timestip!~~  
“Question England.” Alex said, pulling a hoodie on over her Wanted shirt. “How did you get in here anyway?”  
“Yeah England!” Zara added, decked out in her Niall shirt. “You a lock picker?”  
England smiled sarcastically. “Yes, I used my lock-picking skills when I have the house keys right here.” He pulled four identical keys out of his pocket. “America got in yesterday because you forgot to lock the doors. You’d best not do that again. Here, I finally got the replicas made.” He turned to me. “Do you still have the one I gave you two nights ago?”  
I had to think about it, but eventually I remembered that I’d left it on the counter and I went to get it while. England handed out the rest of the keys to my friends. The only thing was I thought I’d left it on the counter… Hm, well I was notorious for loosing things and finding them in obvious places later. I’m sure it’ll turn up, I thought as I followed England and my friends out the door.  
“So where’s your car?” Safi asked, straitening her One Direction shirt.  
“I didn’t bring my car today.” England asked.  
“Then how are we getting you your place?” Alex asked.  
“We’re walking” England answered simply.  
“Walking?” Mari asked. She had Harry Potter sunglasses on her head, matching her Harry Potter shirt. “How are we going to get all the way to your place by walking?”  
“Don’t you remember?” England asked. “Distance is different for countries.”  
“What about the Atlantic Ocean?” Safi asked.  
England paused for a moment, thinking. “It’s best not to think very hard about it.”  
I shrugged nothing British on me. “Good enough for me Iggy.”  
England scowled at me. “Please don’t call me that.”  
I got an idea. Taking up a blank face since I can’t pull off an innocent face like Safi, I said, “What nickname?” hoping to convince him that I was really that stupid.  
England’s huge eyebrows mushed together on his face. “You know perfectly well what nickname!” he exclaimed.  
“Huh?” I said as dumbly as I could manage without being unbelievable or laughing.  
Now England was making incomprehensible sounds of anger, while I tried desperately just to keep my face strait by biting down on my tongue nearly hard enough to draw blood, while my friends snickered around me. “Are you serious?!” England fumed. “Can you possibly be as stupid as that American and that Italian?!”  
Inwardly I wondered if I should be offended since I was both, but outwardly I tried to look as close to oblivious as I could get.  
Finally, Englandcalmed down and sighed. “Iggy.” He muttered under his breath.  
“Huh? Whadid you say?”  
“Iggy! I said Iggy, alright?! Iggy Iggy IGGY!!!”  
“… Mission accomplished.” I said, briefly snapping back in a normal, satisfied me before my friends and I broke out into an absolute laughing fit.  
“C-Come on England,” Mari tried to keep her laughter down as she took England’s arm and turned him away. “Why don’t you take us to your place now?”  
England grumbled a bit under his breath, muttering something about ‘Yankees’, and I was tempted to call him a Limey, but I held my tongue.  
Instead, Safi, Zara, Alex and I entertained ourselves by singing different One Direction and the Wanted songs as we followed England. Mari stayed up front with him, conversing with him about this and that. Before we knew it, we were actually strolling through the streets of London.  
“Wh-where did… H-how did…” Mari stammered, completely flabbergasted like the rest of us.  
“England’s magical!” Zara exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down in happiness.  
Safi gasped. “That’s the first time we’ve ever said that and it’s been true!”  
“This day shall go down in history!” Alex proclaimed, striking a familiarly epic pose.  
England looked a bit proud of himself, like he enjoyed our excitement over something that was so simple for him. “Shall I give you a tour then?” he asked.  
“Please do!” Mari said with an excited grin.  
England gave her a small smile back, a real one not a self-satisfied one, and offered his arm to her.  
Mari took it tentatively, turning her face away for a bit and I could see her blushing madly. “He’s just being a gentleman.” I heard her mutter repeatedly, like she was trying to convince herself.  
We hadn’t been walking for long when I realized how unusually quiet my friends were being. I mean, it is us after all. “Why so quiet guys?” I asked as I turned around to face…the air.  
“OMIGOSH THEY’RE GONE!!!” I screamed immediately.  
“WHAT?!” Mari yelled, whirling around to also see that Safi, Alex and Zara were all gone. “Where’d they go?!”  
“N-Now don’t panic!” England said, trying to calm Mari down. “I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.  
Meanwhile, I had no one to comfort me, so I was having a mental breakdown somewhat similar to when mothers realize that their child has gone missing. What if they’d been- LEES YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH TAKEN!!! I immediately thrust that thought out of my mind. It’s an anime, and a comedy one I’m sure. “We have to find them!” I exclaimed, going into calm-through-crisis mode. “They could be anywhere!”  
“Let’s go!” Mari yelled, grabbing England and dragging him along as she and I sprinted down the street, calling for our friends.  
“Here Ducky Ducky! Safi! Alex! Where are you?!”  
“Red Robin!”…  
“Flowers! Australians! Waffles!”  
“What’s the capitol of Pittsburg?!” “Potatoes!”  
I whirled around, my call having been answered, but I only saw Mari. “… Oh, that’s right. That’s just our thing.”  
We kept on running and calling, and dragging England along with us, until a bench told us to “Shut the flip up!”  
… Wait.  
Mari and I skidded to a halt, but England kept going. He flung forward on momentum, but Mari clung on to his hand none the less. In result, England snapped backwards as if Mari’s arm was elastic and he smacked into her, knocking them both to the ground. It reminded me of One Piece.  
Anyway, I looked at the park bench and sure enough, three pairs of eyes were peeking out from behind it.  
“There you guys are!” I exclaimed, relieved but exasperated at their safety at the same time. “What are you guys doing?!”  
They giggled. “Watching the show,” Alex said, pointing at the ground behind me.  
I followed her finger and saw England and Mari in a very awkward position. They were both on the ground, England was sprawled out on top of Mari, and both of them were moaning in pain. England had a rather large, round bump on his head. A small crowd of Brits, all with rather thick eyebrows, were gathering around the pair, uttering exclamations such as, “By George!” and “Blimey!”  
It was extremely funny, but I didn’t want Mari to get too embarrassed, so I channeled Cal Lightman and let loose a heavy British accent. “Oi! Move along now! Nothin’ to see ‘ere!” I said loudly, shooing the crowd away, trying to keep the rest of my Lightman imitation at bay. Sadly I didn’t need to channel all of his weirdness, just the accent.  
Once the spectators had dispersed, I pulled England off of Mari and rolled him onto the sidewalk. I grabbed Mari’s arms, slung one over my shoulder and pulled her to her feet”  
She moaned. “What happened?”  
“I’ll explain later,” I said as I let go and Mari steadied herself. “But we found the guys-WHAT?!” I screamed as I turned to see that there was no one behind the bench.  
“Where’d they go?!” Mari exclaimed, looking behind, under and around the park bench.  
“Why do they keep running off?...” I wondered.  
Mari shook her head. “That doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we find them. “Where’s England?”  
I pointed to the sorry sap on the ground.  
Mari gasped when she saw him. “England! Are you okay?!”  
“Mrs. Fairy! Mrs. Fairy! Ahahahahaha!” Britain laughed in his sleep.  
Without saying a word, Mari and I picked him up. I threw England’s knees over my shoulders, grabbing his legs as Mari wrapped her arms around his armpits. Just like that, we ran off to look for our friends…again.  
~~*sobbing for lack of Doctor Who references in this chapter*~~  
Oddly enough, they found us first.  
“Mari! Leesy!” Safi yelled as she ran up to us.  
“Safi!” I yelled as I dropped England and glomped Safi.  
Mari was a little nicer than me, so she actually set England down gently before also glomping Safi.  
“Are you alright? Did you get doped-up??” I asked.  
“I’m fine, and…what?” Safi asked. She shook her head. “Never mind. You gotta come hop us! Zara has-… What happened to him?” she pointed at the Brit.  
“Later.” Mari stated quickly. “What happened to Zara?”  
Safi’s eyes widened in remembrance. “You have to come quick! Come on!” So she took up England’s legs, Mari took up his head again, and I got underneath and supported his torso.   
Safi led us down the street and to the park, where we found Alex and Zara. Alex was literally rolling on the ground, laughing as Zara shook a fake blond boy by the collar. “WHERE’S THE REAL NIALL?!” she screamed.  
Quickly, the three of us ran across the street with England, and Mari and Safi set him down on a park bench while I kept running towards Zara and tackled her off the boy to the ground.  
“He’s an imposter!” Zara snarled as she fought to escape my grip and grab the boy. “Let me at him!’  
The boy scuffled away, he’s eyes filled with real terror. “Y-You’re insane!” he yelled as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted away.  
“Lees! You let him get away!” Zara screamed.  
I sighed. “I know,” I said, watching Safi calm Alex down while Mari stayed with England. “But we have bigger problems. We have to take our guide home.”  
Eventually, Safi and I got Zara and Alex to come back to Britain and Mari. Once we were all together, we got right to work. In England’s pocket we found his wallet, which contained his address. We consulted a ‘bobbie’, (Safi had to cover Zara’s mouth to keep her from laughing.), which is a British cop, and luckily the place wasn’t far from here. The bobbie did question why England was knocked out, but luckily Alex covered that. “Drunk.” She said. “A little early for that, I know. That’s what we told him.” He offered to call a cab for us but we didn’t know if anything in Britain’s home would reveal that he is a country so we insisted that we could take him there ourselves. Following the cop’s directions, we soon found England’s house. Searching his pockets again, Zara found his house key and opened the door while the rest of us carried Britain inside and dumped him on the nearest couch.  
“Safi,” I panted. Carrying a guy around, even if you had your friends with and it wasn’t that far, was a difficult feat. “Go see if you can make some tea. Zara, help her look for the kitchen, but leave the actual cooking to her. Alex, you come with me. Mari, stay here with England.”  
Alex and I soon found the bathroom, and she grabbed the first aid kit while I took a wet washrag and we ran back to Mari, who immediately bandaged the rather bulbous bump on his head and put the wet washrag on his forehead.   
Moaning a bit, England opened his eyes. “What the-” he said. “How did I get home? What happened?”  
“You hit your head,” Mari explained. “We found everyone else and then brought you home.”  
“Erg,” England grunted sitting himself up as Safi and Zara re-entered the room with a full tea set, complete with sugar, cream and a full pot of tea. “Why were you running?” he asked the two of them and Alex.  
The three of them looked at each other, and I had a feeling I knew why. “We…may have been looking for One Direction.” Zara said.  
“And the Wanted.” Safi added.  
England sighed. “You do realize that the chances of either of those groups being out in public in London are very slim right?”  
“Hey, peeps’ gotta dream.” She said. “Besides, this is an anime.”  
Sighing again, England said, “Well, thank you all for taking me home. I must admit that I feel rather foolish now.” He admitted, blushing slightly. Then he saw the tea set. “Ah, I see that you have made tea.” He said, looking at the clock. “Right on time too.” He took a cup.  
Safi’s eyes widened and she reached out as if to stop him, but England began talking again before she could. “Tea is obviously better than coffee, don’t you think?” and he took a sip. Suddenly, Britain’s huge eyebrows shot up as his eyes went comically wide. “Hot-hot-hot-hot-ho—...!” he sputtered as he spit out the tea. Once the hot liquid was out, England cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed. “First of all, pour the milk ahead," he said with a bit of a sheepish smile as Safi handed the cream to him and my friends and I couldn’t help but giggle a bit.  
“Um England?” Mari said, trying to hold back her everlasting smile. “You have a little bit of tea on your shirt.  
England looked down and his face went a bit red when he saw just how much ‘a little bit of’ tea was on his shirt. “If I may excuse myself,’ he said as he stood up. “I think I’ll go change into a fresh shirt.” And with that he sort of speed-walked out of the room.  
Meanwhile, the rest of us relaxed. Safi passed out tea to everyone as we sat back and reflected on all that had just happened. While I was dumping a large amount of cream and sugar into my tea, since I had never had enough tea to know if I liked it or not, I noticed that a look of first realization and then mischievousness crossed across her face.  
“Guys,” she said, breaking the silence. “I think I know what to use this for now.” Out of her pocket, Alex pulled a small, black flask.  
“Alex! Safi gasped. “You’re not supposed to drink! Remember the energy drinks escapade?”  
“Best. Day. Ever.” Zara giggled.  
“It’s not for me!” Alex exclaimed to Safi as she wrestled with her to keep the flask out of Safi’s hands. “For him!” she jerked her head towards the hall by which England had left the room.  
“… You’re going to spike his tea?” I asked.  
Alex nodded, her grin becoming infectious.  
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Mari said warily. “Hasn’t he been through enough today?”  
“Aw c’mon!” Alex said. “He’s fine now. You saw how fast he recovered. Besides, America said that this would make today more interesting. That must mean that England’s reaction to stuff like this is really over the top! Don’t you wanna see it?”  
I was torn. Sure, it was kind of mean, but I really wanted to see what would happen…  
“Do it, do it, do it,” Zara began chanting, pounding lightly on the table. I soon found myself chanting along with her.  
Safi too looked conflicted, but she was quickly coming over to the dark side. “Do it, do it, do it,” she joined in.  
Mari looked extremely nervous and conflicted at the same time, however she too looked like she wanted to know what would happen. “Oh, just hurry up and do it before I change my mind,” she said, looking away.  
“Okay,” Alex giggled. “Here I go!” And she proceeded to pour as much alcohol as could be held in the teacup without looking suspicious.  
No sooner than the flask was back in Alex’s pocket did Britain come back with a clean shirt on. “I’m terribly sorry about that,” England said as he sat down with us. “But at least now we can begin.” He took a sip from his tea and made a funny face. I stiffened. “Hm, it’s got an…interesting flavor to it.” He stated, taking another sip. “Not half bad though,” and he continued drinking.  
Subconsciously sipping what was probably 90% milk, I watched England intently. How strong was the stuff in the flask? When would it take affect? How strongly would England react? These questions were to be answered momentarily.  
“Wow,” England said, sinking back into his chair instead of sitting up strait like a sir. “I haven’t had tea this good since…since…since I don’t know when!” he took a sip. “Reminds me of the time I went drinking with America.” England chuckled, staring off into space as if remembering better times. “Bloody wanker, that one. I raised him you know, and what good did I ever get from it?” England drained his cup. “Ah, but he was so adorable as a child.” Suddenly, his eyes widened. “I have a picture of him! I’ll be right back!” and with that England ran out of the room, strangely energized.  
“More! Give him more!” Zara giggled madly.  
“Um, guys, I don’t think-” Mari tried to protest, but Alex was already filling England’s cup and Safi was putting in just enough tea to make it look believable.  
England came in quicker this time, so Alex quickly tossed the flask to me. I tried to keep my giggles down as England took another sip of ‘teat. He set the picture down on the table. The picture was of an adorable kid-America sitting on the lap of an actually happy-looking England.  
“Lookit tha’ git,” England’s accent was really coming through now. “Bloody cute, ‘e was,” England drained his cup. “But ‘e grew up so fahst! One day I leave ‘an he’s just a lad, I come back later and suddenly ‘e’s taller than me!” England stretched his hand up to indicate America’s height, but he leaned back too far and fell off his chair.  
While Mari was trying to help him up, I tossed the flask back to Alex and she filled England’s cup.  
Once Mari saw what Alex was doing, she made fast cutting motions with her hands. “No more!” she hissed franticly.  
“Last one!” Alex giggled back like the maniac she was.  
I probably shouldn’t judge; I wasn’t exactly doing anything to help.  
Mari yanked England upwards by his arm, and the Brit scrabbled clumsily at the table. Somehow, she got him back into his chair, where he sat all sprawled out. Safi hadn’t had time to put any tea in England’s cup, but he was already so drunk that he didn’t even notice that his tea was 100% not tea as he chugged the whole thing down in one gulp. He also didn’t notice how Alex, Safi, Zara and I were leaning on each other in some sort of a pile, trying desperately not to burst out laughing.  
“Lookat the time! A’ight let’s go!” England started to get up, but he tripped over his own chair and down he went yet again. He was topping both Zara and I in clumsiness.  
Mari rushed to catch the Brit and she ended up with one of his arms awkwardly around her shoulders. “And just where are you going?” She grunted under his weight.  
“Ta Buckin’am Palace!” England proclaimed, throwing his arms out wide, also throwing off Mari’s balance.  
“Not like that you’re not!” Mari exclaimed and she half-threw him onto the couch. “Guys!” she turned to us with an exasperated expression. “Help me out here!  
It occurred to me that I probably wasn’t being the best friend, not helping poor Mari out, so I forced myself out of my giggle fit and stood up. “Alright,” I said. “Safi, Alex, go make England a big pot of coffee, but Safi, don’t let Alex drink any. Zara, you and I are going to call a cab. England, where is your phonebook?”  
Eventually we were able to get the location of the phonebook out of England. I found it while Zara found a phone and she called for a cab. When we came back into the living room, we were surprised to see England lying on the couch being drunk (not surprising) with a red, swollen cheek. Standing across the room from him was Mari, who looked completely horrified and was clutching her hand. “He…he kissed me!” Mari exclaimed, her eyes wide in shock.  
“WHAT?!” Zara and I shouted.  
“And we missed it?!” Zara yelled. “Guys! England kissed Mari!” she ran screaming down the hall.  
I grabbed Mari’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “Mari, are you going to be okay?” I asked.  
“No!” she exclaimed, getting more and more upset. “He just kissed me! On the lips! And I slapped him!”  
“Calm down Mari!” I said as I made her sit on the couch, placing myself between her and the Brit. “He’s drunk, remember? It’s alright.”  
At that moment, Zara, Alex and Safi rushed into the room all at once. “He KISSED her?!” they all screamed.  
“Yes!” I yelled back. “Now give me the coffee.  
“The car’s here,” Safi said, looking out the window.  
“Already?!” Alex exclaimed.  
“Okay,” I sighed, getting ready for action and ignoring the utter defiance of the laws of the universe that had just occurred outside. “Mari, come on, we gotta go now. The rest of you, help me get this bloody wanker into the car.”  
Somehow, we managed to do just that. Neither my friends, the driver nor I thought it was a very good idea to bring a drunk to Buckingham after visiting hours, but once England clumsily showed the driver something from his wallet, the driver suddenly helped us all into the car and drove without another word. We let Mari take the front seat since she’d been through a lot in only a few minutes, so the rest of us were crammed in the back with a completely wasted England.   
Eventually we did arrive at Buckingham Palace. England paid the driver and told him to “keep the change.” In a loud screeching of tires the cab sped away, going 0-60 more quickly than possible anywhere else but in an anime.  
England stumbled up to the front gate. Standing outside of it were those guards with the gigantic furry hats.  
“Ooooooh my gosh!” Alex squealed as she ran up to one. “Can I try on your hat?” she asked.  
The guard didn’t acknowledge her.  
“Hey! Down here! Yoo-hoo!” she called, jumping up and down. “Hey mister! Hey! Hey! Hey mister! Hey!”  
“Alex,” Safi said, putting her hands on Alex’s shoulders. “They’re trained not to respond to anything!”  
Alex stared right into Safi’s eyes for the longest time. Finally, she said, “You know you want to.”  
Safi’s eyebrows went up and her mouth opened as if to answer with some retort…but then she smiled. “Leesy?” she turned towards me with the face.  
Oh no. Not the face.  
“FUDGE!” I screamed as I ran towards them, arms waving in the air like Woody. “Mari come on!” I yelled without looking over my shoulder.  
Sure enough, soon all four of us were trying our hardest to make the guards crack.  
“Oi,” England said, still drunk but at least he was taking sips of coffee. “Don’t they know it’s useless?” he asked Zara.  
Wait, Zara? Why wasn’t she doing this with us?? This sort of thing was right up her alley!  
My friends and I realized this and we all turned to stare at her.  
Zara stood there, watching us with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face, looking incredibly mature, especially for her. “Amateurs,” she said, brushing her black and purple hair out of her face. “Let me show you how it’s done.” she walked up to us. “Well, don’t stop! Keep going!”  
None of us questioned her. We did as we were told. If there was only one person in the world who could get them to crack, it was Zara.  
So we went right back to doing what we’d been doing before. I didn’t want to look down to reveal what Zara was doing, but out of the bottom of my eye I could see her bending over. A while later, she stood up and said, “Okay guys. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. Just give up already.”  
This seemed oddly uncharacteristic, which is why we decided to follow her. She led us back to England, who was just sitting there on the ground. “Well, if you’re all done ‘avin’ fun now” he said. “I’ll get us in for real.” He walked up to the guards, who apparently knew him because they all turned and saluted him. Most of them anyway. The very one who we had been trying to get a reaction out of, turned and fell flat on his face. Looking at his feet, we could see that his shoelaces had been tied together.  
“OMIGOSH!!!” we all screamed and fell on our butts laughing. There were tears in my eyes, but something still worried me. “L-Listen,” I said, crawling up to the guard, since I was laughing too hard to walk. “We’re so sorry. We didn’t mean to-” I wiped the tears out of my eyes and got a good look at the soldier. His shoulders were shaking. Was he crying? … No…. he was laughing!  
“Th-tha’ was right jolly, mate!” He cried with a Scottish accent. Lifting off his hat, I could now see a young man with green eyes, dark blond hair and a goofy smile on his face. “I ‘aven’t been got that good in a long time!”  
Not exactly the reaction you’d have expected from a England royal guard.  
“H-Howard?!” England yelled as he stumbled over to us. “Is tha’ you?!”  
‘Howard’ looked up. “England!” he said with a huge grin. “Good ta see ya mate!”  
“You two know each other?” Mari asked as she and the rest of my friends came over.  
“Oh yeah!” England staggered over. “ ’E helped me escape captivity during WWII! I needed a bit of ‘elp being Italian in order to cross the border, and ‘e just ‘appened to be in the neighborhood!”  
“WWII?” Safi asked, her eyes wide. “Wasn’t that, like, almost seventy years ago?!”  
“Sure was!” Howard said happily as he began untying his shoelaces. “For ‘elpin’ ‘im, Englandn let me be immortal for as long as I want! It’s been great!” He looked up at England and smiled a bit bigger. “ ‘You’re lookin’ a bit wasted, eh mate?” he asked the country.  
“Wha are you talking’ about?” England asked. “I’m completely sober!”  
Howard laughed good-naturedly. “Sure ya are mate,” he said. “What’re you doin’ here anyways? A bit late to be at the queen’s place and with these girls don’t ya think?”  
From there, we had to explain (cuz England was hardly in good condition to be explaining things) who we were and how England had insisted on bringing us here.  
“Sounds like you ladies have been through quite the day!” he laughed. “Well, let me ‘elp you out. My shift’s almost over, and I can ‘elp you get ‘ome.”  
After a bit of protesting from England, Howard was eventually able to convince him to let him help. Soon he had England in a cab and on the way home and us on a private double decker bus to take us home. As soon as we’d said goodbye to Howard and the bus began moving, I immediately ran up to the second level, dragging my friends with me. I’ve always wanted to ride on the top of a double decker bus, and now was my chance! “This is so cool!” I squealed happily.  
“Lees! Look at this!” Mari called.   
I turned around to see what she was pointing at, and my mouth dropped open. “Oh. My. Gosh.”  
Across the top of the bus was one, long sky roof, stretching from the left side of the bus to the right. Through it, I could see the night sky.  
“Do you think…?” Safi asked.  
Alex and Zara looked at each other, smiled and began to climb up the seats of the bus, the rest of us right behind them. We crouched on top of the seats, and together we pushed the sky roof open. A sudden gust of air rushed through the window, cool but refreshing.   
I instantly knew what I wanted to do. Standing strait up, I stuck the upper half of my body out of the sky roof and into the cool air. All around me were the lights of London at night. It was beautiful.  
My friends joined me out the top, and once we were all up we joined hands and raised them high.  
~~HOWARD! *SQUEE!*~~  
The bus took us all the way home. While the drive didn’t take as long as it would have if we’d actually driven from England to our house (if that would’ve been possible), the trip wasn’t as quick as it would’ve been if England had been with us, so we got home late. Many things had happened on the bus on the ride home, stuff I’m not allowed to tell you about because we made a pact ;) but let’s just say that we were all exhausted by the time we got home. So we dragged our sorry carcasses off the bus, thanked the driver, and staggered into our house. We bid each other goodnight, laughing briefly at the crazy day, and we all went straight to bed.  
I know I KNOW it’s a sucky chapter with an equally sucky ending. Hopefully you bros can deal until I get into a better grove with these long chapters I’ve been spitting out lately. Well, anyhow, thanks for reading. I love you guys! Please don’t kill me!


	12. Frog-Faced Francy-Pants

Alright! Stay awesome!... No Prussia intended.  
Prussia: ALL ZE PRUSSIA INTENED!!!  
PRUSSIA LEAVE IT’S NOT YOUR TIME YET!  
Prussia: But zis is ze 12th chapter and ze awesome me hasn’t made an awesome entrance yet!  
SHUT UP YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BRO & I PROMISE I WON’T FORGET YOU!!!  
Prussia: … Oh fine.  
Good boy.  
Prussia: I AM NOT ZE DOG!!!  
:D

“Ow ow OW!”  
“Lees! Get offa him!!”  
I looked up from the man’s back I was kneeling on, digging my knees into his spine, pinning his arms behind his back with one hand and gripping him by his hair with my other. “… What?” I asked in a daze. I could’ve sworn I had just been asleep in my bed, yet here I was causing probably unbearable pain to this guy who was both taller and most certainly stronger than me. … Wait… Yes, there had been a scream. One of my friends had screamed. Almost instantly it seemed, I’d been down from my loft bed, out of my room and down the stairs, then I’d rushed the first non-female figure I’d seen. Yes, that was how I’d gotten here.  
I looked down as the man screamed again.  
“S'il vous plait!” he howled. “Je me rends! Avoir pitié!!”  
That and the shoulder-length wavy blond hair made me recognize him.  
Oh fudge.  
I immediately scrambled off of France, releasing his arms and hair and letting him breathe again. “G-Geez France!” I exclaimed, a bit horrified at what I’d just done. “I’m sorry about that! I heard a scream and I just… I just…” Aw heck, I didn’t even know!  
France pushed himself up into a sitting position, first pressing his hands against his back and arching backwards, then rolling his shoulder, and then rubbing his hair. “Do not worry about, ma Cherie,” he said with a genuine smile, which made me go, How can he possibly be okay with that?! I just assaulted him!! “No ‘arm done; I’ve been zrough worse.”  
Still, after I stood I offered my hand to France and helped him up. That was a bit of a mistake because once he was on his feet he didn’t release my hand. Instead, he pulled me into his embrace and held me close. “Besides,” he said seductively, his face not far from mine. “I do not mind ze aggressive type.”  
In a Ranma-ish fashion, my fist hit France’s face at the exact same time my friends’ elbows came down on his head, making France crumble to the ground.  
I stood by my friends, watching those odd round, anime lumps form on France’s head. “So who screamed?” I asked as I went to the freezer.  
“I did.” I heard Mari say. “I just came downstairs to get breakfast started when I found him in the kitchen. He didn’t try anything; he just startled me, that’s all.”  
“And the rest of you?” I asked as I shut the freezer door, icepack in hand as I faced my friends.  
“I was coming down for my morning chai tea.” Safi said.  
“I was getting hungry so I was coming down for some food.” said Zara.  
“Zara dragged me out of bed because she wanted me to make her waffles.” Alex added.  
“Then we heard Mari.” They said together.  
I nodded in acknowledgement, then I walked over to France and put the icepack on the large bump. I really did feel sorry for him. He hadn’t known what was coming. “Help me carry him to the couch?” I asked my friends, but then the country stood up by himself.  
France held the icepack to his head with one hand and put the other on his hip. He didn’t look beat-up anymore; in fact he stood up strait and tall with a dashing smile. How could he recover so fast? He reminded me of someone… Hm… “Well I must say zat I am impressed!” he said. “When you ladies zreatoned me a few days ago, I must say zat I didn’t quite believe you. You don’t exactly look like ze type ‘oo could take down a full-grown man, especially you,” he said to me. “‘Ow did you do zat exactly?” he asked.  
To be honest, I had no idea. True none of us were very strong, but I was for sure the weakest of our group.  
“I don’t know,” I said. “Adrenaline I guess.”  
France tipped his head briefly to the side and nodded. “Well anyways, I promise now zat I won’t make any more advances on you, Mademoiselles. Although,” France winked flirtatiously. “I am a completely unstoppable flirt.”  
I sighed, “Fair enough.” I said tiredly, but then I gave a small smile.  
No one said anything for a while, then Zara burst out “FRANCE YOU READ DIRTY BOOKS!!!”  
“… Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”I, the rest of my friends, and France all said.  
“Don’t you guys remember?” Zara asked. “When we were in the meeting building hiding in the closet, we found all those dirty books in there! Well who else’s would they be?”  
“Zara!” Safi exclaimed exasperatedly. “You don’t just go and say that!”  
“But what if it’s true?” Alex asked. “Wouldn’t that make sense? You’re kind of a perv France.”  
France nodded a bit. “While zat is true,” he said. “I do not look at dirty books. Why use zose when you can have ze real zing?” France smiled seductively.  
“TMI!” I shouted.  
“True,” Mari said. “Although that does make sense.”  
I thought about it for a moment, then I said, “So it does. Still, if they weren’t France’s whose were they?”  
“I honestly don’t care,” Mari stopped me. “and personally I’d rather not know.”  
“… Yeah,” my friends and I agreed.  
Before anything else could be said, France sniffed the air, his eyes widened and he rushed to our oven, throwing on some oven mists and opening it. “Ouf!” he exclaimed in a relieved voice. “My croissants didn’t burn!”  
A smell that was something close to heavenly wafted from the oven, being visible only because it is an anime. Also due to the anime-ness, me and my friends’ faces changed to absurd drooling ones. We hadn’t eaten since we’d made England breakfast, if you didn’t count the failed teatime, and we were starving.  
France noticed our faces and chuckled. “Once it cools, you may eat.” He told us.  
We waited the last possible amount of time before eating the croissants. We burned our mouths, but we didn’t care.  
“Mon dieu,” France said as he watched us stuff our faces, despite the fact that our faces were smoking. “Why are you all so ‘ungry?”  
“Werfhafetnsesyesday!” Zara said with her mouth full.  
“She said we haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Safi explained.  
“Porquoi?” France asked.  
Mari swallowed her steaming food before answering, “We didn’t really get the chance to eat any food.”  
“I suppose zat would be for ze best,” France said with a smug smile. “It’s better zat you not eat England’s food.”  
“So France, how’d you get in here anyway? I’m positive I locked the door last night.” Alex said before eating another croissant like it was the simplest thing in the world, when in reality, did that count as breaking-and-entering?  
“Well getting into any ‘ouse is easy if you ‘ave ze key!” France said smartly as he pulled out a house key. Wait a second. That was my house key.  
“Hey!” I protested with food in my mouth like a sir. “I was looking for that!”  
France laughed and tossed me the key. “I was wondering ‘oose this was.” he said.  
Not long after that, the doorbell rang. Wait, we have a doorbell? No one had used it since we moved in.  
“I’ll get it!” Zara exclaimed as she jumped up and ran for the door. We could hear her talking to the person outside for a bit, then she yelled inside, “Hey guys! Do we know a Slamz?”  
“Slamz?” Safi asked.  
“Yeah! S-L-A-M-Z, SLAMZ!”  
“… Wait a second. SLAMZ, that’s us! Safi, Lees, Alex, Mari and Zara!”  
“Oh! Well then, can I get some help guys? I don’t want to drop this.”  
Intrigued, France, my friends and I got up to see what Zara needed help holding. We found her standing in the doorway holding a large bouquet of flowers in a glass vase. It was Zara, so it was probably a good idea to take it. So France took it from her and brought it over to the table.  
“Who’s it from?” Alex asked.  
I pulled down the little tag on the flowers that said, ‘To: S, L, A, M & Z’ on the front. Opening it, I read aloud, “Dear S, L, A, M &Z, I am terribly sorry for yesterday. I believe that wanker America must have snuck in and spiked my tea. Anyway, I wish that you hadn’t seen me in such an unstately manor, especially you Mari. I beg forgiveness for advancing on you in a most ungentlemanly way. I promise that when I see you next I will most certainly not be drunk. With love, England.”  
We all turned to look at Mari. She was blushing profusely, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, but she couldn’t hide the smile on her face.  
“Ohonhonhon, what exactly ‘appened yesterday?” France asked pervily.  
My friends and I looked at each other. Finally, I said in a fast voice, “Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift that’s why it’s called the present* so let’s get a move on people!”  
Everyone took my cue and we raced upstairs, got ready and meet France back downstairs. He, like England, would be walking us to his house. Across the ocean. I still didn’t get that.  
“Hey wait guys,” Alex said as we all trooped down the path. “There’s something in the mailbox.”  
Sure enough, the flag was up. Alex reached inside and pulled out a letter. “Alfred f. Jones,” she read aloud. “Do we know an Alfred?”  
“Zat would be America’s ‘uman name. We all use ‘uman names for public situations.” France explained. “What does it say?” he asked, smiling mischievously as he reached for the letter.  
Alex whipped the letter out of France’s reach. “I believe it’s addressed to ‘the Dudettes’, not France. It’s illegal to read other people’s mail, at least in America, so hands off.”  
The rest of us took that as a cue to gather around Alex and read over her shoulders. The handwriting was extremely hard to read, but I’m one to talk. It read, ‘Heya dudettes! I saw that you put what I gave you to good use! Nice job Alex! You shoulda seen England this morning! He was totally under a blanket having a major hangover yo! It was freakin’ hilarious! Anywho England already blames me, so don’t worry about being found out or anything. It’s no problem for me, so just forget about it and go have some fun with Francy-pants! But if he tries anything just call the hero and I’ll come rescue you! I hope you get this letter cuz I haven’t written one for a while now and I have no idea if I did it right. –America’  
“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Alex said happily.  
“In a weird way,” Safi said what we were all thinking.  
Nevertheless, Alex still folded up the letter and put it in her pocket.  
From there, France led us to his place. Again, we weren’t paying much attention. Safi, Alex and Mari were practicing their French with France, while Zara and I tried desperately to use our knowledge of Spanish and our minute knowledge of French to decipher what they were saying. Needless to say it didn’t work out too well. So instead Zara and I pretended to speak French by plugging our noses and saying the few French words we knew with outrageous French accents. We earned some laughs from our friends and some hurt looks from France, but we were able to convince him that we were just kidding.  
Just as before, in hardly any time at all we ended up in Paris.  
“Welcome to Paris!” France exclaimed, and in one flamboyant and rather sparkly moment, he whipped five red roses out of thin air. “For you, ma cherries,” he said with a sweeping bow as he held out the roses and we each took one.  
Safi must be having a really good day, I thought as I watched her hold her rose tenderly. First a big bouquet of flowers, then roses, geez.  
“So whadaya got planned for us Francy-pants?” Zara asked.  
“Well,” France said with a smile. “I zought first we could go to ze Lourve-”  
Alex and I gasped. “The Louvre?” she asked. “Did you just say the Louvre?”  
France looked at me curiously. “Oui,” he said.  
I clasped my hands over my mouth, trying desperately not to completely flip out. “You’re serious right now? You’re not joshing me?”  
“… Non…”  
“… Omigosh, omigosh we’re going to the Louvre! Guys! We’re going to one of the largest art museums on the planet! Oh my frikin’ gosh!”  
“Are you meaning to tell me zat you are also an art fans?” France asked a bit excitedly.  
“That’s an understatement,” Mari said with a grin.  
“THANK YOU!” Alex and I cried, and we actually hugged the perv. I know, not smart right? But we were too euphoric to care.  
Luckily, France stayed true to his word and didn’t try anything. Instead he grabbed our hands and we both began jumping up and down in excitement. The rest of our friends eventually joined us just for the heck of it. We must’ve been quite the sight: five American girls and a flamboyant Frenchman celebrating like this out in the open, but I couldn’t care less.  
“Well what are we waiting for?!” France exclaimed. “Allons-y!” and he ran for the Louvre, the rest of us close behind. When we got there, my first thought was, Wow. That is big. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised but,… Geez, was it huge!  
“How are we going to do this?” Mari asked. “There’s no way we can see the whole thing in one day.”  
I tried not to melt out of sadness like Tamaki Sempai.  
“I have an idea!” Alex spoke up. “Let’s have a contest!”  
“What sort of competition are we talking about?” France said, interested.  
Alex took her smartphone out of her pocket. “Everyone gets a half hour to run around different sections of the Louvre, taking pictures together in some sort of album. The person to take the most pictures wins.”  
Everyone thought that sounded like fun, so France got each of us a map. He would take each of us to our designated sections, he’d be checking in on us during the hour, making sure we were okay and stuff.  
“Remember,” Mari said as we all got our phones ready. “They have to be good pictures. No blurry run-byes, that means you Zara.”  
“Aw man!”  
France took us all to our sections. I was the last to reach mine, so I got to see lots of art on the way.  
Needless to say, I was pretty happy.  
Soon we were all ready to go and France sent the starting text. As soon as I received it, I was off. I passed so many different works as we went, but I could only glance at them as we went by. My section was The Italian Renaissance, which made me even happier because this was one of my favorite periods in history.

I passed St. Sebastian, Portrait of Baldassare Castiglione, and St. John the Baptist; Christ Carrying the Cross, The Allegory of the Liberal Arts, and Portrait of Il Condottiero stopping to marvel at them all. Each one was a challenge to pull myself way from, but I wanted to see as much as I possibly could. The Battle of San Romano, The Wedding Feast at Cana, The Pastoral Concert; The Beautiful Nani, The Entombment of Christ, St. Michael Slaying the Devil, all were beautiful, but it wasn’t until I found a certain one that I froze.

I saw it on the screen of my phone first, then I lowered it to see the real thing. I couldn’t believe it. I was standing in front of the real Mona Lisa. How many times had I seen pictures of this painting, but here was the real deal. I, like many others, was mystified by her. There was the smile, although de Vinci often painted people with smirks, hers actually went down on one side and up on the other. Then there was the uneven background, but that could be explained by a simple change in elevation, and then the large hands. I was a minor supporter of the theory that the Mona Lisa could be de Vinci’s idea of what he would have looked like as a girl, which could explain the hands, but I still didn’t know. It was truly a masterpiece. I idolized Leonardo de Vinci. I thought he was a complete genius, and he was. I mean, he had ideas for parachutes, tanks, helicopters and many more, centuries before they were invented. He had also revolutionized art for the whole world. I could only dream of ever being even remotely like him.

Eventually though, I would have to keep going, so I took a good picture of the Mona Lisa, took one last gaze at her, then I tore myself away.

It wasn’t long after that when I saw someone familiar. A long ways down the hall, there was a small girl, about my age, taking pictures of artwork with her phone. The girl had black hair with purple streaks.  
“Zara.” I growled as I started to run towards her. This was my section! I wasn’t going to let her sabotage my minute chances of winning. Screw the fact that there was no prize, Zara was going to get PWND.  
My target saw me coming only when I was about ten feet away. She shrieked, unable to hide her huge smile, and took off. Zara may be faster than me, but I was already going full-steam ahead by the time she’d just began running, so I soon caught up to her. Well, more like barreled (BARRELS**) into her.  
Carried by our momentum, we rolled several feet in a ball before I finally pinned her beneath me. “Zara!” I puffed, nearly out of energy. “This is my section! What’re you doing here?!”  
Zara giggled crazily, puffing not nearly as much as I was. “I’m going to win Leesy.” She said evilly, and before I could stop her Zara poked her fingers into my sides.  
I yelped and my legs automatically launched me off of and away from Zara, allowing her to jump up and escape. “ZARAAAAAAA!” I screamed at her, but Zara just sped accelerated crazy-fast and out of sight, laughing like the madwoman she is. Sighing, I picked myself up off the floor, mentally cursing how out-of-shape I was, and continued taking pictures, not allowing myself as much time to look at the art as I had before.  
~~Art timeskip~~  
When I got the ‘time’s up’ text, I put my phone away and took out my map. Luckily I’m no Ryoga; I have a sense of direction and can use a map, so I soon made it to our meeting place. All my friends and France were there already, but it didn’t seem like they’d been there for long. Zara and I exchanged competitive glances and I greeted the others.  
“Alright, mon amis,” France said. “Who ‘as ze most pictures?”  
Dangit!! I thought to myself as we gave our results. I had the least out of everyone! To make matters worse, Zara was in the lead!  
“How about you Safi?” Alex asked. “How many do you have?”  
“About 200.”  
“200?!” We exclaimed, and I’m pretty sure my eyes bugged out of my head. “How’d you get 200 in half an hour?!”  
Safi shrugged nonchalantly.  
I looked down at my meager 30-ish. Geez! What, had I spent an entire minute at each one?!  
“May I see?” Mari asked and Safi gave Mari her phone. Mari’s eyes widened. “They’re all really good too,” she said. “These aren’t run-byes.”  
“Well yeah,” Safi said. “I stopped to look at each one.”  
We all stared at her for the longest time.  
“She really is the Ghost Queen!” Zara burst out laughing.  
“Logic don’t apply to Safi!” I grinned happily as I put my arm around her shoulders. “Which isn’t the first time I’ve said that.” I said to France. “It was true even in our world! She once made a paperclip stand strait up on its own!!”  
“I remember that!” Alex said with a grin. “That was cool.”  
France meanwhile was a bit creeped out. “Zat is creepy…” he said nervously. “It sounds a bit like zat evil Russia!”  
“… You think I’m evil?” Safi asked, tears welling up in her eyes.  
“France! Stop making her cry!” I yelled at him angrily. Mari immediately took Safi into her arms, stroking her hair and saying, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Zara was also hugging Safi, trying to cheer her up and saying she’s not evil. I joined them in the hug-fest, leaving Alex to give France a good hard kick in the shin before joining us.  
France was clutching his shin in pain, but he looked genuinely sorry. “J’regrete, mon ami,” he said as he pulled an entire bouquet of flowers out of thin air and gave it to Safi. “I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me.”  
Safi poked her head out of the mass of arms. Freeing one of her arms, she dashed the tears out of her eyes and took the flowers. When she inhaled their sent and smiled, we knew that all was forgiven.  
France saw this and smiled too. “ ‘Ow about a complementary tour?” he offered.  
Everyone looked at Safi, who nodded, then we were off.  
~~More art! YAY!~~  
We spent a good amount of time there in the Louvre, France giving his own personal commentary, which was exceedingly interesting since he was actually there for a lot of what he talked about. I have so much to say about it, but I know that if I do I’ll probably end up blabbering about history and art and I doubt you guys find that stuff as interesting as I do so I’ll just skip ahead to when we left the Louvre.  
When we left the art museum of awesomeness, we basically walked around Paris the rest of the day, making much better time than we would’ve hadn’t we been with a country since he could basically transport us across the city. We went to Notre Dame and we sang ‘God Save the Outcast’ in the light of that huge, round, absolutely beautiful stained glass window, (which I spent a few minutes just staring at), ‘Out There’, when we visited the bell tower, and ‘The Bells of Notre Dame’ here, there and everywhere. In fact, I’m pretty sure we went through the entire soundtrack of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and I’ll even admit I was looking around for Quasimodo, or at least his ghost.  
We also went to the Arc de Triumph, which Zara tried to scale and the French police came after us, so that was an adventure. Thankfully, Monsieur Bonnefoy (France’s human name) apparently has a lot of influence in this town.  
Then we went on a tour of France via the River Seine, in which Alex and Zara almost fell overboard several times. That, combined with some other stuff, was why we were asked to never tour with that organization ever again. Thankfully France didn’t seem too upset about it.  
“It’s about dinnertime,” France said thoughtfully. “ ‘Ow would you mademoiselles like to sample some delicacies and eat some dinner?”  
We were all getting hungry again, so we agreed. France took us to a stereotypical but cute quaint little French restaurant on a street corner. “Now you shall taste ze pinnacle of cuisine!” France said, becoming very flamboyant and sparkly again, and I finally figured out who France reminded me of. Tamaki Sempai. He was half French right? I looked at France. Yup. Definitely French.  
“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he addressed the waitress that came up to us. Then he went off ordering in French, so I didn’t get a word of it beyond ‘Si vu play.’ “Isn’t French a beautiful language?” he asked us as the waitress walked away. “Much better zan English if you ask me. I never bozer to remember zat ugly language.”  
Wait.  
“Um, excuse me, France?” Mari finally spoke up and asked France. “Haven’t you been speaking in English to us?”  
France opened his eyes to look at Mar. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “I’m not speaking English, and neizer are you.”  
“… Wait, what?” I asked, then I immediately gasped. I wasn’t speaking English! I didn’t know what we were speaking; it didn’t sound Romantic, Germanic, Russian, Middle Eastern, Pacific Islander, Asian, or like anything I’ve ever heard, yet we all knew it fluently.  
“What language is this?” Safi asked, paying attention to the words that came out of her own mouth.  
“It is ze language of ze countries,” France explained. “All countries speak it, and you girls came speaking it, which is part of why we couldn’t let you go.” France looked at us curiously. “You didn’t even know you were speaking it?” he asked. “We figured wherever you came from, it was a common language.”  
We all shook our heads. “But that doesn’t make sense,” Alex protested. “We’ve spoken to normal people since we came here, and they’ve understood us fine.”  
“ ‘Aven’t you noticed?” France asked. “Zey’ve all been English-speakers. You must ‘ave been unconsciously slipping between the two.”  
“What about the other countries?” Zara asked. “I remember some of them talking to English speakers.”  
France smiled a bit. “Most countries know at least a minute amount of English,” he said. “I am ze stubborn exception.”  
I know how that is, I thought to myself, then I leaned back in my chair to really think about it. I did remember learning somewhere that many Europeans know a good amount of English, since apparently it’s an important language. Also, now that I thought about it, when we’d bought the house, America and England had done most of the talking, and when we’d gone out to eat I vaguely recalled those two explaining to other countries what those dishes were, and many of the countries had just pointed to what they wanted on the menu. Weird I hadn’t noticed that before.  
“… Is he right?” I asked, making a conscious attempt to speak English, and it worked.  
“Yeah, I think so.” Safi said in English also. We turned to look at France and we could tell by his face that he didn’t understand us.  
“I can’t believe we didn’t notice this before,” Mari used out native language.  
“Cool!” Zara exclaimed. “Cool, cool! Cool, cool!” she said, going back and forth between English and the countries’ language.  
“How long have we been doing this?” Alex wondered in English.  
“Excusez-moi,” France said. “Could you please use countries’ language so I can understand what you’re saying?”  
“Sorry,” Mari switched back as requested. “We were just wondering how we suddenly knew this language. It doesn’t even exist in our world.”  
France looked confused. “Are you sure?” he asked.  
“Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “Countries don’t have personifications in our world.”  
“Unless they’re a secret,” Safi said, her eyes widening in wonder.  
“Whoa!” Zara exclaimed. “What if there really are people-countries in our world and we just didn’t know about them? Talk about a mind-blower!”  
“Non,” France interrupted. “You would know if zere were ‘people-countries’ in your world. It’s common knowledge.”  
I thought about that for a moment before saying, “Wait, then why do you guys keep saying that the countries are a secret?”  
“Ze fact zat we are ze personifications is ze secret,” France explained. “Not ze fact zat we exist. As countries, we try to keep our identities secret, which is why we have ‘uman names. And anyway, it’s not a very well-kept secret. Many soldiers in ze armies we command personally come to know us for ‘oo we are.”  
“… Ohhhhhhhh,” My friends and I said all at once, finally getting it. Just in time too; our food was coming.  
I typically like foreign foods, so I was excited to try some French food, but as the food was coming closer, I saw something that made me remember a certain joke. Here it is: What would you say if a snail sped past you in a car with a great big S on the side? ‘Look at that S-car go!’ Say it out loud. Go on, say it! S-car go. Escargot. Get it? Sure wasn’t funny at the time.  
Maybe they won’t look like snails, I thought to myself hopefully, and I was partially right. They weren’t slimy, but they were green-ish and still in the shells, so there went that idea. Come on Lees, you’re not a picky eater anymore, remember? It’ll probably taste fine. It’s supposed to be salty, right? You like salty stuff. Yeah, but not when it’s green. Well you at least have to say you’ve tried it before you go dis it. Luckily for me though, more food was coming, so maybe trying escargot could be prevented, or at least postponed. Procrastination let’s go***. However, my hopes were soon dashed when I saw what the other food was.  
“Um,” Safi asked, awkwardly eyeing the food. “What is this?” she pointed to a jelly-like substance.  
“Zat,” France said, confirming my fears. “is caviar. Zis is frog legs, and zis is sweet bread.”  
My friends and I stared at the unearthly display of ‘edibles’ in front of us.  
“… Let’s do it!” Alex said with a huge grin and immediately started filling her plate with the stuff.  
“Well I’ve already tried frogs and snails,” Zara said, wrinkling her nose a bit at the memory. “so I guess I’ll go for the sweet bread and caviar!”  
“Pass the escargot please,” Mari said, taking some sweet bread while she waited. “I’ve never tried sweet bread before.”  
Safi was taking a little bit of everything, and I knew she’d try it and at least pretend to like it for France’s sake. She looked up, saw my face and gave a small smile. “You should try some Lees” she said only loud enough for me to hear. “You might end up liking it.”  
I sighed softly and nodded. I knew she was right, but it was just so hard! Finally I forced myself to copy Safi and take a little bit of everything, making sure to take only a minute amount of escargot since that was the one I was dreading the most. Okay, I coached myself. Try something. “Heh, frog legs,” I said aloud, making an attempt at humor to hide my nervousness. “Taste like chicken, right?”  
“Nope, Zara said enthusiastically. “Tastes nothing like chicken.”  
Thanks, I thought sarcastically as I looked back down at my plate. I love froggies, I thought pitifully, remembering all those times at camp when I’d go out frog catching, or even saving them from the cabins of terrified girls or cruel boys. And Kermit. Aw man, I couldn’t eat Kermit! Pull yourself together Lees! You’ll get through it the same way you get through eating chicken! With that in mind, I ate a leg. Nope. Didn’t taste like chicken.  
“Mm, this sweetbread’s pretty good!” Mari said. “I can’t really taste the bread though.”  
This made me look up at my friend withy wide eyes. “Uh, Mari,” I said. “Do you know that sweetbread is made of?”  
Mari’s eyes met mine, concern crossing her face. “… No…” she said, looking down at the sweetbread and then back to me.  
I looked around. “Do any of you know?” I asked.  
Alex looked up from her food and shook her head, but it didn’t seem like it was a big deal to her. Safi looked down at the sweetbread and then to me with a ‘what’s wrong with it?’ face. Zara couldn’t stop looking back and forth between the sweetbread and me with a confused expression. France looked around the table at everyone. “You really don’t know?” he asked. “Why, it’s just-”  
“DON’T!” I yelled quickly to stop him. I got quite a few stares from Parisians but I didn’t really care. “Just,” I said, forcing myself to calm down. “Let them eat in the bliss of ignorance. If they really want to know, we can tell them later.”  
France took a second to think about this, then he shrugged indifferently and continued eating.  
My friends however weren’t exactly as eager to eat as they’d been before. Quite a few of them had the ‘I don’t know if I want to eat this anymore’ looks on their faces.  
I felt a bit bad for ruining it for them, but I guess they have the right to know that it wasn’t bread. With that in mind, I turned to my own sweetbread and… I couldn’t do it. Knowing what it really was what it was from, and the age of what it was from, I just couldn’t eat it. So I moved on to the next thing on my plate: caviar. Once, I remembered, my grandma brought caviar to Thanksgiving ‘dinner’ (more of a lunchtime event with my family) for everyone to try, but she was the only one who would eat it. She didn’t like it. Yeah, she’s kind of odd duck. But anywho, now I had the chance to try some fish eggs for myself. Great.  
Alex saw how I was looking at the caviar and gave a mischievous grin, which is never good. “What if you ate those,” she said only soft enough for me to hear. “And they hatched in your body, and little baby Nemos started swimming around in your-” she was interrupted by a spoonful of ‘baby Nemos’ to the face.  
“Mon deu!” France exclaimed. “What did Mademoiselle Alex do to deserve zat?”  
“Sorry,” I said, moving around the food on my plate a bit. “She was grossing me out. She had it commin’.”  
France made a funny face, then he looked down at my plate. Oh no. “Mademoiselle Lees,” he said. Here it comes. “Are you not going to try your escargot?”  
Fudge.  
“Hm, oh yeah!” I said with a forced a smile and a laugh. “I was just getting to that.” Trying to suppress my shaking, I took a bit of snail… No, don’t say that. Call it escargot, or maybe just ‘the food’. Yeah,… the food and forced my hand to move towards my mouth, but it never got it there. “I couldn’t stop staring at it. All I could think about was that scene from The Lion King 1 ½ where Timone was about to slurp down one more live snail when it turned into Pumbaa and said, ‘I told you this wasn’t such a good idea!’ In that moment, I made a decision. I couldn’t do this. I opened my mouth to say so when out of the corner of my eye I saw something come flying at me. The next thing I knew it hit me strait in the face, some of it landing in my tongue. My body’s natural instinct was to swallow. Immediately I fought the gag reflex. It. Was. Disgusting. Escargot didn’t look slimy, but it sure tasted and felt that way. “… Okay.” I said, wiping the snail off my eyes and opening them. “Who threw that?”  
Everyone at the table pointed at Alex, except Alex, who looked up towards the sky. “Hm, well whadaya know.” She said nonchalantly. “Some escargot just fell from the sky. Despite the astronomical odds, it hit you directly on the face. Imagine that.”  
“Yes,” I said, pushing my chair back. “Imagine that.”  
~~DundunDUN timeskip~~  
What happened after that I’d rather not say, but I will say that I was asked never to return to that restaurant again, even though Alex started it. I did eventually explain what sweetbread is and Safi tried to kill France. It was really funny, but I’m afraid some of the things she said may be offending to the French, PETA, and anyone who likes sweetbread, so I decided to not write it down because I don’t want my Safi going off to the funny farm.  
After that, it was getting late. The sun had gone down and the city had lit up.  
France looked around his city, a soft, non-pervy smile on his face. “It’s time,” he said quietly.  
“What?” Mari heard him and asked.  
The Frenchman turned to us, the same soft smile on his face and genuine excitement in his eyes. “Allons-y!” he exclaimed, gesturing to us as he took off down the street.  
Not wanting to be left alone in Paris and curious to see what was up with France, my friends and I ran after him. France was excited so he ran pretty quickly, but he looked back frequently to make sure that we were following. Down the streets of Paris we ran, too occupied with keeping up with our guide to notice what we were heading towards, so we didn’t realize it until we got there.  
We finally caught up with France to see him standing with his back to us, looking upwards.  
“Okay France,” Alex said, puffing a bit from our run. “What did you want us to… Oh.”  
She, like the rest of us, saw what France was looking at and stared in amazement.  
“Welcome, mon amis, to ze Eiffel Tower.”  
And there it was, in all its huge, majestic glory. Its huge, curving beams bent upwards until it almost seemed to touch the sky, then there was the blinking top, seemingly miles above us.  
I was extremely impressed by the sheer size and the beauty of the thing. I couldn’t imagine how French artists could have ever thought of it as ugly, or how the heck the government thought anything this big could’ve been temporary… Sorry, I’m getting into art, history and engineering mode again.  
“Well what are we waiting for?!” Zara exclaimed. “Let’s do this thing! To the top we go!!” Then she and France lead the way to the elevator.  
I looked around at the rest of my friends. I knew Alex had a minute fear of heights, but that would probably be overtaken by her excitement. Safi and Mari’s fears weren’t so small, but I didn’t know if they’d be petrified or awed by it. I didn’t bother to think about myself.  
Once we all reached the elevator, France ushered us inside and told us to close our eyes.  
“Why?” Safi asked, looking a bit concerned.  
France smiled at her. “You’ll see,” he said. “Trust me.”  
My friends and I looked at each other, then we huddled together for stability and closed our eyes.  
I felt the elevator lurch upwards and I left my stomach on the ground as we went up and up. I tried to steady myself and one of my friends grabbed my hand. This helped, but I was embarrassed because my hand was getting clammy already.  
Up, up, up we went for what seemed like forever, until the elevator finally jolted to a stop. I heard the doors open and a slight but warm night breeze rushed over us. France lead us out of the elevator, instructing us to keep our eyes closed and no peeking, then he seemed to be arranging us.  
My heart was beating so loud I was sure my friends could hear it. BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t like being so high up with my eyes closed, but somehow I managed to keep them shut.  
“Alright, ma cherries,” I heard France say. “You can open your eyes now.”  
I opened my eyes and was struck speechless. There, stretched out before us, was the entire city of Paris, lit up in all her glory.  
“Wow,” I breathed, my fear of the great height gone as I went up to the railing, gazing out at the beautiful city.  
“It’s amazing.” I heard Safi say.  
“Holy flip.” Mari said.  
“Frikin’ beautiful.” Said Zara.  
“So worth it.” Alex sighed.  
“I have to say France,” I said, standing up strait. “I’ve seen a lot of great works of art today, the Mona Lisa, the Arc de Triumph, the huge window in Notre Dame, and the Eiffel tower itself, and all were beautiful, but this,” I stretched my arms out wide to gesture to all of Paris. “This is the best. Nothing can compare to this.”  
“Isn’t it amazing?” I heard France say, and he came to join us at the edge. “Beautiful. I only wish…”  
When France stopped, my friends and I turned away from the city to look at him. His eyes were glittering, and he swallowed like it hurt.  
“… France?” Mari said after a pause. “Are you…crying? What’s wrong?”  
France sniffed a bit and dashed the tears from his eyes. “Nozing,” he said. “Ze sight of my beautiful city just brings me to tears, zat’s all.” The he gave a soft smile and said no more.  
No one wanted to pry, so we all turned back to the fantastically lit city and said no more.  
~~…~~  
“Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette je te plumerai,”Mari sang, her trademark smile wide. Alex was dancing crazily and clapping along to the beat and singing when she knew the words. Safi and Zara had linked arms and were swinging each other around to the beat, laughing all the way. I, meanwhile, was singing what Mari had told me was the translation of the song: “Pluck the chicken! We’re gonna pluck the chicken! Pluck the chicken! Let’s pluck the chicken now!” It was getting late, and I must admit to two things: We were trying to cheer France up and we were a bit hysterical. It must’ve been working, because France couldn’t stop laughing at us. He was walking us home again, and our excuse was that we had to keep ourselves occupied. We were just happy to see France not crying anymore.  
When we reached the house, we unlocked the door and invited France inside.  
He shook his head. “Non,” he said. “It’s getting late, and I should be getting back to my home.”  
“Well we won’t keep you then,” Mari said. “Adieu, Francy-pants!”  
France laughed as he started heading back down the walk. “And to you too.” he said with a sweeping bow. Then he looked like he forgot something. “Mademoiselle Lees!” he called.  
“Oui?” I answered, using French for once in my lifetime.  
“Keep zat ‘ousekey safe! You wouldn’t want a pervert to get ahold of it!” He winked.  
I laughed. “Will do!”  
We all waved goodbye until France was well out of sight, then we shut the door and locked it.  
“You know,” Alex said, flopping down on the couch. “France isn’t a bad guy.”  
Safi put our flowers in a vase with England’s. “He’s not half bad.” She said. “Just misunderstood.”  
“Mm,” I said with a soft smile not unlike France’s. “Aren’t we all?”

*Kung Fu Panda…that’s where I heard it anyways  
**PWEDIEPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
***Don’t Waste your Life, by Lecrae!  
Hey guys so guess what?! I updated w/ France’s chapter (originally) on the day his episode with Joan of Arc came out! Cool right? So I just wanted to take this moment to talk about how epic Joan was and how much I admire her.  
Joan is one of my idols. She risked literally EVERYTHING for her God and country, and people are always giving her crap cuz they think she was delusional, but even if that’s true she still paid the ultimate sacrifice for what she believed in, and I find that extremely admirable.  
And anyway, I prefer to believe she was sane.


	13. Light Russia's Heart

I thought you’d guys would like to know that Lee’s attitude towards Russia during this chapter is based off of how my attitude change towards him; basically this was me at first: ‘Omigosh Russia is so frikin scary I’d hate to meet him in a dark alley!’, and this is me now: ‘KYAAAA RUSSIA YOU’RE SO FRIKIN’ ADORABLE AND AWESOME IF I BECOME ONE WITH MOTHER RUSSIA DOES THAT MEAN I CAN BE YOUR LITTLE SISTER!?’ *ahem* So…yeah…but Lees won’t get to THAT point. That’d be creepy for any non-fangirl.

“So are we seeing anyone today?”

“I don’t know, France didn’t say anything about it.”

“Has anyone checked the mail?”

“Yes, and the landline, and the cellphones, and the email and any other sort of message we can get!”

“Perm-do-ba-da-bo-bo pern-kik-a-da French Toast e-de French Toast!”

“Lees, if you keep flipping it that high it’s gonna get stuck on the ceiling… DO IT!”

“Aw relax, that stuff only happens in cartoons. FLURITUBOO-Oh. Um, does anime count?”

That sent us all into an insatiable fit of laughter. Nothing’s funnier than seeing French toast stuck to a 10 feet high ceiling, am I right?

“Uh, guys,” Safi said, trying to hold back her laughter. “It’s not coming down.”

“Of course it’s not!” I laughed exasperatedly. “Okay you,” I said, nudging Zara. “Un-stick it.”

“Why do I gotta be the un-sticker make her the un-sticker!” Zara pointed to Alex.

“’Cuz I’m just that epic!” Alex snickered and grinned.

“ ‘Cuz’ isn’t proper English-Ow!” Mari was interrupted by a punch to the arm.

“Because returning the runt was your idea. Because you’re small and insignificant. And because I’ll pummel you if you don’t.” I said, bending further over Zara more threateningly with each point.

“Ehhh… Why else?” Zara asked, complying by bending backwards with each point.

“NOW! ZARA!”

Zara ducked out from under me and ran away laughing.

I turned to the rest of our friends and their stupefied faces. “Ice Age guys,” I said as if it should be obvious. “Ya’ll gotta know the classics.”

“Says the girl who won’t watch Harry Potter.”

“NOT UNTIL YOU WATCH THE NEW ALICE IN WONDERLAND MARI!”

“Hey guys!” Zara interrupted us. “I’m the shortest! How the heck am I supposed to get it down?”

“Get the broom. Do it now.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh,” Zara groaned loudly, putting her head back as she comically dragged herself off to find the broom.

By the time we’d gotten the toast off the ceiling, off Zara’s face and into the trash, (no one was going to eat it now), Alex had taken over the job of cooking and had some more French toast ready. “Safi!” She yelled over my shoulder. “Ready?”

Safi quickly ran over to the plate on which the French Toast was stacked, grabbed it before shouting “PULL!”

Alex flipped the French toast backwards over her head, not high enough to hit the ceiling I might add, and whirled around to watch Mari lift Safi just in time to catch the highflying toast. “Catch is complete!” Alex declared, holding the frying pan high.

My friends and I laughed as we all moved to the table and quickly ate all the French toast. Wait a second. French toast. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?! I immediately grabbed a fork and spoon that I had been putting away and began tapping the table rhythmically. Before anyone could ask what I was doing, I began to say, “All around the country coast to coast/People always say what do you like most/I don't wanna brag I don't wanna boast/I always tell 'em I like toast.” Then I screamed, “YEAH TOAST!” earing laughter from my friends. “YEAH TOAST!” I took their laughter as the go-ahead.“I get up in the mornin' bout six AM”

“Liar!” Zara laughed as I beat my silver wear through the pause.

“Have a little jelly have a little jam/Take a piece of bread put it in the slot/Push down the lever and the wires gets hot/I get toast./YEAH TOAST! YEAH TOAST!/Now there's no secret to toasting perfection/There's a dial on the side and you make your selection/Push to the dark or the light and then/If it pops too soon press down again/Make toast./YEAH TOAST! NEAH TOAST!” I whined, earning more laughter from both my friends and myself. “When the first caveman drove in from the drags/Didn't know what would go with the bacon and the eggs/Must have been a genius got it in his head/Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread/Make toast. “YEAH TOAST! NEAH TOAST!” Here comes the best part!, I thought to myself, then I plugged my nose and said in an outrageous French accent, “Oui monsieur bonjour coquette” only allowing myself to laugh during the spaces when I was just banging to the beat. “Uh huh croissante vous a ver/Maurice chevalier effeil tower/Oh oui maria bagette bon soir. FRENCH TOAST!” I screamed, trying not to double over in laughter.“FRENCH TOAST!” I gasped for breath.“In Chicago around the Bob and Tom show/YEAAAAAAAH TOAST!” I tried to say something but it came out as a laughing whine/whimper. When I finally got it together, I was able to say “Toast” before I completely lost it.

Mari had to end up putting my dishes away because I could no longer hold myself upright. Alex and Zara were laughing pretty hard at my antics, but I doubt they knew what I was singing was actually a YouTube song. Safi took on the job of getting me to my feet.

“Come on Leesy,” she said as she half-dragged me to my feet. “Stop singing about toast.”

I took a deep breath to shout ‘FRENCH TOAST’ but I saw Safi’s face and decided against it, breaking into a fit of giggles instead.

“Well what do we do now” Mari asked once the dishes had been put away and my friends had gotten me to stand by myself.”

“You should be coming weed me, da.” Said a voice from behind as a large, gloved hand gripped my shoulder.

I must have jumped an entire foot in the air. Whirling around, I found that the culprit was none other than the extremely scary Russia himself. “Russia!” I exclaimed, placing a hand over my heart in an effort to slow its beating. “Don’t DO that!”

Russia just smiled at me with that same creepy smile, behind which I had no idea what he was thinking. “You are very jumpy.” He stated.

“H-How did you get in here?!” Mari sputtered before I could retort something about sneaking up on jumpy people in their own house. “I’m emphatic I locked the doors last night!”

“I came een through de weendow.” Russia said as if that was the most natural thing in the world.

“Well that’s…normal,” Alex said, not at all put off by Russia’s frightening demeanor.

“Is today your day Russia?” Zara asked excitedly, also ignoring the fact that this scary dude had just APPEARED.

“Da,” Russia answered, his ever-present smile growing wider. “And I have a present for you girls.” He said, and from behind his back he pulled out five large sunflowers.

“Oh wow,” Safi gasped as she took one. Geez, she’d been getting lots of flowers lately. “Thank you”

“I love de sunflowers,” Russia said. “I saw some on de way here, so I thought I should peeck some for you. Oh! Dees reminds me,” Russia turned to…me? “Why is one with blue hair yelling about toast that is French?”

… Oh gosh. I facepalmed for my own weirdness and made an effort to keep my laughter back as I realized what he was talking about. “U-um, well you see, I was making French toast and… Yeah…” I said unintelligently.

“That doesn’t explain much Lees,” Alex laughed as she nudged me in the ribs.

Before any more awkwardness could ensue, I was saved by something very unexpected: Safi suddenly rushed forward and actually hugged Russia! Thankfully though, Russia didn’t seem to mind. While I was fully prepared to jump in and save Safi from the scary country when he flipped out, all Russia did was hug her back.

“What is dees for?” he asked.

“I’m not evil and you’re not evil,” she said softly. “Despite what other people say.”

“Of course you and I are not de eveels!” Russia said. “Who would say dat?”

Well about you… I kept my thoughts to myself, remembering what France had said yesterday. Russia was crazy scary, but if he was really evil, I certainly didn’t want him hugging my friends.

“It’s not important.” Safi replied, narrowly avoiding an awkward moment.

Russia smiled a bit wider, releasing Safi and therefore letting me breathe again. “We should be getting going,” he said. “Are you girls ready to go?”

“Yeah we’re ready!” Alex said excitedly. “Let’s go!”

As much as Russia the person scared me, I happen to be a fan of many things Russian, and I was back then too, so I couldn’t really help it when I declared, “To the Motherland!”

“Are you Russian?” Russian asked in interest as our group left the house.

“Nyet,” I admitted, trying out the small bit of Russian I knew. “but I wish I was.”

My minute grasp of his language seemed to please Russia. “You are weeshing correctly.” He stated before moving ahead to lead my friends and I.

I accidently stopped in my tracks in surprise. What did he mean by that? I wondered as I started walking again, following my friends and this Russian I didn’t trust into the unknown.

*

I have one word to describe Russia’s house: BIG. Some to think of it, a lot about Russia is big. Russia the person is big, and Russia the country covers seven frikin’ timezones so ‘nuff said.

Anywho, when we got inside, I was surprised to see three guys already there, standing in a straight line. One of them looked to be about fifteen with short, curly blond hair and violet eyes, and he wore a tan sweater over a white dress shirt and brown tie, and wore gray pants, but his most distinguishing feature was his eight. Boy was this guy short! Even Zara towered over him by half a foot at least!! By American standards, he would have been a little person if he didn’t grow any more.

Another looked about seventeen, a simple looking guy with square glasses and a narrow face with dark blond hair and green eyes, and brown sweater over a white dress shirt and khaki tie with gray pants. I didn’t get why, but when he saw my friends and me, his eyes grew really wide.

The third-

“Hey! I know you!” Alex exclaimed. “Hi Lithuania! How’s it goin’?”

Lithuania looked surprised for a moment. “O-oh,” he stuttered. “F-fine, thank you.”

Before we could ask who the other two were, Russia came through the door and the threesome immediately stiffened and began shaking in their boots. “Hello sir,” they said in unison. “Welcome home Mr. Russia.”

“… Are you okay?” Safi asked concernedly.

“Dey are always like dees,” Russia answered for them. Turning to the guys in question, he asked them, “Haven’t you boys eentroduced yourselves yet?”

The three jumped a bit and quivered violently. “We’re sorry sir!” the exclaimed. Then they turned to my friends and me.

“I’m Lithuania.” Said Lithuania.

“I’m Estonia.” Said the blond.

“I’m Latvia.” Said the shorty.

“I’m Lithuania.”

“I’m Estonia.”

“I’m Latvia.”

“Together we’re the Nervous Trembling Trio.” The chorused.

Uh… Okay, I can see that, I thought to myself, more than a little weirded-out by their performance. What a strange name… Then I realized something. “Wait a second,” I said. “You’re the Baltic Trio!”

“Yes,” Estonia said. “That’s right.”

“Well,” I said a bit awkwardly. “You three gained independence from the Soviet Union, so… What are you still doing at Russia’s house?”

The three of them stared at me with suppressed horror. I suppose that could be a sensitive topic… Oops.

“I have just hired dem for de day,” Russia answered again, and if he had been put off by what I’d said he sure wasn’t showing it. “To help me for de leettle girls coming.”

Little? I wondered, glancing at Safi. She wouldn’t like that. Then I looked up at Russia. Height wise, yeah, but he can’t be much older than us.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you.” Mari said nicely, trying to calm the poor guys down.

“And us you.” They said together.

Latvia stepped forward. “Lithuania told us a little about you,” he said, still shaking a bit. “He told us that you played a trick on him and that you were crazy scary girls and-”

“SHUT UP!” Lithuania and Estonia screamed in horror. Estonia slapped his hand over Latvia’s moth and looked up at us with a terrified expressin on his face. “W-we are so sorry!” he apologized. “He r-really needs t-to shut his mouth.”

“’Naw, s’all G bro!” Zara reassured them with a laugh, although I doubt they could understand her slang and Mari was probably having a mental breakdown right now. “‘Crazy scary’s actually pretty accurate.”

The Trio didn’t exactly look reassured, but Russia either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “We are just stopping een to be meeting de Baltics,” Russia said to my friends and me. “Dey weell be meeting us later at Moscow.”

If I had anthro-ears, they would have perked up right now. “Moscow?” I asked, a bit excited now. “We’re going to Moscow?”

“Da,” Russia said to me with a smile. “Do you like Moscow?”

Inside my head, I was screaming, DIE HARD! IT’S A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD!!! But on the outside all I said was, “… Yeah.”

*

So after that we headed back out, on our way to Moscow according to Russia. I kept replaying a certain scene in my head. When we had been leaving Russia’s house, Estonia had held the door open for us, which wasn’t unusual of course. However, I walked out last, being behind the rest of the group, and while I was walking out the door, Estonia caught my shoulder. His hand kept me from turning to face him, and he whispered in my ear, “Be careful out there. Whatever you do, don’t agree to become one with him. Russia’s a really scary guy!” before releasing me.

That I could figure out myself. I thought in response to the last statement. Still, his warning did the opposite of putting my fears to rest. Also, what on earth did ‘Becoming one’ with Russia mean? Would it mean that we would be under his control like the Baltics had been? As much as I liked Russia’s things, I had no intention of us becoming one of those things, so I made an effort to always walk between Russia and my friends. Yet, we were in Russia, and there was no way I was not going to milk being here.

“Welcome to Moscow!” I said in my Russian accent, remembering Russia’s previous advice on it, putting that to good use. This seemed to please Russia as he smiled at me, but I was a bit too ill at ease to smile back. This didn’t go unnoticed by the large country and he frowned a bit. This worried me but not in a way that would make me force a smile in return.

I however seemed to be the only one who felt this way; the rest of my friends seemed quite relaxed around this scary giant. Zara was even going so far as to ask Russia random questions at a million miles an hour. “Why are you so tall? Why are you wearing all that winter stuff in the summer? Can I wear your coat? Can I wear your scarf? Can I hug you?”

“Zara,” Safi laughed. Yes, even she was at ease around this stranger. “You can’t just go around asking people if you can wear their clothes!”

“But she can have a hug.” Russia said with a smile.

“Yay!” Zara exclaimed as she glomped the Russian, as did Alex because she could, making me tense until they were released. The Great Alexandra could probably handle herself, but the fact that she trusted Russia enough to hug him made me a bit unnerved.

Surely, my common sense said. If Mari’s not worried about him, neither should I be.

“But seriously Russia,” Mari piped up, completely at ease. Guess not. “Why do you wear a scarf in the summer, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Russia smiled-Geez, he’s always smiling! Mari smiles a lot too, but at least she’s not so creepy-at her. “Not at all,” he said. “Dees scarf was given to me by my beeg seester Ukraine when I was just a leetle boy. I cannot take eet off because eet ees part of my body.”

I tried hard to not stop and stare at that one. Part of his body? Weird…

“Well how about the coat then?” Zara pressed on. “Oh please oh please of please?!”

I slammed my face down into my upturned palm and by the time I lifted it back up Zara was running around in Russia’s coat, which was wayyyyyy to huge for her.

It took about three trip-and-faceplants before Zara figured this out, and even then her solution wasn’t the best. “Alex!” she called. “Come take up the rest of this coat rom with me!” Before I could even facepalm again, a two-headed, four-legged weirdo in a huge coat went skipping down the road.

“Where’s a camera when you need one?” Mari giggled.

As we walked through the city, I noticed that there was a good amount of Russian music playing. It wasn’t bad, and I bobbed to the music, consciously keeping myself from actually dancing.

Safi however wasn’t so unconfident in her dancing skills. The only one of us actually in dance, she seemed to glide gracefully with the beat of the music.

Russia smiled at her. “You like de dancing?” he asked. “We Russians like to dance too.”

“Russian dances are cool,” I said. “Like that one where they squat down and kick out their feet really fast.” I gave a rather poor demonstration.

“Are you meaning the Cossack Dance?” Russia asked. “Da, I know what you are talking about. My beeg seester Ukraine taught me how to do dat.”

“Omigosh can you show us?” Zara asked excitedly.

Russia contemplated this for a moment. “Hm,” he said. “Dat was a long time ago, but I dink I can do it.” Trying this out, Russia suddenly went down and began to kick out his legs at an incredible speed.

“Wow! Look at him go!!” Alex exclaimed. “Go Russia go!”

Soon my friends and I were all cheering as we watched Russia dance. A small crowd was gathering also to watch. As the music sped up, so did Russia, who was smiling widely. Suddenly, Russia’s foot slipped on some slick grass and he fell flat on his back.

My friends and I gasped, The Russians all left the scene, looking back over their shoulders and walking quickly. Were even his own people scared of him?! That of course made me scared about Russia’s reaction. Failing this epically in front of a crowd, anyone would be embarrassed. This scary Russian for sure would not like that.

I was contradicted, however, by the sound of Russia’s laughter. Sitting up, Russia rubbed the back of his head a bit as he laughed heartily in his higher voice, which had a very odd yet pleasing sound to it. It was even a bit contagious. So my friends and I took this cue and started laughing with him.

“That was great Russia!” Mari exclaimed.

“Are you okay?” Safi asked. “You didn’t get hurt did you?”

“Nyet,” Russia chuckled. “I am fine. Dat was fun, da. I haven’t danced like dat in a long time.”

However, after that our trip was rather uneventful.

“How about a joke?” Mari asked. “I’ve got one: I just hate circles, they’re utterly pointless!”

Some of us laughed, some of us groaned, I did both.

“Here, how’s this?” Zara said. “What kind of whore do you pay with spaghetti?”

I wracked my brain for a bit, determined that I could get it, but I ended up coming up with nothing. “What is it?” I asked, long after everyone else had given up.

“A pastatute!”

That was a good one, and surprisingly enough, we didn’t have to translate the language barrier to Russia. Something about the Countries’ Language allowed for all jokes to be translatable, and Russia laughed along with us.

“My turn!” exclaimed Alex. “What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!”

This also caused laughter, though Alex received a punch in the arm from Safi for technically swearing.

“Pkay, Safi!” I declared. “You have a go!”

Safi gilled. “Alright,” she said. “Dear algebra, please stop asking me to go find your x. She’s not coming back.”

I laughed particularly hard at that one because I had absolutely hated algebra in school, and the others found it funny too.

“I’ve got one for Zara!” Mari exclaimed almost giddily. “She just LOVES One Direction, but she’s in deNiall!”

“HA!” my friends and I laughed really hard at that one, mostly because of Zara’s reaction and her wonderful face. Only thing was though, we had to explain who Niall was to Russia.

“Lees! I chose you!!” Alex decided.

“Me? I only know cheesy ones… Oh! Wait! I got it!* Now this joke was created when I was a little kid, so bear with the immaturity here.” I said with a grin. “Okay, so the White Witch, Shrek, and…Hannah Montana,” I decided, just needing a fictional musician. “Walk into a toilet shop-”

“Hold on,” who are dese people?” Russia asked.

I held up my hand to stop my friends. “I got this. If you’ll just listen a little longer, the important information will be explained.” That came out a bit rude, but I didn’t stop to apologize. “Okay then. So the White Witch said, ‘I want an ice toilet because I like icy things,’ so she got one and left. Shrek said, ‘I want a wooden toilet because I like wooden things.’ So he got one and left. Then Hannah Montana said, ‘I want a singing toilet because I like singing things.’ So she got one and left.

“The very next day, they all came back to the toilet store to return their toilets. When asked what was wrong with them, WW(DUCE!) said, ‘Whenever I sit down my butt freezes to the toilet.’ Shrek said, ‘Whenever I sit down I get slivers on my butt.’ and HM said, ‘Whenever I sit down, my toilet sings, “Do you see what I see?”’”

I was so relieved when everyone laughed, knowing that that was the kind of joke that would make five year olds laugh.

“How about you Russia?” Safi asked. “Do you have any good jokes to tell?”

“Oh yes!” Russia said happily. “I like de jokes. Here is one**: An Amereecan, a Frenchman and a Russian are alone on an uneenhabeeted island. Dey catch fish for food and suddenly catch a Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each for her own freedom. De Amereecan said, ‘A meellion dollars and to go back home!’ De Frenchman said, ‘Dree beautiful women and to go back home!’ The Russian said, "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Dree crates of vodka and the two fellas back!’”

“Hey that’s just like our island joke!” Alex exclaimed. “So THAT’S where it comes from!”

“The ethnicities make it so much better!” Zara laughed, making the rest of us laugh because it was so true. “Got another one Russia?”

Encouraged by our laughter, Russia launched into another joke**. “A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are captured by canneebals. Dey are brought to de chief, who says, ‘We are going to eat you right now. But I am a ceeveelized man, I studied human rights at de Patrice Lumumba University een Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request.’ De German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets eet and the canneebals eat heem. De Frenchman asks for dree girls. He has crazy sex weed dem, and den follows de German. De Russian asks: ‘Heet me hard, right on my nose.’ De chief is surprised, but heets heem. De Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov and shoots all the canneebals. De mortally wounded chief asks heem: ‘Why deedn't you do dees before we ate de German?", de Russian proudly replies: ‘Russians are not aggressors!’”

There was a long silence after that one, but it was ended when my friends and I burst out laughing. It was an EXTREMELY funny joke, however, I must admit that it did make me a bit uneasy. Somehow, Russia reminded me of that Russian from the joke. I didn’t like it.

However, all Russia saw were five girls enjoying his jokes, so he smiled, completely happy. “I have something I would like to ask you girls, da?” he asked us.

Expecting another joke, my friends and I smiled in anticipation. However, we were quite contradicted.

“Weell you become one weed Mother Russia?”

The long silence was awkward, made more awkward by the smiles slowly fading from our faces as we all thought but did not say, … Oh.

“Whatever you do, don’t agree to become one with him.” That’s what Estonia had said. So naturally, this made me extremely worried.

Safi, however, was the one that answered. “Um, we don’t know what that means, but if means that you want to be friends with us, then sure. Right guys?” She turned to the rest of us.

“Right!” My friends said sincerely, not out of fear. In fact, they even smiled at the suggestion. “Yeah! Let’s be friends!”

I copied their actions, but didn’t say anything. Hopefully no one would notice my lack of commitment to friendship with someone I was pretty sure as a psyco.

Again, silence ensued. Russia’s face didn’t change its expression once. He didn’t even blink as he kept his same smile on his face. The longer the pause was, the creepier that smile became, and the more those violet eyes seemed to bore into my soul.

I tensed, preparing for an angry doom-bringer, fully ready to get my friends out of there if need be.

“Alright,” Russia finally said anticlimactically. “I guess I can leeve weed dat.” And he continued leading the way.

If Russia didn’t notice my lack of an answer, my friends did. “What’s wrong Lees?” Mari came over and asked me in hushed tones as we all kept walking, but Mari and I bringing up the rear. “Why are you so hesitant?”

I looked at her as if she was crazy. “Are you kidding me?” I asked more intensely, but at the same volume. “I don’t trust this guy. I’m pretty sure he could turn on us at any second. That’s not the kind of person I’d like to be friends with.”

Mari sighed. “Just give him a chance Lees.” She said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t think Russia would do that to us. Sure, I see what you mean. He certainly does have potential to be…” She shuddered, then continued “But not to us. We’re his friends, and I don’t think he’d do anything to hurt his friends.”

“But I just don’t know.” I sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t wanna take the chance.”

Mari looked like she was about to say something, then she sighed in defeat. “Just keep your mind open.” She said. “Remember how it felt when people judged us?” Then she walked away with the rest of the group.

I couldn’t help but stop in my tracks for a moment.

*

*

“Are we there yet?” Alex whined, earning a nudge from Safi.

Russia just smiled. “Da, almost.” He replied.

“What exactly did you want to show us?” Zara asked, curiosity evident in her face even at night.

“I told you it is a surprise!” Russia laughed at our eagerness. “You shall see soon enough.”

And see we did, for what we came to see was St. Basil’s Cathedral. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is the huge building with the brightly colored, funny-shaped domes that is often used as a symbol for Russia. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, go Google Image it.

Anywho, it’s an architectural and artistic masterpiece, and it was amazing.

“Makes me think of The Nutcracker.” I commented.

“Dat was turned into a ballet in Russia,” Russia said proudly, as he should. “Deed you know dat all de architects of dees building were blinded after it was completed so dat dey could never make anyding so beautiful again?”

Well that earned a long moment of awkward silence. Russia, however didn’t seem to notice.

“I know a place around here that sells de best pirozhki!” he said a bit excitedly. I dink we can catch dem before dey close!! Come! Let’s hurry!!” and Russia ran off with us not far behind.

“Piro-what-now?” Zara asked, but nobody could answer her.

Russia lead us into town and down a back road where a small electric sign advertised on a street corner.

“You girls be waiting here,” Russia said. “I weel be right back out.” And he went in.

After we’d been waiting awhile, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. From around the corner came a group of young men. By the way they swaggered (GOT DAT JESUS SWAG!-Ahem. Sorry. Bible camp. Two years ago. Long story.), I could tell they thought majorly of themselves.

 

 

When they came up to my friends and I, alarm bells started to go off inside of me. Sure, I was typically more nervous around guys and new people, but still… Don’t even go there, stupid, I told myself.

The guy closest to us asked us something in Russian with a cocky grin.

I looked at my friends and they looked at me; none of us knew what he was saying. “Nyet,” Mari tried, first in Russian then in English. “English? Speak English?”

The guy looked back at his buddies and they chuckled a bit, which made me more uncomfortable. “American?” he asked in rough English.

“Da.” Alex answered, eyeing them apprehensively. That was not good. The ever comfortable-with-boys Alex was nervous. I didn’t like it. Stop that! I scolded myself, wincing even as I did so. You’re psyching yourself out again. It’s never true, and it doesn’t help, so just stop being such a baby!

“You liking tour?” the guy asked, as if making an offer, and stepped forward with his hand outstretched.

On instinct more than conscious movement, I stepped closer to my friends in unison with the guy’s step. This did not go unnoticed by the guy.

“Nyet.” Safi answered quietly, half of her body hidden behind Alex “Thank you, we nyet need tour.”

“You being sure?” The guy asked, taking another step, his smile ever-present. “Give good tour. You like.”

“Nyet means nyet!” Zara yelled at the guys. Even she, who feared nothing, was clearly uncomfortable. “Nyet want tour!!”

“Please,” the guy and his friends came closer. “Is very good tour.”

That was close enough for me. Immediately I placed myself between the men and my friends. “For the last time,” I said. “Nyet. I’m not going to say it again.” I didn’t know if these men were just overly-flirtatious or if they actually had something up their sleaves but I wasn’t about to take the chance. I also didn’t care that I didn’t stand a chance against one guy, let alone a whole group of Russians. All I knew was that if these men tried anything, they would only get to my friends over my dead body. Even then I’d hope that God would let me come back and kick their @$$es.

But the men only laughed at me. “Sorry,” said the one in front as he came closer. “Nyet speak English.”

Suddenly, the air grew dark and was filled with a hugely oppressing feel of impending doom. From behind the man in front, but not from the man, appeared a dark purple-blue, flame-like aura, accompanied by the sound of a deep, throaty, bone-chilling, voice muttering, “Kolkolkolkol” that made my blood run cold.

The rest of the men stepped quickly away from whatever was behind their leader, shouting out Russian exclamations in fear.

The leader was not so aware, and he continued towards us until he saw that the fear in our eyes was not directed at him. Then he turned around just in time to see the most terrifying thing rise up from behind him. Scarf waving violently, faucet pipe raised high above his head, face dark in anger, there stood Russia.

The man dodged just before Russia swung his faucet pipe down with such force that it cracked the concrete upon impact. The man rolled out of the way and stood, but quick as lightning Russia’s scarf shot out as if it was alive and wrapped itself around the man’s neck. The scarf lifted the man off the ground, the man tearing at the scarf around his neck with his hands, and was forced to look into Russia’s dark face.

“We don’t like children who don’t play nice.” Russia said in that same low, terrifying voice.

The man stopped struggling, though he didn’t seem to be choking. His face was one of pure terror and he seemed frozen in fear as he stared into the face of doom.

Russia’s scarf raised the man higher, then it flung him with an incredible amount of force towards his friends, who were too busy knocking their knees together to even look at him as he tried to scramble to his feet. Russia continued speaking in that horrifying voice to the men, only this time in Russian. I didn’t catch a word of what he was saying, but whatever it was was making the grown men piss themselves. As if to drive home a point, Russia half lunged at them and they all ran away screaming bloody murder.

When they were all gone, Russia looked over his shoulder at us. The aura and darkness was gone, along with the terrible feeling of doom. Russia’s dark face was gone, so now we could actually see it, and he looked…sad. “You are scared.” Russia stated, his voice full of sorrow. “I see eet on your faces.” He turned all the way around to face us, but he kept his eyes downcast. “I am so sorry. I just wanted to be de friends, but now I have blown eet because now I have scared you.” Russia looked so absolutely crushed, like a child who was about to cry. It made me want to cry. “Please,” he said, his violet eyes finally meeting ours, pleading with all his soul. “Don’t be afraid of Frightening Russia.”

Silence ensued. Nothing moved, not even the wind, and nothing was said.

Then suddenly, my friends and I all rushed forward at once and engulfed Russia in a group hug.

“DON’T BE SAD!” I heard Safi exclaim, sounding near tears herself out of compassion.

“We’ll be your friends!” Alex yelled. “We don’t care if you can be scary!”

“We’re not scared of you! You’re a nice guy!” Zara shouted.

“Please don’t be sad!” Mari exclaimed. “We want to be your friends!”

My throat tightened. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Russia,” I said quietly, pulling away a bit so that I would be able to see his face. Unfortunately, I felt far too ashamed to meet his face. “I,” I said, searching for words and trying to keep my emotions under control. “I’m sorry for doubting you.” I finally got it out. “I was just afraid for my friends, but I judged you unfairly. No one should be judged that way, especially you and…I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?” I forced myself to meet Russia’s face, fully expecting him to be angry like any normal person would be for being judged so unfairly. And I called myself not judgmental. Hypocrite.

However, what I saw instead was this: a soft, genuine smile and kind eyes so filled with joy where sadness and loneliness had once been that they were literally brimming over. “Da,” Russia said, his voice sincere. “I forgeeve you.”

Since this day I have learned that Russia’s happiness is contagious. Seeing him so happy made me happy, so happy in fact that I couldn’t keep the huge smile from spreading across my face and hugging him again. My friends joined me and soon we felt Russia wrap his arms around us. And I think, rather than putting on his ever constant smile, for a moment, Russia was really happy.

Finally, Russia released us. Looking down at us with a genuine smile, he said, “Let us go. I have one other place I want to be showing you.”

*

“Hey! It’s the Baltics!!” Alex exclaimed as she ran up to, sure enough, Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. They were leaning over the edge of a bridge, and when she called they jumped so badly that they almost fell in!

“Whoa! Are you guys okay?” Mari asked concernedly.

The three Baltics looked at us in mild surprise. “Y-Yes,” Estonia said. “We are fine. We were just waiting to see if you were alri-I mean, waiting for you to get here.”

“Well here we are!” Safi said happily. “Safe and sound.”

Nicely done Safi, I thought to myself. Calming their fears without making it to obvious. “Wow, look at the sky,” I said, turning in a bit of a circle. “Wait, it was nighttime in Moscow. Why is the sky lighter here?”

“Russia,” Zara said, looking around. “Where are we?”

The Russian smiled as he stood up. “St. Petersburg.” He answered. “At night.”

“But then why is the sky white?” Safi asked.

“Eet ees because we are so far north.” Russia exclaimed. “Een de summer, de sun never fully sets, so we get de white nights.”

It was actually quite beautiful really. The city was lit up, but it wasn’t completely dark. The sky was a soft gray-white, and the clouds outlined the colors of the sun that had never completely set.

“Wow,” this is so cool!” Alex exclaimed as me and my friends, and that included Russia, joined the Baltics in gazing over the bridge. “Is it like this every night?”

Russia nodded, looking a bit nostalgic. “Nastya…” he started to say, but then with a sudden loss in his smile, he stopped.

“What was that Russia?” Mari asked. “Were you going to say something?”

Russia seemed to stare off into space for a bit, then he shook his head.

“Did you ladies enjoy your tour of Russia?” Lithuania asked quickly, although it seemed for once not to be out of fear of Russia, as his glance toward the man seemed more concerned than fearful.

“We did!” Zara said with a smile, undoubtedly happy to keep Russia from being sad by changing the subject. “We had a really good time! We saw the building with the big colorful points!!”

“Way to be specific.” Safi said with a giggle. She looked down at the large paper bag of pirozhki that Russia had given to her to carry once we’d left Moscow. “Would you guys like some pi…pir…pirozhki?” she asked, happy to have finally gotten it right. “It’s piping hot, and there’s plenty for everyone!”

So pirozhki were passed out to everyone. I’d never tried it before, but it sure was good! And after a long day of walking, it was very welcome.

“Mm!” Latvia made a noise as if he remembered something. “Russia!” he said once he’d swallowed. “I almost forgot to give you what you asked us to bring.” And he handed over to Russia a box wrapped in that cardboard-paper stuff and tied with a string.

“Spasiba, Latvia,” Russia said as he took the box, then he turned to us with a bit of a bashful smile. “I wanted to make you girls something,” he said, keeping his eyes on the box. “But all I can make ees… Well, dees,” and he handed the box to us.

Zara took the box and undid the string, having a bit of trouble with it but that was Zara and was to be expected. Then after she took off the wrapping she opened the box and inside was a small, round little doll.

“It… It looks like Mari!” Alex said with a gasp. Sure enough, the doll had Mari’s same green eyes, long hair and smile on her face. The workmanship was actually quite remarkable.

“Wait,” I said, noticing the seam across the Mari-doll’s middle. “It’s a matryoshka doll! There’s more!”

So the Mari doll was opened and inside was…me! A little, round wooden doll that looked like me! And inside me was a little, round wooden Alex, a little, round wooden Safi, then a really little, round wooden Zara. Each one had been skillfully made to look like all five of us.

“Russia…” Zara said. “These are so cool! Look at me!!” She took up the tiny, wooden her. “It’s a mini-me!”

“Makes sense that you were the smallest one,” Alex said with a chuckle.

That sent everyone, even an indignant Zara, into laughter. It seemed like the perfect way to end our day. I even noticed that while it was a little weird that Russia had made dolls of us, I finally trusted him and didn’t care. That’s what made me so happy.

However, our little happy fun time was cut short when I couldn’t keep back a yawn, then the rest of my friends caught it and began to yawn too.

Russia smiled kindly down at us. “Come on, new friends,” he said gently. “You’re had a long day. I dink eet ees time to get you home.”

 

*This is an joke by a friend of my oldest friend. It’s true! As far as I know, this joke is an original

**No changes were made to these jokes except quotes and language ticks. They’re actual Russian jokes!


	14. PANDAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sadly I wanted to write this story over the course of a year, but the days have slipped away from me. Therefore, time in the fic will not be reflecting time here. So holiday updates will not be around the actual holiday as I had hoped. Hopefully you guys will be able to deal with this, and I thank you for waiting so long.  
So now, without further ado, China’s chapter!

“Hey Leesy, it’s time for lu-” Mari’s head had just popped up over the side of my bed when a pillow deftly hit her face and down she went. I heard a thump and an “Ow!” and pretended to be asleep. “Leesy!” Mari scolded. “Hitting people is not nice! And you can’t sleep all day!” When she got no response I heard her sigh and say, “I’m calling in reinforcements.” And I heard her leave the room.  
I sucked in my lower lip a bit, contemplating whether or not to apply my insane stubbornness today. See, most of the time I’m quite easygoing, but I can be extremely stubborn when I want to be. All my friends know this from experience, but Mari knows it best. The reason I refused to watch or read Harry Potter? For the sheer joy of picking on poor Mari ;)  
Anyway, as I was thinking about this, I heard more than one set of footsteps arrive. “Alright Leesy,” I heard Alex say. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”  
“Meaning get yer butt down here or we’re comin’ up after ya!” This would be Zara.  
I stretched, arching my back, and shifted so that my head was hanging upside-down over the side of my bed. In that fashion I looked at my friends, who appeared to be standing on carpeted ceiling, with what I’m sure were glazed-over eyes. “And I suppose you’ll drag me out of bed, which is a loft bed, just like before, which was the top bunk of Mari’s camper, and I’ll land in a heap on the floor, again?”  
“Something like that.” Alex said with a grin.  
“I tried to put the stool under your feet but you missed!” Zara exclaimed in self-defense.  
I frowned exaggeratedly at her. “It was a tiny, light plastic footstool that slid out from beneath me!” I retorted.  
“Well then you should have come down before I grabbed your leg and started to pull!” Zara countered and before I could stop her she booped my nose.  
I snarled and tried to bite her finger, but since my neck was in a very uncomfortable position my attempt fell through and I ended up just surrendering. I’d save my iron will for another day.  
“Where’s Safi?” I asked as I climbed down my ladder.  
“Downstairs making lunch.” Alex yawned, so obviously haven’t been awake for long, and said, “Yeah Mari, why do we need to be awake?”  
“It’s noon.” Mari stated flatly. “The day’s half over. You’re not going to spend the rest of it sleeping.”  
“But I wanna sleeeeeeeeep!” I whined, clinging to Mari like a bratty two year old. I would’ve gone further with it but we were right at the stairs and I didn’t wanna die so I stood up and walked down like the mature person I could be, and the scene that greeted us was something to behold.  
Safi was standing in the kitchen making lunch like normal but across the bar sat a man with…a giant, knockoff Hello Kitty head.  
Safi look up at us and smiled. “Hey guys!” she said cheerfully. “This is Shinatty-chan. Shinatty-chan, this is Marina, Alexandra, Zara and Adaliz.” She pointed to each one of us in turn.  
“Hello-aru.” said Shinatty-chan in a rough guy’s voice that I believe had a Chinese accent.  
I think it’s safe to say that none of us could be blamed for being frozen in shock. There was a man, with a cat head, in our house, sitting with Safi. We were pretty confused, and if this weirdo hadn’t only been sitting there, I probably would’ve attacked him as an intruder.  
“Um, Safi,” Mari said, attempting to remain polite. “What is Mr. Shinatty-chan doing here?”  
“Just chan.” I mentioned under my breath.  
“What was that Lees?” Zara asked, evidently hearing me.  
I looked up, mildly surprised. “Well, it’s just that ‘chan’ is an honorific, so the Mr. isn’t needed…” Then I realized that I sounded like a Japanese-grammar-Nazi. “Shutting up.”  
“Anyway,” Alex turned back to the strange guest. “What exactly are you doing here?”  
“He came to deliver a message from China,” Safi answered for Shinatty-chan. “He says he’s going to be a bit late, and to go ahead and have lunch without him.”  
“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Zara said, throwing open the fridge and chugging the pitcher of orange juice.  
“Hey save some for the rest of us man!” I walked over and pretended to smack the bottom of the pitcher.  
Zara stopped drinking and glared at me. “I’d kill you.”  
“You could try.” I took the pitcher from her. “Now I have to sterilize this. You’re gonna give us all-” I said the first thing that came to my mind, “-herpes.” and immediately smacked my hand over my mouth.  
Alex and Zara burst out laughing. “No herpes jokes!” Alex yelled. “That’s not even how it works!”  
I giggled, forcing the hotness in my face away. “Hey, Shinatty-chan!” Would you like some lunch?”  
“No thank you-aru.” said Mr. Cat Head as he stood up. “I should be going now.”  
“Well thank you for stopping by and letting us know.” Mari said as she saw him to the door.  
“Have a good day-aru.” Shinatty-chan said as he left, rather quickly, and Mari shut the door.  
After a second, she said, “I think we scared him.”  
“Why?” Safi asked. “It’s not like we murdered anyone.”  
Zara snorthed. “Safi Lees made a herpes joke! I doubt they even have those in China.”  
“You never know,” Alex said slyly, making us all laugh.  
~~SHINATTY-CHAN TIME SKIP~~  
Ban ban BANANANANANANANANANAR bop chi-bop bop BOW!” I scatted nonsense as I came back down the stairs, fully dressed with Safi in her panda hat with gloves at my side. It wasn’t until we reached the bottom that the doorbell BING-BONG-ed. Mari opened the door.  
“Ni hao,” China said with a cheerful smile and a slight bow from the shoulders. “How are you today-aru?”  
“We’re doing fine, thank you.” said the ever-polite Mari. “Won’t you please come in?”  
“I suppose for a moment,” China said as he came in. “However, we should-PANDAAAAAAA!!!” he suddenly screamed, and in the next instant he rushed over and glomped Safi!  
Our jaws dropped, our eyes went white, and we just kind of just stood there in shock as China nuzzled the surprised (UNDERSTATEMENT) Safi.  
“I did not know that you had a panda too-aru!” China exclaimed, holding Safi out from him to get a better look. “She is so cute-AH!” he shouted in surprise when he realized that Safi was not, in fact, a panda. He snatched his hands away with a horrified look on his face at what he’d done. His face went red and he looked very flustered. “Ayia!Dao qian! Dao qianMissSafi! I did not realize that it was you-aru!”  
Safi wobbled a bit from being suddenly let go, but she soon steadied herself. She was blushing madly, yet a shy smile still made its way onto her face. “It’s okay China.” she said softly without meeting his eyes. “I don’t mind hugs.”  
SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! I thought, trying desperately to keep a giddy smile of in near-fangirl adoration off my face as I watched the two of their blushing faces. However, I kept the squeal inside as to not embarrass Safi any more.  
Thankfully she had the situation under control. “Thank you for sending Shinatty-chan to come tell us you were coming.”  
China smiled. “Isn’t he cute?” he said cheerfully.  
“… Uh… Yeah…” my friends and I said. Except for Safi, who had seemed undisturbed by the cat-man. She didn’t miss a beat.  
“Were you going to say that we had better get going soon China?” she said sweetly. “Where are we going?”  
“Oh yes!” China said, getting back on track. “It’s such a beautiful morning day that I thought, even though it’s midday now, maybe it would be fun for you girls to come and do some tai chi with me in the park!”  
“Tai chi?” Zara asked. “Is that like yoga?”  
China nodded. “It is in a way-aru. It is very relaxing. Come! Let us get going!” he gestured toward the door and we followed him out.  
I won’t bother to describe what I have before regarding our magical transportation to China, as I still didn’t understand it, but soon enough, we were in a place that was undeniably Asian. However, for once there were not a lot of other people around. We were in a public garden so quite a few people were walking around, having lunch and stuff.  
Wait a second. I stopped myself as I suddenly thought of something. “China, I have a question for you: If it was lunchtime at our house, in America, how the heck can it be lunchtime here, on the other side of the planet?!”  
China looked confused. “Haven’t you been told?” he asked. “Traveling with countries takes a bit of time travel-aru. When you leave a place at a certain time of day, you skip either forward or backward in time while traveling so that you arrive at precisely the same time at which you left in that new place. For example: if you left your home in America at about noon, and you were going to, say, Moscow, Russia,” China shuddered a bit at this. “You would essentially skip ahead eight hours in time and arrive at about noon in Moscow.”  
“… Wow…” I said, putting my head against my hand. “That’s not mind-boggling. Thank goodness if time travel has to exist, it’s at least limited.”  
“I’m sure we’ll get used to it,” Mari placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, although she looked a bit befuddled by this phenomenon also.  
However we were soon distracted from this reality by China, who was starting our tai chi lesson. “Right!” China said enthusiastically pounding his right fist into the palm of his left hand. “I shall be teaching the popular 24 Form Tai Chi Chuan! Its focus is to bring clearing of the mind and calmness-aru. I shall start with the first position. Please copy what I do and ask questions freely!” Facing us, China stood with his feet together and slowly bent his legs, putting his weight onto his right leg, and lifted his left knee and stepped out to the side so that his feet were shoulder-width apart. The he raised his forward-stretching arms level to a ninety-degree angle, and lowered his hands to his hips while lowering his body. “There!” he said. “Now you try.”  
“That’s it?” Alex asked. “Pfft, this is gonna be easy!” And so we all tried it and Alex was right; it was easy… at first. It started out simple, but slowly and steadily, each move became much more difficult. While the movements were slow and not at all stressful on the body, sometimes keeping balance was hard. You know how when you’re on a bike, the slower you go, the harder you have to work to keep balanced? It was like that in a way. But it wasn’t until the Heel Kicks that anyone had any real trouble.  
Safi was pretty much the only one who could come even remotely close to what China was doing, being in dance and yoga, and frankly more focused.  
“Aaaah!” Zara was the first to go down, and when she fell she took out Alex too like a stack of dominoes. “Dangit Zara!”  
“Whoa-oa, come ooooon, no!” That was the sound of Mari trying to straighten her outstretched leg. She too ended up on the ground.  
I was stuck just trying to raise my foot high enough, but before it was very high I’d always wobble and put it back down. It looked like I was trying to step on something hot with only my right foot. “Nrg, get up there!” I ordered my foot. Oh sure. Balancing things on my head? No problem! Balancing myself on one foot? Not a chance. In an effort to get past my poor balance, I just sort of threw my leg up in the air. That worked for a second, but my inflexibility wouldn’t allow my leg to straighten. I didn’t stay there for long anyways. “Goin’ down!” was what I said as I fell to the ground.  
“Aiya!” is what China said every time someone fell. He was rushing around, trying to right whoever was wobbling, missing a good amount of the time because my friends and I were falling left and right. We kept a good attitude about it though, going so far as to try and make each other laugh.  
“Hey guys I’m waterbending!” Mari said as she went through the motions while making ‘woosh’ sounds.  
Safi giggled. “Who lit Toff on fire?”  
“Love that show!” Zara exclaimed. Then, forgoing the tai chi routine, she shook her head quickly and opened her eyes wide. You could almost hear the weird music. “Drink cactus juice!” Zara acted as if she was holding something with her right hand, and waved the other one for effect. “It’ll quench ya! Nothin’squenchier! It’s the quenchiest!”  
“It’s a giant mushroom. MAYBE IT’S FRIENDLY!” I threw my hands in the air and did my best full body wave, then swayed exaggeratedly from side to side. “Friendly mushroom!Mushy giant friend!”  
Alex fell on her face in anguish. “MOMO NOOOOO! You’ve killed us allllllll!” Then she got up on her knees and pointed accusingly at Zara. “It was YOU! You ratted me out!” Zara in turn covered her face and cried.  
We were all on the ground laughing at that point, except for China, who was far beyond confused. “Are you all on drugs-aru?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Drugs are bad! They nearly ruined my country!!”  
“Calm yourself China,” I giggled as my friends and I pulled each other up. “It’s just America’s attempt at anime.”  
“Though Sokka was pretty much high.” Mari laughed.  
“Hey Zara,” Alex said suddenly, her foot in the air at another attempt to do the tai chi pose. When Zara turned to face her, Alex swung her leg and took Zara down. “Boom!” she said, breaking into a fit of laughter that was cut off when Zara tackled her at the knees, leaving the rest of us to pry the two apart.  
“It’s too early for this,” I said during another giggle fit.  
“I’m sorry China,” Safi said, trying to hide her giggles as she lifted Alex and Zara to their feet. “They’ll stay on track now, right guys?”  
“Right.” we giggled.  
Yeah, we’re liars.  
China tried teaching us the next move, where you had to go down close to the ground with one leg outstretched and the other under you. As I was on my way down, my outstretched, inflexible leg began to hurt. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, trying desperately to hold my pose and muttering “Hold it hold it hold it hold it.”  
“Lees do you have to go to the bathroom?” Zara asked.  
“Don’t do it here!” Alex joined in.  
This struck me as so funny that I lost my balance and fell over on my face. “You guys!” I complained, laughing as I picked myself up. “Don’t make me laugh!”  
Of course it became a game then: who could make who laugh by doing what. Poor China was trying to teach us while we were all providing slapstick humor, making faces (Zara’s are killer funny), making pervy jokes (I’m looking at you Alex), while Mari and I were just about dyingfrom laughter.  
Safi was somewhat amused by our antics, but was on China’s side of focus and so she tried to get us back on track. This earned her a lot of “Yes mom”s in teasing response.  
“Hey Lees! You’re a ninja! You should be good at this!” Alex teased as I fell over once again.  
“Ninjas are Japanese dipstick!” I laughed, though after that I’d add a ‘ninja sound effect’ to my movements every now and then.  
“Tai chi is supposed to be a relaxing, mind-clearing experience.” China sighed when we finished the whole routine.  
Feeling guilty, I said, “We are relaxed!” I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, exhaled, and tried not to quote ‘Inner peace. Inner peace.’ “See?” I said, continuing my deep breathing. “Completely relaxed-EEK!” I jumped and my eyes flew open when my side was poked. Already the culprit was laughing and I whirled to face her. “I’m gonna kill you Zara!” I yelled as I chased her around the park.  
“Yes.” Safi said from where she and everyone else stood, watching and laughing at us. “Completely relaxed.”  
~~NI HAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~~  
Thankfully China wasn’t upset by our lack of focus. He simply shrugged it off (not literally, I guess they don’t shrug in Asia) and said, “I am used to dealing with childish adults.” with a smile. Then he took us to his house.  
“Wok!” I couldn’t help but exclaim when I saw the large round pan. “I love woks!”  
“They are good for cooking and fighting as well!” China said cheerfully and got right to work, leaving me dumbfounded as to how a wok could be used as a weapon.  
“What’s this?” I heard Zara say in the next room, so I got over there quickly to see what was going on and possible prevent something from breaking.  
Thankfully, all Zara was looking at was a round table with another, smaller, spinning table on top. Zara was repeatedly spinning the center part, looking a bit like a cat playing with a toy. “Why does it spin?” she said in fascination.  
“It’s a Chinese thing.” Mari explained.  
Alex eyed the table curiously. “Could it spin a person?” She and Zara looked at each other and suddenly Zara was helping Alex climb up on the table.  
“No no NO!” Mari said as she grabbed Alex from behind and lifted her down. “We do not climb on other people’s tables!”  
“But Mari it’s so spinny!” Alex whined.  
“But Alex it’s so rude” Mari crossed her arms.  
“But spinny!”  
“But rude!”  
“Spinny!”  
“Rude!”  
“Spinnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”  
“Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!”  
“Both of you calm down!” Safi pushed the two apart.  
“Yes mom.”  
I’m not your mother!” Safi told a now laughing Mari and Alex. Sighing with exasperation, Safi said, “I’m going to see if China needs any help in the kitchen." But before she could we heard a BANG and a lot of clattering in the next room.  
So much for making sure nothing breaks.  
"Holy crap China!" We heard Zara's voice coming from the room. "What's with all the bottles?"  
"Zara," I said, stalking into the room. "You shouldn't snoop-... Whoa. That... is a lot of bottles."  
Zara was found sitting on the floor, which was littered with loads of small, old bottles and an empty cabinet turned over on its side with the doors wide open. Think of The Emperor's New Groove, where the bottles where everywhere, except they weren't all filled with pink fluid, they didn't have the spiky thing on top, and the cabinet wasn't shaped like an owl. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what happened. Thankfully nothing had broken.  
"China," Alex said as she, the rest of our friends, and the nation also entered. "...Are you a drug dealer?"  
"They are not drugs-aru!" China said as he and Safi began picking up the bottles. "At least not that kind. No, these are medicines."  
"How can you tell what they're for?"Mari asked, picking one up and examining it. "It doesn't have any labels." She picked up a few more and scanned each one in turn. "None of them do."  
China, now holding numerous of the mysterious bottles, answered, "They're secret medicines."  
"Secret medicines." I repeated flatly as Alex and Zara giggled.  
"Yes." China continued simply. "Even I don't know what is in them..." He turned to me. "Would you like to buy some-aru?"  
My friends sniggered behind me as I held up my hands and took a step back. "Uh, no thanks."  
Just before China could launch into a sales pitch, the sound of a door slamming open made Mari jump a whole foot into the air.  
“TEACHER!” two voices, one male and one female, shouted.  
China’s eyes widened and he groaned. “Why? Why now?” he asked no one in particular. “I’m in the back room! I told you two not to come by today!” he yelled in the direction of the shouts.  
“But Teacher! We wanted to meet the human-girls-who-know-our-secret too!” the girl’s voice complained down the hall, soon followed by the girl herself and then the guy.  
The girl was a teenager who was a whole two inches shorter than Zara. Pink flowers were in her hair, which was long and brown, with a wild curly strand sticking out on the right side of her head. She wore wears a peach/bright pink-colored…oh what are they called… Oh! mandarin gown, with gold trim and long, flowing sleeves, and a long white skirt.  
The guy had a face that somewhat looked like China’s, with choppy dark brown hair that came down to his jaw and light brown eyes, which were bordered by thick eyebrows. Not as thick as England’s but thicker than the average person’s. He wore a burgundy jacket thing with black piping and oversized sleeves, and dark brown trousers.  
When the girl noticed us, her face lit up in pleasant surprise. “Hello!” She said friendly, bowing to us the same way China had when he first greeted us. “My name is Taiwan, and this is Hong Kong!” She gestured to the other guy. When he didn’t respond, she elbowed him in the ribs.  
Hong Kong grunted upon impact. “It is, like, nice to meet you.” He said blandly.  
“Likewise.” Safi said with a smile.  
“Uwaaaaa! You are so cute! Just like the stuff at Japan’s place!” Taiwan squealed and grabbed Safi’s hands. Safi was pretty surprised, but she smiled back.  
“Yes yes,” China said impatiently. “You have said hello, now you can leave-aru.”  
“Hold on a second there, b******!” Taiwan said, definitely contradicting the ‘teacher’ title she’d just used, and marched right up to China. “Why are you so quick to get rid of us huh? You said so yourself, you need time to prepare dinner, so we are here to help!”  
“Yes but I-” China tried, but he was interrupted again.  
“For the meantime, well,” Hong Kong said as he and Taiwan began ushering my friends and I out of the room. “We will be back in an hour or two.”  
Before China could protest again, Taiwan grabbed Zara and Alex’s hands, who grabbed ours as they laughed, and ran us all down the hall and out the doors of China’s house. Hong Kong said “YOLO!” completely without expression and followed at more of a walking pace.  
“Did we just get kidnapped?” Alex laughed.  
“Oh believe me,” Taiwan said as she turned to us and grinned. “You do not want to be stuck in the kitchen with that stick in the mud anyways.” She jutted her thumb back at the house.  
“So what are we going to do?” Mari wondered.  
Taiwan looked almost giddy with excitement. “Oh you will see,” she said. “I am going to make you girls look so cute!”  
~~INTRODUCING THE CHINESE PROVINCES THAT USED TO BE NATIONS-timeskip!!!~~  
I’m not so sure about this, I thought to myself, pulling down on the sides of the skirt of my aqua dress anxiously. The five of us had been put into mandarin gowns, which were very pretty but also very form-fitting. It wasn’t revealing or anything, although the slits on the sides went up a ways past one’s knees. I already had a dislike of skirts, so that plus the slits had me unnecessarily tugging down on the sides constantly.  
Safi must have seen uncertainty leaking through my face, for she said, “You look so nice Leesy!”  
She’s one to talk, I thought grudgingly. Taiwan was right; Safi looked adorable in her lilac dress.  
Seeking escape, I looked over at Zara and Mari and laughed as they simultaneously tripped over the fronts of their skirts.  
“I give up!” declared Zara as she flopped unceremoniously onto the ground in her lime green dress. “This is why I don’t do skirts.”  
“Come on Zara you can do it!” Mari encouraged, actively contemplating how to lift the front of her purple-blue dress without raising the sides. “Just be glad we’re not wearing heels.”  
“Says the person who needs them least but wears them anyway!”  
Mari grinned cheekily at Zara before tripping again and failing epically. “How do you do it Alex?” she asked.  
Alex gave a smirk, for she could walk around in her teal dress with ease. “Amateurs,” she said as she tossed her hair fabulously, earning laughter from all of us.  
That’s when Hong Kong and Taiwan came in with ribbons, flowers and a brush.  
“You all look so pretty!” Taiwan practically squealed, bouncing a bit in excitement.  
“I still think we should have varied the colors a bit.” Hong Kong said. “Come yellows and red would have been, like, nice.”  
“But they work!” Taiwan pointed out. “It’s like an ocean-y color scheme, and it looks great!”  
I could understand colors if they were art-related, but when Hong Kong and Taiwan got into an argument about how fashionably the colors complemented each other, I stopped listening because I don’t get fashion.  
Eventually Taiwan won and then she started doing up my friends’ hair and I sat with them. I watched as the nation (yes I considered both Taiwan and Hong Kong nations) rolled my friends’ hair into buns, tying them off with ribbons and adding flowers. It looked surprisingly really good, given that none of us have that naturally thick black hair that Asians possess.  
A couple of times I caught myself running my fingers through the back of my pixie cut. I couldn’t even remember what if felt like to have the weight of extra hair on the back of my head. It’d been a long time since I’d been able to do what normal girls do with their hair, such as put it in a ponytail or curl it, not that I’d ever spent much time on my hair anyways. I didn’t miss having long hair, not really; short hair was so much easier. Still, I couldn’t forget how good it felt to have someone play with my hair.  
“Hey,” Taiwan snapped me out of my current zone-out. “It is your turn!”  
I blinked, surprised, and said, “Uh, you can’t really do it up like normal.”  
“I know,” Taiwan replied, her smile unwavering. “but I will make it work.”  
After a pause, I smiled back and came over so that Taiwan could work. She combed my messy hair straight and smooth, then tucked a flower behind my ear. Simple yes, but it worked well.  
Hong Kong had my friends and I line up, then he and Taiwan looked us over, discussing last minute touches.  
“Finished!” Taiwan declared when they finally decided that they were done. “Strike a pose!” She through her arm up in the air and beamed.  
Without questioning, we all struck outrageous poses, and Hong Kong snapped a picture with his phone.  
“Uh,” I said, abandoning my epic airbender pose when I realized what had just happened. “That’s not going on the internet, is it?”  
“OMG of course it will not.” Hong Kong answered as he put his phone away, but his face was so unreadable that I couldn’t figure out if he was joking or not.  
“Now off to show Teacher-B******!” Taiwan said excitedly.  
“He had better like what we did.” Hong Kong muttered. “Or I will be mad but not really but maybe I will be.”  
Zara laughed. “So does that mean you’ll be mad or not?”  
“Whatever.” Hong Kong said. “We should, like, get going before it gets dark out.”  
“What?” Alex asked, looking outside. “But it’s not even evening yet.”  
For the first time that day, I saw Hong Kong’s expression change: not much, just a little bit of blush. “I… I do not like the dark.”  
“Okay, let’s get going then.” Safi said simply, leading the way so that Hong Kong didn’t have to discuss the subject anymore, which made me smile.  
China was nearly speechless with happiness when he opened the door and saw us. “Aiyaaaaaaaaaaaa!” he exclaimed, looking over us. “Kě'ài! Kě'ài! Nǐ hěn kě ài!” He took Safi’s hands. “Nǐ hěn piào liang!”  
Once the words had left his mouth, China’s eyes widened and he blushed profusely, making me cock my head and wonder what he had said. “P-please come in-aru!” He stammered as he held the door open for me and my friends.  
Traveling at the back of my pack, I noticed how China glaring at Taiwan and Hong Kong as they too came in, as Taiwan was giggling like a schoolgirl and Hong Kong smirked knowingly.  
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah,” I heard a long pant, and turned to see Zara with her jaw dropped, a trail of drool dripping down.  
“Zara stop being Soul-” I started, but when I saw the table I’m sure I looked a lot like Zara.  
It was absolutely covered in food.Fried rice, Chinese hot pot, hot and sour soup, Beijing roast duck,spicy tofu,almond tofu, noodles, soup dumplings, steamed dumplings, shrimp dumplings, pork dumplings, and more.  
China came in, saw our faces and smiled. “Would you like to eat?” he asked.  
We looked at him with wide eyes and nodded mechanically.  
He sat us all down, including Taiwan and Hong Kong, who China had decided could stay due to their work with us. At each seat was bowl of rice, a pair of chopsticks, flat-bottomed soupspoon, and a little plate.  
“Since you westerners eat so differently,” China said as everyone was sitting. “Let me explain something: everyone eats from the same bowl, picking out foods with chopsticks and soup with your spoon. The little plate is for bones, not food. Be sure to eat all your rice and an equal amount of everything.”  
“Understood.” I was just about to dig in when I noticed something. Both Zara and Mari were having issues with their chopsticks, holding them wrong, crossing them funkily, and utterly unable to pick up anything.  
“You guys don’t know how, do you?” I asked.  
Both of them looked up at me, looked at each other, then burst out laughing.  
“I’ve never tried!” Mari protested, so at least she had a legitimate excuse, except for the fact that that meant she’d never tried to eat Asian food with chopsticks which was completely unacceptable.  
“I have tried,” Zara laughed. “I’m sort of a lost cause.”  
So that of course meant that I had to teach them how to do it right.  
“I’ll show you. Look, you put one on the bottom between your first and middle fingers, like this, then hold other one with your thumb and your first and middle fingers, like this. No, no, move your fingers. There, put it there, then, yes, yes like that. Now move the top one. No, don’t cross them, put them together. No, don’t cross them, no!” I said, causing the two of them to break into fits of laughter.  
“Crossy crossy crossy!” Mari said in a high voice, unable to bring the two ends together, as she laughed her face red.  
“Try to pick something up.” I said, looking over the table. I took out a dumpling, since it was larger and somewhat squishy.  
Mari went first, her mouth wide in her persistent smile, laughing at herself as she dramatically opened her chopsticks and, slowly, enclosed them about the dumpling successfully.  
“Yes!” she cried, but in her excitement she had jerked her hand up and lost her grip on the dumpling, which flew into the air. In slow motion, it fell straight for the bowl of soup, sure to make a large splash. We all reached for the dumpling, yelling “Noooooooooo!” in low voices, but all seemed lost.  
With a sudden wizz something sharp flew through the air and snatched the dumpling out of sight. Just barely able to follow the flying projectile, I saw what turned out to be a chopstick embed itself into the wall like a dart, the dumpling having been skewered through the middle and now slid down the chopstick and stopped at the wall.  
Everyone turned back to where the flying chopstick of doom had come from, and we saw Hong Kong standing in a follow-through position.  
After a pause of surprise and amazement, we all broke into cheers and applause.  
“Dude that was so cool!” Zara exclaimed. “You’re like the Kung Fu Panda!”  
Hong Kong gave her a funny look, the he actually gave a small smile. “Thank you.” he said with a bow.  
“Maybe we should leave the chopstick-ing to the professionals.” Alex said with a grin.  
“We’ll bring the food to you.” Safi said, picking up some food and setting it in Mari’s rice bowl. “And put it in here.”  
“That is actually a Chinese custom-aru.” China put in. “To show someone that you care about them, you may put food in their bowl.” To demonstrate, he took a noodle and put into Safi’s bowl.  
“… Feed me!” Zara demanded, opening her mouth and tipping her head back like a baby bird. Alex laughed and responded by dropping some duck into the gaping hole.  
I laughed and then turned to filling my own mouth. The food was absolutely ambrosial, and I had no trouble sedating my growling stomach. But I did have a bit of trouble with the rice. Have you ever tried to eat rice with chopsticks? It’s darn near impossible, and I’d never finish it all if I had to eat grain by grain. “China! Tell me your ancient Chinese secret to eating rice with chopsticks!”  
“Like this.” China lifted the rice bowl to his mouth and shoveled in the rice in a way that would be considered very rude in the West, but definitely effective. He set down his bowl, swallowed and looked at me.  
“… Oh yes!” I exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” I lifted the bowl to my mouth and pushed the delicious fired rice in eagerly. When I’d had my fill, I swallowed and put the bowl back down. “It’s so much easier.”  
“Kind of messy, isn’t it?” Mari asked.  
“Yes,” Taiwan answered. “but it shows your satisfaction with the food and therefore is good manners.”  
Zara set down the rice she’d just shoveled into her bottomless pit. “I love Chinese manners.” she sighed happily.  
That reminded me of something, so I reached across the table and dipped my spoon into the soup. “Hey China,” I said. “Isn’t it true that it’s also polite to slurp?”  
“Yes, that is correct.”  
I took the chance to slurp up my soup, something I hadn’t been able to do in a while. “Mm, so good.”  
The rest of the meal was equally good, and it’s safe to say that everyone else agreed; China had made a lot of food, but quite a bit of it was gone by the time we were slowing down with fullness. Zara showed this by letting out a huge, very ladylike belch.  
“Zara!” Safi scolded while the rest of us laughed.  
“Pfft, nice push man!” I complimented Zara, who did not look the least bit ashamed.  
“L-Leesy!” Mari gasped between bouts of laughter. “Don’t encourage her!”  
“Actually,” Hong Kong said. “The Chinese consider burping, like, polite.”  
“That’s good,” Ales said. “cuz-” She was interrupted by a large burp of her own.  
As we laughed at that, china stood up from his chair.  
“Where are you going China?” Mari asked.  
“To get dessert-aru.” China explained with a smile. “Those with sweet tooths will love it, and those who prefer a salty taste will also love it!” After leaving the room for a minute, he came back in with a bowl of orange pudding-like stuff.  
“What’s that?” I asked, though from the way Safi’s eyes widened at the fruit smell of it, I had a pretty good idea of what it was.  
China set the bowl down on the table, then answered, “Mango pudding.”  
The next thing we knew, Safi ha nearly glomped China off his feet.  
“I think China’s officially won Safi over.” Alex chuckled, making Zara make a pervy face and me and Mari shushed them while laughing.  
“What-what is this for-aru?” China asked, blushing madly.  
As if just now recovering from the initial mango-shock and realizing what she’d done, she let china go. Backing up a few steps, she tried to compose herself, but she was blushing just as much as China.  
“She looooooooves mangos.” Zara explained. “It’s like her favorite food ever!”  
“Well, then,” China smiled at Safi through his blushing. “I expect that you’ll enjoy it, Miss Safi.”  
Safi nodded wordlessly, and for once didn’t protest as China pulled out her seat for her.  
~~CUTENESS OVERLOAD-timeskip~~  
“You must be swift as a coursing river! (We are men!)/With all the force of a great typhoon! (We are men!)/With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moooooooooooooon!” My friends and I finished out rendition of ‘I'll Make a Man Out of You’ for China as he finished walking us home.  
China smiled at our antics. “You five are very good at singing-aru.” he complimented.  
“Thank you.” Safi said softly as we walked up to our house.  
The Asian country stood at our doorstep as we all filed inside. “Thank you for spending the day with me.” he said. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” Was it my imagination, or did his eyes flit towards Safi?  
“No thank you!” Mari replied. “We had a really good time, and the food was amazing!”  
China smiled. “You are very welcome.” His eyebrows shot up in realization. “Oh! I almost forgot-aru!” Reaching into one of his large sleeves (Had he kept it in there the whole time?!) and pulled out a box and handed it to us. “I made these for you.”  
Alex took it and opened the box. “Omigosh!” she exclaimed, holding up what appeared to be a panda-shaped cookie. “They’re panda cookies!”  
My friends and I all crowded around her to get a taste, and they were very good!  
“Fank oo hina!” Zara attempted to thank him through a mouthful of cookie.  
“You are very welcome.” China said with a smile. “Now, I believe it is time for me to be getting back to my home. I still have Taiwan and Hong Kong to take care of. But I hope to see you again soon.” Okay, he was totally looking at Safi this time. Bowing, he said, “Zài jiàn.” and left.  
“Bye!” we called after him before closing the door. After a moment’s pause, Zara and I looked at each other and smiled.  
“It’s time.” She said.  
“It is.” I responded.  
Breaking into a run, we sprinted for the stairs, yelling “GET THIS DRESS OFFA ME!”


	15. ItaliAHHHHHH

thump Thump THUMP BANG “LEESY GET UP!”  
If you’ve ever had the-well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a pleasure-but the experience of jumping a foot in the air while you’re flat on your back, you know how it felt to be me early that morning. Placing a hand over my heart in an effort to slow its beating, I caught my breath and looked down at the form of Zara standing in my doorway. “Zara,” I said, rubbing my eyes slowly before lowering them and looking at her again. “How on earth would waking me up in the loudest, most sudden way possible BE IN ANY WAY A GOOD IDEA?!”  
Of course then I had to cross my arms and wait for her to quit laughing in order to receive my explanation. “You-” she gasped for breath. “You gotta come see this!”  
“See what?” I asked suspiciously.  
“Just come and see!” Zara grabbed my hand from where I sat in my loft bed and began tugging.  
I sighed, relenting. Facing outwards, I backed down my ladder, jumped to the floor and followed Zara down the hall and into her room. The rest of our friends were already there, their eyes trained on Zara’s loft bed before I entered the room. “What’s up there?” I asked cautiously.  
Alex giggled and Mari looked stuck somewhere between multiple emotions. Safi took my hand, led me over to the ladder of Zara’s bed and pointed upwards. I looked at her, up the loft, and back at her. Safi nodded. After glancing at Zara for permission, I began to scale the rungs of the ladder as quietly and without shaking the bed as much as possible. Once I made it to the top, I could clearly see that the bed was occupied. A large, human sized lump dwelled beneath the blankets, rising and falling softly with sleeping breath. Carefully crawling around and over the lump, I made my way to the pillow, where the person’s head lay also under the blankets. Reaching over, I very daintily gripped the corner of the blanket. I looked down at my friends, who all nodded, before proceeding to draw back the covers to reveal-  
“… Italy?”  
Sure enough, the Italian with the wacky hair-curl, and much else besides, was sleeping in Zara’s bed as contentedly as if it were his own. He had a blissful look on his face; his eyes closed with sleep rather than their usual extreme expression, and uttered a little “Ve” with every breath.  
Slowly returning the blanket to its previous position, I backed down back to the edge of the bed and down the ladder to the floor, not completely sure how to react. I looked a bit like Jack Sparrow in my confusion, gesturing in a wavering sort of way without speaking until I finally found words. “How…did he get there?”  
“I found him there when I woke up,” Zara said softly, for her anyway. “Just sleeping next to me. Nothing pery, just…sleeping.”  
“We don’t even need to whisper.” Alex said at normal volume. “This dude is one heavy sleeper.”  
“Okay, so what do we do?” Safi asked.  
“Wake him up I suppose.” Mari murmured, gesturing towards the country in question. “It’s your bed Zara.”  
“Aw, do I have to?” Zara whined from where she stood at the side of her bed, peeking between the mattress and the edge at Italy’s face. “He’s so adorable when he’s asleep.” She looked at us, and by the looks we gave her we didn’t have to say anything for her to groan dejectedly and say, “Fiiiiine.” Not bothering to be quiet of careful, she set her bed shaking as she climbed to the top, crawled over and began shaking Italy’s shoulders. “Hey Italy, time to get up.”  
The nation shifted and moaned softly beneath the blankets, but didn’t come out. Except for his arms however, which pushed out from under the covers and groped the air for a second before grabbing onto Zara and pulling her down with a yelp.  
I was up the ladder in a flash, just in case, but Zara was already laughing her head off when I got there, not at all bothered by the fact that Italy was cuddling her like a teddy bear in his sleep. “I can’t move!” she gasped between laughs. “I can’t get out!”  
“Well this is a great turn of events.” said Alex who had basically popped into existence beside me on the ladder, smiling pervily in a way that only made Zara laugh harder. “Where’s my camera?”  
“Come on,” I said, grabbing her shoulder to keep her from descending. “Help me get her outa there.”  
With a shrug Alex crawled up onto the bed and plopped beside Italy and Zara, who said, “That’s okay. I like it here.” and snuggled closer to Italy.  
I shook my head. “I swear, do you just not have an awkward mode? For anything?”  
“Nope!”  
Alex’s hands latched onto Italy’s arms and pulled, gently at first, but with more and more force when the country’s arms didn’t give an inch. “Geez,” she said, puffing a bit when she stopped to rest. “Dude’s got grip. Help me out here Lees.” So we each grabbed an arm and pulled and pulled and pulled. It wasn’t until we pulled with everything we had that we were able to part the Italian’s arms just enough for Zara to be able to slip out.  
“Zara,” Alex grunted as we strained to keep Italy’s arms spread. “Get out of there!”  
“No!” Zara refused, gripping Italy tighter.  
“Are you kidding me?!” I yelled at her, my hands beginning to slip. “Let him fudging go NOW!”  
“I can’t hold him-GAH!” Both of us let out loud exclamations as our fingers slipped and lost hold.  
“Okay.” I panted with the effort. “New plan.”  
Alex and I half-dropped off the back of Zara’s bed to regroup with Mari and Safi to come up with a plan, but it seemed like Safi already had one. Standing up on her tip-toes, she leaned into the side of the bed by Italy’s ear and whispered. “Italy, would you like some pasta?”  
“PASTA!” The reaction was immediate. Italy sprang up in bed like a springboard and looked around rapidly, his eyes still closed but with expression this time. “I want pasta! Where is it? Where-Oh! Ciao bella!” he said, looking down as if just now noticing that he was holding Zara. “Would you like pasta too?”  
“Italy!” I interrupted. “Could you let go of our friend please?”  
As if just now realizing that he was holding her, Italy looked down at his arms and said, “Oh! Sorry bella!” and let go.  
“No problem!” Zara chirped. “Did you sleep good?”  
“That’s well-OW!”  
“Si! I slept molto buono!”  
“Do you want some breakfst?”  
“Ve, will there be pasta?”  
“Why not!”  
“Yay! Pasta pasta pastAH!” Italy screamed as he tumbled off the edge of Zara’s bed to the floor.  
Everyone gasped and ran over to help him. “Are you okay?” Safi asked anxiously.  
“Veeeeeeeeee~!” Italy...well...made that noise. “Vedo stelle!”  
“Oooookay,” I said. “I think we need to get him downstairs.” So the five of us picked up the Italian and precariously made our way out the door, down the hall and down the stairs. Once we reached the bottom, we shuffled over to the living room and tossed Italy onto the couch, which woke him up, causing him to shoot upright and cry, “GERMANY HELP ME I’M BEING ATTACKED!!!”, which in turn caused Mari to jump a foot in surprise.  
“It’s okay Italy we’re not attacking you!” Safi tried to calm him down as Alex laughed on the floor at Mari, who was yelling “It’s not funny!” while Zara headed for the kitchen.  
“I’ll get the pasta!” she said over her shoulder.  
“Stop!” I told her. “Do not pass go, do not collect $200. We’re not having pasta for breakfast.”  
Both Zara and Italy turned to stare at me with shocked, pleading eyes. “But, but lady,” Italy whimpered. “Why not?”  
“It’s not a breakfast food.” I stated oviously.  
“But Leesy you loooooooooooove pasta!” Zara protested, grabbing my hand. “Come to the dark side Leesy. We have pasta and cookies!”  
“I’m aware.” I said, my mouth watering at the mere mention of the food. “but it’s not meant to be eaten for breakfast.”  
Their faces were so despondant that I could habe just told small children that Santa Claus isn’t real.  
I sighed and looked at the clock. “But after noon,” I smiled at Italy. “you’re allowed to feed us as much pasta as you want.”  
“YAAAAAAAY!” Italy jumped uo, grabbed Zara’s hands and they started dancing around the room.  
Flopping down on teh couch as I watched them dance, I realized that I was already tired. If this is just the begining of the day, I thought. What will the rest be like?  
~~MINECRAFT-TIMESKIP (because I can)~~  
“Benvenuti in Italia!” Italy declared once we entereed his country.  
Now it’s been a dream of mine to visit Italy for a long time, so I was absolutely extatic, but I have to admit that I was a little bit worried. Our guide wasn’t exactly, um, on track...about anything. Italy had the attention span of a squirrel, and Zara, who was quite the distraction to him, was no better. So I did my best to keep everyone together (we didn’t want to repeat our fiasco in London) because I wasn’t so sure about how well Italy would do at keeping track of us. However, that didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to enjoy it thoroughly.  
“Tell me you remember the Coliseum fight.” I said to my friends when we stopped in Roma at said location.  
“Of course!” Mari replied with a smile, then she changed the pitch of her voice and quoted “I hate Wonder Bread.”  
“Yes!” I exclaimed, touching one pointer finger to my nose and pointing the other at Mari. “Oh! I got an idea. Okay, um, Otis!” I said, pointing at a confused Safi. “Ephialtes!” I pointed to Zara. “And-oh, uh,” I stopped at Alex, who didn’t know the books. “You…come over here.” I lead her a little ways off from the group and whispered something in her ear. “Got it?” I finished.  
Alex grinned with mischievous anticipation. “Got it.”  
“Good! Now Mari, run!” I exclaimed, grabbing her arm and running away across the arena. While the floor of what was once a great stadium wasn’t exactly battle-ready anymore, I had decided to make the best of it.  
“Ve, what are the ladies doing?” I head Italy ask behind us.  
“Not sure,” Zara replied. “But I’ve got a pretty good idea.”  
Stopping not all that far away, I dropped suddenly to the ground, taking Mari with me. “Hey!” she yelped. “Lees what are you doing?”  
“We attack together,” I quoted, ignoring Mari’s question in the hopes that she’d catch on. “Otis first, because he’s weaker. Take him out quickly and move to Ephialtes. Bronze and gold together-maybe that’ll keep them from reforming longer.”  
Mari’s eyes widened in realization, but not for the reason that I’d hoped. “Oh no,” she said. “I am not being Jason!”  
“Oh come on!” I whined out of character. “I’ll let you be Percy next time!” I didn’t want to be Jason either. While it was true that we were warming up to him, Jason was never Percy, Jason is not Percy, and Jason will never be Percy. Besides, it was cannon that Percy was more powerful; Hazel had said so herself. He totally would have won that showdown in The Mark of Athena.  
“Rock Paper Scissors for it?” Mari suggested.  
I hid my smirk as I got my hands ready and said, “Sweet.” A little known fact about Roshambo is that if you say a word that starts with the same letter as one of the three, your opponent is much more likely to put up that one. I’ve tried it and you wouldn’t believe how well it works. So if I said ‘Sweet’, then I did Rock…  
“Flip!” Mari ‘cursed’ when she came up with Scissors, which I beat with my Rock-fist. “Best two out of three?”  
“We’re waiting!” Zara called from where she stood.  
“No time!” I said, unable to hide my grin. “Say your line!”  
Mari sighed, grumbling a bit, but then said, “Why not? But Ephialtes isn’t going to stand there and wait while we kill his brother. Unless-”  
“Good wind today, and there’re some water pipes running under the arena.”  
“On three?”  
“Why wait?”  
When we burst out of our imaginary trench, a strange thing happened. You know how in shows when a character imagines something, the watchers can see it? Well it was like that, only we could see it. In our minds the arena was repaired into its original battlefield glory, ringed with thousands of cheering ghosts. Safi and Zara stood before us, looking the same as they had before, only twelve feet tall (and thank GOODNESS they didn’t look like the twin giants from the story. Talk about mentally scarring.) Together they lifted a plaster mountain over their heads. But before they could throw it at us, I raised my hands and made a water pipe explode under them as Mari airbended a blast of wind against Zara, who fell with the plaster mountain landing on top of her.  
“Hey Otis!” I yelled before Zara could recover. “The Nutcracker bites!”  
“Ahhhhhh!” Safi screamed softly and threw her spear, which Mari deflected with her golden gladius into the nearby lake. She and I backed towards said lake, slamming ballet as we did so, which caused Safi to barrel (Safi barreling? Never thought I’d say that. Oh wait BARRELS!) towards us unarmed in rage. Too late she realized her mistake and tried to stop, but Mari and I rolled to the sides, and Mari used the wind to knock Safi into the lake.  
“Sorry!” she cried out of habit, but still kept up with me as we attacked as one, launching at Safi and driving our swords into…okay the ground on either side of her head. Even in pretend we still couldn’t hurt Safi, who made a ‘poof’ noise as she exploded ‘into powder on the lake’s surface like a huge packet of drink mix’ as Rick Riordan would say. I churned the lake with my wanna-be-Percy-powers to keep Otis-Safi from reforming, and Jason-Mari blasted her head to bits when she tried to reform.  
BAM! A plaster mountain crashed behind us, and Zara made a very convincing Ephialtes, screaming and smashing around angrily as she came towards us.  
Mari struck Zara with lightning, but Zara only deflected it with her spear. Together, Mari and I attacked, fighting with sword skills we don’t have, Zara deflecting them with spear-skills she doesn’t have. “I will not yield!” she yelled, unable to keep from laughing. “You may have ruined my spectacle, but Gaea will still destroy your world!”  
I used the bronze sword Riptide (not gonna lie, wish I had it) to cut Zara’s spear in half, but she only whacked me with one end, which sent me flying in the opposite direction of my sword. Mari tried to stab but was still blocked, then Zara kicked her backwards, sending her and her sword away from each other too.  
As I lied on the ground in mock pain, I made a hand gesture that I hoped caught a certain someone’s attention, and sure enough, a shadow began to rise over Zara. Safi tried to warn her, but all she could get out between the swirling waters and trying to reform was “Uh-umh-moooo!” which almost made me quote another Percy Jackson book, but I saved it for another time.  
“Don’t worry, brother!” Zara said as she loomed over us (Zara looming-HA!) “I will make them suffer!”  
“Actually,” I said with a smirk. “Look behind you. NOW!”  
Mari and I rolled out of the way just as Alex leaped onto Zara’s back, bringing her to the ground with a thump. For some reason, she was not in the form of a giant flying war-ship. “I have been told that I am the Argo II!” Alex proclaimed as she stood on Zara’s back. “Fear the amazing-ness that is me! Ta-da!” she took a long, sweeping bow.  
“Yay!” we heard cheering and one set of hands clapping, which snapped us back into reality. Once again we were just five anime girls playing in the dirt, with a happy Italian applauding our theatrical efforts.  
“Whew!” Safi said, standing up with a grin. “That was fun!”  
“Alex get off!” Zara grunted from her place on the ground, looking for a fight the moment she was released. “You!” she said once she’d staggered to het feet, pointing accusingly at Alex.  
I was just doing as I was told!” Alex laughed as she put her hands up. “Don’t shoot the messenger!”  
Turning to a new victim, Zara saw me and said, “YOU!”  
With a shout of laughter, I ran as Zara chased me around Mari, who was laughing too hard to do anything. Thankfully, someone else got to Zara before I lost speed. It was Italy, who enveloped Zara in a hug she couldn’t escape from if she’d wanted to.  
“Ve, that was really good bella!” Italy exclaimed. “You were really scary!”  
Zara made a whining noise at the back of her throat and looked at me. “You get out of it, this time.” She said, sinking into Italy’s hug.  
“Let me guess,” Mari said to Italy, recovering from her laugh attack but still grinning. “You have no idea what that was.”  
Italy beamed. “Not a clue!”  
~~VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~~  
“Oof! I can’t make it!” I wheezed.  
“You can do it Leesy!” Safi cheered me on.  
“Yes come on Leesy we’re almost there!” Mari joined her.  
“How do you even know?” I grunted.  
“I don’t!”  
“Pick up the pace or I’ll hop on too.” Alex chuckled threateningly.  
“Yeah faster horsey!” Zara exclaimed.  
“I swear you had all better shut the heck up or so help me I will gag you with your own socks!*”  
“Ve, why is the horsey-lady being so mean?” Italy asked.  
Alex snorted. “Yeah horsey-lady, be nice or else.”  
“We were just trying to help!” Safi and Mari said in mock-hurt tones.  
“I hate you all.”  
“No you don’t you love us!”  
Grumbling, I continued the stagger forward with Zara on my back. She had demanded a piggyback ride in compensation for my sicking Alex on her, even though she know full well that that’s how the story goes. Still, I was used to giving her piggyback rides, just not for so long. It’s not that Zara is heavy, no not by a long shot, but I had skinny noodle arms and not much endurance. Most of the time Zara hopped off when I got tired, but this time she had insisted that I carry her all the way to our next destination.  
“Italy,” I puffed. “There’s gotta be a faster way to get there!”  
“Well,” Italy said thoughtfully. “We could use the car… But Germany told me not to!”  
“Ah screw him!” I said at mention of the angry German. “He’s not here, and my muscle-less body is about to collapse, so can we please use it?”  
“But but I don’t want to make Germany mad!”  
“ITALY!”  
“Ah! Okay! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t yell like that! Wait here pretty ladies! I’ll be right back!” and just like that the Italian sped away.  
I was a bit confused as I watched the dust trail accumulating behind the Italian. I felt for yelling at him, but I honestly hadn’t expected him to be so afraid of me. It wasn’t like I was scary or anything.  
“Can I please put you down now?” I panted up at Zara.  
“Only if you say you’re sorry.” She replied.  
“Oh HECK no!” I exclaimed, promptly dropping Zara, which backfired when she didn’t let go of my neck, bringing me down to the ground with her, landing flat on my back with my head in her lap.  
“Ow!” Zara laughed. “Aw now my ***’s sore!” she complained, earning a ‘Language!’ from Safi and me.  
I groaned. “Yeah well I hurt my…everything.”  
Italy pulled up in a red convertible while we were laughing. “Ve! Hop in pretty ladies!” he called to us, beeping the horn happily.  
“SHOTGUN!” Zara called, hopping up so quickly that I didn’t have time to lift my head so it flung forward then fell back onto the ground.  
“I…am going…to kill her.” I moaned on the ground, unresisting as the rest of my friends helped me up and we headed for the car.  
Immediately I noticed a problem. Italy’s car was significantly smaller than America’s and the back seat had barely enough room for three passengers, let alone four. “Um, how are we going to do this?” I asked.  
“Get in the trunk Leesy.” Alex suggested teasingly.  
Gulping, I turned and eyed the trunk dreadfully. It wouldn’t be impossible to fit me in there, but I’d never make the drive in a place that small. No, I was too claustrophobic for that.  
“Just lay across their laps like you did that one time!” Zara offered from the front seat.  
“I vote Plan B!” I said quickly, raising my hand. My friends had no objections, so with Mari on the left, Safi in the middle and Alex on the right, I took a deep breath and lied down across their laps, trying my best to distribute my weight evenly over the three of them. When my head landed in Mari’s lap I crossed my arms over my chest like a mummy and pulled my legs in so that my feet were pressed up against the car door.  
“Alright, everybody ready? Let’s go!” Italy exclaimed, and without warning the car launched forward incredibly fast, the sheer speed rolling me onto my side and pressed up against my friends with a yelp. Just as suddenly, the car braked neck-snappingly fast, and if the car hadn’t been so small I would have rolled off my friends and onto the floor.  
“What was that?!” I gasped, looking up at my friends, but I didn’t receive any answers. Alex and Zara were too busy laughing, Safi stared out of Alex’s window wordlessly, and Mari just smiled and nodded, her eyes betraying inner panic.  
“Ve, where is the highway?” I heard Italy ask, then the car lurched to the right, making me bang my head on the door. “Oh there it is!” The car sup to the left, the sheer G-force sending the blood out of my face as my feet squished against the door.  
Swallowing a scream, I looked up at Mari, whose breathing had become faster. “Mari,” I said, commanding her attention. “Mari look at me. It’s going to be okay. Take deep breaths. Breathe Mari, brEATHE!” My words turned into a screech as the car went over a bump way too fast, sending me airborne. In slow motion, I looked around the car as I seemed to levitate. Italy was driving down the highway alright, but I’ve never seen such reckless driving! Barely able to keep strait, accelerating and braking spasmodically, and going wayyyyyyyyyyy faster than he should be, Italy careened down the highway like the victim in a car chase, or the bus from Speed.  
Snapping back into real time, I landed with a THUMP back down on my friends, who all shouted in response.  
“Wow you’re a really bad driver ItalyYYYYY!” Alex screamed and laughed as we drifted through another turn.  
“Everyone says that,” Italy said as he turned around to look at us. “But I’ve never had an accident!”  
“Italy look at the ROAD!” I yelled in a panic.  
“Whoopsie!” Italy said cheerfully as he turned back around. “We’re almost there-Oh! That was our exit! Hang on!” No one could contain their screams as the car did a huge turn at high speed, which was even less encouraging when it straightened out and my friends continued screaming.  
“What’s happening?!” I yelled over the screams, unable to see due to my current position.  
“GOING WRONG WAY!” Mari shrieked. “GONNA CRASH!”  
She had been scared into illiteracy.  
We were going to die.  
“There it is ladies!” Italy shouted. “Here we go!”  
You could hear the screams rise in volume as my friends saw the upcoming exit, then the car swung around, and all you could do was close my eyes and pray that we would make it. When the screams stopped, I realized that we had either made it or we were dead, but soon the car erupted into cheers.  
“We made it!” Mari sank back in her seat out of exhaustion. “We’re alive!”  
“That was AWESOME!” Alex screamed. “Let’s do it again!”  
“NO!”  
“I knew he’d make it!” Zara laughed, clapping Italy on the shoulder. “You’re a pretty good driver Italy!”  
“Ve, grazie bella!” The country responded. “That’s the first time anyone has ever told me that!”  
Safi didn’t say anything, but she released the death grip she’d had on Mari and Alex’s hands, leaning back and doing what I believe was some sort of yoga deep-breathing method.  
I, meanwhile, was attempting not to throttle the Italian. “Mari,” I said through gritted teeth. “Hold me down.”  
Her eyes widened and luckily enough the locked herself around me just before I attempted to spring into the driver’s seat. Safi and Alex did the same. “YOU-” I managed to get out before Mari very smartly covered my mouth with her sleeve.  
“Whoa Lees,” Alex laughed as she clutched my legs. “What’s got you so steamed?”  
“Italy?” Safi interjected. “How much longer until we arrive?”  
“Actually, we have arrived!” Italy said, braking with a massive jerk and parking the car. When all of us filed out, I guess my friends figured that I had calmed down by then.  
They were wrong.  
As soon as they released me I immediately charged up to Italy and yanked him down to my level by the collar of his shirt. “YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US!” I yelled, blowing the hair out of his face. “If you EVER put my friends in danger like that again so help me I will-”  
“Adaliz!” a chorus of voices shouted behind me. I turned my head to look at them, and in that instant I realized what I’d done. Instantly I was worried that my friends would be mad.  
“You can drop the overprotective-father mode now Lees.” Alex said, smirking but in a nice way. “And you might want to let go of Italy.”  
Immediately I turned back around and released the country, who was now blubbering incoherently in fear. “I-I’m sorry Italy.” I said, stepping back. “I didn’t, I mean-”  
“It’s okay Italy.” Zara stepped in, hugging the Italian to calm him down. “Lees isn’t really angry at you. She doesn’t yell when she’s really angry.”  
“But but, she was angry when she yelled at Germany!” the nation whimpered.  
“She wasn’t really angry then,” Zara told him. “Protective mode again.” She turned to me and smiled. “Right Lees?”  
Examening my feet, I scratched the back of my head sheepishly and said, “Yeah… Sorry Italy. I promise I didn’t mean it, I-” I was cut off by a Safi comfort hug.  
“It’s okay Leesy.” She told me. “We know you worry.”  
“Just try not to take it out on a nation next time.” Mari said with a friendly smile.  
I sighed. “Right.” I said, then went up to Italy, offered my hand and said “I apologize. No hard feelings?”  
Instead of shaking hands, I was suddenly engulfed in a huge Italy hug. ‘I accept your apology!” Italy said cheerfully as he let me go. “You’re not so scary after all!”  
There was no stopping the smirk from spreading over my face. “Really?” I asked. “RAH!” I jumped up right in his face and grabbed Italy by his shoulders, scaring the living daylights out of him.  
“Lees!” half my friends scolded as the other half and I laughed our butts off at the country who’d just run away screaming. “Come on,” I said through my laughter. We’d better catch up before he gets too far.  
~~TOMATOMATOMATOMATOMATOMATOMATO~~  
“Mm-mm, hmhmhmhmhm, tomato-mato-mato buon appetito!” Italy hummed, swinging his empty basket as he walked. We were on our way to a garden to gather ingredients for the homemade pasta sauce Italy intended on making us for dinner, which was much anticipated.  
“Say, what’s that song Italy?” Zara asked him.  
“Ve, just a little something I made up.”  
I think he was about to sing the rest out loud, but he was interrupted by some very angry yelling. As we entered a large tomato garden, I caught sight of two people already there. The one who was yelling what seemed to be profanities in Italian, Spanish and the Countries’ Language, was Italy’s brother, the Southern part, Romano maybe? The second I remembered to be Spain, who was just laughing good naturedly at the fuming Italian, continuing to pick tomatoes.  
“Hey! Hey fratello!” Italy called over to them, waving wildly to get their attention. “Hi there Romano! Hello to you big brother Spain! Me and the pretty ladies have come to pick tomatoes for pasta!”  
Both of them looked up and we started heading towards them. Spain waved back with a big smile on his face, but Romano facepalmed and muttered something about ‘my idiot brother’.  
“Hola, chicas bonitas!” Spain said friendlily. “It is so nice to see you again! Como estas?”  
“No speaky Spainish!” Alex protested, making Spain laugh and Mari twitch. “We be Frenchies!”  
“Lo siento-ah, my apologies miss.” He replied as Romano muttered something under his breath about hating France. “I was asking how you are.”  
“We’re fine, thanks.” Said Mari. “And you!”  
“Muy bien, gracias!” Spain said, and I figured the Frenchies could guess that much. “Romano and I were just talking about you, weren’t we Roma?”  
“Don’t call me Roma, *******!” ‘Roma’ protested, the redness in his face darkening along with his anger. “No we were not!”  
Spain slung his arm over the very resistant Italian’s shoulders. “Oh, come on Romano,” he said, rolling his R’s. “Don’t you remember? We were just talking about how you and las chicas got off on the wrong foot the other day. You were quite rude to them, especially since they’re girls.”  
Romano let out a sigh, and angry one but he still relented. “Fine.” He mumbled before turning to us. “I’m sorry I was such an *** the other day razagas. I didn’t mean to come across as so, so…”  
“Hostile?” Spain offered.  
“You shut the **** up!” Romano yelled angrily as he shoved away Spain, which only made the Spainyard laugh. Again, the Italian sighed anrgily, then he said, “Yeah, what he said. Could we start again, per favore?”  
My friends and I smiled. “Sure!” Safi said nicely. “Thank you for apologizing, and it’s okay, you seemed like you were having a rough day.”  
“No, that is just him.” Spain leaned in and said.  
“I’M GOING TO-A KILL YOU YOU SON OF A *****!” Romano screamed as he shot of furiously after the Spainyard, who just ran away laughing.  
As my friends, Italy and I watched them run, Zara leaned over and said to me. “I think I ship it.”  
“Ship what?” I asked, then pointed towards the entertainment. “Them?” I gave an exasperated sound. “You can’t just go shipping real people! This isn’t Tumblr! Besides, wouldn’t that be incest?”  
“What do you think?” Zara was ignoring me and asking Alex. “Ship it?”  
I rolled my eyes and groaned like a major teenager, then walked away from the shipping center to start picking tomatoes. After a while, everyone followed my example, including the two running around the garden. Romano wasn’t fast enough to catch Spain, who was practically toying with him, and eventually gave up on his chase. Spain was very nice about it-he smiled but didn’t gloat-but Romano was still Mr. Frowny Face when they got picking.  
When we’d all been picking for a good amount of time, I started to notice that there was a catchy tune drifting through the air. I couldn’t really pinpoint from where it came from, but it was becoming louder.  
“Hey, Spain! We’re gonna be able to harvest a **** of a lot of tomatoes again this year,” Romano called over to said country, seeming a bit more calm now. “*******.” Never mind.  
However, then he surprised my friends and I (though Spain and Italy didn’t act as if anything was different) by breaking out into song almost happily. “Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!/Red on the bottom and green on the top, toma- toma- tomato! Hmph!/There are tomatoes in my pasta!/And tomatoes on my pizza!/My charming red treasure, how I love tomatoes!” Then his face twisted back into frustration. “But/Wurst and potatoes are heretical things!/My brother eats them and just gets more- more- and more macho!/What is a Napolitan doing with Japanese cooking, you traitor!!” He swung his head around at that last part and yelled it at Italy, startling the poor country into screaming.  
At that point he turned around and saw that standing right behind him was Alex, who decided on a whim to make a pervy face, making Romano scream in an almost PDSD way, "Aaaah! It's a French! Protect me, *** **** *******!!" Then he turned back to his tomatoes and whined, "Don't leave me alone with that son of a *****!” Then he perked up again. “I'll give you another one! I'll give you a beautiful one!/Eat a delicious tomato and come dance with me!/Amore!/Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!/Ci Vediamo! Ah, Romano!/I'm South Italy!” Pressing his hands against his back and bending backwards, he groaned, “Aaah... I'm starving! But this isn't close to over, ****!" but he sprang back up and continued, “Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!/Red on the top and green on the bottom, toma- toma- tomato! Hmph!/Spain brought some! He brought some from America!/My country's national treasure, how I love tomatoes!/But/This isn't just for reciting words of love/The wine glass in his hand is always twink- twink- and twinkling/And when I was an adorable kid back, when I was ignored, that ****!”  
Just then he became the victim of a flying tomato from a tomato fight Zara and Alex had started. “AAAAAAAAAH!! *** **** it! I'm always the one being targeted!" Bending back to his tomatoes, he whimpered, “Spain, you bastard, come rescue me already!/Buono tomato, buono!/Tomato buono buono, ooh! Tomato!/The Mediterranean Sea too! O sole mio!/I'm South Italy!/I may not be useful with chores/And brother may be better with art and trade/And sometimes I may be as dumb as a bird/ But I...! But I...!!” He got frustrated to the point where he screamed, “CHIGIIIIIIII!!!” But sprang up again and sang, “Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato”  
I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and apparently neither could anyone else. “Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!” we sang the fade that we somehow knew was there.  
Romano looked very surprised at being joined, but in a pleasant way, and he couldn’t stop a small smile from crossing his features. “Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!!!”  
“Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato/Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!” We echoed enthusiastically.  
Romano threw back his head and sang, “Uno, Due, Tre, Dai!/I'll give you another one! I'll give you a beautiful one!” He tossed a tomato to one of my friends. “Eat a delicious tomato and come dance with me!/Amore!” I couldn’t tell when I’d started, but it was now that I looked down and realized that I was dancing, and I didn’t want to stop. “Buono tomato, buono!/Tomato buono buono, ooh! Tomato!/Ci Vediamo! Ah, Romano!/I'm South Italy!”  
The peppy music that really had come out of nowhere went on for a bit more before coming to a natural stop, then as mysteriously as it had started, it was gone. Geez, I thought to myself. We really must be in an anime.  
Romano was panting slightly, but he was smiling genuinely, if a little bit sheepishly, when it finished. “Thank you for singing along.” He said. “That was actually kind of-” Romano stopped, his eyes focusing on something behind us. Those same eyes widened, screamed one of the most girly screams I’ve ever heard, and leaped into Spain’s arms Scooby-Doo style. “KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT’S A TURTLE!”  
“A what?!” I exclaimed, more startled by his sudden outburst more than anything, and whirled around. Sure enough, in one of the tomato ditches behind us, there sat a little baby sea turtle. “Oh my GOSH it’s ADORABLE!” I exclaimed, stepping quickly to the baby and scooping it up gently in my hands. “It’s okay baby,” I said, cradling it as my friends gathered around. “What are you doing in here?”  
“Ve, it probably just lost its way to the sea.” Italy said, leaning over and squealing over the turtle higher than I could make my voice go.  
“Um, are you okay Romano?” Safi asked the other Italian, who was shaking in the Spaniard’s arms.  
Spain, who as trying desperately not to laugh, answered for him. “Oh, he’ll be fine.” He reassured us. “Awhile back there was a bit of a turtle pandemic, and poor Romano never quite got over it. He’s got a bit of chelonaphobia now.”  
“Shut up, you jerk!” Romano shouted at him. “I’m not afraid of no turtle!”  
“Really?” I asked, holding the baby turtle out towards him a bit.  
His reaction was immediate; with a shrieked Romano suddenly changed places in thin air, and was no longer in Spain’s arms but clinging to his back, peeking over his shoulder. “Aah! I surrender! Okay! Okay! I’m afraid of turtles! Are you happy now?”  
Spain laughed. “But I love turtles! Can I hold her?” he asked, stretching out his cupped hands, making Romano yelp and scream profanities at him when I complied. “What should I name her?”  
“You can’t name things you throw back!” Romano barked.  
“Once you name it,” Zara said, smiling at me. “You start getting attached to it! Now put that thing back where if came from, or so help me-!”  
“Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!” I joined her in singing and dancing in a very bad Mike Wazowski impression. “So help me, so help me, and cut! Heheh.”  
“She’s out of our haaaaair,” I sang dramatically, sending everyone who got it into laughter. “Da da da da dair,” I said when I couldn’t remember the words. “Da da da da dair, oh contraire, you’re my freinnnnnnnnnds, I love you.” Then finished with a big dramatic. “She’s out of our haaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiir!”  
“We should probably get her back to the sea.” Mari inerupted our laughter, trying to keep back her own. We all agreed in a sad fashion, except for Romano, who as more than willing to show us the way.  
“By Tortuga!” We called after the turtle as she swam away into the sea. “See ya later dude!”  
“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.” Zara and Alex echoed, bobbing their heads in a hippie-ish fashion.  
“**** you girls are weird.” Romano commented. “Well at least that’s over.”  
“Ah, there’s my happy Roma~!” Spain said teasingly as he pinched the cheek of Romano, who pushed Spain away but seemed more annoyed than angry.  
“Ve, we’ve got all the tomatoes we need for the pasta!” Italy said happily. “But I still have more to show the pretty ladies! Fratello, we’ll see you at dinner, okay? You too big brother Spain!”  
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Spain replied for the both of them. “Hasta luego chicas!”  
“So, what do you think?” Zara asked as Italy lead my friends and me away. “Ship it?”  
“What?” I asked, caught off guard. “Them? No!”  
“Oh come on Leesy!” Alex protested. “You have to ship them! It’s adorable, isn’t it?”  
I sighed. “Well, maybe just a little.”  
~~ITALIANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~  
I leaned back in my seat and sighed deeply, or tried to at least. “I can’t eat…another bite.”  
“Mmf, you guys are weak.” Zara said from the table, where she and the Italys were still going at it. The rest of my friends, Spain and I had all bailed out when are stomachs had reached their maximum capacity and were now lounging lethargically in the living room.  
“Zara,” Safi groaned. “You’re gonna…throw up.”  
Said Ducky just popped another forkful in her mouth. “Don’t’ care.”  
“We really should be getting home.” Mari rose slowly to her feet. Italians eat late, and it was dark out already. “How are we going to get home? We’re not much for walking at this point.”  
Alex’s head popped up from where she lied upside-down on the couch. “Let’s have Italy drive us!”  
“NO!”  
Spain laughed really hard at this. “I can see that you’ve already had a taste of Italian driving, sí?” he said when he could breathe again. “I will drive you home if you like.”  
“Do you drive like an Italian?” I asked nervously.  
The Spaniard laughed again. “No, I do not.”  
“We should really get going then, if you don’t mind.” Mari said as she headed for the door.  
“Aw, mom do we have to?” Zara asked Safi as Romano dropped to the ground behind her.  
“I’m not your mom and yes we do.”  
“Grr. Bye bye Italy!” Zara said as she hugged the country, the rest of us echoing her. “Thank you so much for everything!”  
“Ve, you’re welcome bella!” he smiled and hugged back. “We should do this again sometime, yes?”  
“Yes, but we’ll walk next time.” Mari said with a grin.  
“Bye Italy. Be sure to check for monsters under your bed before you go to sleep.” I said as I walked out the door.  
A scream emanated from the house as we entered Spain’s car. “Ah! Monsters? I don’t-a like monsters! They’re scary! Fratello! Fratello wake up! There’s monsters! Protect me! Germanyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”  
“What did you do?” Safi asked tiredly.  
I grinned. “Found a new hobby.”


	16. Scheisse

“I can’t believe this.” I grumbled as I slammed my door shut. Walking down the stairs, I ranted, “Who, I mean who would insist for someone to be at their house at seven? Seven! A M! Had to get up at six! I hate getting up at six! Who makes people get up at six? In the morning?!”  
Safi sighed from where she sat at the table pouring tea for herself and Mari. “Leesy come have some tea.” She said. “It’ll calm you down and make you more alert for the day.”  
“No thanks.” I said through gritted teeth, trying to be nice, as I angrily stuffed a piece of bread into the toaster. Slamming down the toaster handle unnecessarily hard, I turned and crossed my arms. “You only made enough for you two so you can have it to yourself.”  
“I can make more.”  
“No, I don’t care much for tea anyway.”  
“Coffee then.” Zara said, making a pot of said liquid while keeping pushing Alex away from it simultaneously. Strangely enough the caffeine-filled drink did not affect our most hyper friend, though it did a number on the close second.  
“I don’t like coffee.” I grouched as rummaged through the cupboards for peanut butter. “I don’t wanna be dependent on caffeine.”  
“Picky picky,” Alex said, trying to reach over Zara’s shoulder and steal the pot. “And that’s coming from me!”  
“Shut up.” I said dejectedly, ‘grrr’-ing while I strained to open the new jar of Jiff.  
“Then stop being grumpy.” Mari said as she sipped some tea. “It’s not doing any good.”  
When the toast popped up, I snatched it, slapped some peanut butter on it and stuffed the end of it right in my mouth as I stomped back upstairs. “I swear I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.” I grumbled through the toast.  
“No you won’t.”  
“Yeah I won’t.” I sighed as my friends disappeared down below. Quickly finishing the toast, I went back into my room to get dressed. “What does ‘training’ even mean anyway?” I asked myself. To be honest, the aspect of the thing made me nervous. I’ve never been good at anything physical, and the amount of muscle on my body was pretty much at its bare minimum, which was 100% my own fault. I actually really like sports, but I was never on any actual team. Part of it was laziness, and part of it was not wanting to deal with the drama-queens on our school’s sports teams. I did join the swim team with Mari for a couple of years, got pretty good at the breaststroke too, but I could never keep up with the team and never won a race. It was fun while it lasted though.  
Eventually I did quit crashing around my room and succeeded in getting ready for the day. It felt pretty weird to be going somewhere in basketball shorts and a thick-strapped tank top, but at least all my friends were going with me. “Alright,” I said as my friends and I gathered at the door. “Are you guys ready for this?”  
“Yeah let’s go!” Mari said in her usual peppy way. “To Germany!”  
As we all headed out, I thought of something. “Hey guys,” I said as Zara through the door open. “How do we walk to Germany?”  
We all froze in the doorway and realized that none of us knew how to do the country-teleport-time-travel thingy.  
“Well, the countries said it would just be different for us, right?” Safi said. “So if we just start walking, we’re bound to end up somewhere, right?”  
“Yeah, but where?”  
“I guess we have no choice.” Alex said as she stepped outside, then she covered her eyes with one hand, pointed outward with the other, and spun. “I say we go,” she stopped spinning and uncovered her eyes. “That way!”  
“Good enough for me!” Zara chirped as she trailed Alex out into the woods, Mari and Safi following them.  
“Wait, guys,” I called, running after them. “Can’t we do this more scientifically? Like, head east?”  
“Which way is east Lees?” Alex called over her shoulder.  
I looked around for the sun. “Um, there!” I located the sunrise. “And Minnesota is to the north so we should go…that way, ish?” I quickly shut my mouth when I realized that that was the direction we were going and followed without another word.  
We walked for a long time, trying our best to replicate what the countries had done when they’d taken us to their homes. Too bad we hadn’t been paying attention. We figured that, if it really was that simple, if we just thought about where we wanted to go then we would somehow end up there.  
“Face it you guys, we’re lost.” I said as we wandered around. It was really hard to tell if we were making any sort of progress at all, given that there was just woods, woods and more woods.  
“No we’re not,” Mari said, spinning a bit and looking up at the trees. “We’re just…not there yet.”  
“I can’t see the sun anymore.” I said. Looking at the trees I got an idea, but it took me awhile to find a tree that would work, given that most of the their branches were high above our heads. “Zara,” I said when I found a good pine tree with thick, low boughs “Be Bilbo and climb that tree to find the sun.”  
“As long as you guys don’t get captured by giant spiders while I’m up there.” She giggled as she swung up and I shivered.  
“See anything?” Alex called up into the tree.  
“Not yet!” Zara shouted back, hidden from our sight by the leaves. “Almost there-Oh. Uh, guys, I can’t go any higher! It’s getting to narrow, and these branches aren’t going to support me much longer!”  
“Don’t hurt yourself!” Mari yelled into the tree. “Can you see anything?”  
There were some rustling sounds, then she answered, “Not really. I can’t see the sun through the other trees.”  
“Great.” I mumbled to myself. “Come on down then!”  
After much more rustling, our duck was safely on the ground again. “Well, what now?” she asked as she jumped to the ground.  
Safi raised her hand, just something she does since the rest of us are so loud. When we called on her, she said, “I have an idea.”  
“We’re all ears.”  
Without saying anything, Safi turned from us and walked up to one of the trees. Reaching forward to stroke its trunk, she said in her own soft way, “Excuse me, Mister or Missus Tree, could you please tell us which way we might go to get to Germany?”  
I think it’s safe to say that our stares of astonishment and confusion were justified.  
“Um, Safi dear,” Mari said with a nervous smile. “Why are you talking to the tree?”  
“I’m asking for directions.” Safi answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.  
“I don’t think it’s that kind of anime Saf.” I said concernedly.  
“Trees don’t talk, silly girl.” Came a voice from…the tree? “But I do!” Then a bloody body fell down and hung from the tree.  
“I DON’T WANT TO BE IN THIS ANIME ANYMORE!!!” I yelled as my friends and I screamed.  
“H-Hey! What’s-a the matter?” Said the body. No, wait, it wasn’t a body. A very alive boy of about our age hung from his knees on a low branch. He looked like the Italian brothers, sporting an angular curl, brown hair and green eyes and he wore black pants with a green shirt. Even though he was alive, there was a red liquid dripping off his face. “Why are the bellas screaming? Why do people always scream when I hang from a tree and pour ketchup on my face?”  
“Dude why would you pour ketchup on your face?” Zara asked.  
“More importantly,” I held up a hand, then pointed it at the guy. “Who are you and why are you here?”  
“I’m-a Seborga!” the guy said with a bright smile, and he attempted some sort off upside down-bow. “And why shouldn’t I be here? This is my country after all.”  
“Seborga? That’s right, it’s a micronation in Italy. One of us must have been thinking about yesterday.” Mari made a face. “Boy, we were way off.”  
With a shout, ‘Seborga’ suddenly fell to the ground with an ungraceful THUMP. “Ooooooow,” he moaned. I could see how this guy was somewhat related to Italy. What would they be though? Brothers? Cousins? He sprang to his feet and turned to us with an aura of sparkles. “Way off?” he asked cheerfully. “Which way are you pretty ladies headed?”  
“Germany.” Alex said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Not that it’ll be much fun.”  
“Aw, why are you going to see that stick-in-the mud?” he asked, walking up to us and giving a sweeping bow. “I could take you on a tour of my home, if you like.”  
Flirt, was the word that entered my head. “Thanks, but maybe another time. We have to get to Germany’s by seven, and we’re not making good time, so if you could just point us in the right direction that would be great.”  
“Seven? A M? Seborga asked. “I’m not even usually up by this time, let alone seven.”  
I sighed. “I know, ridiculous ri-… Wait. What time is it now?”  
Mari lifted her watch to her face. “Mm, oh, uh, it’s 7:20.” She looked up nervously.  
Throwing my hands up in exasperation, “Of course it is!” I exclaimed.  
“Not to worry bellas!” Seborga winked. “I’ll help you out! Germany’s that way!” he pointed through the trees.  
“Thank you so much!” Safi said as she began to lead us off in that direction. “We really appreciate it!”  
“Non c’é problema!” Seborga answered as he waved. “Come back to visit some time! Oh, and try to think about German things! Guns, strictness and stuff! Bouna fortuna!”  
“Guns and strictness.” I said to myself as we walked away, thinking about how Germany seemed to be. Us being late didn’t seem like it would end well. “Non c’é problema.”  
~~AND A WILD SEBORGA APPEARS~~  
“This looks like Germany.” Zara said as we entered some sort of grassy clearing. “Mountains right? And rolling hills?”  
“Reminds me Heidi.” Safi said, happily plopping down in the lush grass to pick wildflowers.  
I studied the mountains intensely. There was something I was forgetting. “Yeah,” I said. “Only Heidi took place in…” My eyes widened and I spun around as I heard a gun being cocked. “SWITZERLAND!”  
BANG! Everyone hit the grass. “Who’s hit?!” I called frantically, trying to look around but stay down at the same time. “Did he get anyone?!”  
“No.”  
“Nope!”  
“We’re fine!”  
“I hate guns.”  
A sigh of relief preceded a rolling wave of anger inside me. I stood up and faced the direction from which the gun was fired. I could see the country himself, specifically his blond hair behind his rifle. “HEY SWITZY!” I screamed at him. “I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR @$$!” But before I could even take a step in the nation’s direction, a voice shouted from behind me, “Take her down!” I was knocked off my feet and landed on my stomach. I struggled to get up but the weight on my back made that impossible.  
“Cool your jets Leesy!” came Zara’s voice from on top of me.  
“Zara!” I growled. “Let me up!”  
“No can do Leesy. Mari’s orders. And you’re so weak you can’t even get up!” she teased.  
The real kicker? She was right.  
I groaned and cursed into the dirt. “Where’s Safi?” I asked, knowing how she felt about firearms.  
“Alex’s taking care of her.” Sure enough, I turned my head and saw the two of them struggling a few yards over.  
“Mari?”  
“Negotiating.”  
“If she gets shot you’d better let me up.”  
“If she gets shot, we’ll kill him together.”  
Leaving it at that, I craned my head around to watch Mari. Sure enough, she was walking towards the country with her hands up, calling back and forth to each other. Thankfully, the Swiss had put his gun down. The only words I could make up were a huge chain of ‘I’m sorry’s coming from Mari. While I couldn’t hear anything else, I could see a lot of pointing.  
Eventually Mari returned in one piece (ONE PIECE!) and said, “Mr. Switzerland was just mad at us for trespassing and he didn’t realize it was us, but because it is us he’ll let us off with just a warning.”  
“Oh thank goodness.” I growled sarcastically.  
Mari gave me a look before continuing, “He says that we’re almost to Germany. We just have to keep going that way.” She pointed in the same direction as before.  
“Let’s get going then, before I snap his gun in half.” muttered a nearly ballistic Safi.  
“Can I trust you two to keep your heads on? Well?” Mari asked when we didn’t respond.  
Turning her head in the grass, Safi looked at me with a question in her eyes.  
I let out a puff of breath. “He gets three strikes. That was one. If he actually shoots someone, we kill him on the spot.”  
Safi nodded.  
“Geez, you two need to calm the heck down.” Alex chuckled as she let Safi up.  
“Come on.” Safi said, grabbing Alex and dragging her in the direction Mari had pointed. “Let’s get going before I forget how baseball is played.”  
~~We’ve been lost for a while huh? Well now to the actual country!~~  
“This place had better be Germany,” I grumbled as we exited the woods once again. “Or I swear I’m going home.”  
“VHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!”  
Yup. We were in the right place.  
“IT IS EIGHT O’CLOCK!” yelled the rather large, angry German as he stalked up to us. “VHAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY MADE YOU SO LATE?!”  
“CALM-ahem, calm yourself, Germany.” I stopped myself, desperately attempting to stay calm myself. I’d promised my friends that I’d try to stay civil, no matter how mad Germany was at us. “Listen. We’d never done this wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey-spacey-wacy*-space-time-travel-thingy you countries do by ourselves before, so it was new to us. We ended up in a few unprecedented places, but we had every intention of coming here on time. I’m sorry that we’ve, inconvenienced you.” I finished with much effort.  
Germany looked somewhat sedated, but somewhat confused. Might’ve been the ‘wibbly-wobly-timey-wimey-spacy-wacy’. That usually throws people off.  
“Alright. I understand.” The country responded. “Do you understand how it vorks now?”  
My friends and I nodded.  
“Zen please attempt to be here on time in ze future.”  
“Fine. Guten morgen by the way.” Relaxing a bit myself.  
Germany nodded, turned and motioned for us to follow him. Ahead of us was a large open field with a quarter-mile track (or, I guess, the European version of one).  
Once we got down there, Germany turned to face us with a determined look on his face. He looked ready for training, with a black wife beater (Seriously, why do they call them that? Aren’t they just tank-tops?), a green army jacket draped over his shoulders, a pair of green, Um, what do they call those pants that are bigger around the thighs… Oh! Breeches! Also a green cap, black gloves, and boots.  
“Today I am going to assess your physical fitness.” Germany informed us. “I do not know vhat ze vorld you came from vas like, but here many crazy zings can unt do happen. Especially now zat you are directly involved viz ze countries, it is important to know how capable you are of taking care of yourselves. I vill be assessing you in terms of strengz, speed and endurance. Understood?”  
“Yes sir!” we all responded with a salute, somehow naturally responding to the nation’s militaristic aura.  
“Gut. Now, a five minute varm-up jog around ze track. Go!”  
So it begins, I thought as my friends and I took off down the track, praying that it wouldn’t be too bad.  
I should have known better.  
After the warm up, That was only five minutes?!, we did some stretching, in which Safi kicked all of our butts, reaching her hands all the way down the length of her foot to her heels. Alex could touch her toes, so could Mari, and Zara could do it too.  
“Sehr gut.” Germany told them, then he looked at me. Oh fudge it. “Come on Adaliz. Reach further.”  
I puffed and stretched till it hurt, but my toes were still a good few inches away. “It’s no good.” I said, straining to keep the position and talk at the same time. “I’m as inflexible as an out of shape man.”  
Of course Zara made use of my unbalanced position and pushed me over.  
“I’M GONNA WRING THAT DUCK’S NECK!” I screamed as I scrambled up to get Zara, who was already running away, laughing. Just when I had begun my all-out sprint, something caught my shoulder, but my feet kept going, which caused my whole lower body to swing forwards into the air. I was just about to land flat on my back like Charlie Brown when I was yanked strait upwards by the same shoulder, and with a yelp I was dropped strait onto my feet.  
“Oi!” (I watch so much Doctor Who I’ve become an American who says Oi) I protested, but it came out like more of a squeak, which was not what I was going for. “What’s the big idea?” I asked as I turned towards Germany, who released my shoulder to look at me with those stone blue eyes.  
“No fighting.” He said sternly.  
“But she-”  
“Nein!”  
I let out an annoyed sigh. “I know where you live!” I shouted at Zara, who made a face at me and laughed.  
“Leesy got in trou-ble,” Alex sang softly, making my friends laugh and my face heat up.  
“Next is pushups.” Germany interrupted us. “As many as you can do in a minute.”  
“Can we do it on our knees?” Zara asked as she rejoined us.  
“Nein. Now get going.”  
Stifling a groan, I got down and attempted to start. I was kind of cheating since I didn’t go all the way down, but I really couldn’t manage it. My arms were shaking, FRIKIN NOODLE ARMS, I was already sweating already, Who the heck ever said that girls glow? FUDGING. WRONG, and my face was beet red. It does that when I exercise. People always think I’m going to pass out or something; apparently I look like a tomato. It’s quite embarrassing.  
Don’t notice don’t notice don’t notice!  
Either Germany was a mind reader or I jinxed it; when I looked up, there he was standing over me with his arms crossed over his chest. “Um, heh heh,” I chuckled nervously, fully aware of my appearance and my cheating. I got confused for a moment when he knelt down next to me, then something pushed down on my back so hard that my stomach was forced to the dirt with a thump.  
“All ze way down.” Germany said, and I realized that it was his hand on my back. Then he stood up and walked away.  
I took a moment to catch my breath, my arms still in position, before attempting to push myself up. I gritted my teeth hard, pushing with all my might, knowing that simple pushup took way more effort than it should have.  
Once my arms, which felt like jelly, were finally straight, I looked up at my friends. Mari and Safi were doing the best out of all of us, but still we weren’t a very fit group. Quite the opposite actually. Well, we were a bunch of nerd-girls after all, with Mari and Safi being the only ones with any sort of strength training.  
“Adaliz! Don’t stop until ze minute is over!” Germany barked.  
Panting in effort and exasperation, I focused my gaze back down at my hands and, with much effort, lowered myself. The moment my chest touched the ground, my arms buckled and I landed on my face.  
“Leesy are you okay?” I heard Mari ask as Zara and Alex laughed and Safi nudged my side.  
“I’m good.” I puffed. “Let’s try that again.”  
“Ze minute’s up.” Germany stated.  
“Woo yeah!” I exhaled, spreading my arms out against the ground.  
“Not for you.”  
I lifted my head up, not sure of what I’d just heard. “Huh?”  
Germany frowned, well, he was always frowning, at me. “You only did one real pushup. You get anozer minute.”  
“What?” I exclaimed. “Oh come on!” My head dropped into the dirt. “Have a little mercy for the scrawny white girl!”  
“Most of your friends are smaller zen you.” he motioned to Zara, Safi and Alex. “They can do more zen you. Unt I don’t see vhat race has to do viz anyzing. Again.”  
Stifling a groan, I got to work, and after another extra-long minute I was finally allowed to stop. Germany was not pleased by the amount I had accomplished.  
“Sit ups.” He said immediately. “One minute. Go.” At least those I could do, but after the minute I still had not met whatever standard the country had in mind. My friends weren’t doing much better, but I was still the worst off.  
After lots of other strength crap, we sprinted, which I sucked at, and we did an endurance run, which I sucked even more at. By the end of it all, I had side cramps on both my sides, my arms and chest were sore, and my legs and stomach burned.  
Hah, hah, I, really, suck at this, don’t I?” I panted, which turned into a somewhat crazy laugh. “I mean, I really, really, suck!” Then I flopped over onto my back because I didn’t think I could laugh and breathe properly at the moment.  
My friends joined me on the ground, d laughing at the all-around un-fitness of ourselves and each other.  
Germany stood over us. He seemed to be studying us, his face one of confusion.  
“What’s up German-dude?” I asked  
‘German-dude’ scowled in response. “You truly are American, aren’t you?” he said with a sigh. “I vas vondering vhy you find your lack of strengz humorous.”  
“I don’t know,” Mari said through her giggle fit. “We just do.”  
“Well, if we can’t fix it, then why be frustrated about it?” I asked rhetorically.  
Germany’s brow furrowed. “But you can fix it.” He said as we slowly got to our feet. “Training can make you strong.”  
“Well obviously!” Alex laughed, motioning at Germany’s well developed muscles.  
“Oh my gosh can you even imagine Zara as buff?” I asked, which sent us all back to the ground in another fit of laughter.  
The nation still looked like he didn’t understand the situation, but he sighed and seemed to let go of it. “Alright. I vill now give you my opinion on your physical strength.  
Sensing a change of mood, (Whoa, we actually sensed the mood?!) my friends and I made an effort to actually sit up for the German’s verdict. He sat too, and I noticed that his posture naturally stayed straight like everyone always tells you to sit, but you never actually do.  
“Vhen you five first zretoned Herr France,” Germany said frankly. “I had my doubts on your physical strengz, but I didn’t know it vould be zis bad. It doesn’t seem to me zat any of you vould be able to take care of yourselves in ze case, however unlikely, zat somezing bad could happen. In your case, even your chances of outrunning a pursuer are slim. Italy and Japan train here viz me a few days per veek, and you are velcome unt encouraged to come. You all need it, especially you.” He pointed at me, and somehow I couldn’t help but feel ashamed.  
“Aw, do we have to?” Alex asked. “Alex lazy.” Which annoyed Mari’s inner grammar Nazi to no end.  
“Come on Alex!” Zara protested, shaking Alex by the shoulder. “We haven’t done anything since we got out of school, and I miss track. Come on, track was fun, wasn’t it?”  
With a sigh, Alex said. “Yeah, I guess so. Alright, I’m in.”  
“Safi?”  
“I’ll go if you guys go.”  
“Good. Lees?”  
“Sure, if we’re all going together, why not? I could use the exercise.” I laughed, thinking about how much I’d probably regret this later.  
“Okay!” Mari said with a smile. “We’ll figure out the details when we get settled in.”  
Germany agreed.  
“Whew!” I said, forcing myself to my feet even though my body screamed in protest. “Is there any water around here Germany?”  
“You mean you didn’t bring any for yourselves?” he asked. “Even zough I specifically said zat ve vould be training?”  
I bit back my Shut up! and said, “I don’t think we knew we’d be training this hard.”  
With a sigh, the nation got to his feet. “I’ll go get some.” He said before stalking off.  
“While he’s doing that,” Zara said as she got to her feet. “I’m going off in search for a bathroom. Alex! Come let’s go on an adventure!”  
“Alex tired.” Alex replied from her place on the ground. “Alex sleep.”  
“Come on Alex adventurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!” Zara whined as she grabbed our friend’s arm and began to drag her across the field. Eventually though Alex did get up and they went skipping away in search of toilets.  
By the time Germany got back with five full water bottles in hand, those two still weren’t back yet. “Vhere are ze ozer two?” he asked as he passed the water bottles to us.  
After I’d taken a good long swig, I answered. “Dunno. They’ve went off to look for a bathroom, but they’ve been gone a while now.”  
“We should probably go look for them.” Mari said as she helped Safi to her feet. “We don’t want them getting into trouble.”  
“Probably shouldn’t have let them go off by themselves.” Safi added with a sigh.  
“Let’s get going zen.” Germany said. “Before they have the chance to do something stupid.”  
“Hey now, only we can call them stupid.” I said, stretching as I lead our merry little posse in the direction Alex and Zara had skipped off into.  
We had been looking for a while, and I was starting to get worried when we finally found them.  
“Thank goodness!” Mari exclaimed. “Well, they look fine to me.”  
“Looks like they didn’t find the bathroom.” Safi giggled, the two of them having yet to notice us.  
Squinting my eyes, since the troublemaking duo were a ways off, I tried to make out what they were doing. Both of them were sitting on the ground, with some small cylindrical things littered around them on the ground. It wasn’t until they each lifted one of the objects, smacked them together, and chugged the contents that I realized.  
“ALEX! ZARA!” I screamed. “WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!”  
Said girls’ heads popped up and towards us when I yelled, but instead of responding they laughed and scrambled to their feet, which Alex was having a bit of a hard time doing.  
No. I thought was I broke out into a run towards them. No no NO!  
Continuing to cackle like madwomen, Zara and Alex both took off in different directions, Alex having a hard time keeping her balance, but still making tracks, and by the time the rest of us had gotten to where they had been sitting, they had disappeared into the woods.  
“Fudgeing fudge fudge fudgity FUDGE!” I desperately tried not to swear as I kicked what I had feared the cylindrical items to be: beer cans. Most of them hadn’t been opened, but two had been drained dry. Crap. “How could we have let them-graaaaah!”  
“Hei!” Germany protested. “Quit ruining perfectly good beer!”  
“Your ‘perfectly good beer,’” I soun on my heel and glared at the country. “just made two of our friends drunk and running through the woods!”  
“Zey only had one each!” he countered. “How could zey possibly be drunk off of just zat?”  
I stared at him and watched the realization spread across his face.  
“… Vell, zen, ve’d better go look for zem.” Germany said.  
“Right, let’s split up then.” Said Mari. “So we can go after both at the same time.  
“Wait-”  
“Okay, Mari and I will look for Alex, and you two go look for Zara.” Safi suggested.  
“Hang on, I think we should-”  
“Good luck!” the two of them cried in unison as they ran off into the woods in search for Alex.  
“…-stick together.” I finished dejectedly. Then I sighed and turned to Germany, who was looking down at me. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”  
With a sigh of his own, the German replied, “Ja.” And we headed off into the woods.  
We looked for a while in silence, which was quite awkward, but I couldn’t come up with anything to say. I’m not a great conversationalist. Alone with a guy again, I thought to myself. Crap.  
“Okay.” I said aloud, talking more to myself than to my companion. “Where would she hide? Where does she usually hide? … Aw man it’s Zara! She could be anywhere! Drunk and absolutely anywhere! Running around in the woods of a foreign country, probably lost, and to top it all off, drunk!” My initial concern with the situation returned and I began to get frantic. “Zara! Zara!” I started calling like the mother of a lost child. “Zar-AH!” I yelped as I was spun around.  
“Calm dovn!” Germany said as he gripped me by my shoulders. “Panicking vill not help. Ve’ll find her. She couldn’t have gone far. Take a deep breaz, it’s going to be fine.”  
Taking his advice, I forced myself to suck in slowly, then blow out. “You’re right.” I said. “Freaking out won’t find Zara. What we need to do is-” I stopped suddenly and listened, cocking my head to the side and furrowing my brows in thought.  
“Vhat is it?” the country asked.  
“What is that?” I answered with a question. “Do you hear it? Is that what I think it is?”  
“Is vhat-Hei!” the German protested when I took off through the forest towards the sound. “Don’t you go running off too!”  
Not really paying attention to him, I ran until I reached a clearing in the trees and found that I had been right. IN front of me was a huge waterfall, and when I say huge, I mean HUGE. It went down seven, um, what do you call those, oh steps! for over 500ft, and it was absolutely beautiful.  
“Holy fudge.” I breathed as the nation caught up to me.  
“Hm?” he said, looking up. “Oh. Ze Triberg Falls. I zought ve vere in ze Black Forest.”  
My imaginary anthro-ears perked up. “The Black Forest?” I asked as I turned towards him. “The Black Forest? The one where all those Brothers Grim fairytales took place?”  
Germany looked at me, confused. “Ja.” he said.  
Exhaling, I turned towards the woods from whence we’d emerged. “Mari must be having a field day. Or, she would be, if she knew what these woods were.” And with that I turned back around and started heading towards the huge waterfall.  
“Vait, vhat are you doing?” Germany called after me.  
“Gonna go climb some rocks!” I said, my smile betraying my inner glee as I took my shoes in my hands and stepped onto the cool, wet rock with bare feet.  
“Adaliz zat is not safe!” the country protested as I jumped to the next rock. “You are going to slip unt fall!”  
“No I won’t!” I answered without so much as looking over my shoulder. “I don’t believe in falling, remember?”  
“Zat didn’t work so vell last time.”  
Unable to contain my giggle at the thought, I said, “Well, this time it’s different. There are tons of rocks like this where my friends and I come from, and I’ve never so much as slipped on rocks.” I stooped into an animalistic crouch, studying the distance of stones in the zig-zagged trail naturally laid out in front of me. Then with a huff I quickly darted across them, my feet making a nice pap sound each time they safely landed on a rock. When I reached the end, and almost the other side of the river, I turned back towards the country, rose to my toes, threw my arms in the air and shouted, “Ta-da!”  
Germany didn’t say anything; all he did was cross his arms and glare at me from the side.  
“Oh come on!” I called over to him, shifting my feet to stay balanced. “Nothing?”  
Then the German’s eyes widened and he stretched out an arm to warn me. “Adaliz look out-!”  
-was all I heard before I hit the water with a splash. Apparently there hadn’t been as much rock behind me as I thought there had been. The freezing temperature of the water combined with the sudden impact to my rear made me yelp involuntarily. Luckily I had landed in a shallow pool and was in no danger of going over any of the falls, but that didn’t make me any less startled.  
“Adaliz! Are you alright?” I heard Germany call to me.  
“Y-yeah,” I stuttered slightly from the cold, and honestly, probably from the shock too. “I’m okay.”  
“Hang on, I’m coming.” The country replied, and I looked up to see him running across the tourist bridge not far from where we’d come out of the woods.  
Staggering around in the water, I was finding it a bit difficult to stand with the shivers starting already and the pain in my rear. Thankfully it didn’t feel as if my tailbone was broken, but man did it hurt! “Sh-!” escaped my mouth as I slipped on the slimy, slippery underwater stone, throwing my arms out keep myself standing. Resorting to the use of all fours, I climbed out of the water onto dry rock, then I shifted on my weight and sat with a painful splat on the stone bank where I tried to compose myself. I tried to stop the shivering, but Germany isn’t exactly the warmest country, not even in July, so my efforts were pretty much wasted.  
I heard Germany come up to me as I pulled my squelchy, wet sneakers back on. I didn’t look up at him.  
“Scheisse frou,” he muttered when he reached me. “I told you not to do it.”  
“I know.” I mumbled, fresh out of sass as I pulled my knees inward, trying to retain some of my body heat.  
The country sighed and I felt his hands grabbing the sides of my forearms. “Come on.” He said, lifting me clean into the air and setting me down gently on my feet, my shoes making a squish sound. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
“I’m f-fine.” I chattered, try as I might to hold it back.  
“You look cold.”  
“Y-yeah w-well it’s m-my own f-fault.”  
After a second of silence, I realized the jacket that had been around the German’s shoulders was now descending over mine.  
“N-no, I’ll g-get it w-wet.” I protested.  
“Vell you should have zought about zat before you decided to cross.” He stated simply before draping it over my shivering frame.  
I was going to insist he take it back, but it was already so warm… I couldn’t so much as open my mouth. My hand moved on its own to clutch at the jacket’s collar to pull it in closer. Despite the fact that my body was cold, I still felt my face managing to heat up. What the heck?  
“Sorry.” I said, my voice just above a whisper.  
As the country sighed again, I forced myself to look up at him. I hadn’t noticed it before, but he wore a pendant on a chain around his neck. Hey, that’s an iron cross. A friend of mine who was a big fan of German culture had worn one often. If I remembered correctly, it was some sort of symbol of military strength, like a war medal or something.  
“Danke. Just don’t do it again. Alzough,” he looked me in the eyes, and I was thankful to not find any anger there. “I have a feeling zat you vill probably ignore my varning.”  
With a small smile, I looked back down again. “Probably.”  
Sighing for the third time, Germany said, “Come on, let’s find your friend before you get into any more trouble.” causing me to smile a bit wider as we made our way back through the forest.  
~~Um, don’t really know what to call this time-skip~~  
I swear of all the places I could have expected to find Zara, not one of them was hanging from a blimp.  
When a huge zeppelin crossed over Germany and I in a clearing in the forest, our faces changed into identical ones of shock as I realized just who was dangling from a rope beneath it.  
“ZARA?!” I screamed up at her. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU’RE NOT ROSE! THERE IS NO CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS TO STARE AT YOUR BUTT!!* GET DOWN FROM THERE!!!”  
“Oh hi Leesy!” Zara called back and waved. Thankfully, unlike Rose, she was not hanging onto the rope with her bare hands. Instead she had it tied precariously around her waist, which of course did not help my nerves. “You guys look like ants down there!” she laughed.  
“How the holy heck are we going to get her down from there?” I asked, turning to the German. He wasn’t paying attention to me, he was yelling in German over the noise of the blimp into a walky-talky he had probably just pulled out of thin air.  
“Wheeeeee I’m Peter Pan!” Zara laughed, spreading her arms and legs out, the rope swinging in a way that made me want to pull my hair out.  
Germany put his walky-talky away and shouted over the noise to me, “Zey’re bringing her dovn now!” The he looked up and began beckoning to the blimp, and sure enough, the zeppelin appeared to be getting bigger and louder as it descended.  
“Aw, is the flight over already?” Zara whined as she came down.  
As soon as her feet touched down I undid the knot around her waist, dropped the rope and shook her by the shoulders. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” I screamed at her. “What could you possibly have been thinking?! Why would you EVER in a MILLION YEARS pull a stunt like that?!”  
“I saw a rope, tied it around me, and the next thing I knew I was going up!”  
“Why the HECK would you just tie a random rope around you?!”  
“Oh come on Leesy,” Zara said nonchalantly. “It’s me we’re talking about here. Is it really that hard to believe?”  
“G-g-, gewzffffjjjjkkgg!” My throat made noises of exasperation as I clawed my hands and shook them at Zara, which only made her laugh at me. “You know what? I don’t give a flying buttress! You are NEVER getting drunk again.”  
“Drunk?” Zara laughed. “Leesy, I’m not drunk!”  
“Don’t you start. I saw you drink that beer!”  
“Leesy, it was only one beer.” She said with a smile. “Do you really think that’s enough for a person to get drunk off of?”  
My eyes glanced towards Germany, whose look said ‘I told you’ so clearly he didn’t even have to say it. “For you, yes.” I said, looking back at Zara.  
“Well I don’t feel drunk.” Zara said, grinning and swinging her arms a bit. “I don’t feel disoriented at all! Well, no more than usual anyway. I’ve got no symptoms!”  
“She’s right.” Germany said, walking up to us and examining Zara. “She doesn’t look like she’s had anything to drink at all. Completely sober.”  
Hands moving through the air in large gestures of exasperation and frustration, I said, “What? She tied herself to a blimp! A BLIMP! No? Nothing? You’re not gonna chew her out? At all?!”  
“Somezing tells me you’ve got zat covered.” He answered.  
“You bet your britches I do. Come on, let’s go find the others.” I grabbed Zara’s wrist and began stalking back through the woods, the nation close behind.  
~~PS, the blimp was Mari’s idea~~  
It wasn’t long before we found Mari and Safi, and thankfully they’d succeeded in locating Alex. According to them, they’d found her with her head in a rabbit hole, mumbling something about Alice in Wonderland. Now however, she was flat on her back in the grass, waving her arms in the air, mumbling crazy nothings and all around just looking completely wasted.  
“Well I can see alcohol’s had the expected effect on her.” I said as we met up with them.  
“Where did you find Zara?” Mari asked.  
“Why are you all wet?” Safi asked.  
“And why are you wearing Germany’s jacket?” Zara asked.  
“You,” I said pointing at Zara. “Shut it. You,” I pointed at Mari and Safi. “Take her.” I handed Zara over to them. “And you,” I grabbed Alex’s arm and yanked. “On your feet.”  
She laughed crazily as she staggered to her feet. “Hey Leesy, what did you do with Mister-Studly-German-Man while you two were alone?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows and making Zara laugh.  
My face became so hot you could fry an egg on it. “You’re in big trouble missy. Just wait till we get home.” And without another word from anyone I started stalking home, Alex in tow, with no danger of ending up anywhere else because for once that day I had a one track mind.  
~~Just so you know Alex, it was pretty much unanimous as to how you would react under the influence ;)~~  
The first thing I did when we got home was drag Alex into the bathroom and shove her into the bathtub.  
“Aw come on Leesy, it was just one drink! And we were in Europe so it’s okay!” she slurred at me with her dopey smile.  
And with that I turned on the water, grabbed the holdable shower head, pulled the ‘trigger’ and blasted Alex with ice-cold water, screaming, “DON’T! BE! DRUNK!”  
Third Person POV  
Alex’s screaming could be heard throughout the house. Mari, Zara, Safi and Germany, who had followed them home just to make sure they got back safe, all stood in the door of the bathroom, watching the spectacle. It didn’t take long for Zara to fall to the ground, howling with laughter at the misfortune of her friend.  
Safi shook her head and sighed. “I’m going to go make her some coffee.” She said, heading into the kitchen.  
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Mari asked. “You know how Alex gets around caffeine.”  
“It’s good for drunkenness, right?” Safi pointed out as she poured grounds into the coffee maker. “Besides, I think she’ll need it.”  
“Does she alvays react zis vay to people who drink?” the country asked, looking a bit alarmed.  
Mari sighed. “No, just with us.” She said. “We made a deal long ago that we wouldn’t let each other drink, and those who did would suffer the consequences.” She gestured towards the door, out of which ran a sopping wet Alex, who screamed “COLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!” as she ran up the stairs, leaving a trail of ice cold water in her wake before disappearing upstairs with the slam of a door.  
Not long after, Lees emerged from the bathroom with a major grumpy face on. “You.” She said, pointing to the Duck on the ground. “You’re next.”  
With a shriek and a laugh, Zara leaped to her feet and shot back out the front door, with Lees in hot pursuit. However, since Zara still seemed completely sober, she and no intention of being caught. And if Zara is not wearing heels and she doesn’t want to be caught, she will not be caught.  
Panting from her efforts, Lees gave up and practically fell back through the door. “I’ll get her later.” She mumbled to no one in particular as she plopped down into a chair at the table.  
Seeing that the situation was now under control, Germany decided to take his leave  
Lees watched him go, but it wasn’t until he was out the door that she realized that his jacket was still wrapped around her shoulders. “Wait, Germany!” she called after him as she ran after him. When she did catch up to the German, jacket in hand, she found she was at a loss for words. “Um,” she said, trying to figure out why her voice wouldn’t work. She felt there was more she should say, but in the end all she did was hand him the jacket, saying “Danke.”  
The country looked at her for a moment, and Lees found it hard to keep from squirming under his blue gaze. “You’re velcome.” He replied as he set his hand on her head for just a moment in a friendly gesture, much to Lees’ surprise. “Tschüss.” He said before turning and continuing on his journey home.  
Lees stood there for a moment and watched him go, lightly touching where his jacket had rested on her shoulders before going back inside, thinking about how cold she was again.

*Three Doctor Who references in one chapter? And England wasn’t so much as mentioned?? What am I doing with my life!


End file.
